Jump to content


- - -


Photo
- - - - -

How To Remove Lust?


35 replies to this topic

#1 Son Of Adam

Son Of Adam

    May Allah Curse the Opressors of Ahlul-Bayt

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 383 posts
  • Location:Sydney, Australia
  • Religion:Islam - ÔíÚÉ Úáí

Posted 30 April 2010 - 06:27 AM

(bismillah)

(salam)

Me and my mates, well im sure alot of guys in life have a big problem with lust. Especially where i live here in Australia, you find pretty girls walking all around you. What a some tips in trying to reduce those desires within you? I do pray but it's not helping me much, i think there are some defects within my prayers. Can anyone of yous share some your thoughts or experiences on this issue inshAllah..

w/s

#2 thecontentedself

thecontentedself

    Hajji Baba

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,410 posts

Posted 30 April 2010 - 06:35 AM

(wasalam) (bismillah)

Bro it needs patience and resilience and looking beyond this limited material world.

how old are you? what about getting married?

try to avoid going to places where these girls congregate.

i also advise you to read some books on the greater jihad, jihad of the self.

self control is the strongest weapon of a good muslim.

hope this helps.

salam

#3 Son Of Adam

Son Of Adam

    May Allah Curse the Opressors of Ahlul-Bayt

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 383 posts
  • Location:Sydney, Australia
  • Religion:Islam - ÔíÚÉ Úáí

Posted 30 April 2010 - 06:40 AM

(salam)

Thanks for your reply bro, im 21 turning 22 soon. Yeh inshallah when the right time comes ill get married. Can anyone recommend me any books to read about Jihad al-nafs, I need a really good one which would help alot?

w/s

#4 Rohani

Rohani

    A Scholar is like a candle burning out to give others light.

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,227 posts
  • Location:Where Kilometers not miles
  • Religion:Ahle Tashayyu
  • Interests:Philosophy, Hawzah, Spending time with my wife :)

Posted 30 April 2010 - 06:49 AM

(salam)

Thanks for your reply bro, im 21 turning 22 soon. Yeh inshallah when the right time comes ill get married. Can anyone recommend me any books to read about Jihad al-nafs, I need a really good one which would help alot?

w/s


(salam)
http://ghadeer.org/e...adis/index.html

Hadith one (is what you should read for jihad e nafs)

http://ghadeer.org/e...dis/hadith1.htm

(wasalam)

Edited by AlMuttaqi, 30 April 2010 - 06:51 AM.


#5 thecontentedself

thecontentedself

    Hajji Baba

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,410 posts

Posted 30 April 2010 - 06:50 AM

Spiritual significance of Jihad
Greater Jihad
The Greatest Jihad:combat with the self

Edited by thecontentedself, 30 April 2010 - 06:53 AM.


#6 Son Of Adam

Son Of Adam

    May Allah Curse the Opressors of Ahlul-Bayt

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 383 posts
  • Location:Sydney, Australia
  • Religion:Islam - ÔíÚÉ Úáí

Posted 30 April 2010 - 07:00 AM

(salam)

Thanks heaps boys, may Allah bless yous.

w/s

#7 Abu Hadi

Abu Hadi

    Member

  • Mods
  • 3,771 posts

Posted 30 April 2010 - 07:39 AM

Salams, br.

I know this is a difficult issue, especially in the West (I live in the US, but it is probably pretty much the same on this issue, though I have never been to Australia).
This ayat in the Quran will resolve the issue for you, if you really think about it and practice it.


Þõá áøöáúãõÄúãöäöíäó íóÛõÖøõæÇ ãöäú ÃóÈúÕóÇÑöåöãú æóíóÍúÝóÙõæÇ ÝõÑõæÌóåõãú Ðóáößó ÃóÒúßóì áóåõãú Åöäøó Çááøóåó ÎóÈöíÑñ ÈöãóÇ íóÕúäóÚõæäó

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity: [36] this will be most con­ducive to their purity – [and,] verily, God is aware of all that they do.


For men, the eyes are the gateway to lust. In a house (we're assuming one door and no windows), if you guard the door, you have guarded the whole house. It is not necessary for you to stand inside or walk around the periphery, unless there is another entrance point. So be very vigilant in guarding the door, and you will be ok.

