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1 minute ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

Haha no way! Must be telepathy! :D I’m glad at least your sister liked it! And yeah, Denzel’s acting is what made it a bit more light hearted. :D 

Have you seen the theater performance of James Earl Jones as Troy? One word: intense. 

No i've never heard of it before actually lol. I'm not much of a theater lover to be honest. Literally, no one likes to watch movies with me because im too impatient and forward half the movie XD

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12 hours ago, starlight said:

@Akbar673 @forte

No one here is stigmatising psychiatric illnesses. I made the earlier post to talk about how psychiatric patients are hooked to drugs for life despite their proven inefficacy to cure mental illnesses. Psychiatric drugs treat only symptoms and their use should be limited to acute stages with a focus on tapering them off as soon as possible.  Support, rehabilitation,psychotherapy , life style changes are what really manage the illness,which brings me to what sis @Laayla was saying. Getting closer to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى,strengthening your faith, doing charity, not losing hope in Allah's help and mercy is the best for of psychotherapy and meditation a person can do.

I wanted to make a much detailed post but am unable to find the time,unfortunately.

Here is what the director of National Institute of Mental Health(NIMH,US) Thomas Insel has to say about psychiatric medication 

"Four decades of drug development resulting in over 20 antipsychotics and over 30 antidepressants have not demonstrably reduced the morbidity or mortality of mental disorders,"

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

My condolences to you sister on this Friday morning for the martydom of Aba 3bd Allah.

You are a doctor and have been through these drugs.  But your experience is irrelevant to them, because they do not want to take up on your advice to change.  

 They keep addressing me as ignorant, so anything I say about the subject they have already set up their minds.  Allah swt help them with their illness.  

Sub7an'Allah this is the last part of du3 komail that sums it up. Imam Ali with certainity says:

، يا سَريعَ الرِّضا اِغْفِرْ لِمَنْ لا يَمْلِكُ اِلا الدُّعاَّءَ فَاِنَّكَ فَعّالٌ لِما تَشاَّءُ يا مَنِ اسْمُهُ دَوآءٌ وَ ذِكْرُهُ شِفاَّءٌ وَ طاعَتُهُ غِنىً اِرْحَمْ مَنْ رَأسُ مالِهِ الرَّجاَّءُ وَ سِلاحُهُ الْبُكاَّءُ يا سابِغَ النِّعَمِ يا دافِعَ النِّقَمِ يا نُورَ الْمُسْتَوْحِشينَ فِى الظُّلَمِ يا عالِماً لا يُعَلَّمُ صَلِّ عَلى مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ وَافْعَلْ بى ما اَنْتَ اَهْلُهُ وَ صَلَّى اللّهُ عَلى رَسُولِهِ وَالاْئِمَّةِ الْمَيامينَ مِنْ الِهِ وَ سَلَّمَ تَسْليماً كَثير

Whose Name is the remedy (for all ills) and Whose remembrance is a sure cure for all ailments and obedience to Whom makes one self sufficient; have mercy on one whose only asset is hope and whose only armour is lamentation O' Thou! Who perfecteth all bounties and Who wardeth off all misfortunes!

O' Light! Who illuminateth those who are in bewilderment! O' Omniscient! Who knoweth without (acquisition of) learning! Bless Mohammed and the Descendants of Mohammed and do unto me in accordance with that which befitteth Thee,

and deal with me not in accordance to my worth May the blessings of Allah be bestowed upon His Apostle and the Rightful Imams from his Descendants and His peace be upon them plentifully

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

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1 hour ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

My condolences to you sister on this Friday morning for the martydom of Aba 3bd Allah.

You are a doctor and have been through these drugs.  But your experience is irrelevant to them, because they do not want to take up on your advice to change.  

 They keep addressing me as ignorant, so anything I say about the subject they have already set up their minds.  Allah swt help them with their illness.  

