Jump to content


Forum Administrators
  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Qa'im last won the day on March 24

Qa'im had the most liked content!

About Qa'im

  • Rank
    The Hadith Guy.

Profile Information

  • Religion

Previous Fields

  • Gender

Recent Profile Visitors

53,170 profile views
  1. Is This Hadith Sahih

    If there is one male in a group then the group is referred to as a masculine plural.
  2. Is This Hadith Sahih

    The narration is found in the Ja`fariyyat: : أخبرنا عبد الله ، أخبرنا محمد ، حدثنا موسى ، حدثنا أبي ، عن أبيه ، عن جده جعفر بن محمد ، عن أبيه ، عن جده ، عن علي ( عليهم السلام ) ، قال : من أراد منكم التزويج فليصلّ ركعتين ، وليقرأ فيهما فاتحة الكتاب ويس ، فإذا فرغ من الصلاة ، فليحمد الله تعالى ، وليثن عليه ، وليقل : اللهم ارزقني زوجة ودوداً ولوداً شكوراً غيوراً ، إن أحسنت شكرت ، وإن أسأت غفرت ، وإن ذكرت الله تعالى [ أعانت ] (١) وإن نسيت ذكرت ، وإن خرجت من عندها حفظت ، وإن دخلت عليها سرتني ، وإن أمرتها أطاعتني ، وإن أقسمت عليها أبرت قسمي ، وإن غضبت عليها أرضتني ، يا ذا الجلال والإِكرام ، هب لي ذلك ، فإنّما أسألك ولا أجد (٢) إلّا ما مننت وأعطيت ، وقال : من فعل ذلك أعطاه الله ما سأل الخبر. You can read about the book here: http://ar.wikishia.net/view/الجعفریات_(كتاب) It seems to be narrated by al-Ash`ath, from Musa b. Isma`il b. Musa b. Ja`far, from his father Isma`il b. Musa al-Kadhim, who reportedly authored the book. al-Ash`ath is reliable, but Musa b. Isma`il b. Musa b. Ja`far is majhool. There doesn't seem to be much information about him. Personally see nothing wrong or strange with the narration.
  3. Your everyday outfit?