In this life, the Shaytan and his helpers are constantly harassing everyone, and especially the believers to try to get them to do kufr by disobeying Allah(s.w.a). The Shaytan is very aware of men's weak point, because he has been watching mankind for many thousands of years and knows the weak points and the 'triggers' that will destroy us.
The Shaytan uses different tricks with believers than he does with unbelievers. He will not try to encourage a believers to do zina (adultry) or commit an act of homosexuality, because he knows they won't do it and his efforts will be wasted. He wll start with something very small, like a good looking girl is walking down the street, dressed the way she isn't supposed to dress, and encourage a br to just take a 'quick' look. A glance, that is all. Most guys wouldn't think twice about doing this and probably even consider it their right because she is in public, is dressed that way of her own free will, and actually she probably wants guys to look at her. This is what the ayat is talking about. It starts out saying, 'Tell the believing men' . It is addressing the believers, not the unbelievers or fasiq or mushrik, and men specifically.

It is telling the believing men that even though she is in public, dressed that way of her own free will, wants men to look at her, and Shaytan is telling you that this is not a big deal, just a look, noone will know, etc, etc, but still don't do it. Because if you do, you have now stopped guarding the door to the house and Shaytan is free then to walk inside. This is when lust starts. It always starts with disobedience of the ayat. Then once Shaytan is inside, he starts with your imagination and starts with pictures and situations. This increases the lust and you are less able to guard the door and more of his helpers come in and start doing other things.

Now, having said that, I know that in the places where we live, it is almost impossible not to ever look, because we are surrounded by kufr women who are deliberately trying to entice us and are actually allies of the Shaytan in this case. Unfortunately, where I live, there are even muslim and Shia sisters, and some are even muhajibat, who wear to hijab just as a decoration and even go to the masjid in tight cloths and use techniques to try to get men's attention. This is even in the masjid, so you can imagine what it's like outside.
The thing is, you are going to make a mistake, and look. The main point is that after you look, say 'astaghfir Allah' and realize that you just did haram and maybe say some surats like surat al falaq, surat an nas, and ayat al kursi. If you begin your tawba immediately after you make the mistake and ask Allah(s.w.a) to help you, he will absolutely help you and the lust will not continue and strengthen. Don't wait to do tawba, do it immediately and sincerely. Personally, I have never made this mistake, did 'astaghfir Allah' and the surats immediately, and Allah(s.w.a) did not send help immediately to help me avoid prolonging and repeating the mistake.

I wish you and the brs in Australia the best. May Allah(s.w.a) help you and all of us to strenghthen our Iman and taqwa and help us to get thru this life on haqq and die as mumin.
Salam,
  • wayfarer. likes this

#8 Playing-with-fire

Playing-with-fire

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,159 posts
  • Location:Syd, Australia
  • Religion:Shiaa

Posted 30 April 2010 - 07:45 AM

'Greater Sins' by Ayatullah Abdul Husayn Dastaghaib Shirazi is awesome!! Covers A-Z of the effects of sins, importance of abstaining, doing good forbiding evil ect.

Online book:
http://www.al-islam...._sins_complete/


And 'Merits of the soul-struggling against the self(Nafs)' likewise offers deap insight into jihad al-nafs and everyday struggles.

Online book:
http://www.al-islam....ll/merits_soul/


W/salam

#9 inshaAllah

inshaAllah

    Member

  • Admins
  • 6,847 posts
  • Religion:Islam

Posted 30 April 2010 - 08:41 AM

Salams bro


You've already received some valuable spiritual advice from other brothers. So I'd just suggest some practical 'things to do'.

1) Go get a job

2) Keep trying 1)

3) If you hate 1 and 2, find other means of making money.


Cz financial security is a Must. It makes you an eligible bachelor.

And you'd be silly if you're planning to 'remove lust'. hehe Cut your willy for that'd help, i bet ye. jk

You just need to manage hormones bro. But managing doesn't mean eliminating desires. It means dealing with them by finding appropriate solutions. Appropriate solutions include fixing your state of mind, keeping yourself busy, seeking goals in life, being productive in society, understanding that all this effort of yours is worth more than 100 of years of worship of abideen. Last but not least, finding halal means.

Fi-Amanillah

#10 ali the lion

ali the lion

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 256 posts

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:04 AM

No better solution than marriage buddy. Get married.

#11 Son Of Adam

Son Of Adam

    May Allah Curse the Opressors of Ahlul-Bayt

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 383 posts
  • Location:Sydney, Australia
  • Religion:Islam - ÔíÚÉ Úáí

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:12 AM

(salam)

Hey guys thanks heaps for your wonderful and very helpful replies, yeh i know wallah, ive always stayed away from all haram in life alhamdullah but proberly the hardest issue so far is that lust within you. Ive already started and nearly finished reading the book "The greatest jihad: combat with self" by imam Khomeini (r.a) he practically reads your mind and answers all your issues in regards to the love of this world, amazing!

w/s

#12 Psychopath

Psychopath

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 739 posts
  • Interests:Not people.