Sub7an'Allah this is the last part of du3 komail that sums it up. Imam Ali with certainity says:

، يا سَريعَ الرِّضا اِغْفِرْ لِمَنْ لا يَمْلِكُ اِلا الدُّعاَّءَ فَاِنَّكَ فَعّالٌ لِما تَشاَّءُ يا مَنِ اسْمُهُ دَوآءٌ وَ ذِكْرُهُ شِفاَّءٌ وَ طاعَتُهُ غِنىً اِرْحَمْ مَنْ رَأسُ مالِهِ الرَّجاَّءُ وَ سِلاحُهُ الْبُكاَّءُ يا سابِغَ النِّعَمِ يا دافِعَ النِّقَمِ يا نُورَ الْمُسْتَوْحِشينَ فِى الظُّلَمِ يا عالِماً لا يُعَلَّمُ صَلِّ عَلى مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ وَافْعَلْ بى ما اَنْتَ اَهْلُهُ وَ صَلَّى اللّهُ عَلى رَسُولِهِ وَالاْئِمَّةِ الْمَيامينَ مِنْ الِهِ وَ سَلَّمَ تَسْليماً كَثير

Whose Name is the remedy (for all ills) and Whose remembrance is a sure cure for all ailments and obedience to Whom makes one self sufficient; have mercy on one whose only asset is hope and whose only armour is lamentation O' Thou! Who perfecteth all bounties and Who wardeth off all misfortunes!

O' Light! Who illuminateth those who are in bewilderment! O' Omniscient! Who knoweth without (acquisition of) learning! Bless Mohammed and the Descendants of Mohammed and do unto me in accordance with that which befitteth Thee,

and deal with me not in accordance to my worth May the blessings of Allah be bestowed upon His Apostle and the Rightful Imams from his Descendants and His peace be upon them plentifully

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

There is cure in Ahlulbayt words, also Du'a Alhazeen by Zain Al-Abedin for those depressed due to sins.

Sometimes though, those in extreme depression lack the ability to concentrate enough to recite long dua or find the words too harsh on them due to the burden of worries on them. For that, Istighfar is easy, can be said at any moment, any place. Remember that this simple zikr saved prophet Jonas from the Whale. In Islamic literature, depression is called Hem and Ghem. It is has been narrated from the prophet that he said: ( Whoever started reciting Istighfar a lot, Allah will make a way out for him from their worries and a solution for their obstacle, and will provide them with rizq (be it money, children, spouse etc) in a way hat never occurred to them.

روي عن النبي (image001.gif) أنه قال: (مَن أكثر الاستغفار: جعل الله له مِن كل همّ فرجاً، ومِن كل ضيق مخرجاً، ورزقه من حيث لا يحتسب)

There are other measures, some are already recommended by psychiatrists but they had been advised by Imams like this advise from Imam Ali (غسل الثياب يذهب بالهم والحزن، وهو طهور للصلاة). Wearing clean clothes, ward off the worries and sadness, They are also pure cloths for prayer.

It is an advice to take care of yourself. Remember that islam consider soul as sacred and consider health and well being as gifts from God that should be cherished and taken care of. One have no right to ridicule or humiliate themselves by looking dirty or un attended. So pushing yourself to be responsible for this gift that God give you is a step towards God and repentance. Always remember that small steps towards God are rewarded by huge cut in distance.   In a Qudsi hadith "Whoever come closer to me by a measure of  a shibr, i'll come closer to them by a measure of a dira'a'" Take shibr as centimeter and Diraa as a meter to understand the analogy.

Islam goes beyond that even. It says that acting up as if nothing is wrong is better that acting as if the world is against you or appearing as shabby and unclean and sad (which is why i dislike emo culture and music cullture that promotes that sort of look to life)

عن الإمام الصادق (عليه السلام) أنه قال: (إن الله تعالى يحب الجمال والتجمل، ويكره البؤس والتباؤس.. فإن الله عز وجل إذا أنعم على عبد نعمة؛ أحب أن يرى عليه أثرها، قيل: وكيف ذلك؟.. قال: ينظف ثوبه، ويطيّب ريحه، ويحسّن داره، ويكنس أفنيته.. حتى أن السراج قبل مغيب الشمس: ينفي الفقر، ويزيد في الرزق).

