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Messenger313

Boys please help I don't know what to do(boys only

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Wa 'alaykum assalam brother,

Not to be overly pessimistic, but if you know that it is a sin and are feeling guilty and remorseful about doing it, I'm not sure what advice people here could give you.

The topic has been discussed many times before,  have a read through the other threads, perhaps you will find what you are looking for.

Good luck in sha' Allah 

Edited by Ali_Hussain

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W Salam

It's lack of will power, like any other addiction.

You have to work on will power, indirectly and step by step. The best way to boost your will power gradually is by praying your daily prayers on time.

It's like climbing a mountain, the first step and the second, then the next, and never let go of it.

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Salam aleikum brother. 

This is a big big problem that men face, especially if non married. The obvious solution is getting married, but thats sometimes out of the question, for ex. due to the age of the individual etc. I would advise you to search on the internet (youtube for example) "how to stop masturbating" etc. 

Start right now and track your progress every day.

Also, I've realized that mainstream media is extremely sexualising, nowadays everywhere you surf on the internet whether you'd be innocently scrolling down a Facebook/Instagram page or watching a series on Netflix, there is almost every time something sexual. 

Shaytan tempts you step by step, do not be fooled by this. Keep away from anything that may make you fall into masturbation. 

Inshallah you will overcome this act. 

 

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5 hours ago, Messenger313 said:

Salaam alaikum dear brothers in Islam I need help I masturbate but then I ask for forgiveness but then I do it again what do I do please help will Allah forgive me???

You've got to treat this like a battle:

1. In the long term, try to begin to get ready for marriage, by looking after yourself in terms of your mental, physical and spiritual aspects. Work hard and begin the path.

2. Post Quran verses in your room, never be on a computer when you are alone but rather try to be on one when you are in a public gathering [as often as is possible].

3. Lower your gaze at all times. This includes news anchors, people at the store. Although exercise sense with this as well - don't go into any extremes here. 

4. That desire is strong, and you need to replace it with another emotion that is stronger. Think - what is powerful for you? What feeling do you have that overrides the feeling or emotion of doing the act?

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Brother Jebreil made a very effective point when he said watch the lamentations of imam Hussain [as] because you replace one intense emotion with another.

It can be a dua, a powerful speech, a memory, anything you can try to muster and bring and call on.

That must be as powerful.

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On 01/07/2017 at 1:35 PM, Messenger313 said:

Salaam alaikum dear brothers in Islam I need help I masturbate but then I ask for forgiveness but then I do it again what do I do please help will Allah forgive me???

Allah will forgive you for every sin except Shirk. Dont give up hope for Allahs mercy no matter how many times you did it because giving up on Allahs mercy is the Second Greatest sin. Pray to Allah. Supplicate, beg for his forgiveness and to take you out of your situation, for him to cure your problem. Supplicate many times a day. Supplication is the shield against the Shaitan. I would not recommend fasting but that is a common option. You have to put your full heart in seeking Allahs forgiveness. Also try not to commit other sins as you are in a difficult situation. Remind yourself that committing such a Major Sin like this weakens the body, hardens the heart and increases heart disease. 

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On 2017-07-02 at 2:14 AM, Jebreil said:

بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم

السلام علیکم

 

Post up verses of the Koran all over your room. Never close the door to your room except when you need to dress. Never be in the house on your own; the times when the house is empty should be strictly outdoor, mosque or gym-time. Call mosque-friends when circumstance forces you to be alone. Attend as many congregational prayers as possible and make friends with other regulars and discuss interests. Study in a public place, and in a library if you need peace and quiet. Fast for the first month of trying to quit. Dedicate one day a week to an hour's listening to lamentations of al-Husayn علیه الصلوة و السلام and another day to reading a few hadith about the Awaited Imam here, praying to be his companion. Every time you feel an urge at home, curse loudly the devil for deviating the system from youthful marriage to celibacy, then punch a punchbag (yes, buy one if you really want to get rid of this awful habit) and punch till you are totally totally tired, then thank Allah for saving energy, which could have been wasted in sin and weakening of the will, and spending it instead on strengthening your muscle and your will. Shower in lukewarm (not hot) water and only when someone is in the house and immediately after eating a full meal (the Hadith caution against Hammam with a full stomach, but a hammam is a long steamy session, whereas what is being recommended here is a quick lukewarm shower. Knowing the bad effects on your health of a long hot bath on a full stomach should motivate you to do it properly.)