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:53 AM

Find another interest and indulge in it. It will occupy your mind and divert it; helping you to avoid acting upon your animalistic urges.

#13 amr bil maaroof

amr bil maaroof

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • Pip
  • 70 posts

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:47 AM

(salam) Hey guys thanks heaps for your wonderful and very helpful replies, yeh i know wallah, ive always stayed away from all haram in life alhamdullah but proberly the hardest issue so far is that lust within you. Ive already started and nearly finished reading the book "The greatest jihad: combat with self" by imam Khomeini (r.a) he practically reads your mind and answers all your issues in regards to the love of this world, amazing!w/s


Mastrubation is also haram brother. When you are hungry you eat food. Find halaal food.

#14 Al Khorasani

Al Khorasani

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • Pip
  • 174 posts
  • Religion:Islam

Posted 30 April 2010 - 11:07 AM

Theres nothing wrong with lust as long as its expressed in a halal way through mut'ah or permanent marriage.

#15 wonderer

wonderer

    Let's Go To The Beach

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,939 posts
  • Location:Out Of Reach
  • Religion:Muslim- Loves AhluAlbait
  • Interests:Making, Expressing, Ignoring, Loving and surly Eating

Posted 30 April 2010 - 11:42 AM

- go to the gym and work out to drain all ur energy :D
- find a hobby to take ur mind off gals
- become more involved in the mosque and event planning :D

#16 Praetorius

Praetorius

    Chaos Knight

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,784 posts
  • Location:Hell's Entrance
  • Interests:Life, and how to take it away from others

Posted 30 April 2010 - 12:46 PM

(salam)
@ the OP
Brother, you're not alone in your struggle. I'm 20 and turning 21 this november. I strive every single day to lower my gaze toward all the gals here as well... It's annoying to be honest, as you and I have a right to live in a society where females don't go running around in provocative attires that attract undue attention from males. :angry:
It's worse for me on Wednesday and Friday nights, as I work for Security and have to keep an eye on many retarded college students; and to top it off, smack in the middle of night parties (which though I don't attend, I have to stand in close proximity-- not inside thankfully), on the way to which women pop outta dorms wearing their finest clothing and makeup. A part of me is like :wub: but in a short bit the other part takes over :mad: :mad: :mad:

The point is, Allah will test you with these temptations daily brother... Face them head on and don't try to get rid of something you are to face the rest of your life. Face it head on, and reject it by throwing it back at Satan's face.

There will be times of failure :cry: , but you and I both know, Allah is the Most Merciful. Peace.
(wasalam)

#17 YaAli(as)

YaAli(as)

    Member

  • Unregistered
  • PipPip
  • 413 posts

Posted 30 April 2010 - 01:14 PM

- go to the gym and work out to drain all ur energy :D
- find a hobby to take ur mind off gals
- become more involved in the mosque and event planning :D


I don't know why people say going to the gym and working out is a good way to take mind off lust. If anything working out increases your testosterone, and often you see pretty girls in tight outfits at the gym which is only worse on the nafs. If anything if a person wishes to lower their "desires" they would probably have to become totally inactive, play video games all day and eat foods that increase estrogen and decrease testosterone to girlish levels (although perhaps manboobs might be an unwanted side effect) :unsure:

To the OP: Go with Abu Hadi's advice, lower the gaze (to the best you can) and learn to recognize the mind games Shaitan(la) plays with you ("oh it's ok to look, nothing will happen"). Constantly seek Allah's help and protection from the evil insinuations. Read Ayatollah Khomeini's "40 Hadiths", lots of good advice in it. Remember, you have 2 angels watching over and recording your deeds at all times:

The Prophet Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå said, ‘Every one of you should be modest in front of his two angels that are with him, just as you would be modest with two righteous neighbours that are with you day and night.’[Kanz al-`Ummal, no. 5751]

Good luck, inshAllah you pass this very difficult test. Remember, 99% of all single brothers feel the same way (and even some married brothers), so your not alone.