 Imam Sadiq said:( Verily, Allah loves beauty and beautification and dislikes misery and pretending to be misrable. Verily , when Allah bestowed on His servant a gift, He likes to see the effect of that gift on them) The Imam was asked what did he mean, he said "( clean your cloths, use perfume, improve his house and tend to his garden, .... even turning on a lantern at the sunset ward off poverty and increase sustenance".

Sometimes we are faced by sudden temporary low mood, sometimes we are raided by low mood for long time. Imam Sadiq says" If you felt worried without a reason, wash your head. If worries kept attacking you, then say la hawla wa la quwata illa billah frequently"

عن الإمام الصادق (عليه السلام) أنه قال: (من وجد همّا فلا يدري ما هو؛ فليغسل رأسه!.. وقال: إذا توالت الهموم؛ فعليك بلا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله).

Ahlulbayt also pointed out to the food as a therapy. Imam Sadiq said that black grapes helps in depression

روي عن الإمام الصادق (عليه السلام) أنه قال: (لما حسر الماء عن عظام الموتى فرأى ذلك نوح (عليه السلام)، جزع جزعاً شديداً واغتمّ لذلك، فأوحى الله إليه أن كل العنب الأسود ليذهب غمّك).

Trusting God: One of the therapies that Ahlulabyt pointed out to is the certainty. One should not live in doubt about God. You should be certain that He is with you, taking acre of you. In the hadith, Allah is more merciful and compassionate about you than a mother on her newborn. You just need to trust Him. It is all it takes. Remember that during hajj, of all the acts and rituals, ahlulbayt say that hajj is Arafah, although there is no specific ritual on Arafah day. Poeple go to the mount and they start praying to God to forgive them. In the hadith it is said that your certainty that God has forgiven you is what matters. It is how much you trust Allah and believe in His power, justice and mercy. (واطرح عنك واردات الهموم: بعزائم الصبر، وحسن اليقين.... ومن التوفيق الوقوف عند الحيرة، ونِعْمَ طرد الهموم اليقين .... نِعْمَ الخلق التّكرم)

Imam Ali said:( protect yourself from worries by patience and good certainty" Imam Sadiq said ( If everything is Qada and Qadar, then what's the sadness for?"

Remember that from the good trust in God is to believe that every test and trial He puts you through is for your well being. In Hadith Qudsi " I am amazed by my believing servant, wherever I directed him to, he only comes with good, or make good out of that situation"

There are more hadiths from ahlulbayt about this.

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12 hours ago, forte said:

I meant to quote the post and didn't for some reason.  I was referring to your judgement of your cousin with Rheumatoid Arthritis who only "popped pills" and is now in a wheel chair due to her decisions.  Intimating that it is her fault that she is in a wheelchair..

We have a responsibility to take care of the body (and mind) that Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى gave us.It'a not a choice,  it's an obligation. 

When you have access to the best healthcare in the country, when money is not an objective, when your husband and other family members and supportive then there is no excuse to let go of yourself like this.No one is asking her to go off pain killers and endure the pain,disease modifying drugs and physiotherapy have a very well defined role in treatment of arthritis and both go side by side to minimise long term complications and dusability.  She chose painkillers and steroids despite being told of the possible side effects. It was the choice she made and by no means she is the only one around us to do so. Lots of people opt for quick fixes instead of taking care of the underlying problem simply because the latter requires more hard work.Many Diabetics will settle for larger doses of insulin rather than cut back on the carbohydrates and exercise more. I know of diabetics who have ended up with amputated limbs because of a careless lifestyle. 

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12 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

Here’s why Bipolar Disorder is a real illness:

1. I went six entire days without a wink of sleep and experienced auditory hallucinations like sirens and seeing light brown ants on the ground. (And I would go several days without sleep until I would fall asleep for a day. Six days was just the most I went without sleep at a time.) This is called severe mania. I also had a “high” or euphoric mood for months at a time, that was out of my control. 

2. My depressive and manic episodes were so close together I had periods of no normal mood in between.

3. I had my first depressive episode at 9, which lasted for one year, and again at 11, which lasted until 13, until I had my first manic episode.

