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-Fatima-

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About -Fatima-

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    فكل النوائب تسلى لدى نوائب خير النسا زينبِ
  • Birthday 05/04/1995

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  • Location
    Brisbane, Ausralia
  • Religion
    Muslim - Shiite

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    Female

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  1. No, all the women I'm speaking about from my environment and first hand experience. They wear Hijab the way their friends wear hijab or try to be accepted by the west. I am between these women, so I think I know what I'm saying. You do feel alienated when you're not going with the flow. Hijabis here always follow a trend. Always. Whether it's tribal patterns, to bow tie scarfs, to wearing necklaces on their head, it's all with the flow. I know they want to wear hijab, but they feel you can be modest and fashionable at the same time, western fashionable. They put on the scarf with their own will, and countless times have I had them say: "Look we live in the west, we can't dress Islamicaly" but that's only because their idea of Islamic is covered in black head to toe in three sets of different abayas. And the beauty standards you speak of aren't true here, maybe you're referring to Iraqi Arab or Saudi Arab women in regards to brown skin. No joke, 4/5ths of the women I know want to be tanner, because it's in right now. It is a social system. I've seen women change their dress code before me, day by day it would get worse, because they wanted to be someone they're not, including my own younger sister. "Clothing standards vary a lot though, and we can contribute instead of judging negatively how "immodest" or "immoral" some people wear. We can influence the way people wear by giving good example. Not in the way we wear, but in the way we treat other people. Some people who like, for example, celebrities like the ones from One Direction, Miley, or Justin Bieber, imitate the way they wear because they like them, not mainly because they like the way they wear. Everyone can actually influence the way the people wear, in a smaller scale, of course, instead of judging and looking down at those people because they don't wear properly according to the islamic teachings." Absolutely, instead of mocking others about their dresscode or even their actions, I've had GREAT feedback with some girls, I've gathered my sisters friends and spoke to them for example, just a general talk without mocking them, without threatening them, just a genuine talk, it did wonders for them, they loved it. They even want me to teach scripture at the school they attend now. Influence definitely plays a huge role, my friend, who originally dressed very well and then changed for the worse, when I became close with her and went out with her, she automatically cared more for her dress code, she began to change all on her own. The Imams were the most successful of teachers why? Because they were the best examples of role models, not because they were the prophet's descendants. And we have many hadeeth that proves religion is akhlaq, simple. Keeping in mind my knowledge of your sexuality, I agree with you in one way, however if a man wears a tight top, I don't see how that's against Islamic shariah, compared to a woman. It's not about overlooking men, it's about men and women being two different things that require two different rulings. Men have their own kind of Hijab, it is not like that of women's. It's true there are many women like that, but a fun fact, according to Sistani it is haraam for a woman to look at a man shirtless with or without bad intentions, but it's ok on T.V., not like my husband even let's me look at that :donno:
  2. Unfortunately in our society, immodestly dressed hijabis are everywhere now, not just in the west. I went down to Lebanon and Iran for a visit, I had a heart attack when I saw the Hijabis. In Iran they have red tattooed eyebrows and in Lebanon they have tattooed lips with 2 shots of botox pumped into them, their faces look like plastic. And I won't even begin to talk about their dressing. However, here in the west, women feel pressured by society to dress the way they do. I went to high school here, and every girl had a make-up salon packed in her purse, I felt left out. They dressed in tights or jeans with a top that just covers their behind (I don't even see that any more), crazy hijab styles, going out, listening to music, and I must say, coming from a religious family with an exceptional social/religious status, I STILL felt pressured and different, and leaned in at times. The truth is, you begin to think, it's just a little mascara, it's just one song, it's just one dress, he's just a friend, and next thing you know, BAM you've been sucked into the social system of acceptance and alienation, but I had my teachings as a child to fall back on, MANY women that I know did not have that, and rather, they educated themselves as they grew older. We live in a country where women are always dressed up, looking good, attracting others, and Muslim girls begin to feel dull, and unfortunately, parents don't plant religion in their hearts at young ages, so what happens? They give in to these temptations. I do not only blame the girls, nor their parents, but as a society we have a role towards supporting and informing these women, and even men, about the reasoning of modest dressing, rather than throwing a scarf on her head at the age of 9 and expecting her to learn all about Islam in the 10 short days of Ashura, or here's a good one "You're a Sheikh's daughter, you can't wear this" or "You're a sayeds daughter, you can't do that". We must educate our Muslim brethren rather than point our fingers at them and call them a joke. As for tight tops on men at the beach, what's wrong with tight tops >.> The small shorts (if they don't reach the knee), ok, you're right, but tight tops, I mean they're covered and men don't exactly have attractive assets. Its just chest, stomach and back. There is no ruling regarding tight tops on men.
