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I am 31, physically fit and healthy person (hint:6 packs), athletic body and , alhmadulillah a high above-average income. I am married for last 5 years. I want to do Muta for the below reasons:

1- very high sex drive

2- my wife has become very fat. at the time of our marriage she was 46 kilograms and now she is 88 KG. imagine my situation... the attraction is ENDED totally

3- My wife has some psychological issues as well due to which there are a lot of troubles.

4- many pretty girls keep proposing me and flirting with me due to my good looks and a good social status.

If i do Muta with someone and we feel compatible enough for each other I can convert it into a permanent one.

what are your thoughts and suggestions for me. Please do not recommend fasting. I know that already.

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12 hours ago, molaayi_from_lahore said:

I am 31, physically fit and healthy person (hint:6 packs), athletic body and , alhmadulillah a high above-average income. I am married for last 5 years. I want to do Muta for the below reasons:

1- very high sex drive

2- my wife has become very fat. at the time of our marriage she was 46 kilograms and now she is 88 KG. imagine my situation... the attraction is ENDED totally

3- My wife has some psychological issues as well due to which there are a lot of troubles.

4- many pretty girls keep proposing me and flirting with me due to my good looks and a good social status.

If i do Muta with someone and we feel compatible enough for each other I can convert it into a permanent one.

what are your thoughts and suggestions for me. Please do not recommend fasting. I know that already.

Wow, you good looking, rich man, you deserve so much better. I am speechless.

Fear Allah swt. and get closer to Allah swt. Love is not about shape and replacing your wife as soon as she is not attractive for you anymore. Sad, very sad.. I am sorry for your wife.

May Allah swt. guide us all to the right path..

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Salam, 

Welcome back to SC. 

Have you told your wife that you don't find her attractive anymore, so much that you are contemplating second marriage? 

If it's the house chores that's keeping her from taking care of herself then get house help.

Edited by starlight
Typo

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Sorry, but you should very shallow!

Marriage isn't just about looks and an active sex life! It's about understanding and mutual respect!

You say she has psychological problems! Well, try helping her instead of just taking care of your own desires and needs!

You say you're good looking. You're very modest aren't you?!

Try being a little more humble and less judgemental to your wife. I think you should be ashamed of yourself!

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Although I find this brother's stance on his wife a bit extreme, I do partially symphatise with him. Some wifes don't look after themselves by gaining weight and ignoring their husband's urges for an intimate relationship and sex. What is the point of marriage if a wife becomes obese and she doesn't bother about her husband when he asks her to look good when he comes back from work. I am sure that husbands strongly advise their wives to exercise (and support them e g. by driving them to the gym)  but if they refuse to do so, what is the alternative?!

I would appreciate rational answers rather than emotional and defensive response to my comments. 

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12 hours ago, molaayi_from_lahore said:

I am 31, physically fit and healthy person (hint:6 packs), athletic body and , alhmadulillah a high above-average income. I am married for last 5 years. I want to do Muta for the below reasons:

1- very high sex drive

2- my wife has become very fat. at the time of our marriage she was 46 kilograms and now she is 88 KG. imagine my situation... the attraction is ENDED totally

3- My wife has some psychological issues as well due to which there are a lot of troubles.

4- many pretty girls keep proposing me and flirting with me due to my good looks and a good social status.

If i do Muta with someone and we feel compatible enough for each other I can convert it into a permanent one.

what are your thoughts and suggestions for me. Please do not recommend fasting. I know that already.

Salaam Alaykum

Brother, whatever you do, keep your children peaceful environment in priority. That is crucial, then you can think about yourself and your wife.

There is two sides here. One side is your wife that doesn't understand your needs apparently, and another one is you that you are not interested in her for reason of getting fat. If she is chubby now, she got chubby in her life with you. When she was attractive, she decided to be with you. Mutah and second marriage are absolutely your right, but wife can also ask for money for milking children and doing chores. If you want to open a door for yourself, open a door for her too. Avoid doing divorce with her for this reason. Rasu-ul-llah said:" Jebreil recommended me so much to respect women's rights. I thought it is Haram to divorce them". Talk with her more. Try to convince her that you have your needs. BTW, I am very serious and formal in my social relations that I never let random girls come to me and propose.

Inshaallah your problem would be solved

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To do Mut'a with non-Muslims while you are married to a Muslim women is impermissible to some maraji' (Sayed Sistani is one of them), and some maraji' (Sayed Khoei is one of them) allow it only with the permission of the wife.

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40 minutes ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Avoid doing divorce with her for this reason. Rasu-ul-llah said:" Jebreil recommended me so much to respect women's rights. I thought it is Haram to divorce them". Talk with her more. 

He is not planning to divorce her and in his culture, men abuse their wives by not giving divorce when their wives want divorce due to verbal, psychological and physical abuse. I am not trying to attack you, but the hadith you quoted might be for old times or for a culture in which men were not cunning and they were quick to divorce. Keeping a woman in an abusive marriage IS abuse. He is psychologically and verbally abusing her but he will not divorce her. I can assure you. 

Edited by rkazmi33

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Your wife may have become overweight due to depression..you said she suffers from "psychological problems".

Obviously, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, but maybe she hasn't received adequate attention from you, or something else is troubling her.

Have you tried finding out what is causing her psychological problems?

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12 hours ago, molaayi_from_lahore said:

I am 31, physically fit and healthy person (hint:6 packs), athletic body and , alhmadulillah a high above-average income. I am married for last 5 years. I want to do Muta for the below reasons:

1- very high sex drive

2- my wife has become very fat. at the time of our marriage she was 46 kilograms and now she is 88 KG. imagine my situation... the attraction is ENDED totally

3- My wife has some psychological issues as well due to which there are a lot of troubles.

4- many pretty girls keep proposing me and flirting with me due to my good looks and a good social status.

If i do Muta with someone and we feel compatible enough for each other I can convert it into a permanent one.

what are your thoughts and suggestions for me. Please do not recommend fasting. I know that already.

You're a grown man, you're free to do as you wish within the laws of Islam but be prepared for anything that may follow: wife wanting to divorce, kids, emotional baggage, potential partners who are nasty and give you trouble for a long time, and other things. With this being said, what you want isn't shallow, Allah put the love of women in men.

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Lahore,Pakistan??

Put yourself in your wife's place and think as the lady whose husband is trying to involve in someone else...??

You have options in shariyah but if you marry another then you must be just with both of them(in all means)..

And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].

An-Nisa

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2 hours ago, IbnMariam said:

You're a grown man, you're free to do as you wish within the laws of Islam but be prepared for anything that may follow: wife wanting to divorce, kids, emotional baggage, potential partners who are nasty and give you trouble for a long time, and other things. With this being said, what you want isn't shallow, Allah put the love of women in men.

Yes he's being shallow if he only cares for physical appearances!

His wife has her own problems which he appears to oblivious about! Or are you one of these patriarchal men who gives Islam a bad name? It might surprise you to learn that the world doesn't revolve around men and their " needs"!

We're only getting one side of the story. His one.

Maybe he's not a good husband towards her and she has her own grievances...?

Not everything is so black and white!

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2 minutes ago, kirtc said:

do mutaah.. to all those who say you are shallow.. they dont know what it feels like to be a man... Allah swt allowed it gor a reason and women should iund

Bring out the violins!

 

It's so difficult being a man..! You poor things..!

:hahaha:

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