Jump to content


Forum Administrators
  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Qa'im last won the day on September 22

Qa'im had the most liked content!

About Qa'im

  • Rank
    The Hadith Guy.

Profile Information

  • Religion

Previous Fields

  • Gender

Recent Profile Visitors

50,921 profile views
  1. Can I have mutah with different men?

    It does not matter if the questioner is a Salafi or a Shia. The truth is the truth, stand by it. There are no embarrassing questions in fiqh. If you are a virgin in fiqh (i.e. you have never consummated an Islamic marriage), then the declared permission of your guardian is necessary. If you have been married, or if you do not have a guardian and are totally independent, then your own consent is sufficient. You can have mut`a with one man at a time. If there is consummation in the marriage, then you must observe the `idda after your mut`a expires before marrying another man. Just keep in mind that permanent marriage is the ultimate goal. Try not to waste the opportunity if a decent man approaches you. You're at an age where attracting a man is easy, but that phase is over very quickly.
  2. It is probably a reference to being protective of the Ahl al-Bayt's identity and teachings in a time when they were in imminent danger. The hadiths similarly instruct us to refer to them collectively and vaguely in qunut, for example, "a'immat al-muslimeen". It wouldn't be a mutlaq statement prohibiting their names from ever being mentioned, but rather an instruction to be protective of their identity and teachings. See this hadith: حدثني محمد بن مسعود، قال حدثني محمد بن أحمد النهدي الكوفي، عن معاوية بن حكيم الدهني، عن شريف بن سابق التفليسي، عن حماد السمندري، قال : قلت لأبي عبد الله (عليه السلام) إني أدخل إلى بلاد الشرك و إن من عندنا يقولون إن مت ثم حشرت معهم، قال، فقال يا حماد إذا كنت ثم تذكر أمرنا و تدعو إليه قلت بلى، قال فإذا كنت في هذه المدن مدن الإسلام تذكر أمرنا و تدعو إليه قال، قلت لا، قال، فقال لي إنك إن مت ثم حشرت أمة وحدك و سعى نورك بين يديك A man said to Imam Ja`far as-Sadiq عليه السلام "I enter into the lands of non-Muslims, but there are some amongst us who say, 'If you were to die in their land you will be resurrected with them.'" The Imam عليه السلام asked, "When you are there, do you discuss our Order (wilaya) and call towards it?" The man said, "Yes." He عليه السلام said, "What about when you are in these cities, which are the cities of Islam - do you discuss our Order and call towards it?" The man said, "No." So he عليه السلام said, "Then if you were to die [while amongst the non-Muslims] you will be resurrected as a whole Nation by yourself with your light moving about in front of you."
  3. Patricia Crone suggested in Hagarism that the real Mecca would've been in Northwestern Arabia, but that conclusion was pretty much universally rejected by academia.
  4. Premarital intercourse