  3. I agree with you brother, well said. Alhamdulillah we are planning to go over seas soon, which is terrific and will detox our bodies from the toxins we have absorbed being in this environment, I cannot wait. Yes my husband and I are from two different cultures but we're both of middle eastern background :) Inshaa Allah I will pm you soon. Thank you brother, this is spot on. That's exactly why I'm here, I don't want to be the stereotype "Nagging wife", other than these small arguments our relationship is great, and I don't want to ruin it with coming across as nagging or annoying. It's true, it is all in his hands at the end :\ It's incredibly difficult in the West, especially for men, I know. Khair inshaa Allah, many of these posts reassured me that it's quite common for these kinds of things to happen, I guess I'll just have to pray harder ^_^ God, that's horrible. Thank you so much, it's true. Sometimes speaking later and not in the moment he listens much more and gives me feedback, but when I tell him in the moment, perhaps he feels like I'm accusing him of something. Many times I point out things later, for example while we're driving, he completely agrees and works on it. He's such a beautiful soul, I just need to know how to approach him, and I need to learn to trust him more when it comes to his work, I've never worked in an office area, I'm guessing it's not easy Islamic wise. And as I said in an earlier post, women have estrogen on one side and shaytan on the other, I could be masking my jealousy with religious reasoning, inshaa Allah I'm not straying in anyway, jealousy is a very fine line, and most women fall into it. Again thank you for your post, it was very helpful. Thank you for the advice, however this isn't a midlife crisis lol. I know for a fact that he is very very attracted to me and our relationship is great and growing even better, that I can assure you. As for me, I'm young, childless and not working, so I think I can say I haven't let go of my appearance and weight. I'm not complaining about him hitting on other women or checking out other women lol, he definitely doesn't do that. I'm talking about ensuring he doesn't joke too much or feel too comfortable around other women in order to maintain utmost religious behaviour, which has been helpfully explained to me in other posts. If we had problems that lead to what you said in your post, lol trust me I wouldn't be here discussing this on ShiaChat. He's the sweetest thing and he definitely loves me, that I know ^_^ PS: I'm pretty sure he didn't play basketball with girls now, cause we spoke a little, even though he didn't tell me what happened, I can tell. They were probably just sitting and watching, I should learn to have a little more faith in him instead of letting my head wonder off. Over all, I'd like to thank everyone for their input, and I'm glad to say I got what I came here for. My prayers go out to you all and God bless :) (wasalam) I agree with you brother, well said. Alhamdulillah we are planning to go over seas soon, which is terrific and will detox our bodies from the toxins we have absorbed being in this environment, I cannot wait. Yes my husband and I are from two different cultures but we're both of middle eastern background :) Inshaa Allah I will pm you soon. Thank you brother, this is spot on. That's exactly why I'm here, I don't want to be the stereotype "Nagging wife", other than these small arguments our relationship is great, and I don't want to ruin it with coming across as nagging or annoying. It's true, it is all in his hands at the end :\ It's incredibly difficult in the West, especially for men, I know. Khair inshaa Allah, many of these posts reassured me that it's quite common for these kinds of things to happen, I guess I'll just have to pray harder ^_^ God, that's horrible. Thank you so much, it's true. Sometimes speaking later and not in the moment he listens much more and gives me feedback, but when I tell him in the moment, perhaps he feels like I'm accusing him of something. Many times I point out things later, for example while we're driving, he completely agrees and works on it. He's such a beautiful soul, I just need to know how to approach him, and I need to learn to trust him more when it comes to his work, I've never worked in an office area, I'm guessing it's not easy Islamic wise. And as I said in an earlier post, women have estrogen on one side and shaytan on the other, I could be masking my jealousy with religious reasoning, inshaa Allah I'm not straying in anyway, jealousy is a very fine line, and most women fall into it. Again thank you for your post, it was very helpful. Thank you for the advice, however this isn't a midlife crisis lol. I know for a fact that he is very very attracted to me and our relationship is great and growing even better, that I can assure you. As for me, I'm young, childless and not working, so