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University questions

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Salam, Hope you are doing well. 

 

I have had several months to think about my 2 options regarding uni, however I still havent come to a conclusion. My mind seems to be in a state of war at the moment, because both options have their pros and cons. I have no idea which one will benefit me more in the longterm. Iam scared of choosing an option and then regretting it later on. Its all I think about these days and the more I think, the more I get confused. 

Here are the two options available for me : 

1. Go to the Univeristy that's in my town and keep living at home. 

2. Move to a different city so I can study at a Uni that I really want to go to. 

1st option : 

Pros:

  1.  less living costs.
  2. my parents would not have to worry about me living alone in a different city. So they'll be much happier if I go for the first option. 

Cons

  I am getting fed up of living in this boring town and It makes me sad/demotivated even thinking about spending another 3 years of my life here. 

 

2nd option :

Pros

  1.  I will be a much happier person living in a city of my choice and studying there. It will also give me a nice change from my current enviroment/routine(which has become repetitive and dull.)
  2. it will allow me to become more independant and mature. 
  3.  There will also be alot of muslims in that uni so It will give me a sense of belonging. (which is not the case for my first option) 

Cons 

  1. living costs will be high . So I will have to work part-time and  I might also have to keep asking for money from my parents. 
  2.  my parents are not comfortable with the idea of me living in halls of residence at the Uni I want to go to. So if I choose the 2nd option, they will be renting a room for me in a muslim family's house who they can trust. However the search for this alternative accomodation will be quite a hassle. (Because it's an hour drive to that city and there aren't many accommodations available for muslim students near the uni I wanna go to). 

Any opinions/advice will be much appreciated.

Thanks.

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Are the universities different in terms of ranking? If they are I would suggest you go with the higher ranking university as it can possibly give you more job prospects. If they are not you can go to both. Register at your hometown university and apply to go on exchange after a couple of semesters. If you don't have an exchange program you can check which credits are transferable between universities. That way you can study at the university you want to be at for a couple of semester and transfer your credits back to your hometown university or vice versa. This will help you get a feel of both universities & help reduce the cost burden on yourself and on your parents.

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I faced the exact same dilemma when it came to choosing universities, except that the other city is 24 hours away by train.

The real question is this: Would a solid base and support provided by your parents be of greater assistance in helping you grow or would you be better off learning on your own. 

The first step is a cost-benefits analysis. The thing to take note of is the difference in educational standards, not simply a change of environment. How different are the two options? Will going to option 2 result in a significantly better outcome?  Not simply in terms of "new place/more excitement/not dull" but actual gains like better social connections, better faculty, labs, facilities etc? 

Have you observed the "Muslim culture" you want to become a part of? Is it really that good? Because the grass only appears greener on the other side. In my case the trade-off would not have been worth it; hostel life isn't really that great, especially if you have to work part-time. Have you visited this university? Met with students there? Are your ideas motivated by desire or evidence?

How bad is the local option? And in what terms?

A change in environment could help you grow as an individual; learning to be independent is really important and could all be worth it. But it'll require self-regulation and motivation on a daily basis. A lot of students I know, far from home, appear unable to take advantage of the freedom on offer. They spend their days shuttling between classes and dorm, with nothing else to do. Make sure you don't become one of them.

You're the best person to answer these questions. 

 

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1 hour ago, Anonymous said:

I have had several months to think about my 2 options regarding uni, however I still havent come to a conclusion.

Just my opinion - I would choose Option 1 if studying is your primary motivation assuming both Unis are similar

Reasons:

  1. No financial stress
  2. Parents content
  3. Ample time to study since it is a boring town.

Primary reason to not choose Option 2 is that a big city comes with distractions. They lead away from studies and then bad grades, bad job, etc, etc, etc.

Study hard, get good grades, enjoy home food - graduate with flying colors and then the world is your oyster.

 

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I am not really going to Uni because I like studying. Im only going because my parents want me to study further and also because there is nothing else to do with life apart from studying and working. If I choose not to go to uni, my parents will probably start thinking about getting me married earlier than planned,  which I definately dont want.

So although I will try my best to succeed academically, studying alone will not be enough of a motivator for me. The problem with my town is that its not multicutual, and I have always wished to be amongst people from all kinds of races and religion. That way, I will have a better social life than the one I have here. 

Ranking-wise, both unis are similar in that sense so im not too bothered by it. 

Thank you to everyone who has replied so far. May Allah bless you. :) 

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If your relationship with your parents is strong and you don't fear straying from Islam, in my opinion you should go to the distant university. It appears that you need to find your own path, not so much under pressure from your parents. 

If you do stay at the nearby university, I recommend having a job anyway, and working toward self sufficiency. Maybe get an apartment of your own in the same town if possible.

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Universities are academic.  If you are just concerned with graduating for the sake of it to get a job then the first couple of semester might hit you very hard.  It is difficult to do well without having some interest in academics, although quite a few people manage to do well regardless due to societal pressures.

For the first semester or so try and avoid working on the side, once you adjust you can pick up work if you want.

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From reading your post, to me, it seems like you already know what you want to do, but it's the living arrangements/accommodations that are making you second guess your decision. I personally don't think it's that big of a deal having to work part time while in University. it may seem daunting if you've never worked before but keep in mind the majority of students do work one or two part time jobs; it's just a matter of balancing school with your other commitments. Plus you'll have work experience to add onto your resume. Like you mentioned there are so many opportunities you'd be missing if you stayed in your hometown. If you go to this out of state University and the experience isn't what you thought it would be, at least you can take it as a learning experience and transfer back to the school in your hometown if that plan doesn't work. On the other hand, if you don't even take the chance of going, won't you always be wondering "what if?" and regretting your lost opportunities? 

 

Seems like you you already know what you want to do; you just need a push.

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I have been reading everyone's comments and just wanted to say a big Thank you to everyone who took the time out to reply. 

The process of moving to a different city on my own (and the fact that i'll miss my family alot) is what's holding me back from choosing the 2nd option immediately.

And the easy/hassle-free nature of the first option is what's still making me consider it. 

So, Until I have come to a strong and unshakable conclusion by the end of february, I will have to keep thinking and evaluating. 

(Hopefully I wont go crazy by that time).  

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