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Salaam everyone, 

For way too long I have felt lost. I don't know where to start, but here we go anyway.

My faith is diminished, my inner-peace is gone, I've no direction in life, my days are unproductive, restless but unable to move. This lead to depression last year. Thankfully I'm not depressed anymore, but it will be coming if nothing changes. All this free time is an opportunity to really think about my life, but so far it has only distanced me from the solution(s) to the problems mentioned. I'm afraid this gap-year will pass without me having achieved anything in the right direction, instead driving me away to my doom. 

I don't know how to change my life, how to turn it around. I don't know how to regain my faith, and if I did, am I not simply deceiving myself into believing? I've had an Islamic upbringing, Islam is part of who I am, part of my identity. Do I wanna belief because I fear and love Allah, or because I'm as unable to remove part of my identity as I am unable to cut off a limb? Is praying, reading Qur'an and supplicating really a way to the truth, or fuel for my bias? I'm aware of my psychology, and for that reason I don't even trust myself and my reasoning. Just as much as I've difficulty believing right now, I've difficulty leaving my faith. I'm in between, and it's tearing me apart. 

I probably sound totally lost, and that's exactly how I feel. I simply don't know what the truth is. I've no certainty, and even if I did feel certain, I'd still doubt my reasoning. Add to that the kind of unfulfilling life I'm living right now, even to atheist standards. I don't know whether negligence of faith is what lead to dip I'm in now, or whether it is a chaotic life that lead to weak faith. 

What drives me crazy is that I can't even answer the question ''Do you belief in God?'' I simply don't know, even though I'm great add debating for the existence of God. Maybe that gives you in an idea of the state of confusion I'm in. Good friends of mine joked about me having a midlife crisis (I'm 18) because of my constant worries for the future but also for the point I'm at right now.

I really hope someone can help me out with good advice or something to read that will be able to get me somewhere. 

Thanks a lot for reading.

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

Are you up for the challenge? If you are, read further. If not, just ignore. 

Step away from bad friends.  Keep up with salat.  Turn off music for 40 days straight.  Get away from social media.  It is a distraction, from real issues!

Eat hallal and spend with hallal money.

Do good, be courteous.  Have gratefulness towards your Creator.

We are in month of Muharram, go to majlis and cry for Imam Hussain.

You want to know tragedy, you want to know pain and suffering, go attend a majalis.  Ask Imam to help you find and recognize where you went wrong and guide you back.

Imam Hussain is the guiding light and ark of salvation.  The fastest way to Allah swt is through Imam Hussain.  

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

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Salam

It is very sad to see that so many people, nowadays, suffer from depression and feel hopeless.

Praying and having a strong belief is definitely helpful.

In addition, you must maje yourself busy. Having so much free time is not good for you.

Do not stay alone at home. Go out. Go to your relatives/ friends' homes or invite them to your home.

Sunlight is very good for you and so does Omega3. They increase the amount of serotonin in the blood.

Study inspiring books. Watch TV. Do crosswords (it will make you addicted).

More free time you have, more you fall into depression.

 

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Assalamallikum,

1] To "throw" a thought at you, l caught on TV recently this pompous kufr showing-off for himself. Yet he did say a comment about belief:  "ls it rational, or is it rationalization?"

2] Your 'down time', "lost", is not unusual. So use it to rack-up a few points for yourself for Last Day.

Besides salah, and reading Quran (same as saleh) you can 'do a study' --such as picking out one or two ayats and then study through Quran to increase you understanding about them (Quran repeats itself and is internally self-explained.) Then Iook for any hadith that may apply and then repeat.

3] Get some exercise.

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On 9/26/2017 at 12:04 PM, hasanhh said:

Assalamallikum,

1] To "throw" a thought at you, l caught on TV recently this pompous kufr showing-off for himself. Yet he did say a comment about belief:  "ls it rational, or is it rationalization?"

2] Your 'down time', "lost", is not unusual. So use it to rack-up a few points for yourself for Last Day.

Besides salah, and reading Quran (same as saleh) you can 'do a study' --such as picking out one or two ayats and then study through Quran to increase you understanding about them (Quran repeats itself and is internally self-explained.) Then Iook for any hadith that may apply and then repeat.

3] Get some exercise

 The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says,'Surely the heart rusts like iron.' People inquired, 'How can it be polished?' He (s.a.w.s.) said, 'By remembering death and with the recitation of Quran.' (Nahjul Fasahah) 

God bless you brother Hassan

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21 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

Are you up for the challenge? If you are, read further. If not, just ignore. 

Step away from bad friends.  Keep up with salat.  Turn off music for 40 days straight.  Get away from social media.  It is a distraction, from real issues!

Eat hallal and spend with hallal money.

Do good, be courteous.  Have gratefulness towards your Creator.