4. I thought of suicide nonstop before I got treatment.

5. I broke glass picture frames on my feet before I was rushed to the inpatient center.

6. I was non functioning and stopped going to school a month before the end of the semester. 

7. I have a history of GAD, starting from the age of 8, which goes hand in hand with Bipolar Disorder. 

8. I contemplated stabbing myself in the chest during a depressive episode. I held the scissors at my heart, until I put it down in a brief moment. 

9. I lost control of my bladder due to anxiety

10. I had anxiety attacks all the time

11. I had painful heart palpitations that resulted in me passing out before I could call 911.

12.  And finally:

When I was switching medications, I went without meds for only two days and ALL my symptoms came back, PLUS psychosis. So I had to have my medication adjusted at the inpatient center AGAIN.

This is terrible!! You had very difficult sad moments and you were so young! May God help you and cure you for ever.

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Although I believe medications are necessary for those suffering from severe mental diseases, I think we should not call another member "ignorant" because she thinks differently.

Medications are composed of different herbal and chemical elements which all were created by God and He put cure in them.

Edited by shadow_of_light

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1 hour ago, starlight said:

.Many Diabetics will settle for larger doses of insulin rather than cut back on the carbohydrates and exercise more. I know of diabetics who have ended up with amputated limbs because of a careless lifestyle. 

Many people in the US with diabetes are also morbidly obese, but what does that have to do with mental illness? People with mental illness do not typically lead “careless” lifestyles. While environmental factors can trigger mental illness, most people with them (myself included) come from stable families. 

As for people settling for higher doses: that’s not true for everyone. I’ve been on the lowest dose of my medication with no major problem since switching.

@Laayla: why won’t you address my points on mental illness? Or do you have trouble admitting that there is such a thing? This is something I’ve had since CHILDHOOD. Still think I need to pray it away? 

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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5 hours ago, Laayla said:

ou are a doctor and have been through these drugs.  But your experience is irrelevant to them, because they do not want to take up on your advice to change.  

 

You’re stubborn about how there are different options to change. Almost any doctor will tell you that medication alone won’t be enough and that therapy is also needed. What Starlight experienced is just one out of millions of people and what she experienced was probably situational anxiety or depression, not clinical. You choose to cling to your points by stating her bad experiences with them. But what about those who benefit from them? Plus, antidepressants can be sometimes used for a couple of years before you are tapered off—but people with other mental disorders must be on them for life. 

Why not take my experience, my word, when I say, that since the medication, NONE of my symptoms have returned? That I have been STABLE? 

Medication stabilizes the mood, while therapy gives people the tools to work out any temporary changes in mood. 

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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I read somewhere that before you diagnose yourself with depression, make sure you are not surrounded by mean and toxic people. 

@starlight @Laayla @Chaotic Muslem You mentioned all the methods but you didn't mention the most important thing depressed people need to do: get rid of the people who are the real cause of depression: but Islam doesn't allow you to do that because it's qata rehmi and those dear relatives don't allow you to get divorce from a toxic person. 

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2 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

what does that have to do with mental illness?

My post was meant for forte in response to something he said.

2 minutes ago, rkazmi33 said:

those dear relatives don't allow you to get divorce from a toxic person. 

But you got out,right? So be happy and relieved that's it's over. :)

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I certainly know the struggle of depression and anxiety.

