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Afsaneh14

sister getting married.. in a different way

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I love the doctors on this site.

 

readers should realise, this is a case of mental health and a psychologically damaged person, that requires rehabilitation. The person is not corrupt or evil, they probably never had the luxuries you had or will have. There is no point in starting your day with the praise of your god as compassionate, when your own minds lack empathy and are self centered to compare evils done by choice to one who is searching for the mercy of mind, to find solace in being normal, while knowing life may never shines its rays on them.

We agree upon being strict and not allowing her to be emotionally manipulative due to her health, which may espouse a poor habit of reliance and lack of responsibility. Our responsibilities are to evoke solution finding not throwing out garbage, perhaps a refresher course on the religions that you all aspire to might assist. And asks your self this simple question, when you all commited sin, should not you all have been caste out and burnt in the depths of hell, yet your Gods took a pity on thou, and allowed respite, but how quick are we to condemn for own praise and safety from the oven.

 

Edited by monad

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15 hours ago, Afsaneh14 said:

brother do you think it will be useful to show her this once she recovers? how reliable is this information and is it thought provoking enough for her to at least understand?

You need to wait for a right moment. 

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40 minutes ago, monad said:

I love the doctors on this site.

 

readers should realise, this is a case of mental health and a psychologically damaged person, that requires rehabilitation. The person is not corrupt or evil, they probably never had the luxuries you had or will have. There is no point in starting your day with the praise of your god as compassionate, when your own minds lack empathy and are self centered to compare evils done by choice to one who is searching for the mercy of mind, to find solace in being normal, while knowing life may never shines its rays on them.

We agree upon being strict and not allowing her to be emotionally manipulative due to her health, which may espouse a poor habit of reliance and lack of responsibility. Our responsibilities are to evoke solution finding not throwing out garbage, perhaps a refresher course on the religions that you all aspire to might assist. And asks your self this simple question, when you all commited sin, should not you all have been caste out and burnt in the depths of hell, yet your Gods took a pity on thou, and allowed respite, but how quick are we to condemn for own praise and safety from the oven.

 

You've put this so beautifully, thank you. Everyone should read this post. 

The truth is that your sister is only like this because she has been extremely traumatized and wants to find a kind of "motherly" care and love through being with the same gender. Some people who are gay are that way because their connection with the same-sex parent has been destroyed wether through death of the parent, or not getting enough attention, or if the parent leaves. There's a cycle of thinking, "since my parent left me, then I must be unlovable, so if I learn to love someone of the same gender, then I will feel whole and complete and lovable again." Instead of condemning the person to hell, we must assist that person by

1. Making sure she attends her psychiatric appointments

2. Refrain from talking about religion NOW and waiting until the right time

3. She must seek intensive therapy because this a person who is psychologically traumatized and nothing more. In the words of my therapist, "you put the most stable and healthy person under enough pressure and even that person will break." 

We are not invincible. People who are healthy today may not be healthy tomorrow. How much do you think a 13 year old can take? Stating how orphans in other countries have it worse will never help because

1. You are undermining her feelings and the extent of the psychological trauma

2. You are not proving to be very empathic as people deal with trauma differently. 

I'm sure that if any of you lost both parents when you were young you would show a bit more compassion and probably make unhealthy choices yourself.

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1 hour ago, monad said:

I love the doctors on this site.

 

readers should realise, this is a case of mental health and a psychologically damaged person, that requires rehabilitation. The person is not corrupt or evil, they probably never had the luxuries you had or will have. There is no point in starting your day with the praise of your god as compassionate, when your own minds lack empathy and are self centered to compare evils done by choice to one who is searching for the mercy of mind, to find solace in being normal, while knowing life may never shines its rays on them.

We agree upon being strict and not allowing her to be emotionally manipulative due to her health, which may espouse a poor habit of reliance and lack of responsibility. Our responsibilities are to evoke solution finding not throwing out garbage, perhaps a refresher course on the religions that you all aspire to might assist. And asks your self this simple question, when you all commited sin, should not you all have been caste out and burnt in the depths of hell, yet your Gods took a pity on thou, and allowed respite, but how quick are we to condemn for own praise and safety from the oven.

 

honestly I am so lucky. nearly everyone has shown so much care support and open mindedness. it's only one or two people who are have shown that their minds are still in like 6th century Arabia, and believe they have the authority of God to judge us. but let them. Allah knows best

you have put this in the most beautiful way, than kyou. everyone please take note

Edited by Afsaneh14

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31 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

 

1 hour ago, monad said:

I love the doctors on this site.

 

readers should realise, this is a case of mental health and a psychologically damaged person, that requires rehabilitation. The person is not corrupt or evil, they probably never had the luxuries you had or will have. There is no point in starting your day with the praise of your god as compassionate, when your own minds lack empathy and are self centered to compare evils done by choice to one who is searching for the mercy of mind, to find solace in being normal, while knowing life may never shines its rays on them.

