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yazahra333

Trust in relationship

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Pessimist here:
If you stalk him and his phone too much he might buy another secret one.

Advice here:
Others gave it already.

Additional Advice:

1) Ask him what YOU can do for him to start praying again.

2) Don't forget to tell him how much you care about him and love him. Everyday, every night, more like: SPAM HIM!! (kidding)

3) POLITELY remind him of his Islamic obligations, and Islamic rulings and teachings when he does wrong every single time. And then forgive and forget.

4) Make rules like you'd make rules for your kids. Discuss with him how you wouldn't want him to stay out till late without a definite reason just like how he would expect from you.

5) Make yourself a better person and be patient. In Quran Allah says: And you say you believe and you won't be tested?

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It sounds like he enjoys getting some attention from other women, even if he does not mean to actually commit an infidelity, or engage in some kind of affair.

As others here have pointed out, is there anything you can do to improve the relationship? Is there something missing that he wants? Have you grown distant from each other? 

There is no guarantee that he will listen to reason and his faith, but when one is confronted with a large problem or crisis, the first thing he or she should do is figure out what can be done immediately, even if it is something small. Perhaps speak to someone at your mosque, or undertake marriage counseling?  

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Thank you all guys, it has been a very valuable experience to share this issue with you all and all the heart given advice and insight really helps me a lot. 

Personally I am doing much better thanks to you all.

May this Holy days of Muharram help us to come closer to the Ahlul Bayt and be guided by their nobility

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Salam Aleikum everyone,

More than a month passed and I wanted to give  update and ask you guys for some new advice...

our second child is born healty alhamdulillah and it is getting better. My husband did some effort to show us that he really cares about me and the kids and we had some talks. m

I can not say with complete certainity that he is completely open but it is better that before.  His cellphone is not locked anymore. he spends more time at home. 

I try not to be very suspicious and put my foccus on other things. 

what is still very difficult for me and I hope you can help me with this is that my heart is kind of broken, I thought I married my soulmate. I really married my husband out of love and because of his faith. 

but now after 2 years of marriage his behavioir is really not in line with Islam  and his personal practice is minimal. 

what did you guys do in periods where your love was getting lesser and less? 

I dont want to divorce because of the kids. but i do feel drained emotionally in this relation for now. 

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4 hours ago, yazahra333 said:

but now after 2 years of marriage his behavioir is really not in line with Islam  and his personal practice is minimal. 

what did you guys do in periods where your love was getting lesser and less? 

I dont want to divorce because of the kids. but i do feel drained emotionally in this relation for now. 

Congratulations on the birth of your baby. InShaAllah you do not suffer from postpartum depression, but please be careful to watch for signs of this. Do not make any hasty decision (such as divorce) while your hormones from pregnancy and childbirth are changing. Relax as much as possible and ask family and friends to come and see you. Let them help you do things around the house. Sister, I know you are still upset about your husband cheating. Ask him to help with the children. He should play with them and interact with them. Both of you should focus on your children. 

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