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Hijab Issues

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Lets begin with my hijab story, I wore hijab at 8 years old as I was "encouraged" by my father. I never really understood hijab until I started meeting other hijabi's in high school. I never really complained about it until I started getting attention from men. That pretty much made me think thaf hijab is pointless, well for me anyway. This attention was definately to do with lust and I've even had random men physically touch me astagfurallah. My hijab is pretty average - I wear maxi skirts a lot except for uni days when I have to run for the train etc. I've even been to the mosque in an abaya and no make up and have had non muslim men and muslim men approach me. So I am confused - whats the point of covering my hair if it's not working for me? We live in a society where "mandems" love hijabi's as they are "full of surprises". To be honest I only pray every week or month so hijab does nothing for me. Obviously it's meant to limit the attention but sometimes I just want to blend in and get no attention - lust or no lust! The only reason I probably still wear it is because of the respect I have for my parents and their "reputation". Any advice on how I can cling on to my hijab?

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To be honest I only pray every week or month so hijab does nothing for me.

This is the main problem. You should start doing, at least, the wajib prayers every day (except for during your menstrual cycle).

You will see 'the point' for the other things like hijab once you start doing this.

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This is the main problem. You should start doing, at least, the wajib prayers every day (except for during your menstrual cycle).

You will see 'the point' for the other things like hijab once you start doing this.

How does one explain the beauty of hijab...?

Lol I just had that run through my head.

So many different things.

Sister, perhaps you should also read up on hijab.

I too was once confused about the meaning but now, I can't think of not being modest. When I wear my abaya, it gives me a incredible sense of security. And if worn correctly, it shouldn't attract the gazes of men.

That being said, there are some pretty nasty men out there that dare look at a muslimah with perfect hijab. This doesn't mean you abandon hijab, it means you strengthen your hijab. -

I could go on about the different types of hijab (I will post a book that does so in a bit) but that book should do the trick. -

Fatimahtul Zahraa (as) has her hijab described somewhere and it is incredible.

Anyways, part of her hijab is that she basically had a human barricade around her at all times. Including the completely abaya and face covering.

No one will dare gaze upon you if you had your mahrams around. I know when my dad is around no one even says salaam to me lol

It's a blessing, trust me. You will fall in love as soon as you understand it.

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(salam)

Sister, the reason why YOU wear hijab , is because you are a queen. Yes, a queen of Islam.

Watch this powerful short speech on Hijab and trust me ,you will understand the true value of it and would never take it off, even if I give you a hundred dollars.

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We live in a society where "mandems" love hijabi's as they are "full of surprises".

:lol: LOL ..You're right in this society muslims men see hijabis as a target, rather than backing off

So at the end of the day do what you see as the best way of protecting your modesty, in western world wearing hijab doesnt necessarily do this

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no offence, but wearing hijab only when you pray, your prayer is invalid because Allah dosent except prayers without hijab , even though you didnt like wearing it, it is still important if you are muslim, if you love Allah and his messenger. you have to put islam ahead of anything in your life like love, family, job, education or whatever, and if you dont want to wear hijab and only want to pray once a week or month then you are not muslim, a muslim obeys Allah's rules, he prays 5 times daily, if you are a women you must wear hijab, you have to read quran you need to kind and give to the poor, and if you can only accomplish these once a week or month and dont wear hijab during the period of the week or month, you are not muslim, NO OFFENCE!

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Yakhti al 3iraqiyya (as i take it from your name you're kurdish)

first of all i want to re-iterate that no one here is trying to attack you. We all have our own flaws and demons we are fighting, and i think i speak for men everywhere when i say we (men) will never understand the hardships a practicing muslim woman will go through by upholding her hijab, and not just the piece of cloth which covers the body, but the social hijab, which is far deeper, and in the end of the day, far more rewarding to the woman who practices it.