We are in month of Muharram, go to majlis and cry for Imam Hussain.

You want to know tragedy, you want to know pain and suffering, go attend a majalis.  Ask Imam to help you find and recognize where you went wrong and guide you back.

Imam Hussain is the guiding light and ark of salvation.  The fastest way to Allah swt is through Imam Hussain.  

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

Thank you for this advice. 

I'm up for the challenge, although it will be difficult. Stepping away from a friend I've known for 12 years, etc. But it's worth getting out of this misery. 

Can you recommend me anything to read? Anything with depth, with meaning and understanding? I've tried googling, but a lot keeps touching only the surface of the problem I'm having.  

Thank you.

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On 9/26/2017 at 12:01 PM, shadow_of_light said:

Salam

It is very sad to see that so many people, nowadays, suffer from depression and feel hopeless.

Praying and having a strong belief is definitely helpful.

In addition, you must maje yourself busy. Having so much free time is not good for you.

Do not stay alone at home. Go out. Go to your relatives/ friends' homes or invite them to your home.

Sunlight is very good for you and so does Omega3. They increase the amount of serotonin in the blood.

Study inspiring books. Watch TV. Do crosswords (it will make you addicted).

More free time you have, more you fall into depression.

I hang out with friends a lot and I do go out, but it all has little meaning to me right now, all it does is suck away my energy. The only thing that matters to me now is either fixing my belief and having it like it once was, or leaving it completely without regrets or bad feelings. I need to make a decision and I came here hoping for guidance and help. 

Could you name a few inspiring books to send me on track?  

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21 hours ago, hasanhh said:

Assalamallikum,

1] To "throw" a thought at you, l caught on TV recently this pompous kufr showing-off for himself. Yet he did say a comment about belief:  "ls it rational, or is it rationalization?"

2] Your 'down time', "lost", is not unusual. So use it to rack-up a few points for yourself for Last Day.

Besides salah, and reading Quran (same as saleh) you can 'do a study' --such as picking out one or two ayats and then study through Quran to increase you understanding about them (Quran repeats itself and is internally self-explained.) Then Iook for any hadith that may apply and then repeat.

3] Get some exercise.

1] I don't get what you want to say with this... But the question about rationality vs rationalization is exactly what I'm battling with right now. I understand that praying and reading Qur'an can increase my belief, but is that rational? I think I don't fall for many logical fallacies, but there's no way for me to know if my beliefs get stronger because of logic or confirmation bias. Rational, or rationalization? 

How would you go about this on a daily base? How do I go about studying the quran everyday? How would you divide it? I'd like to keep up with it, not do it for a day and then quit. 

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7 hours ago, DarConall said:

I hang out with friends a lot and I do go out, but it all has little meaning to me right now, all it does is suck away my energy. The only thing that matters to me now is either fixing my belief and having it like it once was, or leaving it completely without regrets or bad feelings. I need to make a decision and I came here hoping for guidance and help. 

Could you name a few inspiring books to send me on track?  

Which languages do you know?

Here are some inspiring books:

The Sacred Journey by Dan Millman

Books written by Catherine Ponder

Books written by Florence Scovell Shinn

The Alchemist and The Manual of the Warrior of Light by Paolo Coelho.

P.S: I personally dont agree with everything the above authors say in their books and in some cases I even disagree with them, but in general, their books are excellent.

Edited by shadow_of_light

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7 hours ago, DarConall said:

I hang out with friends a lot and I do go out, but it all has little meaning to me right now, all it does is suck away my energy. The only thing that matters to me now is either fixing my belief and having it like it once was, or leaving it completely without regrets or bad feelings. I need to make a decision and I came here hoping for guidance and help. 

Could you name a few inspiring books to send me on track?  

Does the life, in general, have any meaning for you? Maybe your problem arises from it (finding no meaning in life).

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Dear brother @DarConall

All the wonderful advises above, specially the taking up  the 'challenge' one.

If I may suggest, if you really want to transform your life, listen to these five lectures from a very wonderful Shia sheikh. Take a notebook and feel free to rewind the lectures or listen to them multiple times. I just can't get over these after repeatedly listening to these for past couple of years.

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On 9/27/2017 at 5:08 PM, shadow_of_light said:

Which languages do you know?

Here are some inspiring books:

The Sacred Journey by Dan Millman

Books written by Catherine Ponder

Books written by Florence Scovell Shinn

The Alchemist and The Manual of the Warrior of Light by Paolo Coelho.

P.S: I personally dont agree with everything the above authors say in their books and in some cases I even disagree with them, but in general, their books are excellent.

Thank you. I speak Dutch, Arabic and English so these books won't be a problem. I've read the alchemist a very long time ago (I was maybe 13) so I forgot what the story was or if it even had any deeper meaning to it. Do you think I can take something useful out of it that will help me get back on track? 