Do this for 4 months, avoiding anything that seems sexual, by lowering your gaze and refusing to listen to dirty songs. Persons have found that Dua Tawassul has helped in finding a spouse. Pray it every Friday. A Muslim is pure and this act makes you dirty; that's why you feel guilty. By escaping this heat of the solitary flesh you will feel clean again.

 

PM me in 4 months from the date you have started and tell me if you've done all these things. All of them must be done. Inshallah, after the 4 month period, it all becomes much much much easier.

 

Personally, and this might be a little controversial, I am for exploring the idea of several young mosque-attending men with some but slight difference in age being close enough to be open about their weaknesses (without admitting they are failing, which might be a sin) and to motivate each other and to give each other company out of duty whenever any one of them is feeling emotionally lonely and sexually frustrated. All this has to be strictly confidential to that group. The reason is simple. Active faithful friends are the healthiest distraction, and hormones need distraction unto sleep more than anything else.

و علیکم السلام

I started yesterday thank u so much Jazak Allah

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On 2017-07-02 at 2:14 AM, Jebreil said:

بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم

السلام علیکم

 

Post up verses of the Koran all over your room. Never close the door to your room except when you need to dress. Never be in the house on your own; the times when the house is empty should be strictly outdoor, mosque or gym-time. Call mosque-friends when circumstance forces you to be alone. Attend as many congregational prayers as possible and make friends with other regulars and discuss interests. Study in a public place, and in a library if you need peace and quiet. Fast for the first month of trying to quit. Dedicate one day a week to an hour's listening to lamentations of al-Husayn علیه الصلوة و السلام and another day to reading a few hadith about the Awaited Imam here, praying to be his companion. Every time you feel an urge at home, curse loudly the devil for deviating the system from youthful marriage to celibacy, then punch a punchbag (yes, buy one if you really want to get rid of this awful habit) and punch till you are totally totally tired, then thank Allah for saving energy, which could have been wasted in sin and weakening of the will, and spending it instead on strengthening your muscle and your will. Shower in lukewarm (not hot) water and only when someone is in the house and immediately after eating a full meal (the Hadith caution against Hammam with a full stomach, but a hammam is a long steamy session, whereas what is being recommended here is a quick lukewarm shower. Knowing the bad effects on your health of a long hot bath on a full stomach should motivate you to do it properly.)

Do this for 4 months, avoiding anything that seems sexual, by lowering your gaze and refusing to listen to dirty songs. Persons have found that Dua Tawassul has helped in finding a spouse. Pray it every Friday. A Muslim is pure and this act makes you dirty; that's why you feel guilty. By escaping this heat of the solitary flesh you will feel clean again.

 

PM me in 4 months from the date you have started and tell me if you've done all these things. All of them must be done. Inshallah, after the 4 month period, it all becomes much much much easier.

 

Personally, and this might be a little controversial, I am for exploring the idea of several young mosque-attending men with some but slight difference in age being close enough to be open about their weaknesses (without admitting they are failing, which might be a sin) and to motivate each other and to give each other company out of duty whenever any one of them is feeling emotionally lonely and sexually frustrated. All this has to be strictly confidential to that group. The reason is simple. Active faithful friends are the healthiest distraction, and hormones need distraction unto sleep more than anything else.

و علیکم السلام

Thank u so much for the advice

 

On 2017-07-02 at 2:26 AM, Intellectual Resistance said:

You've got to treat this like a battle:

1. In the long term, try to begin to get ready for marriage, by looking after yourself in terms of your mental, physical and spiritual aspects. Work hard and begin the path.

2. Post Quran verses in your room, never be on a computer when you are alone but rather try to be on one when you are in a public gathering [as often as is possible].

3. Lower your gaze at all times. This includes news anchors, people at the store. Although exercise sense with this as well - don't go into any extremes here. 

4. That desire is strong, and you need to replace it with another emotion that is stronger. Think - what is powerful for you? What feeling do you have that overrides the feeling or emotion of doing the act?

Thank u so much for the ad

 

On 2017-07-01 at 8:53 PM, Ali_Hussain said:

Wa 'alaykum assalam brother,

Not to be overly pessimistic, but if you know that it is a sin and are feeling guilty and remorseful about doing it, I'm not sure what advice people here could give you.

The topic has been discussed many times before,  have a read through the other threads, perhaps you will find what you are looking for.

Good luck in sha' Allah 

Inshallah thank you so much 

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