Brother Hadi and others pointed out the most important thing, which is negligence of prayers leading to an incomplete view of how beautiful Islam is. For a uni exam or job interview, we find ourselves dressed to impress and half an hour early for the appointment. Why are we lacking when we have an appointment with the Owner of all creation, after such an appointment (ie prayer) He says ask Me whatever you want and I shall grant it! So the moment we understand the beauty behind prayer, we will fall in love with it, feel real tangible benefits from performing it, and even find ourselves staring at the wall clock in anticipation for the start of prayer

As for the social hijab, i don't like post long videos, but this is a video of sayyid ammar, and more importantly of a russian woman who converted to Islam, more so than anything after she realised the joy and freedom wearing hijab gave her. the lecture is on modernity and modesty and social hijab, but with your busy uni schedule, if you just want to listen to the lady's story, fast forward to about 41 minutes

khashooga, raggi, jawwa, na3al (i just like throwing out random iraqi words)

May Allah (SWT) bless you for all your sincere efforts to getting to Him, and take you and the rest of us by the hand for the rest of the way

Btw, a lot of men are pigs, wether you wear hijab or not

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Yakhti al 3iraqiyya (as i take it from your name you're kurdish)

first of all i want to re-iterate that no one here is trying to attack you. We all have our own flaws and demons we are fighting, and i think i speak for men everywhere when i say we (men) will never understand the hardships a practicing muslim woman will go through by upholding her hijab, and not just the piece of cloth which covers the body, but the social hijab, which is far deeper, and in the end of the day, far more rewarding to the woman who practices it.

Brother Hadi and others pointed out the most important thing, which is negligence of prayers leading to an incomplete view of how beautiful Islam is. For a uni exam or job interview, we find ourselves dressed to impress and half an hour early for the appointment. Why are we lacking when we have an appointment with the Owner of all creation, after such an appointment (ie prayer) He says ask Me whatever you want and I shall grant it! So the moment we understand the beauty behind prayer, we will fall in love with it, feel real tangible benefits from performing it, and even find ourselves staring at the wall clock in anticipation for the start of prayer

As for the social hijab, i don't like post long videos, but this is a video of sayyid ammar, and more importantly of a russian woman who converted to Islam, more so than anything after she realised the joy and freedom wearing hijab gave her. the lecture is on modernity and modesty and social hijab, but with your busy uni schedule, if you just want to listen to the lady's story, fast forward to about 41 minutes

khashooga, raggi, jawwa, na3al (i just like throwing out random iraqi words)

May Allah (SWT) bless you for all your sincere efforts to getting to Him, and take you and the rest of us by the hand for the rest of the way

Btw, a lot of men are pigs, wether you wear hijab or not

Simach, bataniya, bateekh o ba3ad shinoo??

Lol

Jazak'Allah khair aljazaa for the lecture akhi, I hadn't seen that one before.

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Hijabis get more attention because Shaitan goes after people who are trying to follow the right path. You should change your intention. Do hijab for Allah, not for family reputation. I did it for those reasons for years and it didn't make a difference. In the end I found out that "ghairat" and "family honor" are fake, they don't exist. Make your intention pure for Allah, then you will see the difference.

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I know the feeling, back when i was at university (i make myself sound so old, it was only 3 years ago) the university i went to was very mixed race and there was alot of asians. Saying this you would have supposed that they know the meaning of hijab however, i used to be Stalked!! I would get guys coming upto me declaring their love and even though they ask for 'islamic' relations it didnt change the fact they were still perving. But you see the hijab was still covering me, so whilst they had disturbed minds my body was safe from their eyes. I once read this saying, i cant remember the exact saying but it went something like this. A non-muslim asks a shaykh why women have to wear the hijab. The shaykh took two sweets unwrapoed one and threw them both on the floor. Then he asked the non-muslim to pick one and eat it. Obviously he had picked up the wrapped sweet. The shakyh told him that islam protects its women from the dirt of the earth. I really believe that saying shows that while there is alot of 'dirt' out there as a women it is important to keep yourself 'wrapped'.

InshAllah you will come to love the hijab for itself and not for the love of your parents. It takes time and noone is perfect but trust me being covered is so much more dignified then showing off your body/hair.

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no offence, but wearing hijab only when you pray, your prayer is invalid because Allah dosent except prayers without hijab , even though you didnt like wearing it, it is still important if you are muslim, if you love Allah and his messenger. you have to put islam ahead of anything in your life like love, family, job, education or whatever, and if you dont want to wear hijab and only want to pray once a week or month then you are not muslim, a muslim obeys Allah's rules, he prays 5 times daily, if you are a women you must wear hijab, you have to read quran you need to kind and give to the poor, and if you can only accomplish these once a week or month and dont wear hijab during the period of the week or month, you are not muslim, NO OFFENCE!