On 9/27/2017 at 5:14 PM, shadow_of_light said:

Does the life, in general, have any meaning for you? Maybe your problem arises from it (finding no meaning in life).

It used to, God was all the meaning my life had... But when you lose that, you're left with no meaning to life. Being very religious and relatively strong in belief and then losing that makes you feel really empty inside. To be completely blunt, suicide doesn't seem too bad to me, I don't see the point of me existing if I can also be non-existent without the conscious to ever realize I don't exist. But then there's the people who care for you, the people which get meaning to their life because of you, and the risk having of deceived yourself into thinking there's nothing after this life. 

On 9/27/2017 at 5:28 PM, Irfani313 said:

Dear brother @DarConall

All the wonderful advises above, specially the taking up  the 'challenge' one.

If I may suggest, if you really want to transform your life, listen to these five lectures from a very wonderful Shia sheikh. Take a notebook and feel free to rewind the lectures or listen to them multiple times. I just can't get over these after repeatedly listening to these for past couple of years.

I'll check these out, thanks a lot brother. 

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I suggest medication and therapy for your depression. Don't worry about religion right now, but focus on getting better.

all the signs point to you still being depressed.

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19 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I suggest medication and therapy for your depression. Don't worry about religion right now, but focus on getting better.

all the signs point to you still being depressed.

do you think having a sheikh or something talk to me about this will be beneficial, including what you think is still depression? I've no mosques or anything nearby, but maybe calling for ''an appointment'' might be a wise decision? I've no experience with these things and I've barely visited any mosques to begin with, so I don't know of the extend of help I can expect.

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6 minutes ago, DarConall said:

do you think having a sheikh or something talk to me about this will be beneficial, including what you think is still depression? I've no mosques or anything nearby, but maybe calling for ''an appointment'' might be a wise decision? I've no experience with these things and I've barely visited any mosques to begin with, so I don't know of the extend of help I can expect.

I mean therapy with a Muslim therapist would be the wisest option right now, because Sheikhs are not psychologists, they specialize in religion.

PM me and we can talk more about it. 

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4 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I mean therapy with a Muslim therapist would be the wisest option right now, because Sheikhs are not psychologists, they specialize in religion.

PM me and we can talk more about it. 

Thank you for your help. I'll see where there's mosques nearby and if I can talk to someone there about this. It might help me to even just speak to someone religious. 

I can't seem to send you a private message. I also have a notification telling me my content needs to be approved by a moderator first, so maybe that is why. 

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Yes I think the Alchemist is a good inspiring book but I think that 'The Sacred Journey" by D. Millman can help you more. The latter is based on a real exprience of the authour who seeked for the inner peace.

If you lose your faith, the life will seem more meaningless for you. Religious people usually find the life more purposefull largely because they know (or at least we can say they believe in) their origin and destination. They know that they were not created without any previous purpose and planning. So they know that there are some goals in their existence.

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By the way, reading the biographies of successful people can help you a lot.

You have many options; suicide and leaving your beliefs are amongst the worst ones. So why choose them?

Life is a test, a challenge, an opportunity which will NEVER happan again. What will you do if you have to take part in a very important competition?

 

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23 hours ago, DarConall said:

1] I don't get what you want to say with this... But the question about rationality vs rationalization is exactly what I'm battling with right now. I understand that praying and reading Qur'an can increase my belief, but is that rational? I think I don't fall for many logical fallacies, but there's no way for me to know if my beliefs get stronger because of logic or confirmation bias. Rational, or rationalization? 

How would you go about this on a daily base? How do I go about studying the quran everyday? How would you divide it? I'd like to keep up with it, not do it for a day and then quit. 

Rational: here in this context,  what you can see around you correlates with what is reveal by Khalaq-s.a.w.s.

Rationalization: here in this context,   acquiring a belief system to justify your personal preferences

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On 9/26/2017 at 11:05 AM, DarConall said:

I don't know how to change my life, how to turn it around. I don't know how to regain my faith, and if I did, am I not simply deceiving myself into believing?

It's bizarre how much this sounds like my former situation. 
I remember a few months ago, I was in a similar ''rough patch'' (just like you are currently). I went down this road and it truly was a very lonely and dark walk. 

The good thing is that you have already taken the first step towards a better future: you have accepted your situation. You're no longer being delusional about your circumstances, you're well aware of your life, your mistakes and everything else. 

It's a normal thing to question your religion. Alot of us were simply 'born into' Muslim households and we follow Islam because our parents tell us that it's the only right way or because of blind faith... but reasoning and questioning your faith is something you definitely SHOULD be doing! It's not unusual at all. 

