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Guest Anonymous

What should I do in this situation?

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Guest Anonymous

Salam Alaikum everyone,

I am in a very difficult situation, and I have no idea which direction I should go in so I am seeking advice (even if it's a harsh truth!) I will try to keep this short.

I married my husband 7 years ago, we have one child. Three years ago I came to find out that he married another woman temporarily for a term of 8 years (they still have 5 years in their term). It shattered my whole world. I never thought he would do this to me, he lied originally about it to try to delay my feelings.

When I first found out, I asked him ti leave her and he agreed. I thiught that was that and we moved on. A year after I found out that he had lied to me again, that he was still seeing her. I gave him another chance and actually accepted him being married to her on the condition that their relationship is strictly over the phone. He agrerd but I never fully trusted him, but thought it was what was best for our son at the time. 

I've recently come to realize that he is in fact seeing her in person still (surprise!) and broke down. I've cried nearly every day, and feel that my love to him is gone. He's promised to change and says he will only talk to her on the phone, but my heart can't trust him again. It's been very difficult not only on us but our son as well. It's come to the point that I have asked him for divorce, but he will not divorce me.

My questions are, is anything he doing considered haram? Knowing that I will leave, is he obliged to divorce this other woman in order to save his permanent marriage? How can I go about getting a divorce from him? My biggest fear is that of losing my son (he is 3), what are the rules regarding him - who has primary custody?

Thank you all for your time

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Guest :mpnad

the religion allows him to marry more then one. you are stipulating the divorce on the condition of a lie. Therefore this is not about his marriage to another woman, but the contract or verbal agreement where, you asked him not to do X and he agreed only verbally, perhaps to calm the situation. You are also mixing his second marriage as cheating and it being non halal. This is incorrect. Read up on the Islamic Law.

We are not jurists, you need to consult a few of them and perhaps read upon the Islamic laws regarding , with it including the ruling of his and yours Marja

https://www.al-islam.org/search/site/divorce

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Salaam Alaykum

If you both stipulated this condition that he doesn't have right to marry a second woman or do temporary marriage, then it is Haram. Otherwise, it's absolutely Halal.

In this situation do not think about divorce. Get that out of your mind. First of all pray to Allah and ask for help. Then talk with your husband and tell him EVERYTHING. Exactly tell him that your love to him is now gone. Tell him that you were always thinking about him and you care about him. Talk with him about your marriage, child, and everything. Moreover, be more responsive to him. Try to catch his attention. Be kinder and talk more with him. Whenever he comes home, go and say hi to him at the door. Tell him beautiful words. Let him know that you care about him. Walk him out whenever he leaves to work. Tell him:"I appreciate your effort for the family". Be kinder and responsive to him. Make good food and tell him I made this food just because you like it. Be the one that he likes. Do these things and see the results, then you will not even think about divorce.

Allah gives hard times to strong people.

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Guest Amira al-a7lam
3 hours ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

If you both stipulated this condition that he doesn't have right to marry a second woman or do temporary marriage, then it is Haram. Otherwise, it's absolutely Halal.

Really? May you point out how can you see his lies about leaving that woman or being with her by phone only to be Halal?

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