Jump to content

starlight

Moderators
  • Content count

    4,746
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    31

starlight last won the day on September 3

starlight had the most liked content!

About starlight

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Religion
    Shia
  • Mood
    Bored Zzzzzz...

Previous Fields

  • Gender
    Private

Recent Profile Visitors

26,648 profile views
  1. Henna/mehandi spot in the morning

    There is nothing in Islam about mysterious appearance of henna on your hand. You must have gotten it from some girl during the ceremony.
  2. sister wont go to majalis

    I get the impression that you think no one here is good enough for you. Then why ask for advice from us?
  3. sister wont go to majalis

    Clearly you haven't got any empathy.
  4. Heartache

    Enough!! He was nothing special,just an ordinary boy who tagged you along while he dated and later married another girl. He didn't treat you with respect but you are too blinded by the thing you call love to realise this. Any self respecting girl with some sense of self worth wouldn't waste even a minute over such a loser,yet you spend day after day thinking about him, complaining to Allah, drowning in regret over not making enough efforts to win him over. If he had wanted you he would have come for you,simple as that. It was not your job to keep him interested. You are better than that, you deserve someone who will make you happier not leave you more miserable, someone who will bring you closer to Allah not leave wondering about His mercy, someone who treats you with respect. Realize your self worth,act with dignity and make the decision to STOP thinking about him RIGHT NOW.
  5. selling roasted clay..

    Oh yes. I always use it in face masks in summers lol but it never occurred to me that I could eat it too...After bhon'na of course.
  6. selling roasted clay..

    You mean this ? Or this? *scratches head*
  7. Trust in relationship

    Sis, I told you earlier. You have to make the decision whether you want to continue the marriage or not, keeping in mind the fact that you cannot change or fix him. He might stop lying or cheating or he might continue. You have to decide keeping in mind the social, financial and emotional factors involved in a marriage and breakup. 1. In case you decide you cannot put up with his lying then have a frank discussion with him. Tell him to clean up his act if wants the marriage to continue or you are leaving. 2. In case you want to be with him (for any reason financial,kids,you still love him, whatever) be prepared for certain things. -This won't be an emotionally fulfilling relationship. -In order to keep peace in the home for the sake of kids you will have to stop asking him about his whereabouts, stop questioning where he is spending his time basically ignore everything while still performing your duties as a wife.If you choose to stay with him because of the kids nagging and fighting will defeat the purpose. - As soon as you can, start working,make friends, start a hobby, keep yourself busy with healthy activities, take active steps towards staying mentally strong and positive. - never bad mouth your husband in front of your kids and family, no matter how hurt you ar. I know at least a dozen women with husbands like yours. There were women who after 20 + years of being in such circumstances have turned into emotional wrecks.They had neither the strength(or developed the skills) to survive in a situation like this (not blaming them) nor the the ability to call it quits at the right time. They kept sinking deeper into a hole due to the constant cycle of fighting,accusing,spying and getting hurt. Then there were others who lived with lying,cheating husbands and difficult as it was maintained both a pleasant disposition and a home environment for their family. They busied themselves with activities that helped them grow spiritually and socially.In my experience I have seen their husbands eventually returned to them. So,the choice is yours alone. Only you know your strengths,weaknesses ,your emotional capacity to deal with it,your financial circumstances,the social pressures.Don't rush, take your time,think calmly, ask Allah and Imam e Zamana (as) for help in reaching the right decision. My duas for your happiness!!
  8. What is your favorite Noha?

    I posted this last year too. My all time favourite. I don't like the modern 'gay-fied' nohas.
  9. selling roasted clay..

    I can't imagine I lived my whole life in Pakistan and never heard of this delicacy.
  10. Trust in relationship

    This^^^^ I read your thread yesterday and had been meaning to add a reply but got caught up with other stuff.This is the first thing that came to my mind and I was praying you wouldn't have told your or his family. Husband and wife are 'garments' for each other and should cover each other's faults from the people. I wish you had controlled your emotions better then you did because you might be able to forgive,forget and move on but your mother and that friend never will. It would always be embarrassing for your husband to face them.Anyway, what's done is done. What he did was incredibly thoughtless and must have hurt you greatly. I am going to give you some advice which you might not like(lots of things I say don't sit well with most of the sisters here,lol ) but I am giving it the best of intentions and with the experience that comes with facing the ups and downs in life. First of all,and this is a general principle that it applies to everything in life and not just this situation. The only person you have control over is yourself so if you want to change a situation the only thing you can work on is yourself. Stop trying to change your husband,there are chances he might change(and I will do dua for you) but that change would come indirectly through you. By saying this I am not implying that you are a bad wife to him or you did anything wrong, but there is always room for improvement and what I said earlier that the only person you can change is yourself. First thing, you have to decide whether you want to be in this marriage or not. From your post I understand that you don't want to call it quits. If you plan to continue it's necessary that you do it with the decision that you will forgive him and move on from this incident. This means no reminding of the husband of the incident. If you do this will only result you becoming a bitter person and the two of you drifting apart. If you feel there is some things you need to say to him regarding this have a polite discussion, tell him how much he hurt you but don't rub it in his face every time you have an disagreement. If you keep shaming and humiliating him it means you are not giving him a chance to make amends. If you want to rebuild the trust in your relationship after this then you have to actually believe in him. Only you know what you need to start trusting him again. Do you want him to spend more time at home? Minimise work related socialising? Stop seeing the couple? While I know it won't easy for you to do but resist the urge to check his phone and go through his things in front of him or keep tabs on him all the time.Hypervigilance isn't a practice that will save you from future betrayal ,it will only serve to slowly turn you into an individual who is always on a global red alert and looking for lies not only in her husband but also her other relatives, friends etc. Mashallah, you have one baby with another one on the way (may Allah keep them both safe) is there a possibility that you have been so busy being a mother that you have been ignoring your husband's needs? Lots of women avoid being intimate with their husbands while pregnant for various reasons - right or wrong.If you want to have a better relationship you must be willing to do some self reflection and admit any shortcomings you have. Recite surah Naas and Surah falak regularly and ask Allah after every namaz to increase the love between you and your husband.
  11. We have completed the Quran but if you still want to recite a juz pick anyone you like or you can do Fatiha for him.
  12. Tattoos

    How cool is this I wouldn't mind getting a really small tattoo in a minimalist design.
  13. Maher for marriage

    He is wrong. It's still yours.
  14. how did y'all find the love of your life

    When : I was in my 20s and feeling very lonely. I prayed and prayed to Allah to send someone for me and He did. How: Someone fixed a date for us to meet.I had seen a few blurry pictures and but that was all apart from all the conversations I had in my heart (and some in an audible voice,sitting alone in my bedroom) so it was kind of a blind date but I was already in love.I even bought presents for the first meeting. I knew it was going to be special and I wasn't wrong because in the months that followed our first meeting we spent hours talking, sometimes staying up whole nights together. So on the day, it took quite a long time for us to meet because a journey had to be made but it was so worth it! The minute I heard her crying for the first time I fell even more deeply in love even though I was still groggy from the anesthesia and in lots of pain after a difficult labour. My little bundle of joy,my daughter,(one of the) love(s) of my life! Where: In a hospital, lol.
×