Seriously? you call someone non-muslim because they dont abide by all islamic teachings? Here is what i think:

1. Even if a muslim does not practise, the fact that they believe in Allah (swt) and his prophet Muhammad (pbuh) makes them a muslim. Not a practising muslim by action and worship but a person whose heart believes in the creator and the true message. You CAN NOT call them non-muslim.

2. Allah (swt) is most merciful. He might find her a better Muslim than you and me. Can you guarantee that you are a better Muslim than us? Prophet Musa (pbuh) said he could not cal himself (and he is a prophet of god) as being better than a dog. Then how do u justify yourself?

3. People need to be informed, inspired and encouraged into being practising muslims. This is only achieved through communicating in a wise and rational sold way. The prophet of god did not say this is islam- choose fire or hell? This is haram or halal! It was through education that mankind changed into the better. Its better if we use intellect rather than a threatening nature to propogate good islamic practise or our deen in general.

Wa salam

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Lets begin with my hijab story, I wore hijab at 8 years old as I was "encouraged" by my father. I never really understood hijab until I started meeting other hijabi's in high school. I never really complained about it until I started getting attention from men. That pretty much made me think thaf hijab is pointless, well for me anyway. This attention was definately to do with lust and I've even had random men physically touch me astagfurallah. My hijab is pretty average - I wear maxi skirts a lot except for uni days when I have to run for the train etc. I've even been to the mosque in an abaya and no make up and have had non muslim men and muslim men approach me. So I am confused - whats the point of covering my hair if it's not working for me? We live in a society where "mandems" love hijabi's as they are "full of surprises". To be honest I only pray every week or month so hijab does nothing for me. Obviously it's meant to limit the attention but sometimes I just want to blend in and get no attention - lust or no lust! The only reason I probably still wear it is because of the respect I have for my parents and their "reputation". Any advice on how I can cling on to my hijab?

(salam)

I too started wearing Hijab quite early and despite my Hijab, I too have received unwanted attention by men.

From your post you seem educated so let me ask you this.

Why are you blaming Hijab for the pervy men of the world? And moreover, if you get this much unwanted attention with Hijab can you imagine how much worse it will be without Hijab.

If anything it is a lack of Hijab (on the men's part) that is causing this problem, that does not make your Hijab pointless but ever so more important.

Also as others have discussed, Hijab and other acts of worship will not be meaningful to you until you have filled the void that only Salah (praying) can fill. Therefore put your battles against Hijab on hold and try and focus on your prayers.

Edited by *Sayyeda*
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Oh lord, another youngyin falling into sin, I'd recommend marriage.

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So you're telling me you think you're too pretty to wear the hijab ? (what i gather).

I'd report the men who touch you indecently. If you live in the west, you have that kind of support.

Trust me, the hijab does make a difference. If you want men to look at you for your ideas, rather then your body, you may think about keeping it on. A womans body is sexually powerful, which is why God tells men to lower their gaze. There are men who will not do it , so to protect a woman it's recommended for her to wear the hijab.

Why not try not wearing make up?

This might sound outlandish, and maybe i am a hypocrite, but when i see women in miniskirts or with low cut tops and make up, in my mind i just think : "is that all you are then? a sex object? Rather you than me".

I dislike judging people, i hate it, but i know men seeing i am one and have a lot of guy friends. A woman who shows things definitely catches a mans attention. Some definitely will think wrong things of you.

It's your choice at the end of the day. You have your own autonomy to make your descisions.

+ the point of a hijab is to cover the body, and not just the hair.

Edited by Rational Thinking

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You should change your intention. Do hijab for Allah, not for family reputation

it is the best advice sister.

if you are not wearing Hijab and praying for sake of Allah, then let them go from your life but if you do them only because you have been told by Prophet (sa) and his Ahlebayt that praying and wearing Hejab are wajib then do them for Love of God and getting close to Him.