I was a new first year student at a private high school and some kids who were ethnically Italian (our town has a large Italian community) picked me out for being a typical white Aussie kid and decided to make my life a living hell. Everyday I went to school being teased, punched and made to feel less of a human being which lasted for about a year and a half. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and all I wanted to do was be at home and not wanting to speak with anyone. The principal at the school accused me of lying about my depression in order to hurt the reputation of ‘good’ students. It’s not a big surprise that this guy was related to the students so I was upset even further. I finally moved to a new school but my anxiety and depression continued but I was extremely lucky in meeting a teacher who saw my potential and helped me rebuild my confidence after so many years of wanting to stay home and die. I was put in a class with two teachers who helped to get me back to school which I was extremely scared of. This lasted for three years and I could finally return to my regular schooling in senior years but my second last year again went to hell. I never went, I was depressed and constantly questioned everything. This led me to learn about the world in general and trying to understand what my place in it was and soon enough I discovered Shia Islam. Upon researching the faith it gave me hope in Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and his Justice. I completed high school coming second place in most of my classes even though I was technically only in normal high school classes for two years in my entire school experience I still somehow managed to graduate far beyond anyone expectations with many hoping I would go off to university which of course I was hoping for as well but it didn’t work out. I don’t care though I’m proud of how far I’ve come, I started senior year with an average mark of 35% finishing with 90%. I’ve become spiritually and physically stronger in being able to combat life’s biggest challenges and what has become of the boys who bullied me? They all dropped out of school very early and most are still unemployed. I ran into one of the bullies the other day, he didn’t recognise me which to my suprise hurt me very much. How could someone who caused me so much grief  and suffering with many years of taking medication and making me feel like I was lesser than crap not remember who I was? I don’t know and I don’t care. I have plans to find a job in the area of law enforcement. My experience of being a victim has wanted me to do be a helping hand for others and protect the innocent. This mentality was what probably also attracted me to the shi’a Islamic faith because of its emphasis on justice and doing good by all people. 

I hope you enjoyed my long story my brothers and sisters in religion and humanity. Salam Aleykum. 

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2 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

I read somewhere that before you diagnose yourself with depression, make sure you are not surrounded by mean and toxic people. 

@starlight @Laayla @Chaotic Muslem You mentioned all the methods but you didn't mention the most important thing depressed people need to do: get rid of the people who are the real cause of depression: but Islam doesn't allow you to do that because it's qata rehmi and those dear relatives don't allow you to get divorce from a toxic person. 

Actually, professionally, it is advised not to take any life changing decision (marital, family, job etc) while in depression or clinical anxiety episodes. The same advise is embded in teh Ja'fary fiqh, the man who announces talaq upon his woman should not be doing it under the eat of the moment. It is not accepted as legal talaq if done in such situation.

This advise is based on the belief that life stressors are many and various and will not stop occurring as long we are alive. Facing them by running away from them or denying they exist or letting them eat us inside out is part of our poor coping mechanism with stress, and stress management.

There are many humans who went through hardships and marital issues without falling to clinical depression or anxiety. Falling into a clinical depression then recoving from it should alarm us to manage our stresses better and improve our coping mechanisms, not to blame it all on external factors because external factors are not under our control.

We just do our best with our own self, the rest of what we cannot control we leave it to Allah.

Wish you the best.

Edited by Chaotic Muslem

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16 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

My condolences to you sister on this Friday morning for the martydom of Aba 3bd Allah.

You are a doctor and have been through these drugs.  But your experience is irrelevant to them, because they do not want to take up on your advice to change.  

 They keep addressing me as ignorant, so anything I say about the subject they have already set up their minds.  Allah swt help them with their illness.  

Sub7an'Allah this is the last part of du3 komail that sums it up. Imam Ali with certainity says:

، يا سَريعَ الرِّضا اِغْفِرْ لِمَنْ لا يَمْلِكُ اِلا الدُّعاَّءَ فَاِنَّكَ فَعّالٌ لِما تَشاَّءُ يا مَنِ اسْمُهُ دَوآءٌ وَ ذِكْرُهُ شِفاَّءٌ وَ طاعَتُهُ غِنىً اِرْحَمْ مَنْ رَأسُ مالِهِ الرَّجاَّءُ وَ سِلاحُهُ الْبُكاَّءُ يا سابِغَ النِّعَمِ يا دافِعَ النِّقَمِ يا نُورَ الْمُسْتَوْحِشينَ فِى الظُّلَمِ يا عالِماً لا يُعَلَّمُ صَلِّ عَلى مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ وَافْعَلْ بى ما اَنْتَ اَهْلُهُ وَ صَلَّى اللّهُ عَلى رَسُولِهِ وَالاْئِمَّةِ الْمَيامينَ مِنْ الِهِ وَ سَلَّمَ تَسْليماً كَثير

Whose Name is the remedy (for all ills) and Whose remembrance is a sure cure for all ailments and obedience to Whom makes one self sufficient; have mercy on one whose only asset is hope and whose only armour is lamentation O' Thou! Who perfecteth all bounties and Who wardeth off all misfortunes!

