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Love4the14

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About Love4the14

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    USA
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    Shia

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  1. Ms Fatima

    As bad as it sounds, your parents are not being logical if there are clear problems with the guy and you have made them aware. Like most desi parents it sounds like their goal is just to get you married as soon as possible. If you cannot see yourself being happy with him then don't marry him. You will regret it. Your parents will accept your decision with time inshallah and you deserve someone better
  2. Ghusl - Taking four hours!!

    Salaam what you are describing is frequent doubts since you are 'not sure' water has reached everywhere. In reality this is impossible bc standing under shower/running water and simply using your hands as is recommended to wash the body is more than enough to ensure water gets everywhere. It is impossible for any part of your body to still remain dry after being under the water ten or fifteen minutes (though some can do it faster than that) i suggest reading al falaq and an nas prior to taking your showers and hopefully this prevents waswas. And I agree with islands, this is obsessive compulsive disorder but I don't think you need meds if you just say to yourself that you are making your own life more difficult which is pushing u further from Allah. That in itself is a reality check. If you don't get a handle on this soon, you may start to hate Islam astaghfirullah or stop doing your obligations altogether. To expand on the above persons timer idea, set a timer and only allow yourself five min for each part of the body; ie 5 for head, 5 for right side and five for left side. When the timer is up, regardless of how unsure you feel, ignore the doubts and force yourself to move to the next step. This will take some time but ia you will get used to it. Also, are you sure you are not doing extra steps? From childhood I was taught that each part has to be washed 3 times, but then later I found out that head and each side is only washed once since shower water is continuously running. This saved me a lot of time.
  3. Are parents a bit selfish?

    I agree with the intent of OP's original post, it is not fair to bring up your child in an Islamic environment where they don't understand the language being spoken at the events. In fact it's downright illogical. How would desi parents feel if you asked them to go sit in a two hour majlis conducted in German for example. Allah has placed the responsibility for teaching religion squarely on the shoulders of parents so how will we answer to him about this one? I especially get depressed about this topic during moharram when I see my nieces mindlessly doing matam to nohey they don't understand. How will they possibly develop the same love for Imam Hussain (as) that we have?? In the defense of parents, it is not always practical to have English speakers bc not every center is able to get them. But in that case they should go the extra mile to be active parents and have discussions with their kids- and not just rely on the center to teach their kids everything. I for one rely on YouTube for English lectures during Ramadan and moharram if my local center does not have an English speaker. I think I'm getting more thawab from understanding and learning from what I'm listening to, rather than sitting there in the majlis and being zoned out during urdu Moulana. This will def be a challenge for the next generation.
  4. Love vs arranged marriages?

    There is no such thing as 'halal' friendship. Marjas have said that friendship between na-mahram is haraam
  5. Waiting Until Marriage: Backlash

    Why is everyone using the term repressed. You realize that we only consider ourselves 'repressed' when we compare ourselves to the rest of the non Muslim world which is loosey goosey and has no limits or respect for their body or heart. Following Allah's rules does not make u repressed, it makes you guided and keeps you out of trouble. I get that it's frustrating but life is full of trials and the whole point of Islam is to fight our nafs to please Allah. He doesn't just hand us reward if we don't work hard to submit to His will. Patience is about being content even when we don't get the things that we want. Also to the person who said they think kaafirs are 'lucky' for being able to date and do what they want , please open your eyes to all the harms of dating. This is a really basic part of our religion , why would you say that others are lucky for being allowed to sin, it means you have no appreciation for the wisdom behind Allahs laws. Sorry to be critical but it's a very ignorant thing to say.
  6. Eyebrows ?

    I can't believe I just called someone sister strawberry
  7. Eyebrows ?