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Maybe your getting wrong attention because you are not implementing the hijab of the soul, mind and actions. As hijab is not only the way you dress but should also include the way you act ( which may be causing you to get attention). Hijab should be more than just a scarf or abaya you wear simply for your parents. It should be done for modesty the most obvious reasons, as well as being the flag barrier of Islam . Imam hussine ( a.s) scarified his life for us Muslim women to be able to carry on this Islamic tradition. You should try listening to some speakers about hijab, like Hassanian rajabali etc.

Also the only way you will be able to fully like and accept hijab is if you learn the true essence and beauty behind it, instead of it being simply being associated with something your father encourages you to do, with out a full meaning being understood.

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A question: Will this 'forced' hijab get her the Khushnoodi that apparently comes with observing willful Hijab ?

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Salam u alaykom,

Unfortunetly, please think Hijab is meant to cover hair!!!! That's not the definition of divine attribute! There are lots of good books to read about it. Some people just cover theyem selves but on other hand wear fashion attractive clothes or tight clothes, etc!!! They obviously dont get the point!!!

Seek within yourself, see what is it that would be attractive to men coming from you!

Assalam u alaykom

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Lets begin with my hijab story, I wore hijab at 8 years old as I was "encouraged" by my father. I never really understood hijab until I started meeting other hijabi's in high school. I never really complained about it until I started getting attention from men. That pretty much made me think thaf hijab is pointless, well for me anyway. This attention was definately to do with lust and I've even had random men physically touch me astagfurallah. My hijab is pretty average - I wear maxi skirts a lot except for uni days when I have to run for the train etc. I've even been to the mosque in an abaya and no make up and have had non muslim men and muslim men approach me. So I am confused - whats the point of covering my hair if it's not working for me? We live in a society where "mandems" love hijabi's as they are "full of surprises". To be honest I only pray every week or month so hijab does nothing for me. Obviously it's meant to limit the attention but sometimes I just want to blend in and get no attention - lust or no lust! The only reason I probably still wear it is because of the respect I have for my parents and their "reputation". Any advice on how I can cling on to my hijab?

Salaamun'Alaikum

I think the first problem here is as you said, "encouraged" by your father. This is a mistake many parents make. I know even my parents kind of forced my sister when she was told to start wearing it. "If you wear- you save our reputation, If not- then you're going to burn in hell for eternity." That's such a wrong approach.

I advise you to study the life of Bibi Fatima (sa) and Bibi zainab (sa) and how she fought for her hijab.

Also hijab is not just covering your hair. Most people think hijab=hair cover. That's not it. It's also the way you interact, and guard your modesty. What's the point of covering the hair while wearing tight jeans and shirt, putting on make up and having male "BFFs"?

And about blending in society, who says its not possible while observing proper modest dress?? I have seen muslim girls wearing that and they're treated just like other students. There's no problem. People will ask you about it and why wear it and I promise you they will respect you later on.

And yes, no doubt there are bad people who behave as you said. And like someone mentioned previously its important to report it.

And the most important thing- NIYYAT (INTENTION). HAVE THE RIGHT INTENTION FOR DOING ANYTHING.I remember my parents used to shout at me when I was in high school to pray daily namaz. I used to pray zuhr and asr right before maghrib time and maghrib just before going to bed, and I'm telling you it didn't help A BIT! I was forced into praying it, so I was praying to avoid scolding. NOT FOR Allah. My intention was not right. Same with attending majalis. Now I realise after doing all this with intention how different you feel. You will no longer feel its a "burden" or a "barrier".

One more thing, recently I've seen an Iranian TV series, Its called MOKHTAR NAMEH. A really good series I really liked it. After watching it you would know what true sacrifice is. Highly recommend watching it. The whole series is on youtube.

Hope this helps. I pray to Allah to give you strength and patience.

Khz

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(salam) Hmmm. I believe that you should upgrade to a full covering BURQA. :Hijabi: :lol:

But to give you a push to keep on wearing it I would advise you to wear the HILAB not for your parents rather do it for Allah.

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This attention was definately to do with lust and I've even had random men physically touch me astagfurallah.

What do you mean? Like getting groped on the subway or something? Did you contact the police?

Also, you may want to look into the niqab.

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