O' Light! Who illuminateth those who are in bewilderment! O' Omniscient! Who knoweth without (acquisition of) learning! Bless Mohammed and the Descendants of Mohammed and do unto me in accordance with that which befitteth Thee,

and deal with me not in accordance to my worth May the blessings of Allah be bestowed upon His Apostle and the Rightful Imams from his Descendants and His peace be upon them plentifully

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN 

When I was younger i had episodes of mania. No one knew what was wrong. My parents would frequently take me to the shrine of Imam Reza (AS) praying for a cure. Then one day while we were at the shrine i had a breakdown. My mother started crying and crying. Then a lady hugged her and took us to where she lived. She and her Husband were Doctors working at the Hawza. They checked me and even kept me in their house. It was them who had diagnosed me, and suggested medication. If medication for psychiatric illnesses aren't good, why would educated learned doctors, FROM THE HAWZA suggest it. I believe these beautiful people were the miracle of Imam reza. If it wasn't for them, i probably would have been claimed to be inauspicious and chucked on the street to live like a rat. 

You probably won't read any of this. Of course, i am using the power of vulnerability, and not having enough iman.

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If your spouse or anyone in your family treats you like this: get a divorce immediately and get away from that family member. All the people who hate overweight people are psychos and they have the potential to become killers. 

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum Sister @Chaotic Muslem

Insh'Allah you are well and in good health.

Your post was full of useful information of our beloved Imams.  Thank you for sharing the knowledge of Ahulbayt where they have the answers for everything.  Alhamd'Allah for this deen.

Brother A14, 

You know brother you can address your concerns without the mockery.  I assure you, you are more than capable to do so.  Alhamd'Allah rab al 3lmeen God granted me the ziyarat of Imam 3li ibn Moussa Reza too.  Let me tell you I truly believe his title as Anees al nafous.  The happiest and most joyful time in my life was when I was with my Imam and his sister.  It makes me very emotional because I miss them very much and I think of them often.  Our beloved Imam and Sayyida M3souma, cured many people through the permission of Allah swt.  Allah answered your mother's plea and cries too.  Be greatful to Allah swt and He knows who to give the risala to.  (Allah y3lmu ayna yada3 rasalatu)

Brother you are included in my duas when I say Allhoma ishfee kula mareedth.   Insh'Allah one day with strength, courage, and dedication you too will no longer need the drugs.  God bless you.

M3 Salaah, FE AMIN Allah

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Laith,

I'm sorry you're going through A hard time. I been there! I know how dark that feeling is. I went through it myself. Even accidentally hurt myself too. I even like the feeling too. As I look back at my "dark" days I'm glad I didn't continue with it. Imagine the people I would hurt if I did.

Now there will be other days you will be depressed or sad. What changes the situation is your attitude on it. If you believe there is hope, there is hope. If you believe there isn't, then there isn't. Have faith my little brother. Trust in Allah. He sees and hears you.

It sounds to me you're not talking to your parents or anyone, so your holding onto it. Talk to them. It doesn't hurt. Some of the Arab culture, and I'm sure in other culture, we don't talk about depression or any medical issues because some believe it shameful if you let someone know you're "weak" or have problems of any kind (rather it medical or not).

It isn't! Talk about it Laith. Talk to your mom or your dad and be respectful when you do. I wish you the best of luck and I'll keep you close to my prayers. Inshallah!

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@starlight

Regardless of people's choices over their own lives, it does not give anyone the right to evaluate and judge. There seems to be an unquenchable need of some people to tear apart those who are vulnerable and struggling to cope with basics in life (that most of us take for granted) with condemnation, rebukes and unending commentary on what they SHOULD be doing - because they are doing it WRONG. "Shoulding" on others is the hallmark of people with weak character and an avoidance or fear to address their own issues.  They don't realize that they are the actually the ones with the crippling results of their own self imposed limitations.  So many comments on here from a select few about how people with chronic illnesses and how they choose to address and deal with them, are obviously weak in strength and character and worse.  Perhaps members of the coven of those with "bitter auntie syndrome" - an ugly but, fortunately, curable disorder - could examine and adjust the person in the mirror first by finding some beauty and love in their own life which will lead to the ability to recognize it in the lives of others.  Most people do pretty much the best they can with their given abilities and situations.  Support and recognition of their successes with their challenges goes a long way.    