We agree upon being strict and not allowing her to be emotionally manipulative due to her health, which may espouse a poor habit of reliance and lack of responsibility. Our responsibilities are to evoke solution finding not throwing out garbage, perhaps a refresher course on the religions that you all aspire to might assist. And asks your self this simple question, when you all commited sin, should not you all have been caste out and burnt in the depths of hell, yet your Gods took a pity on thou, and allowed respite, but how quick are we to condemn for own praise and safety from the oven.

 

You've put this so beautifully, thank you. Everyone should read this post. 

The truth is that your sister is only like this because she has been extremely traumatized and wants to find a kind of "motherly" care and love through being with the same gender. Some people who are gay are that way because their connection with the same-sex parent has been destroyed wether through death of the parent, or not getting enough attention, or if the parent leaves. There's a cycle of thinking, "since my parent left me, then I must be unlovable, so if I learn to love someone of the same gender, then I will feel whole and complete and lovable again." Instead of condemning the person to hell, we must assist that person by

1. Making sure she attends her psychiatric appointments

2. Refrain from talking about religion NOW and waiting until the right time

3. She must seek intensive therapy because this a person who is psychologically traumatized and nothing more. In the words of my therapist, "you put the most stable and healthy person under enough pressure and even that person will break." 

We are not invincible. People who are healthy today may not be healthy tomorrow. How much do you think a 13 year old can take? Stating how orphans in other countries have it worse will never help because

1. You are undermining her feelings and the extent of the psychological trauma

2. You are not proving to be very empathic as people deal with trauma differently. 

I'm sure that if any of you lost both parents when you were young you would show a bit more compassion and probably make unhealthy choices yourself.

 

this is really helpful sis thanks so much xxx

I find it so disgusting that people think it is ok to undermine someone's feeling like that.

like I said, she has been missing her psyc sessions, which clearly made her worse. in terms of the gay aspect, the psychiatrist herself is a lesbian, as she explained to me. she will only encourage her to be gay by saying your depressed because you are in the closet.... but I just want her to get better, through any means.  

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2 minutes ago, Afsaneh14 said:

honestly I am so lucky. nearly everyone has shown so much care support and open mindedness. it's only one or two people who are have shown that their minds are still in like 6th century Arabia, and believe they have the authority of God to judge us. but let them. Allah knows best

Do you have any muslim psychiatrist over there? 

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Just now, Ron_Burgundy said:

Do you have any muslim psychiatrist over there? 

honestly, not that I know of, however I will try my best to look. my only problem is that I will have to find a private psychiatrist, and that costs a lot of money, which I may not be able to afford. right now we are using the NHS service, so it is currently free

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1 minute ago, Afsaneh14 said:

this is really helpful sis thanks so much xxx

I find it so disgusting that people think it is ok to undermine someone's feeling like that.

like I said, she has been missing her psyc sessions, which clearly made her worse. in terms of the gay aspect, the psychiatrist herself is a lesbian, as she explained to me. she will only encourage her to be gay by saying your depressed because you are in the closet.... but I just want her to get better, through any means.  

I agree first priority should be her health when she is better and will be doing well you could discuss her sexuality, but i doubt that she is going to listen to you. You could pray for her tho... I know a person who was married to a beautiful woman after 18 years of marriage he realized that he is not into women anymore so he filed for divorce and now he is gay. 

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Just now, Ron_Burgundy said:

after 18 years of marriage he realized that he is not into women anymore so he filed for divorce and now he is gay.

I cannot imagine what that poor woman must be going through. may Allah protect us all

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Just now, Afsaneh14 said:

honestly, not that I know of, however I will try my best to look. my only problem is that I will have to find a private psychiatrist, and that costs a lot of money, which I may not be able to afford. right now we are using the NHS service, so it is currently free

I thought medical is free in UK.... I don't knwo how it works there but if you could find a decent psychiatrist in your network you should consider him/her.

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1 minute ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

I agree first priority should be her health when she is better and will be doing well you could discuss her sexuality, but i doubt that she is going to listen to you. You could pray for her tho... I know a person who was married to a beautiful woman after 18 years of marriage he realized that he is not into women anymore so he filed for divorce and now he is gay. 

Astaghfurullah Rabi watub alaih 

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Just now, Ron_Burgundy said:

I thought medical is free in UK.... I don't knwo how it works there but if you could find a decent psychiatrist in your network you should consider him/her.

only medical care from the National health service. however you can choose private care as well, but you have to pay for that. If anyone knows any muslim psychiatrists in the UK please tell me. I am willing to consider any option

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1 minute ago, Afsaneh14 said:

only medical care from the National health service. however you can choose private care as well, but you have to pay for that. If anyone knows any muslim psychiatrists in the UK please tell me. I am willing to consider any option

Just for your knowledge... I am not recommending anything here but there is a shock therapy I know someone who does that... so they make you watch gay clips and give you shock and i have heard after couple of sessions you will start hating homosexual acts. 