I think I can say I haven't let go of my appearance and weight. I'm not complaining about him hitting on other women or checking out other women lol, he definitely doesn't do that. I'm talking about ensuring he doesn't joke too much or feel too comfortable around other women in order to maintain utmost religious behaviour, which has been helpfully explained to me in other posts. If we had problems that lead to what you said in your post, lol trust me I wouldn't be here discussing this on ShiaChat. He's the sweetest thing and he definitely loves me, that I know ^_^ PS: I'm pretty sure he didn't play basketball with girls now, cause we spoke a little, even though he didn't tell me what happened, I can tell. They were probably just sitting and watching, I should learn to have a little more faith in him instead of letting my head wonder off. Over all, I'd like to thank everyone for their input, and I'm glad to say I got what I came here for. My prayers go out to you all and God bless :) (wasalam)
  4. As long as you dont know either of us, he'll be fine. I respect what you mean, but brother truly, research it, not mentioning the name of someone (or hinting out who they are) doesn't make it haram.
  5. He won't be upset brother, he always tells me ask before you assume. I'm here asking. I reckon he would throw what Abu Hadi said in my face to be honest. I've written on SC using him as an example before, and I read it to him he didn't care because I showed him that no one knew me and my info is misleading. God is my witness that I am not asking to prove him wrong here or try prove myself right, I'm only asking to see unbiased opinions and Brother Abu Hadi hit the mark alhamdulillah. Inshallah I will private message you my question unless you prefer for whatever reason that I post it publicly.
  6. Thank you for your reply brother, I have no proof of him actually playing sport with the women, I'm only sure that they were there, but I just have my doubts because he became so defensive, instead of saying no or yes :\ It's just difficult when you're a woman you know, we have estrogen jumping around on one side, and shaytaan on the other -_- I want to monitor my nafs to not fall in inappropriate doubt or even worse, jealousy. That's why I'm here hoping to find clarification.
  7. Brother Sami, no one knows who I am at all on this site, nor does anyone know my husband, in fact I have false information about myself to ensure no one knows me here. Why don't I consult a sheikh? Because then my identity would be known and so my husbands identity would be known, and I'm too embarrassed to ask my husband for permission to approach a sheikh. As well brother I read some posts of yours that you have posted in the past in fact a few years ago and I wanted some advice from you, but didn't know if you were still active to message you in regards to a certain topic. Ok enough with the speaking ill -_- You can't do ghaybat without exposing an identity, I've attended hawza long enough to know this small rule. I am not speaking badly of him, as a woman I don't know how to translate his actions, are they good or are they bad. And this is when brother Abu Hadi clarified it to me, and everything is A-OK.
  8. Brother/sister, I am using ShiaChat for the sole reason of no one knowing who I am and who my husband is. Where I live and other details about me are false. No one knows me here, and no one that uses ShiaChat that I know, knows my activity on it, so don't worry, your practically speaking to a ghost. I never argued with him to add them, they added me, I asked him, he said no, I rejected them. Easy. But the thought lingered in my head. As for why, it is to know the state of my aunties, like I found out one of the has cancer at a high stage the other day, I would've known earlier if her son was on my Facebook. As for my profile I have no photos of my self and I post nothing related to me. IF I do post, it's regarding Islam or politics, and that's if. I'd love to tell you his side of the story, but he's not telling me, which is why I'm here to make sense of his behaviour. As for your harsh way of describing me, tell me how deadly I sound to you, me and my husband have a pact that if he ever meets a woman in serious need, he will marry her, and I'm absolutely fine with it. I'm not here lashing out of jealousy, I'm here simply seeking answers, I have also held back on details that I believe may be helpful, but because I have too large a conscience I'm not posting it, EVEN THOUGH no one knows who I am or who he is. I have no reason to make him look bad, if you would like to give me advice on how I should behave or why he is behaving how he is, then please do so, if you have anymore accusations, please, I have no interest in hearing them. Brother Abu Hadi, I thank you for your reply, it was most helpful. He has a friend that is very knowledgeable but I'm far too embarrassed to bring it up in front of him, or even ask my husband to allow me to. I feel like it's not my place. As for spying astaghfurAllah, I know his Facebook password if I wanted to spy, but I never touch his account unless I ask for permission, and even that I don't do, I thank God for that little bit of self control I have lol.
