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Al Hadi

Should I drop out of college?

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I have been thinking I want to drop out of college. I HATE IT. My mom is mostly forcing me to be honest at this point I sort of don't care about what my punishment is I seriously don't want to go. I'm tired honestly of seeing girls in tiny shorts and struggling with sexual desires with so many opportunities to sin. I hate just wishing for mutahs and having to kill myself to not have a lustful gaze at a nonmahram. 

And I feel no passion for it I just don't have any motivation as a student. I just feel it's just brainwashing except for the math and hard sciences(but that is boring to me and im not interested in that) in the social sciences  they practically push secularism, social Marxism, feminism, zoinist political though and immorality. Ya not every class has all of that but I dare you to show me one social studies class that doesn't at least have one of those things it's super rare. 

Also the idea of me sitting down and reading and writing for 4 years straight. I mean am I the only one bothered by that? I can learn all of that stuff or at least the good majority of it by using the internet. That's how I learned about many things I learned part of my geometry class like that and partly how to use excel and Islam, shia islam. 

Many people who are rich now didn't Graduate college two of them mark zuckerburg, and  bill gates I believe. So it just goes to show you don't need it to have money. I'm fine barely surviving and working hard I just don't think I can continue to waste my time with this.

 

anyways what do you guys think? 

Edited by Al Hadi

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What would you do instead? 

Or "what do you want to do when you grow up?"

If the main issue is scantily clad women, I'm afraid those are everywhere, probably more among less educated populations. If you don't want to study what you are studying then you need to do some introspection. 

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19 minutes ago, notme said:

What would you do instead? 

Or "what do you want to do when you grow up?"

If the main issue is scantily clad women, I'm afraid those are everywhere, probably more among less educated populations. If you don't want to study what you are studying then you need to do some introspection. 

Your right. I just feel like working. Honestly. 

As for the women I suppose your right they are everywhere but it's just different in college cause at least where I live young girls are not everywhere. there are also other details like parties and stuff like that. Not that I do any of that but it just makes the environment a lot more prone towards lust.

i sometimes feel like hawza studies or just maybe taking a brake and doing self improvement or just working then trying to build skill and start a family. I don't know. But I just hate being forced into college. I told my mom I will leave after sophomore year if I don't have a degree in mind.

 

Edited by Al Hadi

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Man I think it is a big decision and not wise to suddenly quit. Maybe take a gap year or semester where you give yourself a bit time and try something different then, like get a job or volunteer etc because sometimes you just need a break and some time to get your motivation back.

There are a lot of fields to specialize in, try something different which might be more interesting. Regardless of what you specialize in, you will have to go through boring theory. For example, studying engineering does sometimes bore me to hell, but I assure myself that when i start working the practical side won't be too bad.

With regards to the girls, well in a western society that is what we all expect.

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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Why not see what kinds of job training programs are available? You can do your second year of university in the daytime, and train for skilled work between classes or in the evening. That will set you up better than just taking any unskilled job. 

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You can try to avoid the opportunity to commit sin by changing your environment whilst remaining a student. Here in the UK, universities often have single gender accommodation - it would be a very bad idea to live in mixed accommodation because the opportunity for sin is much more. Try to speak minimally with non-mahrams also.

Find good friends and try not to associate with those people who get up to these bad actions.

Keep fighting against your desires - engage in beneficial practices like fasting. 

Edited by silasun

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Brother I hate high school too. But we will do so much more for the Ummah as educated people.

As for girls.... they drive me crazy. I swear I do not look, but when someone says my name I have some kind of reflex to just look at them right away. And they are usually in front of me spreading rumours about me, so I end up looking at them.

And then I hear people say "religion is so dumb, it is triggering how they are so ignorant." I asked him if he had bothered to read up on any philosophy or theology. I usually get weird faces, insults or responses that involve fire, trees and the wild. 

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3 hours ago, Al Hadi said:

And I feel no passion for it I just don't have any motivation as a student. I just feel it's just brainwashing except for the math and hard sciences(but that is boring to me and im not interested in that) in the social sciences  they practically push secularism, social Marxism, feminism, zoinist political though and immorality.

Yeah man me neither. I am a very smart person, but there is no room for me. If I talk about religion or philosophy, I get weird stares from my teachers. It is so scary. One time a teacher almost punched my friend int he face (no joke). His veins were bulging out of his forehead and he had his fist clenched. Apparently I was spreading rumours, lying, slandering and decieving a younger student??? I am still overall confused about it :hahaha:

I am actually friends with one feminist with whom I have interesting debates with. I always am sureounded by others and never look directly at her, but I have learned a lot. One thing is, that feminists often do not have proof to support their claims. For example, in all Muslim countries women do not have political power, yet Iran's environmental minister is female. There are many more...

Their immorality is a joke. I usually laugh during "gender seminars." And by laugh, I mean legitimately lose myself. The only bad part is everyone knows I am religious so at the end our teacher will always say something like "religion is the main cause of prejudice.." or something like that.

Most classes are a joke bro. Just enjoy the ride......

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brther, why not go to a boys only college, yes try hawza studies, at least that will give you a goal, or even transfer to a muslim country where they will not allow girls to wear such things.im glad youre strong enough to say i dont want to go, did your mom shout at you tho?

