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Missing my daughter

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i am in a situation I don’t know how to fix 

my husband was abuisve towards me mostly emotionally a tiny bit physically 

we have 2 kids together 

 he kept my precious daughter 

I really miss my daughter she was truly my world and my everything leaving them was the hardest thing to do but at the time I thought I was doing right by her as I saw her being very distressed if I removed her from her father as she loved him so much so even though it was hard on me I did what I thought would make her happy and that wouldn’t be with me 

I’m sorry if I’m not making much sense I’m almost in tears 

I’m thinking to return back he is claiming he wants me to return home but I just can’t bring myself to do with all the pain he caused me yet I still love him 

he recently lied and said my daughter was sick in hospital when she was in fact well and never in hospital 

this was confirmed by the hospital I felt really sick that he could lie about her like this 

He does not let me communicate much with my daughter and she believes her maid is now her mother 

i am living very far away so visting is no option 

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