    In fiqh, the first reason for the istiHbaab of marriage is to exit sin. Bachelorhood almost always means that one is in a state of sin, either due to masturbation, gazing at women, fornication, adultery, prostitution, or homosexuality. Marriage takes one out of that state, because the outlet of a person's sexual attention becomes their partner(s). There are also many narrations about how the salat of a married person is worth much more than the salat of a bachelor - again, this is an encouragement to marry. Bachelorhood is makrooh, because it is more likely to lead to the sins mentioned above. Some narrations say that hell mostly consists of bachelors. Marriage is a relationship that is (1) before God, and so it has a divine bedrock, rather than simply a materialistic or emotional foundation. (2) It is signed with accepted permissions, and not just based on pick-up tricks or lust. (3) Rights are guaranteed for each partner and their children. Bachelorhood prevents humans from developing their realized natural potential. Humans are to become selfless in their spiritual development. The hadiths say that the best father is one who is good to his family, forgiving of them, works hard for them and gives them a generous amount of sustenance. A bachelor on the other hand works for himself, and does not develop the same sense of responsibility, patience, hard work, mercy, and selflessness in his singlehood. As for women, they are born with wombs as a part of their anatomy, and their realized natural potential is to become mothers, who are also selfless, giving up sleep/food/clothing/safety for the protection of their offspring. Without marriage, they may never develop the same qualities that a mother has just by being a mother. Having children is mustahab - some hadiths say that having many children will make the Prophet proud on the Day of Resurrection - so there is a civilizational aspect to having children (adding more Muslims to the Umma). Without marriage and children, a low birth rate will decimate a civilization. Its culture would die out, its old folks would not be looked after, its economy would fall apart, etc. This is a problem in Japan today, where the birth rate is low and no real immigration system has been put in place. In parts of Europe where the birth rates are low, Muslims are likely to becoming the majority population by the next century, because fewer Europeans are choosing to marry and/or have children. Sex is also considered a good deed in Islam, and a hikma may be because it is both healthy for the self and doing good for your partner. Rather than just "breaking up" or leaving suddenly ("ghosting"), Islam has a system of divorce which is much less whimsical. Divorce is very makrooh, and so there are many rules around it. A man cannot divorce his wife when she is on her period, a man has to support his wife during her `idda, a man must take responsibility for the sustenance of the children after the divorce, a woman cannot initiate a divorce except through a judge or a khulu` process, a man and woman can claim their own respective properties, and a couple must have two witnesses for the divorce to be valid. So, a marriage is robust, it has gravitas, it has rights, it is more structured and less fluid than a "relationship". Divorce is also makrooh because it often prevents children from growing up with both of their parents around. It also creates a public feud between at least two families and their associates. There is also a smaller chance of a divorcee getting remarried. And so very few divorces are painless. Without marriage, children born out of wedlock will almost always have a missing parent, and there are many studies on the affects of fatherlessness (for example) on a child. They are more likely to get into crime, illicit relationships, drugs, and develop mental disorders. There is also a sense of exclusivity in marriage that does not exist in modern relationships. In a relationship, there is no prevention of you or your wife having a secret relationship on the side, or cheating for one night, or breaking up and your wife having a new partner the next day. If there are other wives, the money and time of the husband is divided equally between them, which means that secondary wives cannot be secretive affairs. If there is cheating, it is a sin and it is punishable by law. If there is divorce, it is done institutionally (not through a text lol), and an `idda must be observed. If everyone got married rather than got into several relationships in their lifetime, there would be a lot less STDs around as well. I hope this was helpful.
  5. Imam Ja`far as-Sadiq [a] said: "It is called Bacca (Weeping) because men and women weep (cry) there." (al-Kafi, Volume 4) عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ مُعَاوِيَةَ بْنِ عَمَّارٍ قَالَ قُلْتُ لِأَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع أَقُومُ أُصَلِّي بِمَكَّةَ وَ الْمَرْأَةُ بَيْنَ يَدَيَّ جَالِسَةٌ أَوْ مَارَّةٌ فَقَالَ لَا بَأْسَ إِنَّمَا سُمِّيَتْ بَكَّةَ لِأَنَّهَا تَبُكُّ فِيهَا الرِّجَالُ وَ النِّسَاءُ
  6. Help

    Wa alaykum assalam, we will pray for you inshallah.
  7. Identity Politics

    For example, some people are very fixed on the whiteness or maleness of a perpetrator of a crime, rather than the crime itself. Headlines should not be focused on "black people did this" or "Muslims did that" or "the patriarchy caused this".
  8. Arbaeen 2017

    Beautiful story! Thanks for sharing.
  9. Identity Politics

    Activists today talk much of identity politics. Identity politics, also called identitarian politics, refers to political positions based on the interests and perspectives of social groups with which people identify. You may have heard people "identify as a gay person", or "identify as a black nationalist", or "identify as a vegetarian", or identify themselves with a certain race, nationality, creed, economic class, or ideology. They are then expected to behave and dress according to the mores of that identity. Discovering oneself is indeed a necessary process in the journey of life. It is common for Westerners to travel around Europe, flirt with Indian mysticism, or teach in east Asia in an effort to "find" themselves. So what is our true Islamic identity? One may say Shia, but to be a Shia of `Ali (a) means much more than to belong to a certain minority community. The Shia are an elite nucleus of believers. One may say Muslim, but even prophets Ibrahim (a) and Isma`il (a) had to pray for Allah to make them into Muslims - submitters to the will of Allah. The answer to this question may be in the famous saying, “Whoso knows his self, assuredly knows his Lord.” There are differences of opinion on the true meaning of this quote, but the commentary of this saying that this servant finds most consistent with the tradition is that of Shaykh al-Awhad Ahmad al-Ahsai. He says that the statement expresses conditionality (ta`leeq) to gnosis. The prophets, messengers, and deputies had a self-awareness, believing that their selves were a part of a grander creation, whose origin is Allah. He cites 41:53, 18:51, and a du`a’ of the 12th Imam that put the nafs alongside the rest of creation as temporal signs of an eternal God. Ahsai brings forward a similar hadith attributed to the Prophet Dawud, in which he says “Whoso knows the ignorance of his self, assuredly knows the strength of his Lord. And, whoso knows the incapacity of his self, assuredly knows the power of his Lord.” This is an expression of the weak, limitedness of man, which thus highlights the strength and capacity of Allah. This means that one must acknowledge the fact that he was created, and therefore, he is a finite and limited being in need of a Creator and Sustainer. One must realize the limits of his own power and his intelligence to understand He who is All-Powerful and All-Knowing. That is the beginning of the process of ma`rifa - cognizance of the Divine - where one surrenders himself in faith and in action to Absolute Perfection. So the true identity that a person must recognize is that they are a created servant who is in total need of God. We say "ashhadu anna Muhammadan `abduhu wa rasuluh" in the tashahhud, which acknowledges the servitude of Muhammad (s) to his Lord. This servitude is the key to true greatness, because one who is a slave to God cannot be a slave to worldliness. All people surrender, whether to their own desires or to an outside force, but if one's reliance is completely on Allah, he will be free from obeying others. One who fears only Allah does not fear anything else, which elevates his status in the creation. It is out of Prophet Muhammad's sincere service to Allah that made him the best of creation. Returning to postmodern identity politics: identifying yourself with what you eat or who you have sex with is very shallow. Food and sex are functions of the lower self. Identifying with a race is identifying with an accidental characteristic of yourself rather than your essential nature. As much as these "groups" may be relevant in today's world, we should not be fixated on `asabiyya (tribalism, group mentality), which was the underlining feature of jahiliyya. Identity politics can blind us from ethics, which is rooted more in verbs and adverbs than in nouns and pronouns. It can cause irreparable division and segregation. And finally, it can cause us to lose focus of our purpose and goal: ma`rifa. "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me." (51:56)
  10. Can God destroy Himself?