    Suit and tie every Friday to remind the students that jum`a is a special day
  4. Wa alaykum assalam, By the night when it covers, and by the day when it appears, and by He who created the male and female: Surely, your efforts are diverse. (92:1-4 Will try to answer this question in a few stages. 1. We are all from Adam, and Adam is from dust. The base identity of every person is that he or she is a creation and servant of God. Regardless of one's sex, race, or even religious beliefs, all humans are created to manifest the glory of God. The Quran and hadith often refer to all human beings as `ibad (servants), all of which abide by His will (30:26). The natural intuition of the human being is submission to Allah - it is what the `aql inclines towards. Indeed all of creation is a sign of Him, and all of creation worships Him. Humans have been given a will, and with that will, a human can either reach his natural telos by developing his intellect, mastering language, and representing God; or by giving into ignorance and base appetites. In this sense, man is both celestial and earthly, spiritual and natural. All humans have a common, meek, worldly state, but the goal is to humbly ascend back to God. 2. Sex and gender are different. Sex refers to one's biological anatomy, while gender refers to one's social identity. The two are interconnected and do not vary independently, but it's important to make the distinction. Before the 1960s, gender was mainly a grammatical term used to describe words and inanimate objects - most languages have masculine and feminine tenses, and gender was not really used to describe people. Later, gender was used to describe the socially-constructed identities and behaviours associated with manhood and womanhood. So men as a gender had "masculine traits" (strong, independent, hard-working, etc.), and women had "feminine traits" (nurturing, emotional, etc.) Similarly, individuals would mix and match these traits, saying that they were male with some effeminate qualities or interests, or females with masculine qualities or interests. With the idea of gender fluidity, some feminists and LGBT activists began claiming that gender, which is largely social, can change willingly or unwillingly, and so one can be anatomically male but have a female gender, or be anatomically female and have a male gender. 3. Islam is, generally, sexually dimorphic. This means that there is an explicit recognition of two sexes. The Quran speaks of the male and female, believing men and believing women, and in some cases, different laws and guidelines are given to the two sexes. The implication is that, the two sexes are equal but different - both are human, both are servants, both have free will, both are capable of the highest good and the lowest evil, but due to their biological, psychological, physiological, anatomical, chemical, and social differences, there are some legal differences between the two. Our sex is not our essential identity, it is [philosophically] an accidental quality, and so the dimorphic laws that exist are not there to put one sex above the other, but rather they are there for our own worldly interests. In one narration, Imam ar-Rida (as) was asked why women inherit less than men, and his reply was that women receive a mahr, and a husband's wealth is distributed to his family. So inherent in his reply is some principle of equity. 4. As Muslims, we should probably ignore most of the debates on "gender". There is currently an obsession and fixation on the 70+ genders, "masculine" women, "effeminate" men, non-binary people, transsexuals, gender neutrality, what aspects of gender are socially-constructed and what aspects are biological, etc. Some of this is a pushback against the Victorian era's very elaborate version of what a male is and what a female is. The logical conclusion of all of this is to put gender aside. What is solid much more solid than gender is sex, which has a chromosomal basis - 99.98% of people are sexually dimorphic, and the exceptional mutations are not a "spectrum". The Imams of Ahl al-Bayt (as) have even given guidance on those few people who are born with both sexual organs - they have said that the working/functional genital is the sex of the baby; and so the other genital can be discarded or ignored. What is even more essential than sex is specie, and what is even more essential than specie is our status as a creation. 5. By putting gender aside, it does not mean that sex does not exist. Western Liberal Individualism makes the individual the basic agent of society. Their abstract of the philosophical individual is basically an androgynous, raceless, religionless, ageless blank person, who should be given as much freedom and agency as possible, so long that it does not harm anyone. All debates in Western society, from guns to taxes to drugs to gay rights, are just fine-tuning of this abstract of the free individual. We however do not subscribe to this paradigm. Even those thinkers who produced this paradigm (John Stewart Mill and others) didn't claim that it was the end-all be-all metaphysical truth of human existence. We believe that Allah created us to know Him (51:56), and the first step to knowing Him after we have established His Existence and the validity of His Messenger (s) is to submit to Him. Then, it is to trust Him, then it is to always be wary of Him, then it is to know Him. Part of understanding this reality is accepting the fact that there are sexes, and that sexes are not just a figment of our imagination - they really exist, and they are different. 6. There are rules, and there are exceptions. The rule in warfare is that men are more physically and emotionally capable for conscription. The exception is that boys and elderly men are not fit for warfare, and so they are not conscripted. Many similar rules and exceptions apply to issues of sex. One problem with the neomasculine movement is that not all men are Arnold Schwarzenegger, and in Islam not all men have to be. Similarly, not all women are soft and motherly, and Islam does not dictate that they need to be this way. Find what you are comfortable with, so long that it fits within Islamic ethics and justice. Technically, in the shari`a, a woman does not even need to cook, clean, or breastfeed her kids, all of that is her prerogative. 7. Although there are exceptions, be mindful of extreme ideologies. Human nature does not change overnight, no matter how progressive or "woke" a society is. Some of these ideologies have become a gateway drug to apostasy, and women (and now MGTOW men) are reaching for them because they can't find help or answers in our community. There is much more to say on the subject, but this is a start.
  5. It’s relative to how often you’re getting to see them, how open and transparent they are as a person, how intuitive you are, how stable you are, and how many second opinions you’re getting. We can all agree that one week is far too short. Between 8 months and 2 years makes more sense, depending on the above factors.
  6. In response, Assad would doubt al-Qaeda's existence: http://articles.latimes.com/2003/may/26/world/fg-briefs26.3
  7. Women's Intimacy in Marriage