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22 minutes ago, Mansur Bakhtiari said:

Yeah man me neither. I am a very smart person, but there is no room for me. If I talk about religion or philosophy, I get weird stares from my teachers. It is so scary. One time a teacher almost punched my friend int he face (no joke). His veins were bulging out of his forehead and he had his fist clenched. Apparently I was spreading rumours, lying, slandering and decieving a younger student??? I am still overall confused about it :hahaha:

I am actually friends with one feminist with whom I have interesting debates with. I always am sureounded by others and never look directly at her, but I have learned a lot. One thing is, that feminists often do not have proof to support their claims. For example, in all Muslim countries women do not have political power, yet Iran's environmental minister is female. There are many more...

Their immorality is a joke. I usually laugh during "gender seminars." And by laugh, I mean legitimately lose myself. The only bad part is everyone knows I am religious so at the end our teacher will always say something like "religion is the main cause of prejudice.." or something like that.

Most classes are a joke bro. Just enjoy the ride......

then if youre in canada, why stay in it?why even stay in toronto, if youre from there? i dont know where u live, just leave

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Don't drop out. Try to extract the maximum benefit from your studies. Even the classes that push social Marxism and the like are a good opportunity to better understand this worldview. It's important to understand the views of those you disagree with, and makes you better at responding to them. Getting a degree gives you options in future that not having one won't allow you. It's true that you can learn most things by yourself, but that's not really why you are in college. It's to get that certificate at the end of it, and if you learn anything along the way, it's a bonus.

As for the struggle with your sexual desires, then that is an almost unavoidable part of being young, Perhaps being in the West makes it worse, but to some extent it would be the same anywhere. There is no escape for you unless you can get married (either permanently or temporarily).

Edited by Haydar Husayn

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1 hour ago, sidnaq said:

brther, why not go to a boys only college, yes try hawza studies, at least that will give you a goal, or even transfer to a muslim country where they will not allow girls to wear such things.im glad youre strong enough to say i dont want to go, did your mom shout at you tho?

She was about to Lol. But I spoke calmly. I could tell she was angry but when she said to go essentially  I just walked away and said in two years if I get no degree in mind I'm leaving university just letting you know.

Edited by Al Hadi

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31 minutes ago, sidnaq said:

oh i see, im sorry for the way i spoke JazakAllah

Though I would like to Inshallah move when I graduate. I just have no idea where. My best option is Iran, but I don't know what I can do in that country without a degree.

Degrees enable you to a lot more opportunities.

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@ali_fatheroforphans, @Mansur Bakhtiari @Haydar Husayn

@silasun

Don't you guys feel though that if I didn't have university in the way getting married would be so much easier. 

And why does everyone make mutah sound like it's such an easy option? "Just do a mutah" I mean how. If it's not good to speak to nonmahrams then how are we supposed to even do mutah. i wish it was easier to practice like their was like some kind of system idk. 

What is your guys advice is it easy to do mutah where you guys live? Or you guys don't really worry about it? 

 

 

Edited by Al Hadi

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Yeah @Al Hadi, brave it like so many other SC'ers. Imagine how much of a drag life must have been for Rasul Allah (saw). Jahil Arabs were WAAAY worse than modern day feminazis. We're not the only ones who have, had or will have it bad.

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1 minute ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

I agree with Haydar, don't drop out, that's not good enough. Just try your best to pay no mind to them and don't disappoint your mom.

I'm sure I'm not going to make my mother happy with every decision I make in my life. We are two different people right now unfortunately. 

I do try my best but it's painful and I know it's something that many go through but you know what sometimes I just feel like being the one to stand up and not take it. Find a solution like get married super early. Like go to hawza and fix myself up cause I feel I'm doing really bad.

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4 minutes ago, Al Hadi said:

@ali_fatheroforphans, @Mansur Bakhtiari @Haydar Husayn

@silasun

Don't you guys feel though that if I didn't have university in the way getting married would be so much easier. 

And why does everyone make mutah sound like it's such an easy option? "Just do a mutah" I mean how. If it's not good to speak to nonmahrams then how are we supposed to even do mutah. i wish it was easier to practice like their was like some kind of system idk. 

What is your guys advice is it easy to do mutah where you guys live? Or you guys don't really worry about it? 

How would dropping out of college make marriage easier?

As for mut`a, no it's not the easy option some like to suggest it is. You are allowed to speak to non mahrams though, as long as you have the right intention. Otherwise getting married would be incredibly hard.

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8 minutes ago, Haydar Husayn said:

How would dropping out of college make marriage easier?

As for mut`a, no it's not the easy option some like to suggest it is. You are allowed to speak to non mahrams though, as long as you have the right intention. Otherwise getting married would be incredibly hard.

Well in my situation my mom is the type that says don't get married till you Finnish school(although maybe I could get her to change her mind maybe if I showed her I was more responsible)Plus I could take on a full time job move up slowly in the corporate ladder by building work experience and learning job skills. Then also I would have my own place sooner. So ideally marraige would happen quicker and would possibly be easier.

I know I'm allowed to talk to them but it's discouraged. and going to talk to a girl cause I want a mutah is idk strange(I might look desperate). I would probably still do it though cause It's better then possibly doing sins. I just wish their were some kind of like mutah pick up artist techniques or like mutah match maker worked better its kind of horrible. Like maybe a nice app. And it doesn't have to be called mutah. 

Edited by Al Hadi

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1 hour ago, sidnaq said:

brther, why not go to a boys only college, yes try hawza studies, at least that will give you a goal, or even transfer to a muslim country where they will not allow girls to wear such things.im glad youre strong enough to say i dont want to go, did your mom shout at you tho?

Hmm transfer to Muslim country not a horrible idear. I might see the possibilities.

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