#18 Aabiss_Shakari

Aabiss_Shakari

    http://www.abubakr.org

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,340 posts
  • Location:Shia Chat
  • Religion:True Shia Twelver Islam

Posted 30 April 2010 - 01:27 PM

(bismillah)

(salam)

Me and my mates, well im sure alot of guys in life have a big problem with lust. Especially where i live here in Australia, you find pretty girls walking all around you. What a some tips in trying to reduce those desires within you? I do pray but it's not helping me much, i think there are some defects within my prayers. Can anyone of yous share some your thoughts or experiences on this issue inshAllah..

w/s


(salam)

Namaz Ba Jama'at (Congregational prayer) helped me a lot in this matter. It has some spiritual powers which will help you controlling your desires. As far as masturbation is concerned enough is to say how we can be sincere in our wait of Imam (as) when our hands are not pure enough to be placed in the hands of Imam (as) for his "baiyat". It is one of the major sins. May Allah help you in your struggle.

#19 wonderer

wonderer

    Let's Go To The Beach

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,939 posts
  • Location:Out Of Reach
  • Religion:Muslim- Loves AhluAlbait
  • Interests:Making, Expressing, Ignoring, Loving and surly Eating

Posted 30 April 2010 - 01:50 PM

I don't know why people say going to the gym and working out is a good way to take mind off lust. If anything working out increases your testosterone, and often you see pretty girls in tight outfits at the gym which is only worse on the nafs. If anything if a person wishes to lower their "desires" they would probably have to become totally inactive, play video games all day and eat foods that increase estrogen and decrease testosterone to girlish levels (although perhaps manboobs might be an unwanted side effect) :unsure:


well.. hmm.. didn't know abt the testosterone lol.. but I said it coz it'll help u drain ur energy ;)
plus if u go to a body building gym there won't be much gals there
or u could work out at home :D I still think it's gr8 2 use ur energy :D

#20 YaAli(as)

YaAli(as)

    Member

  • Unregistered
  • PipPip
  • 413 posts

Posted 30 April 2010 - 02:14 PM

well.. hmm.. didn't know abt the testosterone lol.. but I said it coz it'll help u drain ur energy ;)
plus if u go to a body building gym there won't be much gals there
or u could work out at home :D I still think it's gr8 2 use ur energy :D


Frankly, draining your energy doesn't work (maybe for a few hours at most). Yes, working out at home is better but only because it's cheaper :D

Another good solution would be for the brother to go into the Australian outback, shave off his eyebrows and meditate until he reaches enlightenment.

#21 Shia Shahid

Shia Shahid

    Nuclear Hazard

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 688 posts
  • Location:close to the Pleiades, Inshallah!
  • Religion:Need you even ask?
  • Interests:Interest is haraam, lol!

Posted 30 April 2010 - 02:16 PM

Jihad-e-Nafs is effective BUT is not the be-all end-all solution in every case.

If lust is a really big issue, then you can actually get it handled by accepting it rather than fighting it which makes it worse. Do mutah with some of these cute girls (of course observe the 'urf of the Australians otherwise they think you're weird). Mack 'em, mutah 'em, and move on. And then lust won't be so much of an issue anymore, I don't even bother with it that much since I know I can get girls when I want 'em, it's enabled my to focus far more on my Deen and my taqwa. Face it brother, some of us are cut out to be all puritanical but most are not, some of us just have more testosterone and would make better libertine Muslims rather than puritan Muslims. As long as you worship Allah and not some chick, you've got nothing too serious to worry about. The best way to control the nafs is NOT to control it too tightly, once you've done some mutah and had your fun, you realize that the forbidden fruits are not all that special, flesh is flesh and every woman's got some, they are all more or less equal except for looks, and once you feel that reality in your bones you're no longer so obsesses with women. They're ahlul kitaab? Great, mack 'em, maybe doing mut'ah can also become a chance to do da'wah with them too, make Islam attractive rather than repulsive and closed-off.

I realize my advice may not be very popular here, but after years of doing the whole "fighting the nafs" thing and getting nowhere, this actually proved far more effective, also made me more confident and increased my Iman, boosted my integrity in other areas of my life as well. If you're shy and don't know how to play the game, get the book "The Art of Mackin'" by brother Tariq Nasheed, you'll learn tons of useful info and NO it's not all about sex, it's about charisma and getting your lust HANDLED like a real gentleman, so you CAN control it, instead of oppressing it to the point where it gets out of control and controls YOU!

WARNING: I am not a scholar (though I considered becoming one) and this is NOT a fatwa, so it's up to you which decision to make, I'm only putting this out there so that brothers have more options. If you fear sin, then get good at repenting cuz let me tell you, you will ALL be sinning throughout your life, whether you have sex or not, whether you mack pretty girls or wait 30 years to marry the old ugly broken ones, and some of you will inevitably start committing sins far worse than zina (sins of the tongue for example, backbiting is far easier and more evil than zina).

So take this all in perspective.

Edited by Shia Shahid, 30 April 2010 - 02:21 PM.