    Islamic sexual ethics is all about pleasing the woman and recognizing her needs, which is the opposite emphasis of modern pornography etc. You can read the book “The Heavenly Path” online and it will go into detail about how a man must engage in foreplay, have good breath, have a good scent, and fulfill her needs. There is no denial of a woman’s sexuality. One of the Imams even said that although a woman’s sexual patience is 12x that as a man, her sexual potency is also 12x that of a man. That means, roughly, that once she is immersed into the act, she becomes very aroused and engaged. Sex between a couple is considered a good deed. Ethically, neither partner should ever deny sex. So let’s not mix up ethics and law, even if they are related. The law says that a man maintains the ability to deny sex for a maximum of 4 months, but it does not mean that he should.
  8. Women's Intimacy in Marriage

    As others have answered: the legal minimum for an able man is once every four months. It is mustahab for an able man to give her sex whenever she requests. It is wajib for an able woman to give her husband sex whenever he requests. Some hikma for why a husband is not obligated to give into every sexual request of his wife: An able man has more fiqh responsibilities outside the house: he must work, he must fight (if applicable), and he (according to some) must attend jum’a. These obligations override the wife’s sexual request, and it would be too difficult to call men back from their duties for sex. Remember that a man’s primary role is to be the provider, protector and uplifter of the house, and so he has to be able to make the judgment call. If there’s no birth control, and he does not have the means to provide for a potential offspring, then he must be able to say no. The hadiths also indicate that women are more patient with sex than men, so (hypothetically) they would not be demanding it as often... quality is more important than quantity.
  9. Unfortunately the logic among many in our community is basically: any story that does not fit the Russo-Iranian narrative is a conspiracy pedalled by the CIA and Mossad. Not denying the nefariousness of the latter, but Assad and Putin are no angels either. There have been over 70 chemical attacks in Syria in the last 7 years, and it is well known and accepted that the Syrian army has such weapons, and there is a long history of Baathist regimes using such weapons on rebels and on civilians. Not saying that every single one of these attacks was definitely a malevolent plan by Assad or the SAA, but independent investigative journalists like Eliot Higgins provide pretty convincing research into these sorts claims. And it goes without saying, the bulk of ISIS / Jaysh al-Islam / Jabhat al-Nusra and related groups should go straight to hell.
  10. The Divine Will

    There are indeed different narrations on "the first creation". Remember that mashi'a is both fi`l and infi`al. When one says mashi'a, they are just using a substantive formulation to make a verb into a noun. Otherwise, the mashi'a is just Allah's act of willing (sha'a), a verb, and that action is sempiternal. So thus, narrations that say that the Muhammadan Light is the first creation mean that it is the first creation after the mashi'a. The mashi'a is the process that births every thing in the creation. Is the mashi'a the same thing as the Muhammadan Light? The Muhammadan Light is the place (mahal) of the mashi'a. Imam `Ali (as) says in khutbat al-bayan, هو المكون ونحن المكان. He does not say نحن التكوين. So the answer is that the two are very closely related, like a glowing oil almost touched by fire but not quite (24:35).
  11. There is not much else to say - find specific religious goals that you two as a couple can work towards together. That can mean watching lectures together, attending majlis together, befriending religious friends/couples together, discussing ethics together (not just for future children, but ethical topics in general), or reading together. Ask yourself what "being religious" looks like for you. If he's interested in any of these activities, then that can make him more religious. If he won't budge, then he's simply not interested. You should also assess why you are having doubts at this point in the engagement. Is "I wish he was more religious" the real reason, or are there other factors. From your posts he seems to lack direction and structure in general. Perhaps that's the underlying reason, or perhaps you're just not ready to take the big step of marriage, or perhaps you lack trust or tawakkul, or maybe you're not attracted to him ... you need to search out the reasons within yourself.
  12. You have to unpack what he said theologically. In Christianity, hell is considered that which is outside of God's presence. Many Catholics don't see hell as a place where you are punished with fire by an external being, but rather the void of God's presence itself is a type of punishment.
  13. Adams Paradise

    Found the narration: 126 - وعن أمير المؤمنين عليه السلام حديث طويل وفيه وسأله عن أكرم واد على وجه الأرض؟فقال: واد يقال له سرانديب، سقط فيه آدم من السماء. From Amir al-Mu'mineen (as) in a long hadith in which he was asked about the noblest valley on the face of the Earth. So he said: A valley that is called Sarandeep, wherein Adam fell from heaven. This appears to be the place: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam's_Peak
  14. What are your opinions on Modern Dating?

