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Ok I know that this has been asked like 100 times but I can't find anything like my situation. Also I live in America, this may help with understanding culture as well. And I'm a revert. 

I have no family! Not just no Islamic parents, but I literally mean no family. So it's like if some Muslim man liked me at school and asked my friend "hey, I like her, can you get her father's number for me" and she may say "no, but this is her father's address 777 heaven St." And he would feel sorry and then not have a way to court me.

Ok so why would I ask this, why not just date like regular American girls? Because this already got me into to much trouble even almost killed. So I have someone I trust who even advised that I take her council. Then it hit me, no I don't just want her council I want her to act as my father would and weed out the psyhco paths.

But is this halal? If in that example the school mate said "no but here is her sole guardians number, ask her guardian" is this halal? Also this person I trust is not Muslim. But she told me while I was upset that "only a Muslim man would want you. If that's what you want go for it" so she puts her feelings aside if it is what I want and does look out for my interests" 

I just need to know if it's halal and if it would work that way. Thank you.

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45 minutes ago, Elizabethm said:

Ok I know that this has been asked like 100 times but I can't find anything like my situation. Also I live in America, this may help with understanding culture as well. And I'm a revert. 

 

I have no family! Not just no Islamic parents, but I literally mean no family. So it's like if some Muslim man liked me at school and asked my friend "hey, I like her, can you get her father's number for me" and she may say "no, but this is her father's address 777 heaven St." And he would feel sorry and then not have a way to court me.

 

Ok so why would I ask this, why not just date like regular American girls? Because this already got me into to much trouble even almost killed. So I have someone I trust who even advised that I take her council. Then it hit me, no I don't just want her council I want her to act as my father would and weed out the psyhco paths.

 

But is this halal? If in that example the school mate said "no but here is her sole guardians number, ask her guardian" is this halal? Also this person I trust is not Muslim. But she told me while I was upset that "only a Muslim man would want you. If that's what you want go for it" so she puts her feelings aside if it is what I want and does look out for my interests" 

 

I just need to know if it's halal and if it would work that way. Thank you.

Assalam u Alaikum 

First, such posts are generally a red flag on this forum and we do not approve them for reasons that you may receive unwanted messages or that our members are being trolled. Simply said, we do not allow posts that may encourage others to propose. [Title/Tags of the post changed]  

But in the interest of revert sisters who I think receive the least support from the Muslim community and to give you a benefit of the doubt, my advice to you is as follows (and it is purely my personal view): 

It depends on your age and your level of maturity. Suppose you are under 18 (or whatever is the legal age of majority in your country). If you think, and others can vouch, that you are a mature individual you may be able to take care of issues such as contract and marriage by yourself (keeping Islam aside, a purely common law jurisdiction would allow it unless overridden by a statute). It would mean that you can also directly deal with proposals. But, if you think that you need a guardian regarding such affairs, I think that your non-Muslim friend is fine as long as she understands and respects the Islamic law that you have to be married to a Muslim of good character.

From the point of view of Islam, again, my understanding is that if you do not have parents or other guardians, you should ponder and make a decision whether you are capable of dealing with affairs of marriage by yourself or if you need the assistance of a guardian. If a guardian is required, ideally you should ensure that he or she is a good human being to start with. Furthermore, it would be advisable if the guardian is also a Muslim. But if such an option is not available to you easily, I would settle for the only sincere council that you are currently able to get. Do I make sense?

p.s Try to forward a similar (but short) question to scholarly offices. I am no expert in fiqhi matters and cannot take the entire burden of guiding you. Members will be able to share their email addresses or perhaps a better piece of advice. 

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An independent woman can choose to take guidance from whichever friends she considers to be wise and trustworthy. It's not the same as a wali (guardian), but she can choose how much weight to give the advice of her friends. I'd encourage any man or woman who has no family to introduce potential spouse to friends and get their honest opinions. It's easy to deceive one person, especially when there is emotional attachment. It's not so easy to deceive several. 

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