Edited by forte

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49 minutes ago, forte said:

Regardless of people's choices over their own lives,

Let's agree to disagree because we differ on how we perceive the emboldened part above so no point in continuing. For me this isn't my 'own life'.My body belongs to Allah and I am answerable for whatever I put it through. I am living this life with a set of duties to accomplish-duties towards Allah, towards my spouse, my children,my parents, towards other Muslims and humans. If I choose to act irresponsibly with the any of the resources(health,time,money) Allah has given to me not only will I be accountable to Allah for I that I will also have to answer for any grief I caused to the people around me with my irresponsible attitude. I can start eating unhealthy,stop exercising, start taking drugs which knock me out for the whole day,at the slightest inconvenience life throws at me, and my husband and little children and old parents can look after themselves because you know it's 'my own life',I can live it the way I want. Don't you dare judge me!

We weren't sent to the world to enjoy.We were sent here to be tested and one of the tests is illnesses. So we have a choice,either we can add to our troubles by complaining or we can be strong and positive and not let that one misfortune take our lives and the lives of those around us.There are people who can only dream of the healthcare we can afford and while we waste the day complaining about our physical afflictions to sympathetic family members there are others suffering from the same or worse who go out to work to feed their children.  Life is about constantly pushing ourselves to do better,it's a constant struggle so I couldn't disagree more with what you have been repeatedly saying about everyone doing their best. 

Obviously according what you believe and follow it would be wrong to judge mothers who give birth to babies with fetal alcohol syndrome, parents of little babies who kill themselves after drug overdose and obviously since you are such a non judging person labeling people "weak in strength and character" is completely non judgemental. Lol. 

This thread has gone completely off topic,if you think it needs to be closed please do. @notme @Hameedeh @Khadim uz Zahra

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

Sister Starlight, thank you for eloquently explaining and addressing the issue at hand.  The western cultural has been focusing and sticking this non harm junk in everyone's throat, that you can do whatever you want as long as you don't harm anyone else. So many families destroyed and dysfunctional because everyone wants to do according to their own desires and don't care about anyone else in the family.  

 
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ

 

 

66:6 O YOU who have attained to faith! Ward off from yourselves and those who are close to you [11] that fire [of the hereafter] whose fuel is human beings and stones: [12] [lording] over it are angelic powers awesome [and] severe, [13] who do not disobey God in whatever He has commanded them, but [always] do what they are bidden to do. [14]

More ad hominem attacks instead of supporting their arguments. 

 

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

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This is practically a fight between the ill and the healthy. Generally, we are very clever at hiding the devil within us, as our motive for prescribing religion is in self not a praise of God, but rather telling God, look at how great I am at praising and believing in you. Of course there is nothing wrong in that, but if I were to write a few scenarios of particular experiences, I wonder how many would be able provide a reasonable solution and whether, anyone would have the energy to be on that journey of recovery with the ill person.

How would you treat a sexually abused boy/girl?

What if a male/female came and said I got raped, and it was parent, uncle, close family member?

What if a mother with a child just escaped a War zone, is in a new country, her family is dead?

What if some is now an orphan?, they don't have the luxury of being hugged or touched, perhaps until if they grow up reasonably, their spouse might do so.

In the most of these cases, the lack of emotions will be closed off or they wont be stable. That would be one root to fix.

the other issue is that of religion?. God claims to be merciful, yet, these individuals lost their innocence, now they see a contradiction in the word of God, how will you reconcile it?

I am sure spending five minutes thinking of a solution, isn't as easy. The reason being, that many of you have either experienced this, have not, or have dealt with someone like this. One of you may claim and the above and throw a verse or story of the divine, which may work for a few hours, now this ill person, wants to sleep, but during the night, the mind is now reminding them of that fear, this involves a sleepiness night, and it continues, the thoughts are ever lasting, nothing will remove them, what is the solution?.