    The institution of marriage as practiced in patriarchal civilizations was a corrective to hypergamy. Hypergamy is what happens when these institutions and customs fall and base animal nature is the law of the land. It is the pursuit of women to a small minority of high-status males who either would not or cannot keep them. The overall result is fewer marriages, fewer monogamous relationships, fewer fathers, a declining birth rate, more homosexuality, and interestingly, less sex overall. Marriage was almost a guarantee a few decades ago, but it is increasingly becoming luxury. Western societies have gone from 80% getting married to about 50%, and it is declining every decade.
  15. The Divine Will

    The first creation of Allah is His will (mashi’a). The mashi’a is a created light that operates on the realm of the creation and interacts with the rest of creation. Since the mashi’a is subject to change and affect, it is separate from His Unified and Unknowable Essence. علي بن إبراهيم، عن أبيه، عن ابن أبي عمير، عن عمر بن اذينة، عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: خلق الله المشيئة بنفسها ثم خلق الاشياء بالمشيئة. Imam Ja`far as-Sadiq (as) said, “Allah created the will (mashi’a) by its self. Then, He created the things by the will.” The mashi’a is one entity (ذات بسيطة) with four degrees (معلقات). These four degrees are His will (mashi’a), His desire (irada), His determining (qadr), and His actualization (qada). 3يا يونس تعلم ما؛ المشيئة قلت لا قال هي الذکر الاول فتعلم ما الارادة قلت لا قال هي العزيمة على ما يشاء فتعلم ما القدر قلت لا قال هي الهندسة و وضع الحدود من البقاء و الفناء قال ثم قال و القضاء هو الابرام و اقامة العين Imam ar-Rida (as) said, “O Yunus! Do you know what the will (mashi’a) is?” Yunus said, “No.” Imam ar-Rida (as) said, “It is the first utterance (الذکر الاول). So do you know what the wish (الارادة) is?” He said, “No.” The Imam said, “It is the invitation to what He wants. So do you know what determining (qadr) is?” He said, “No.” The Imam said, “It is designing and organizing the parameters from beginning to end. And actualization (qada) is the confirmation and the establishment of the thing.” The mashi’a and the desire (irada) both denote the same object. However, when used together, they refer to different degrees within the mashi’a’s process. The first degree is the wish for a thing, the second degree is the assertion of that wish, the third degree is the organization of the parameters needed to bring about that wish, and the fourth degree is its execution. All of these levels are really one process, but in our understanding, it takes place in four stages. Mashi’a is a unity of action (fi`l) and reception (infi`al). While irada, qadr, and qada are masculine activities, the mashi’a is feminine in its receptivity to all of these active phases. This way, the mashi’a constitutes both self-acting and self-receiving. This reality is called the Great Depth (العمق الأكبر). Shaykh Ahmad al-Ahsa’i uses the term “the Kaf that Encircles Itself” (الكاف المستديرة على نفسها) to describe the duality of the mashi’a, because a circled letter Kaf resembles the yin-yang, and a yin-yang represents the complementary nature of contrary forces. The mashi’a is compared to Adam and Eve, the first promulgators of their species, through whose dimorphic reproduction all people came into existence. There are two types of divine actions (ja`l ilahi) in the Quran: formative action (جعل تكويني) and designative action (جعل تشريعي). Formative action refers to creating, establishing, and building. Allah says, “[He] who made (ja`ala) for you the earth as a bed and the sky as a ceiling” (2:22). Designative action refers to divine selection and legislation. Allah says, “Allah has made the Ka`ba, the Sacred House, an establishment for mankind.” (5:97) These two actions are further duplicated inversely in a dialectical process, which we will describe later. The mashi’a exists on the sempiternal plain (سرمد), which is a created level of infinity that is beyond the rest of creation. Allah, however, is Eternal (أزل), and therefore beyond sempiternity. In Allah’s Essence (ذات), there is no action; and He is beyond understanding. In the hierarchy of creation, the mashi’a is the first barrier (hijab), and there is nothing beyond it.