  • wayfarer. likes this

#22 Basim Ali

Basim Ali

    Unity - in all walks of life

  • Mods
  • 4,658 posts
  • Interests:Servitude of my Lord and the closest ones to Him

Posted 01 May 2010 - 12:33 AM

(salam),

Salams bro


You've already received some valuable spiritual advice from other brothers. So I'd just suggest some practical 'things to do'.

1) Go get a job

2) Keep trying 1)

3) If you hate 1 and 2, find other means of making money.


Cz financial security is a Must. It makes you an eligible bachelor.

And you'd be silly if you're planning to 'remove lust'. hehe Cut your willy for that'd help, i bet ye. jk

You just need to manage hormones bro. But managing doesn't mean eliminating desires. It means dealing with them by finding appropriate solutions. Appropriate solutions include fixing your state of mind, keeping yourself busy, seeking goals in life, being productive in society, understanding that all this effort of yours is worth more than 100 of years of worship of abideen. Last but not least, finding halal means.

Fi-Amanillah

Agreed 101%! :yaali:

Lust is a desire induced in you by Allah, pretty much like hunger and thirst. You can't really 'prevent' or 'remove' it. There are times when you have to control each of your desires, as a test. Hunger and thirst, while fasting; and lust during the first few years of your youth.
The question really should be how to control it, and not how to get rid of it [even though, I do know you meant the former]. :squeez:

Spiritual strength and development of the mind and soul is very important for one to control his desires, so that he stays firm and determined not to surrender himself to the calls of Shaytan. This could be achieved by reading about Jihad-e-Akbar, and motivating yourself to remain steadfast on the right path. Praying on time, will help too.

Practical tips would be not to shave your pubic hair and fast as frequently as possible. This is advised to us in ahadith:
Once a man came to the Prophet and said, "I do not have the (financial) ability to marry; therefore, I have come to complain about my singleness." The Prophet advised him how to control his sexual urge by saying, "Leave the hair of your body and fast continuously."
- (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 178)

Imam 'Ali says, "Whenever a person's hair increases, his sexual desires have also decreased."
- (Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 178)

Try never being alone; as an Urdu saying goes, 'An blank mind, is Shaytan's house'. Keep yourself busy [with something interesting!].

wa (salam)

Edited by Basim Ali, 01 May 2010 - 12:41 AM.


#23 Devout

Devout

    Real eyes realize real lies

  • Unregistered
  • PipPip
  • 439 posts
  • Religion:Islam
  • Interests:Life

Posted 01 May 2010 - 03:21 AM

Salaam,

The Prophet Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå said, ‘Every one of you should be modest in front of his two angels that are with him, just as you would be modest with two righteous neighbours that are with you day and night.’[Kanz al-`Ummal, no. 5751]


Yeh, I heard in a lecture that when Imam Ali(as) had to go to the restroom, he used to ask the Angels not go with him because of shame. The kind of shame that you're to have infront of Allah(swt), although he is the creator of all things and his angels.

So just think about that, I personally have changed alot of my ways just because of the angels :Hijabi:

Good Luck

#24 Son Of Adam

Son Of Adam

    May Allah Curse the Opressors of Ahlul-Bayt

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 383 posts
  • Location:Sydney, Australia
  • Religion:Islam - ÔíÚÉ Úáí

Posted 01 May 2010 - 07:38 AM

(salam)

Hey guys thanks heaps for your replies, ill do my best to follow some of the good advices i have received. Although some of the replies were quite funny lolll.

w/s

#25 sukaina_08

sukaina_08

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPip
  • 408 posts
  • Location:Indiana

Posted 04 May 2010 - 06:16 PM

Salam bro,

Although I'm female, I can attest that females get tempted too. I have a slightly different experience in that I only converted to Islam 2 years ago, and experienced the impact Islam had on my life with full mental awareness since I came into it as an adult. I can remember the first time I tried to 'lower my gaze.' I had just listened to a lecture on it and thought it was pretty intriguing, so when I went to the gym, I tried it. Instead of watching everyone around me (particularly the guys), I tried to just focus on what I was doing. When someone walked by that caught my eye, I would consciously make an effort to look down. I was sooo amazed at how well it worked for keeping my thoughts and desires in check. Really, as others have pointed out, lowering the gaze works wonders, it really does. Occasionally I'll find my thoughts starting to wander, so I'll remind myself to keep my gaze in check, and lo and behold, problem solved.

And yes, working out does help reduce desire... As long as you really exhaust yourself though. But, it also works the other way around, fyi.



Reply to this topic



  


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users