    Sister strawberry if you are still active on here could you post a link for where you got those Ay Sistani fatwas? I tried googling and couldn't find it
  8. American healthcare is absolute robbery

    I'm sorry but how is it 'not acceptable' for a surgeon for example to earn 3-400k? The guy spent years in training, performs 8-12 hour long surgeries, to replace a human being's joint or transplant an organ and let's say he does that a few times a day, most days out of the year? I would say its unacceptable for him to be paid any less than that. I kind of resent The phrase 'raking in' which makes it sound like the money is coming for nothing when in reality they are providing a pretty major service to someone. Why am I even trying to prove that doctors work hard for their money?! I don't want anyone to think I don't sympathize with the struggles of working class families, but you are almost implying that doctors are profiting off the overinflated cost of healthcare, when that is not really where most of our salary comes from.
  9. American healthcare is absolute robbery

    Wow. As an American doctor I am really shocked by some of the posts in this thread. All this talk about doctors being 'overpaid'. Please don't pass judgement on the entire profession, if you have no idea of the hard work, training and day to day complexity that goes into having people's lives in your hands. I am a primary care doctor in the northeast and I make far less than that number cited by guerrilla above. In fact I'm sure there are pharmacists, businessmen and college professors that make more than me. Of course if it makes you feel better, 28% of my salary went to taxes last year. Student debt is huge as others have said, and it takes the average doctor 10 or more years to get out of it even with a six figure salary. Also Salary is dependent on location, demand, specialty and many other factors. The average radiologist or orthopedic surgeon makes 2-300K more than me. We are both doctors but his/her skill level is much higher than mine. So yeah. They should get paid more than me. That's the reality of the job. I really don't have any knowledge of how much docs in other countries get paid so I can't speak to that, but I would imagine if they have better healthcare systems then their work is probably much more streamlined; American doctors have so much more work, and the nature of our jobs is different thanks to all the headaches created by insurance companies- so I think we deserve to be compensated for that. It's like comparing apples and oranges guys . Totally unfair. Do you know how many times a day I get phone calls from pharmacies saying the drug I prescribed is not covered by a patient's insurance company and can I prescribe something else? It leads to back and forth phone calls, paperwork and other hoops to jump through just to get one simple thing for my patient. And there are countless other examples. I agree the system is terrible and healthcare should be cheaper or free but I don't feel that doctor salaries are to blame. Now if you want to talk politics there are lots of physician groups like the AMA that for various different reasons have created obstacles for healthcare reform but that's a whole separate topic.
  10. COPYRIGHT issue of NOHAS

    Question: A lot of Islamic books and software have copyrights on them. What is the Islamic view of copyrights? If I photocopy a book or duplicate a CD with a copyright am I doing a sin? Answer: It is permissible, per se, to make personal use of such copyrighted books and software. http://www.sistani.org/english/qa/search/59892/ hope that helps
  11. Mahrams

    That doesn't make sense. My uncles uncle is the same person as my mothers uncle since my mother and my uncle are siblings. So if my mothers uncle is mahram so is my uncle's uncle!
  12. Mahrams

    Is it necessary to wear hijab in front of your grandmothers brother? I.e. My mothers uncle?
  13. I need to lodge a complaint about the online registration. Why are we required to indicate our 'body type'? I think that is a little surprising that a religious organization is emphasizing looks. We all know that it's important but it is not what we are supposed to be looking for and we should definitely have the option to leave that blank. The organizers should ask themselves whether this reflects well on the goal they are trying to reach. I was completely insulted as a hijab wearing woman that I need to describe my body type in an online profile. Gross! I know no one on this forum is responsible but I just felt like venting. Definitely not filling out the online profile. Will do the paper one when I get there
  14. Let me tell you from personal experience - guys that act all religious and drop Hadith left and right are just trying to manipulate you and twist around the religion for their own ends (getting you to do what they want). Esp that nonsense about Imam Mehdi (as) not wanting women to work. Was this guy completely oblivious of the fact that Bibi Khadijah had her own business and used her money to help the Prophet (saw) spread Islam? and I agree with notme- never assume someone will change. Personalities will never change and you are taking a huge chance on the rest of your life and your children's lives if you make that mistake. So not worth it. There are much better guys out there, you just have to be patient and whatever you do, don't give in to pressure from family if you see red flags. You are the one who has to live with the guy....
  15. I heard recently that it is allowed to do wudhu with nail polish as long as one nail is exposed. Is this correct? I was under the impression that all parts of the arms and hands had to become wet. Please provide fatwas if possible
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