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laylacat

Can you do mutah over the phone/through text?

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salam!

me and my fiancé had a mutah contract for a year and it just finished so we need to renew. problem is he is hardly home. he is always working and it'd be easier to just call or text on his break and get it done. i just don't know if this is allowed. also is there a limit to how long you can make your contract? because i'm tempted to just say okay ten years lol and then when we make our marriage permanent that's fine. 

okay thank you! 

Edited by Haji 2003
mutah not mutant

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1 hour ago, laylacat said:

salam!

me and my fiancé had a mutant contract for a year and it just finished so we need to renew. problem is he is hardly home. he is always working and it'd be easier to just call or text on his break and get it done. i just don't know if this is allowed. also is there a limit to how long you can make your contract? because i'm tempted to just say okay ten years lol and then when we make our marriage permanent that's fine. 

okay thank you! 

Ayatollah Khamenei said its permissible to do it through phone or text.

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Yes phone call is fine. I'm not sure about text message.

No, there is no time limit. You can even say "99 years", knowing that it's unlikely that you will live that long, but if you're going to do that you may as well just permanently marry. (Unless you want the flexibility of mutah and don't care about inheritance.) 

But you really never see him? It only takes a minute. 

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On 9/11/2017 at 1:09 PM, notme said:

Yes phone call is fine. I'm not sure about text message.

No, there is no time limit. You can even say "99 years", knowing that it's unlikely that you will live that long, but if you're going to do that you may as well just permanently marry. (Unless you want the flexibility of mutah and don't care about inheritance.) 

But you really never see him? It only takes a minute. 

yeah we ended up just doing it in like five mins when he got home from work haha grabbed a texta and did a makeshift contract. set it for five years. yes we want to make it permanent but it costs too much for us atm and there's only one shia sheikh here who does marriages. i am financially independent so it's not a big deal from that aspect and we combine our money anyway but obviously nikah would be better and inshallah it'll happen very very soon. 

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12 hours ago, laylacat said:

yes we want to make it permanent but it costs too much for us atm and there's only one shia sheikh here who does marriages.

I was struck by this. Perhaps someone informed can comment.

But AIUI there are no (Islamic) costs associated with a marriage, unless you insist on a substantial dowry, and you don't need an imam/sheikh either.

Hall hire costs, ball gowns, pimp-my-ride vehicles and 8-course meals are all optional/cultural/look-at-me expenses.

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On 01/10/2017 at 1:19 AM, Haji 2003 said:

I was struck by this. Perhaps someone informed can comment.

But AIUI there are no (Islamic) costs associated with a marriage, unless you insist on a substantial dowry, and you don't need an imam/sheikh either.

Hall hire costs, ball gowns, pimp-my-ride vehicles and 8-course meals are all optional/cultural/look-at-me expenses.

really??? our sheikh charges like $200 for an islamic marriage. we don't want a 'wedding' - in terms of a western wedding. we just want to go with our witnesses and get married... i'll have to look into this more because it did strike me as odd that he charges for the islamic marriages... because then for people like me and my fiancé it makes it pretty hard to make it permanent and i would've thought he would want to make it as easy as possible because marriage is so important. 

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16 hours ago, laylacat said:

really??? our sheikh charges like $200 for an islamic marriage

My reading of the material here:

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2345/

suggests that having a priest is an optional extra.

Do read/ask around for a more informed opinion. But my understanding is that Islam can be far lower maintenance than other belief systems when it comes to things like marriage and funerals.

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On 18/10/2017 at 2:45 AM, Haji 2003 said:

My reading of the material here:

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2345/

suggests that having a priest is an optional extra.

Do read/ask around for a more informed opinion. But my understanding is that Islam can be far lower maintenance than other belief systems when it comes to things like marriage and funerals.

i'll take a look! thanks for sharing. honestly wouldn't surprise me if it was true. islam is so reasonable - that's partly what drew me to this religion and to revert. it's so practical and logical. 

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7 minutes ago, laylacat said:

what drew me to this religion and to revert. it's so practical and logical. 

Yes, it never ceases to amaze me that people criticise theists for irrational beliefs, yet when it comes to things like funerals the very same atheists will spend thousands of dollars on caskets or corteges and the living will be left with debts to pay for these benefits.

On the other hand I remember physically picking up the body of my aunt from a London hospital, driving her to the local cemetery and burying her for a sum of money that only included what we had to pay the local authorities and a small amount to the local imambara for the ghusl etc. but even the latter could have been done on a DIY basis. 

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Just now, Haji 2003 said:

Yes, it never ceases to amaze me that people criticise theists for irrational beliefs, yet when it comes to things like funerals the very same atheists will spend thousands of dollars on caskets or corteges and the living will be left with debts to pay for these benefits.

On the other hand I remember physically picking up the body of my aunt from a London hospital, driving her to the local cemetery and burying her for a sum of money that only included what we had to pay the local authorities and a small amount to the local imambara for the ghusl etc. but even the latter could have been done on a DIY basis. 

oh i totally agree with you! i mean same for weddings. my friends don't understand why i don't feel the need to have a western style wedding. all i want is to go and get married with a few people present to witness the ceremony. that's it. because marriage isn't about a flashy wedding. people get themselves into crazy money troubles because they spend 10,000 bucks on a wedding. why?? what's the difference if you have a massive expensive wedding or a low key ceremony? a wedding doesn't make a marriage. 

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On October 17, 2017 at 11:45 AM, Haji 2003 said:

My reading of the material here:

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2345/

suggests that having a priest is an optional extra.

Do read/ask around for a more informed opinion. But my understanding is that Islam can be far lower maintenance than other belief systems when it comes to things like marriage and funerals.

The secular authorities have now made burial an expensive proposition due to lobbying from the "death industry". Before that, everyone of any religion  just dug a hole.

I don't know why the cost of marriage licenses has gone to over $100 now instead of  the $25 when I was wed, but you can just skip the fiestas and just go to the Courthouse and get married for that if you want. Personal preference.

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2 hours ago, LeftCoastMom said:

The secular authorities have now made burial an expensive proposition due to lobbying from the "death industry".

I don't know about that. I do know that the desire to have an all singing and dancing coffin with a plush interior and metal handles is a matter of personal choice and not due to legislation. So is the use of horse drswn carriages. (I kid you not).

Muslims in Britain do perfectly well with coffins made of chipboard. Ideally we'd have nothing at all, but the legislation does require some form of coffin.

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^ lol. :sign_offtopic:Even without a singing, dancing coffin, you will spend far more than your wedding on permits, opening and closing fees, liners, vaults, and assorted other things the " cemetery associations" can require. Many folks just get cremated ( we defeated a proposed requirement to buy a coffin prior to cremation) to escape at least some of the fees. 

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