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Can A Shia Women Marry A Sunni


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#1 ashi786

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Posted 27 November 2010 - 08:59 PM

salaam brothers and sister ,
i can never get a right answer for this question can i shia girls marry a sunni can any1 help me ???

thank you ws

#2 Al-Mukhtar

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Posted 27 November 2010 - 09:03 PM

This depends on who your marja is. Many say no. I personally would recommend not doing so. I know a few people who have and one of two things have happened.

1. Kids end up not knowing what to believe, becoming confused.
2. Husband becomes annoying, kicks turbah during prayer, takes your hands and folds them.

#3 lover of imam(a.t.f.s)

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Posted 27 November 2010 - 09:06 PM

I don't think there even is a right answer to this question..lol...There soo many questions regarding this issue.... Yes a shia girl can marry a sunni guy... however it totally depends on the girl... sometimes a shia girl wont marry a sunni .. n sometimes a shia girl would but her parents wont let her due to all the cultural n religion reasons... but it totally depends on who your marrying....yep!! but as i'm a shia girl i wouldn't marry a sunni guy... :)

#4 ashi786

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Posted 27 November 2010 - 09:11 PM

thxs bro im not good wid islam but what if hes willing 2 let u do wat u do as a shia and dont want 2 change u . i dnt understand why we all all r muslims and belive in 1 god .

I don't think there even is a right answer to this question..lol...There soo many questions regarding this issue.... Yes a shia girl can marry a sunni guy... however it totally depends on the girl... sometimes a shia girl wont marry a sunni .. n sometimes a shia girl would but her parents wont let her due to all the cultural n religion reasons... but it totally depends on who your marrying....yep!! but as i'm a shia girl i wouldn't marry a sunni guy... :)




lool thxs sis i need help wid this i jus dont understand whyy

#5 Abu Tufayl

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Posted 27 November 2010 - 09:56 PM

(bismillah)

thxs bro im not good wid islam but what if hes willing 2 let u do wat u do as a shia and dont want 2 change u . i dnt understand why we all all r muslims and belive in 1 god .

lool thxs sis i need help wid this i jus dont understand whyy

(bismillah)

It is not haram but it would be your responsibility to:
1) not get sunnified
2) make sure all your children are shi'ah and not sunnified shi'ah

It doesn't work out very well honestly. The Imams (as) said do not marry your women to them, so I would take the Ahlulbayt (as)'s recommendation for they know better.

#6 lover of imam(a.t.f.s)

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Posted 27 November 2010 - 10:00 PM

thxs bro im not good wid islam but what if hes willing 2 let u do wat u do as a shia and dont want 2 change u . i dnt understand why we all all r muslims and belive in 1 god .

lool thxs sis i need help wid this i jus dont understand whyy


well u never knw if he changes his mind ... just to b on the safe side think very deeply abt this... it's not only u or him... think ahead abt your kids in future ... don't let your children b confused abt shia sunni n all that ... i honestly wouldn't recomend this to a shia girl ... it's tuff ... but gud luck Posted Image

#7 zeinabiyya

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Posted 27 November 2010 - 11:56 PM

thxs bro im not good wid islam but what if hes willing 2 let u do wat u do as a shia and dont want 2 change u . i dnt understand why we all all r muslims and belive in 1 god .


ashi786, it might seem to the girl like she could only ever marry this one Sunni guy in her whole life, but trust me, it doesn't work that way.

Marriage isn't just about love, or what society has us perceive love is today - it's about a lot more, including trust, building a strong relationship, raising good, solid kids, and mutual understanding. Much of this involves the spiritual and religious.

The Messenger of Allah said,

“A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and one who marries her (only) for her beauty, will find in her (things) which he dislikes (unpleasing manners) and Allah will gather up all these things for one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness).” - Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 31


This, of course, also applies to a woman in deciding the man she wants to live her life with. By the same token:

A Shi'ah Muslim woman can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim man or a non-Shi'ah Muslim man, although it is better not to do so; and if there is danger of being misled, then it is haraam. But she cannot marry a non-Muslim man.



http://www.al-islam....-handbook/5.htm


A Sunni man may be pious, but he does not have a part of Islam that we consider vital to its essence. They have lost the heart of religion and kept the shell, as some say. They are our brothers in Islam and we are all judged only by God, but when it comes to marriage, such a sacred institution, does the woman really want to spend the rest of her life with someone who will not travel the same path as she will spiritually? Marriage is also about this growth together, which cannot occur to the same extent when the man does not believe in waiting eagerly for Imam al-Mehdi (aj), does not cry during Ashura with her, ridicules her for believing in the allowance of Mut'ah or the illegibility of Taraweeh, eats Iftar ten minutes before she does during Ramadan, and so on and so forth. The man may be very open, understanding, and accepting, but how far can that go? How practicable is such a solution, such a life? I must say it would be much more of a struggle. Deciding whether or not to allow the kids to learn to play piano would be a pretty difficult ordeal. Deciding whether or not to allow the kids to eat haram meat just by saying bismillah first would be cause for an argument. And the list goes on...