    God can do everything except that which limits Himself.
  11. going to a gay wedding

    “O Muhammad ask them about the town which stood by the sea; when they exceeded the limits of the Sabbath, when their fish came to them on the day of their Sabbath on the surface of the sea, and on the day on which they do not keep the Sabbath, they did not came to them We try them because they transgressed.” (7:163) “And when a party of them said, why do you admonish a people whom Allah would destroy and whom Allah would chastise with a severe chastisement? They said, to be free from blame before your Lord and that happily they may guard (against evil)” (7:164) “So when they neglected what they had been reminded of, we delivered those who forbade evil and we overtook those who were unjust with an evil chastisement.” “Therefore when they revoltingly persisted in what they had been forbidden, we said to them; Be (as) apes, despised and hated. (7:165)
  12. Allah says in 20:115 that Adam did not have the same level of determination as the Messengers of 42:13. The ulul `azm messengers (possessors of determination) were Muhammad (s), Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus. Each of them were given a scripture and a system of law that abrogated and replaced what came before it.
  13. Is "mansplaining" Islamically legitamite?

    "Ethics is rooted in verbs and adverbs, not nouns and pronouns" You must seek knowledge, even if it means going to the depths of the sea. Let alone only seeking knowledge from men, or only seeking knowledge from women. We don't accept the idea that only men can talk about men's issues, or only women can talk about women's issues, or only whites can talk about white issues, or only Arabs can talk about Arab issues, etc. This is a form of tribalism (`asabiyya). People of knowledge talk about whatever they are qualified to discuss. Yes, a woman can give a valuable perspective on women's issues, and teach men something that they may not know, but that does not mean that male fuqaha' cannot give a ruling in women's issues, in the same way that there are male gynecologists, white professors of African American history, etc. The idea of "mansplaining" emanates from a man-hating trend in third-wave feminism, which decries things like mansplaining, manspreading, and toxic masculinity. It is rooted in the idea that males are an inherently privileged yet subhuman class that collectively and institutionally oppresses women. But frankly there is no room for that in Islam.
  14. This is a legitimate grievance, and it's something that this faqir has also struggled with when looking for a spouse. To give the other side: Just keep in mind that women are completely different people when they are (1) single, before Mr. Right, and (2) married with children. There are even changes that occur immediately after delivery. Of course, like @notme said, you shouldn't marry someone whom you expect to change. But it is normal that women become more family-oriented and conservative after having kids. There are sisters that don the hijab after marriage and become hafithas of the Quran. Young singles in general are more experimental and often still haven't found their sense of purpose. So don't write off the "hijabistas" just yet. Sure, you could try your best to find someone more to your liking. But in the end, there are some devils that don the hijab, and there are some fine young Muslim women that are not there yet (sometimes due to their family). And we live in a time and place (the West) where a good man or a good woman is like finding the philosopher's stone.
  15. You think they are together, but their hearts are diverse. That is because they are a people who do not reason. (59:14)