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It is narrated that the Holy Prophet once said:

ما بني بناء في الإسلام أحب إلى اللَّه عزّ وجلّ من التزويج

The Holy prophet says: "Indeed, there is no institution in Islam that has been built that is more beloved and dear to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى than the institution of marriage". But a successful marriage does not come merely from finding the right partner, but through being the right partner. There are three areas that we men need to focus on to become virtuous husbands. Marriage counsellors and psychologists identify these three elements as the 3 A's of a healthy relationship.

1. Affection

2. Appreciation

3. Attention

The virtuous husband is affectionate. Husbands often assume that their wives know that they love them. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) reminds us that this love has to be verbally affirmed on a regular basis. Rasoolallah (SAW) says:

قَوْلُ الرَّجُلِ لِلْمَرْأَةِ إِنِّي أُحِبُّكِ لَا يَذْهَبُ مِنْ قَلْبِهَا أَبَداً

When a husband says to his wive that I love you, indeed those words will never leave her heart. And for God's sake. Be romantic every once in a while. There is a hadith that the Holy Prophet (PBUH) would encourage to be romantic with their spouses. Rasoolallah says:

ان الرجل ليوجر في رفع اللقمة الئ في امراته

The Holy Prophet (PBUH) says: Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى rewards a man for placing food in the mouth of his wife. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى even rewards the man for this romantic gesture with his spouse. The virtuous husband is also appreciative. Husbands often take their spouses for granted. It is narrated that the late 'Allamah Tabataba'i, the author of the famous Tafseer ul-Mizaan, deeply appreciated the support system he found in his wife. He once said: "It was this woman who allowed me to reach this position. She has been my partner, and whatever books I have written, half of the credit belongs to her." 

And finally, the virtuous husband is attentive. In order to give attention to someone, you have to spend time with them. Time is the most valueable gift you can offer your wife. In a tradition from Rasoolallah (SAW), the Holy Prophet exhorted men to spend quality time with their spouses. Rasoolallah (SAW) says:

جلوس المرء عند عياله أحب إلى اللَّه تعالى من اعتكاف في مسجدي هذا

The Holy Prophet says: "A man sitting with his family is more beloved in the sight of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى than spending the night in worship in this mosque of mine". We ask Allah (AWJ) to give us towfeeq to be virtuous husbands, wa sallallahu ala Muhammad wa ala tahirin.

 

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As'salam Aleykum,

The Holy Prophet (S) said: "Allah, Almighty and Glorious, has said: 'Had I willed to gather the good of this world and the next for a Muslim believer, I would set for the one a humble heart, a thankful tongue, and a body patient in afflictions. (To a man I would give) a pious wife whom when he looks at he is delighted and who (she) protects herself and his properties for him when he is away from her."

Usul al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 327

Imam as-Sadiq (‘a) said: "Intensively is cursed (by Allah) the woman who hurts her husband and makes him grievous, but intensively is prosperous the woman who respects her husband and does not hurt him while she does obey him in all conditions."

Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 103, p. 252

The Holy Prophet (S) said: "Verily your best woman is she who is fertile, affectionate, keeps secrets, and is pious. She obeys her husband and is honourably dear among her kinsmen. When she is with her husband, she reveals her ornaments but conceals it from anyone other than him. She hearkens to his speech and obeys his commands. When she is in private, she dresses herself beautifully and is eager to offer him generously whatever he wants from her. She is usually ornamented (for him) and is not plain as men are."

Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 103, p. 235

 

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