A truly religious woman will usually not opt for such a lifestyle. She fears too much for her kids' sakes and even her own sake - who's to say he won't influence her? She wants to spend her life with the man who will run to do good deeds for the sake of our Imam with her, who will praise Ahlul Bayt with her, who will continue to be her husband in the afterlife rather than just a husband for this world who supported the likes of Abu Bakr, Omar, and Aisha.


There are too many risks in place here, and too many factors to consider, both societally and personally. Please don't risk it.



#8 jund_el_Mahdi

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 12:05 AM

Sure, if you make sure your children are Shia.

Good luck with that though...

#9 ashi786

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 10:47 AM

yeah thanks every1 but its crazy my parents dont allow it coz they say it haraam they say its not allowed i didnt understand why but thats coz im very bad i dont knw alot abt islam im changin myself nw wna
know more abt it and this topic too coz being a shia girl is not easy

#10 Aabiss_Shakari

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 11:38 AM

(salam)

Marrying a Sunni girl or boy is a foolish idea before me. A practical Shia Muslim/Muslimah can not live with a Sunni man/woman. If one can risk his/her next generation and faith then they can do it. I am strongly against this.

#11 doobybrother

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 12:08 PM

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In al-Faqih from as-Saduq: And Safwan narrated from Zurara from Abu `Abdillah (as). He said: Marry the doubters (ash-shakkak) and do not marry (your women to) them, for the woman takes from the culture of her spouse and he subjugates her upon his religion.

http://www.tashayyu....with-a-non-shia




#12 lover of imam(a.t.f.s)

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 12:18 PM

yeah thanks every1 but its crazy my parents dont allow it coz they say it haraam they say its not allowed i didnt understand why but thats coz im very bad i dont knw alot abt islam im changin myself nw wna
know more abt it and this topic too coz being a shia girl is not easy


Unfortuntely there right .... i also couldn't understand that at all but then as the time went by i strated to get why it's important for a shia girl to marry a shia guy ... cuz basically if u marry a sunni guy ... your in a sunni family... not matter is you practices shia faith but you still would be called a sunni wife.. u get wat m tryin to say.. as for marrying into a shia family... your somewat protected in my opinion... so r your kids... cuz near in future if your kids become sunni ( i mean no guarantees) then you'll regret it .... soo thikn deeply abt this... don't get into the "love" trap .. no use .. :)

#13 eThErEaL

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 12:53 PM

Most Shias would be lucky if they could marry a Sunni. Sunnis take their religion much more seriously. This is what I have personally noticed having lived in both Sunni and Shia environments. Yes it is true that there are many Shias who take their Shiaism seriously (no doubt)--just like there are also many Sunnis who take their Sunnism seriously. But there are more Sunnis than Shias who take Islam seriously.

Peace.
Ethereal

(salam)

Marrying a Sunni girl or boy is a foolish idea before me. A practical Shia Muslim/Muslimah can not live with a Sunni man/woman. If one can risk his/her next generation and faith then they can do it. I am strongly against this.


Actually, its better if they become Sunni. at least they wont learn the bad adab of sending la'nat on people who dont agree with them. Also, they will at least get some peace of mind while praying in a room not filled with khomeini and khamenei pictures.

Edited by eThErEaL, 28 November 2010 - 12:58 PM.


#14 Aabiss_Shakari

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 12:57 PM

Actually, its better if they become Sunni. at least they wont learn the bad adab of sending la'nat on people that dont agree with them.


Yes then they will be able to say (ra) after Muawvia, Yazeed, Hinda and Abu Sfuyan. That would be great. They should also stop reading Quran because Quran has also cursed many. You must be against reciting Surah Lahab? Is it not so?

#15 eThErEaL

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 01:02 PM

2. Husband becomes annoying, kicks turbah during prayer, takes your hands and folds them.

I dont think anyone would consider marrying such animals.