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Just now, Ron_Burgundy said:

Just for your knowledge... I am not recommending anything here but there is a shock therapy I know someone who does that... so they make you watch gay clips and give you shock and i have heard after couple of sessions you will start hating homosexual acts. 

know I don't believe in these therapies personally. I just think they are so morally wrong to put someone through physical pain, when they are clearly already experiencing emotional pain.

also from what I have heard they hardly ever actually wrote. and the likeliness that they offer it here in the UK is really low. probably have to go to Iran or something

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1 minute ago, Afsaneh14 said:

know I don't believe in these therapies personally. I just think they are so morally wrong to put someone through physical pain, when they are clearly already experiencing emotional pain.

also from what I have heard they hardly ever actually wrote. and the likeliness that they offer it here in the UK is really low. probably have to go to Iran or something

Actually thats a good idea you should take her to iran just for visiting tho. Imam Reza (a.s) could show you a miracle. 

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1 minute ago, Afsaneh14 said:

only medical care from the National health service. however you can choose private care as well, but you have to pay for that. If anyone knows any muslim psychiatrists in the UK please tell me. I am willing to consider any option

Sister, I am not sure if you studied recent reports where I read that "gay genes" are lies. 

Just like a human can be molded into criminal, a person can be made to psychologically kidnapped. 

That's how terrorists are made.

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Just now, Ron_Burgundy said:

Actually thats a good idea you should take her to iran just for visiting tho. Imam Reza (a.s) could show you a miracle. 

yes defo. the only problem is that usually when we go to iran we stay with family- but now that family will, undoubtedly, not want to even consider our existence because of what happened. sadly ziyarah packages now a days are so expensive

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Just now, Afsaneh14 said:

yes defo. the only problem is that usually when we go to iran we stay with family- but now that family will, undoubtedly, not want to even consider our existence because of what happened. sadly ziyarah packages now a days are so expensive

@repenter any suggestions for our sister here?

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2 minutes ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

Actually thats a good idea you should take her to iran just for visiting tho. Imam Reza (a.s) could show you a miracle. 

yes defo. the only problem being we always go to iran really cheap, as my family lives there and we stay with them and they take us around ziyarah etc. now that this has happened, family will undoubtedly not even consider our existence, let alone let us travel. we will have to go in a group, and ziyarah packages are expensive. but inshaallah we will be able to go

I really can't wait for Muharram. I feel like it will be a massive milestone for her. for me, muharram is a month of solace

 

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5 minutes ago, Sindbad05 said:

Sister, I am not sure if you studied recent reports where I read that "gay genes" are lies. 

Just like a human can be molded into criminal, a person can be made to psychologically kidnapped. 

That's how terrorists are made.

I sent her a PDF which says that there is no scientific proof for gay gene.

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2 hours ago, Afsaneh14 said:

Yess she already is having pschiatry treatment. I met with her psychiatrist yesterday, as it turned out she herself has not been attending sessions. And just my luck this psychiatrist happens to be a lesbian herself- she told me about her partner, who went through something similar. So hooray ! Just wonderful

Okay, this is most likely where things went wrong. After looking at some movies, reading things, and just reflecting upon this over the past few years, i have come to the understanding and opinion that this is a very dangerous area, which needs to be fully and deeply looked at by muslims. Yes i am talking about these normal psychiatrists. Most of the people are non muslims who have their own belief systems completely opposite to islam. I personally know of a young lady in the mid 20's who started seeing a non muslim psychiatrist. The young lady more or less has left Islam. 

I saw a movie about a psychiatrist as well, there was some lesbianism in that. I'm sorry but i don't know how these people could 'fix' people, they have their own demons and the only thing i can think they'd do is push their world view and opinions on anyone else. 

I am not ruling out psychiatrists, but i would only ever send a loved one who needed one to a Muslim psychiatrist of the same gender. Never to a non muslim.  

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17 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

https://concernedwomen.org/images/content/bornorbred.pdf

 

And right now she should be your priority don't discuss anything with her. Try to be friendly with her and show your love and don't discuss anything. 

@Sindbad05 here you go. 

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1 minute ago, YAli said:

Okay, this is most likely where things went wrong. After looking at some movies, reading things, and just reflecting upon this over the past few years, i have come to the understanding and opinion that this is a very dangerous area, which needs to be fully and deeply looked at by muslims. Yes i am talking about these normal psychiatrists. Most of the people are non muslims who have their own belief systems completely opposite to islam. I personally know of a young lady in the mid 20's who started seeing a non muslim psychiatrist. The young lady more or less has left Islam. 

I saw a movie about a psychiatrist as well, there was some lesbianism in that. I'm sorry but i don't know how these people could 'fix' people, they have their own demons and the only thing i can think they'd do is push their world view and opinions on anyone else. 

I am not ruling out psychiatrists, but i would only ever send a loved one who needed one to a Muslim psychiatrist of the same gender. Never to a non muslim.  

If only I had known about this before. the thing is I also had a psychiatrist who was also non-muslim but the only thing she did was prescribe medication, maybe the occasional bit of advice and check up on me every now and then to see if I was still alive

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