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Guest Ali

Can I help my brother?

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Guest Ali

Salam Alaykum dear brothers/sisters,

I am aware that there are issues regarding the faith of many youth out there in the West. With the western culture and society gradually going into an immoral state, the youth are going along with this tide. I am a youth myself in the West and I require the help of any brother/sister regarding a personal issue.

I have a brother (sibling) in his twenties who is in his final year at uni who has gone astray (can't say completely). He was completely devoted to religion since he was a young youth, however as several years passed and getting into college, he seemed to slowly achieve blind faith. When he started university it got worse, he mixed up with the wrong group of friends which led him to drink, party and get into an unlawful haram relationship. After my parents came to the realisation of these things, they tried to explain how you can make the relationship halal, and what you're doing is haram and build upon from there. None of this worked and he left the house (been about a year but no relations cut). I've been in contact with him through text (occasionally) and today I was able to set up a time in the upcoming days where I could meet him for dinner at a restaurant. What can i do to bring him back to Islam, how am I able to let his heart and soul wake up and soften after its been filled with countless sins? How can he fear Allah? 

Ya Mahdi Madad

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The only way you can guide someone is by giving example. Let your brother do the questions to you, and if he doesn't, you will achieve nothing by trying to make him understand what he doesn't want to.

Of course, remembering him the path is advisable.

The good thing, though, is that all that partying, bf/gf culture, etc. tends to last sooner rather than later. He will probably realize that himself.

Give it time and don't cut off ties.

Edited by Bakir

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hi the way of Ahlulbayt (as) is good speech & behaviour even more with guilty people & their enemies so I recommed you behave him with full love and dont force him anything because he still has his pride just try to help him with halal & best way you can help him but dont forget the right pass of Allah.  

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7 hours ago, Guest Ali said:

Salam Alaykum dear brothers/sisters,

I am aware that there are issues regarding the faith of many youth out there in the West. With the western culture and society gradually going into an immoral state, the youth are going along with this tide. I am a youth myself in the West and I require the help of any brother/sister regarding a personal issue.

I have a brother (sibling) in his twenties who is in his final year at uni who has gone astray (can't say completely). He was completely devoted to religion since he was a young youth, however as several years passed and getting into college, he seemed to slowly achieve blind faith. When he started university it got worse, he mixed up with the wrong group of friends which led him to drink, party and get into an unlawful haram relationship. After my parents came to the realisation of these things, they tried to explain how you can make the relationship halal, and what you're doing is haram and build upon from there. None of this worked and he left the house (been about a year but no relations cut). I've been in contact with him through text (occasionally) and today I was able to set up a time in the upcoming days where I could meet him for dinner at a restaurant. What can i do to bring him back to Islam, how am I able to let his heart and soul wake up and soften after its been filled with countless sins? How can he fear Allah? 

Ya Mahdi Madad

Your first priority should be to build his confidence in you, do not let him think of you as a person who is forceful because I know that western societies have misinterpreted well-being as forcing someone which is incorrect. Secondly, you should reject his wrongful attitude with evidence and rationality. Such as if he asks you, have you got any girl friend. Tell me that why should I steal someone's daughter without taking her legally into a relationship because without legal contract even thing is stealing. And if he says you that her father will have no issue because dating is a culture, say him that her father is not her real guardian but Allah AWJ and for His permission, it requires a marriage to bring any girl in my life.....This was just an example, through rational evidence, I think you can bring him back but do not be forceful. If Allah AWJ wills, he will be back. 

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stealing is the incorrect word, as you are implying coercion, thus rape. Although the commonality of relations are generally coerced by emotional manipulation, although, the same rules apply when guardians are involved. One party benefits more then the other.

Why do you think he needs to be saved, what if he proclaimed you need to be saved?

People do not mix with the wrong crowd by accident, they do so based on particular desires that person or group fulfills in that period, thus it becomes the norm. Best example is to observe those who work in certain type of environments, they generally tend to practice the behaviors and ideas as it rubs off on them.

You can tell him, there are two paths.

Path 1 - He stays on course.

Path 2 - He comes back to his conditioned course. This has a higher probability. The true question is at what point without damage or regret.

I commend your family for not breaking the relation and exercising intellect in explaining and patience.

 

Edited by monad

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