#16 Aabiss_Shakari

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 01:07 PM

Actually, its better if they become Sunni. at least they wont learn the bad adab of sending la'nat on people that dont agree with them.


Yes then they will be able to say (ra) after Muawvia, Yazeed, Hinda and Abu Sfuyan. That would be great. They should also stop reading Quran because Quran has also cursed many. You must be against reciting Surah Lahab? Is it not so?

#17 eThErEaL

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 01:11 PM

Yes then they will be able to say (ra) after Muawvia, Yazeed, Hinda and Abu Sfuyan. That would be great. They should also stop reading Quran because Quran has also cursed many. You must be against reciting Surah Lahab? Is it not so?

Not necessarily. But thats "still" far better than doing la'nat on those whose names are not mentioned in Quran. And even about those whose names are mentioned in Koran, where does God tell us to make it a practice to do la'nat on them? Just because God does it does not mean God recommends us to do it as a some sort of practice in our daily life. We cant be so sure we are completely free from the sins that are committed by those mentioned in the Quran. Rather than using the Quran as a guide for self-reform, we think its a book that tells who to send lanat on??

Edited by eThErEaL, 28 November 2010 - 01:13 PM.


#18 Aabiss_Shakari

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 01:22 PM

Not necessarily. But thats "still" far better than doing la'nat on those whose names are not mentioned in Quran. And even about those whose names are mentioned in Koran, where does God tell us to make it a practice to do la'nat on them? Just because God does it does not mean God recommends us to do it as a some sort of practice in our daily life. We cant be so sure we are completely free from the sins that are committed by those mentioned in the Quran. Rather than using the Quran as a guide for self-reform, we think its a book that tells who to send lanat on??


I do not know why there is so much generalization among Shia critics. I am sick of it. It looks that many so called reformist Shias see every disease among Shias but think mostly Sunnis are pure. Only because some of Shias curse enemies of Ahl ul bait a.s by name therefore, Shia boys/girls should marry a Sunni? I know many Shias who are very religious and practical muslims. What Sunnis do? They offer many prayers? They recite Quran in a good voice? Most of the Sunnis offer prayers for the sake of prayers without Ma'arifat. Sunnism is based on Kasrat e Amal and not Ikhlaas e Amal while Shiaism is based on vice versa. This is not lie this is established fact from the texts of both the sides. I am not inspired by Kasrat e Amal of a person whose Aqeeda is not right.

#19 eThErEaL

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 02:16 PM

I do not know why there is so much generalization among Shia critics. I am sick of it. It looks that many so called reformist Shias see every disease among Shias but think mostly Sunnis are pure. Only because some of Shias curse enemies of Ahl ul bait a.s by name therefore, Shia boys/girls should marry a Sunni? I know many Shias who are very religious and practical muslims. What Sunnis do? They offer many prayers? They recite Quran in a good voice? Most of the Sunnis offer prayers for the sake of prayers without Ma'arifat. Sunnism is based on Kasrat e Amal and not Ikhlaas e Amal while Shiaism is based on vice versa. This is not lie this is established fact from the texts of both the sides. I am not inspired by Kasrat e Amal of a person whose Aqeeda is not right.


:) I dont know how you are able to judge a person's ikhlas. maybe its because your are already so desensitized from sending so many la'nats to people.

Edited by eThErEaL, 28 November 2010 - 02:28 PM.


#20 Iraqiah_Shia

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 03:49 PM

Why would you wan to marry someone who is Sunni? Shia men/women who consider marrying someone outside our Madh'hab should think about their future kinds first, ''love'' is not everything. Now and at the beginning of your marriage you'll think your love can beat everything and solve all the problems you have, but after a couple of years or even months you'll see that your love for each other is not enough to keep your marriage alive. You need to have the same ideology and the same way of thinking about the way you want to live. And as Shia Muslims religion is our way of life and the way we want to raise our kids. The differences in the way of practising our religion and even our Islamic ideology is just too big comparing it with Sunnism. Think about the next life first and what kind of religion and Mahd'hab your children will carry. That is more important. Besides that, what do Sunni men have what our men don't have?

I seriously don't know what our men and women have these days with getting married to Sunnis. Its getting annoying.

Edited by Iraqiah_Shia, 28 November 2010 - 03:52 PM.


