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KulluNafsin

On the verge of a divorce - Seeking advice

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1 hour ago, KulluNafsin said:

When I threatened her with divorce a week ago, she said she wants to continue to try. I highly doubt and know for sure there’s is no other man. 

When I ask her when things will go back to normal, her answer is that she needs time. She’s unable to find it in her to forgive me just yet. 

I want to be clear. My trips prior and after have been sports or with friends based. Not business. 

PLZ PLZ DNT THREATEN HER..dnt make her insecure that she will b out of ur life..its clearly shown from her reply that she want to b with u . if she needs time give her time.. dnt do anything just show ur love... i dnt know what u have done so she cant forgive u give her time show u love.. a woman`s heart is not so hard that wont feel her husband`s love.. show her ,make her feel and she will forgive u.. i can only b so hard with my husband if he gets involved with anyother woman because i cant bear that.. i dont know whats in her heart but keep trying.. with patience 

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7 hours ago, ktk said:

salam brother.. as i am a woman i can tell u about our emotions.. first of all she is hurted by u that much that she dont accept u as a husband.. women cant say to her husband a harsh sentence until not even her heart but her soul is badly hurt.. and on times like this only saying sorry or to apologize is not enough... and sometimes ur words dont do the effect at all but ur caring and silence love can do..

what a wife wants from her husband is only love.. obviously she needs other things 2 but they are secondary..

as she dont say or talk, no problem u can do little things for her that a women want to fell that she is being loved.. silently show that u love her and want this relation ship to heal..

like if ever she look at u , u can give her a friendly lovely smile .. she dont smile back or ignores u no problem continue smiling.. another good idea.. u can give her a blanket at night when she lie down to sleep but remember without touching her..if she gets sick take care of her like a mother does for her child this is the best way to say that u love and care.. wait for her when having food so she comes and start her own meal.. when she walks or sits around u look at her from time to time that she know that u looking at her and u concerned about her.. place a red rose next to her pillow from time to time .. place a card on kitchen slab that says u love her.. bring her, her favorite chocolates or a book or her favorite perfume.. show concern about her family members.. 

there can b thousands of these little things that can bring her closer to u.. but remember it will take time b  patient and pray 2 IN SHA Allah Allah WILL HELP U..

This comment is full of good advices to me to be ready for future

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7 hours ago, ktk said:

salam brother.. as i am a woman i can tell u about our emotions.. first of all she is hurted by u that much that she dont accept u as a husband.. women cant say to her husband a harsh sentence until not even her heart but her soul is badly heart.. and on times like this only saying sorry or to apologize is not enough... and sometimes ur words dont do the effect at all but ur caring and silence love can do..

what a wife wants from her husband is only love.. obviously she needs other things 2 but they are secondary..

as she dont say or talk, no problem u can do little things for her that a women want to fell that she is being loved.. silently show that u love her and want this relation ship to heal..

like if ever she look at u , u can give her a friendly lovely smile .. she dont smile back or ignores u no problem continue smiling.. another good idea.. u can give her a blanket at night when she lie down to sleep but remember without touching her..if she gets sick take care of her like a mother does for her child this is the best way to say that u love and care.. wait for her when having food so she comes and start her own meal.. when she walks or sits around u look at her from time to time that she know that u looking at her and u concerned about her.. place a red rose next to her pillow from time to time .. place a card on kitchen slab that says u love her.. bring her, her favorite chocolates or a book or her favorite perfume.. show concern about her family members.. 

there can b thousands of these little things that can bring her closer to u.. but remember it will take time b  patient and pray 2 IN SHA Allah Allah WILL HELP U..

Jazakallah sister. 

You people have been very helpful  I ask that you keep me in your prayers InshA  

if a MOD sees this thread can be closed 

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Salaam,

Try going to a couple's therapist or a psychologist. I am not sure where you live, but preferably see a muslim psychologist who has a good reputation amongst muslims, and also keeps details of their clients private. I cannot tell you how many times muslims of the desi and maybe even arab variety doctors don't understand this principle and go tell everyone about some client they had and their issues. I am not attempting to be presumptuous, but maybe their is a psychological hangup causing her to have extreme emotions and feelings. Don't be biased by movies, people with mental disorders and hangups look and act COMPLETELY NORMAL, if I could I could have you be best friends with a guy with Bipolar disorder but you would never be able to tell he had this disorder unless you were close enough to him as a friend and acutely perceptive. I am not saying your wife has mental disorders or problems, but the possibility exists in anyone no matter how "normal" they act. Anyway, there is no downside in talking with a couple's therapist or psychologist who specializes in these things, as even if the chance of mental disorders or hangups is not there they can help to give advice from a third person point of view and help amend your marriage. 

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