I feel guilty for not pursuing formal Islamic education at hawza, and I find so many excuses which are not valid.
I'm currently studying Civil Engineering at University and I have one year left to graduate. I'm pretty sure I'll end up getting a grad job (inshallah) and earn a decent amount. When I get a job, I'll work from 9-5 everyday and chill a bit when I get home.
However, I really want to persue Islamic education. I know for a fact that my parents won't let me, as they just want me to have a secure job where I can earn enough and be happy. They don't know my values and goals. I have always been into religion and I want to get a better understanding of it. Studying it at home is not the same, as you don't have a mentor or teacher.
I even live in a part of Australia where there is no Islamic seminary or anything. I don't wanna work for the rest of my life and not gain proper Islamic knowledge. It annnoys me at times. Like it's a massive investment which will benefit me.
Btw I'm 21 years of age right now.
Do you have any advice?
It's totally not abnormal for someone young like you to be afraid of death. You know most people don't fear death itself but what comes after it. So what you should do is calm down and understand why you fear it. And then try not to think about it that much. Occupy yourself with something like exercising, reading, or hanging out with friends. And don't just read Quran and pray just out of fear but understand why it's good for you do those things. Ask for somebody's, like family, opinion or perspective, that can help very much you know.
I hope this helps you inshallah
If way back then, the texts said, Man was created from hydrocarbon - I doubt it would make much sense to anyone so bad analogy.
Thanks. Jesus also said he has not come to destroy the Law but fulfill it and anyone advocating not following the law is least in the Kingdom of God.