I'd recommend reading book (God: An Islamic Perspective by Sayyid Akhtar Rizvi; probably one of the best books on al-islam.org): 
https://www.al-islam.org/god-islamic-perspective-sayyid-saeed-akhtar-rizvi

This one is great too: https://www.al-islam.org/god-islamic-perspective-sayyid-saeed-akhtar-rizvi 

Also you need to stop living in the past or worrying about the future because both of these practices are completely useless and make you feel stuck. Instead, make dua as it can change your destiny. start working on yourself. Every single day you get to wake up and get to improve your life - be greatful for that! Whether it's cleaning up the messes you made or becoming a better, stronger and happier individual, you should thank Allah for it. You're alive, so you can still change the story of your life. 

Get out of toxic friendships, exercise more (whether that's cardio or weightlifting) and never lose hope in Allah's mercy and guidance (which is a sin in itself). Stay away from pornography/masturbation, avoid listening to music. Study the Quran, watch lectures online (especially now during Muharram) and offer the five prayers. Allah will see that you're putting in an effort to improve your life. Not only will he help you with this task, he will change you first. 

Also, don't let your feelings get in the way of your goals towards a better self. If you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want - you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it. 

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On 9/27/2017 at 9:19 AM, DarConall said:

Thank you for this advice. 

I'm up for the challenge, although it will be difficult. Stepping away from a friend I've known for 12 years, etc. But it's worth getting out of this misery. 

Can you recommend me anything to read? Anything with depth, with meaning and understanding? I've tried googling, but a lot keeps touching only the surface of the problem I'm having.  

Thank you.

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

What topics are you interested in or looking for?

Right now I'm reading 40 hadiths by Imam Khomeini.

Man and Universe

https://www.al-islam.org/man-and-universe-ayatullah-murtadha-mutahhari

Guiding the Youth of the New Generation

AUTHOR(S): 
 
 
If you are not interested from the above, go to the link and scroll down under Related  Sources and pick a title of your choice.
 
God bless you and Insh'Allah you make an effort to improve your situation.
Brother, you don't need to be medicated you just need to step out of the environment you are in, get out of your routine and do something different. Make du32 in a sincere heartfelt position (best in sujood) and ask Allah from the depths of your heart to help you.  If you start making changes and work on yourself to the best of your ability, you will be guided.  
 
Attend majalis or listen online I recommend brother Khalil Jafaar.  
You can do this, with the help of Allah and love of Ahulbayt, you will get out of your situation Insh'Allah.  Say Bism Allah and start your challenge brother. Turn to Allah not to drs who want to give you a quick fix.  Doesn't solve anything except numb you.  Do you want to feel numb or do you want to self improve yourself and have a relationship with Allah swt?
 
This is a conversation you need to have with yourself.  God protect you and keep you from harm's way.
 
M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

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On 9/27/2017 at 5:28 PM, Irfani313 said:

Dear brother @DarConall

All the wonderful advises above, specially the taking up  the 'challenge' one.

If I may suggest, if you really want to transform your life, listen to these five lectures from a very wonderful Shia sheikh. Take a notebook and feel free to rewind the lectures or listen to them multiple times. I just can't get over these after repeatedly listening to these for past couple of years.

@Irfani313 I watched this video. 

I couldn't stop but ask questions. Here just one:

How could a needle be so hot to burn the whole earth? If it's infinitely hot then it can't be a solid in the first place, there will be no ''needle'' anymore. And even then, the surface area of such a needle is far too low to do anything but start a fire. 

Unless the fire of hell is even hotter than the theoretical maximum temperature possible in this universe, at which point different laws will start to apply. But I'll also be wondering how a person could ever deserve such a punishment then.

This given example should be reliable and true to what would actually happen, but the consequences of what would happen in the narration differ from what would happen in reality. 

I'm not here to critique of course. Merely showing you what happens when I watch a lecture or read a narration. Having too much doubts and questions makes me unsure whether I'm doubting the people narrating, or doubting the whole religion. 

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@DarConall  dear brother - focus on the theme of what he is trying to tell you in order to transform yourself, not lost in details.

But for your food for thought; lots of it is esoteric but is also extremely tangible. At least it will be in the day of judgement.

I’ll give you two examples:

1. Quran tells us Allah swt created this universe in 7 days. Obviously there was no sun back then, so what determined the 7 days. What it means actually is 7 periods of metamorphosis. So tangible but so esoteric. Give more thought to it from Quran and you will be amazed at the concultion you will reach. 

2. Hadith tells us that one day of standing in the judgement day would equal 50,000 human years. It’s lietrally this but is also very esoteric. I purposefully gave you this example because - 

Have you ever wondered how / why a seemingly small bit of sin in the world will be punished for say a million years in hell?? Think about it!! I’ll give you an answer but I would like to hear from you first. 

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