Edited by monad
ownage time.

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@monad Every needs love and support and  sympathy. Some deserve it more than others like the people you described in the above scenarios but everyone needs it. 

To briefly answer the rest of your questions, Allah isn't unjust. He compensates in other ways. I was orphaned at a young age but we got support in unexpected ways. I ended up married to a man who made my life difficult in ways I had never imagined(may Allah help him) but I found friends who worried and protected and cared for me more than sisters. It was upto me, either I could continue wallowing in the misery or I could focus on the the good and use it as a stepping stone to raise above the misfortunes. Off topic but in my difficult times I often thought of this saying by Imam Ali (as) 

He who is deserted by friends and relatives will often find help and sympathy from strangers. 

Bottomline being people need help and sympathy but after the initial crisis has somewhat passed they need to make efforts to pick themselves up. 

Edited by starlight
Autocorrect errors because typed in hurry

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6 hours ago, monad said:

This is practically a fight between the ill and the healthy. Generally, we are very clever at hiding the devil within us, as our motive for prescribing religion is in self not a praise of God, but rather telling God, look at how great I am at praising and believing in you. Of course there is nothing wrong in that, but if I were to write a few scenarios of particular experiences, I wonder how many would be able provide a reasonable solution and whether, anyone would have the energy to be on that journey of recovery with the ill person.

How would you treat a sexually abused boy/girl?

What if a male/female came and said I got raped, and it was parent, uncle, close family member?

What if a mother with a child just escaped a War zone, is in a new country, her family is dead?

What if some is now an orphan?, they don't have the luxury of being hugged or touched, perhaps until if they grow up reasonably, their spouse might do so.

In the most of these cases, the lack of emotions will be closed off or they wont be stable. That would be one root to fix.

the other issue is that of religion?. God claims to be merciful, yet, these individuals lost their innocence, now they see a contradiction in the word of God, how will you reconcile it?

I am sure spending five minutes thinking of a solution, isn't as easy. The reason being, that many of you have either experienced this, have not, or have dealt with someone like this. One of you may claim and the above and throw a verse or story of the divine, which may work for a few hours, now this ill person, wants to sleep, but during the night, the mind is now reminding them of that fear, this involves a sleepiness night, and it continues, the thoughts are ever lasting, nothing will remove them, what is the solution?.

When someone is under stress and is not sleeping enough, and is anxious all the time, they get paranoid and fight or flight system of the brain is on all the time. They find a fight in everything and everyone is fighting them. Healthy, wealthy, women, chiildren even teh flies.

Get some sleep.

I met many clients who went through the horrors you mentioned. I've met war survivors, rape survivors, domestic violence survivors and sufferers etc etc. Only their belief in Allah has saved them. They who say that. They leave me speechless after telling about it and I just cannot hold the question : How did you become tough enough to go through that?. Usually they will tell about how the faith saved them and the prayers.

Let them be. Allah is watching us all and taking care of all His creation, Monad, but you need to find help bro. Do it before it is too late. Do not feel ashamed, do not feel discouraged and do not claim to be super human. Someone out there will help you, trust me.

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What do these posts have to do with the mentally ill? And why is it that @Laayla won’t address my post on why Bipolar Disorder needs medication and that it is an illness? 

What bothers me most is the Holier than thou attitude. Some of you are attacking those who need to take medication, and these medications are the reason, by the will of Allah, why I’m alive today! Without these meds, and without treatment, I would have been in Hell for possible suicide. So what is worse? Being in Hell because I never got treatment for my illness and decided to end my life, or taking medication? You bet I’ll take medication over Hell any day! 

The problem is that some people have certain things mixed up. Lifestyle choices is not why someone is depressed, like, say, a person with diabetes might have their illness (due to overeating) so stop treating like it’s our fault! It’s not my fault I’m Bipolar, and I have a family history of depression in my family. 

What the Ahlul Bayt (AS) said about depression and it’s cure is the temporary, situational depression and sadness, not the clinical. 

EDIT: Starlight, @forte reference to “weak” people was not to bash them, but he was reflecting on the attitude on this thread regarding those will mental illness.

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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