#21 lover of imam(a.t.f.s)

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 03:55 PM

Why would you wan to marry someone who is Sunni? Shia men/women who consider marrying someone outside our Madh'hab should think about their future kinds first, ''love'' is not everything. Now and at the beginning of your marriage you'll think your love can beat everything and solve all the problems you have, but after a couple of years or even months you'll see that your love for each other is not enough to keep your marriage alive. You need to have the same ideology and the same way of thinking about the way you want to live. And as Shia Muslims religion is our way of life and the way we want to raise our kids. The differences in the way of practising our religion and even our Islamic ideology is just too big comparing it with Sunnism. Think about the next life first and what kind of religion and Mahd'hab your children will carry. That is more important. Besides that, what do Sunni men have what our men don't have?

I seriously don't know what our men and women have these days with getting married to Sunnis. Its getting annoying.



i 100% agree with you... dunno why people want to ruin ther lives after this so called "love"....

#22 gilgamesh

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Posted 02 December 2010 - 11:17 AM

salaam brothers and sister ,
i can never get a right answer for this question can i shia girls marry a sunni can any1 help me ???

thank you ws



There is a Hadith By Abu Jafar Al-Baqir,he is Asked abotu a Certain Mumina who lives in a Far Away Place where there are no Mumins.Can She marrry among them?

He Said:She May not marry anyone but of her own Community,As for you males you may marry the Ahl Al-Shakk(People of doubt)Among You,But do not marry your Daughters to THem.for a Women takes on the Religiouis Beleifs of her Husband''

oke im Paraphrasing but i will try and find the Hadith its in Bohar al anwar and Da''a''im al-islam

the one in Bihar al anawar is From Al-SAdiq who says:You may marry the Daughters of Shakkajk(Doubters)But do not marry your Daughters to them,for a women is naturally more inclined to ehr Husbands religouis Beleifs''

#23 anwarzaidi

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 02:55 AM

salam sister no sister you love imam husain imam ali .you like to mereege with who like abobakr umar.i dont thinks

#24 gilgamesh

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Posted 21 December 2010 - 07:03 PM

salaam brothers and sister ,
i can never get a right answer for this question can i shia girls marry a sunni can any1 help me ???

thank you ws

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In al-Faqih from as-Saduq: And Safwan narrated from Zurara from Abu `Abdillah (as). He said: Marry the doubters (ash-shakkak) and do not marry (your women to) them, for the woman takes from the culture of her spouse and he subjugates her upon his religion.

The Shakkak are a group of sunnis who woudl immdetiatly curse the 3 shaykhayn ifthey knew the Opression they put out.

#25 ShiaBen

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Posted 21 December 2010 - 11:34 PM

When it comes to marriage, you want to have a relationship and family with an individual that may share your beliefs. There is little conflict in this manner. A Shiite marrying a Christian, Jew, Hindu, etc. etc. is up to him/her. He/she can still have a happy relationship, or he/she can have a happy but compromised relationship. It is really up to the person and what kind of relationship they want to get themselves into.

I've seen a Hindu man marry an Iranian woman, and he converted and became Shiite (I cannot say whether or not it was for love or if it was because he actually found the din interesting and appealing). In this situation, the beneficiary was the woman. In another situation, a Sunni Pakistani married a Shiite one, and the child was brought under the father's rules and ideals.

So again, it really depends on the people you get involved with. I know in an unfortunate situation, a Christian married a secular Muslim. The secular Muslim was a pretty tolerable and flexible individual. She is fine with occasional drinking and having a relationship with a westernized person as long as the person is smart and has a good personality. After getting married, the only thing she wanted that somewhat pertained to Islam, was to have their baby boy circumcised. She never asked to have the boy to become a practicing Muslim, she just wanted the son to be circumcized for sanitary reasons, but the mother-in-law of the individual was heavily against it, and she didn't have it her way, so the boy remained uncircumcised.

So when we look at a Sunni-Shiite intermarriage here are the pros and cons:

When it comes to Islamic aspects of cleanliness and hygiene, for the most part everything is the same, so that is a pro.
Learning prayers- pretty much the same, another pro
5 pillars of Islam- again the same, another pro
Use the same Quran- pro

So all these very basic fundamentals are pretty much the same, since Shiites and Sunnis are not sects, but schools of thoughts at the basic level.

But when we look at information that relates to hadiths and knowledge after the Quran, that is where the roots head toward different directions and create new paths.

This is the disadvantage of such a marriage, the child/spouse will have to conform to the standards of the other.

Unless, there was some weird relationship where parents picked out the pros and cons of Shiite/Sunni schools of thoughts, and create their own Islamic school of thought for their child, or if they left it up to the child to pick the school of thought he/she finds superior.

Edited by ShiaBen, 21 December 2010 - 11:35 PM.




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