  9. Yes it is true, however there is a verse that also says practically "And you will not be able to but try and God will forgive" so, not so myth. Brother Abu Hadi, I completely agree with you. However, is it normal to have your mate's Muslim sister that dresses inappropriately (without a hijab of course) and say it's a valid reason, or even have girls you knew 7 years ago or more? I don't understand this. I mean, men are more likely to fall into sin by looking at a woman, rather than for example, him not allowing me to have a cousin over seas that added me, isn't this double standards in one sense? I'm not using the "he can so why can't I" card, I just truly want answers cause this really gets to me sometimes.
  10. (salam) Dear brothers, I have been married for over a year now, and both my husband and I try to be practicing Muslims. We stay away from haraam alhamdulillah as much as possible, however as a newly married couple we still have our arguments and misunderstandings. I among other things, have a certain problem. It's jealousy, however not the usual jealousy in women, and I try to suppress it as much as possible, and I know that the jealousy of a woman is kufr. However when I am jealous, I believe it is because of Islamic reasoning and logic. For example, my husband has women on his Facebook, multiple that dress inappropriately, i.e. short dresses (keep in mind my husband does not allow any men on my profile even though I upload no photos of my self, including cousins overseas and such). Now, I've brought up the subject of "Why do you see it necessary to have women on your Facebook?" and he'd reply something like "Oh they're friends from highschool, or she's my mates sister". I think we can all agree that there is no such thing as friendship in Islam between the opposite sex, I know these are women he is not in contact with, yet he insists on keeping them. If I dare open up the subject he would get incredibly angry and say I'm just jealous of other women. But I truly mean it when I say that is not the case. He always claims that he has ghayrat over his women, but I believe that a man should not have ghayrat over his wife/sisters/mum yet have no ghayrat towards other people's women, it doesn't make sense to me. And it's not like they're scarfed modest women, they're mainly westerners or on the edge Muslims. And another thing he says "I know what I'm doing" or "men have the right to marry more than one wife", but I don't see how that relates in any possible way. I see this as completely illogical. I realised at one point his relationship with co-workers became a little comfortable, so I pointed it out and again he snapped calling me jealous and I don't know what he does at work. But for example he received a birthday card from his co workers and certain women wrote personal joke calling him "my Arch nemesis" that's not something someone would exchange in a professional relationship. Today, he had basketball after work and when he was telling me a story, I realised he made a joke with one of the women, but that's not the problem, I realised that there was a decent possibility that women were also playing basketball with them. I asked him if he played with women, in a normal manner and tone as if it were the rest of our conversation, and again he called me jealous and said "I played with ten women" sarcasticly and then he made another sarcastic remark about women that hurt me. He didn't reply to my question and asked me to leave him alone. If I knew my husband was a guy that didn't care for religion, I'd drop the case. But the thing is we always talk about reaching the ultimate goal and that's being devout followers of Imam Mahdi A.S. I point these things out truly for religion's sake, and that I find it surprising that my husband would say or do some of the things he does. I feel like my husband sways in the environment you put him in, put him with a religious group of guys, he sways towards them, send him to work, he sways a little towards them, and truly Imam Ali says tell me who your friends are I'll tell you who you are. What I want to know is the brother's' view on this, especially the married ones. Is this just how all men are? Is what my husband is doing truly considered ok by men? And do men think because they have the right to marry four, they can look at other women (even though I know the answer to this)? Also, I'd like to add that during the time we were getting to know each other, he would literally give me his Facebook and say delete anything you want. I feel like during our marriage he fears of being controlled by his wife, on multiple occasion he said things like you don't control me or I'm the man.
  11. (salam) I know of women who sell there hair either online or to beauty stores, but is it permissible for a woman to sell her hair knowing that whoever turns it into natural hair extensions will wear them out. And if the case was to donate your hair to be made into wigs for children with cancer that have lost their hair in chemo, would the ruling be the same?
  12. Dialogue With Homosexuals

    Salam brother, A while ago I watched a lecture regarding this issue by the lecturer S. Ammar Nakshawani. I know he isn't a scholar but he does cover his topic nicely, while others never tackle this issue.. Have a listen, you may pick up on a few ideas: This is a lecture that I plan of watching, I'm not sure what's in it but you may find something of use:
  13. Focus In Prayers

    Salam brother, I've actually purchased the book, I have it. I completely forgot about it! Thank you for reminding me ^_^
  14. Camel Urine Halal?

    Perfect, I sure do. Thank you very much! Wassalam
  15. Camel Urine Halal?

    Absolutely, thanks for that. If you do come across one of the hadeeths you speak of, please do post it.
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