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Abu Hadi

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Abu Hadi last won the day on December 10 2016

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About Abu Hadi

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    Dearborn, Michigan, USA
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  1. Salam Sister, You are depressed because you feel hopeless, and you feel hopeless because you feel as if you have no security or stability in your life. We all have a strong need to feel safe and secure in our own homes. If this need is not being met, it will have severe consequences, one of which is depression and hopelessness. If his abuse is chronic (happening on a daily, weekly, etc basis) and not related to a specific incident(like if you did something extremely bad, over the top, that brought shame to him and your family), then most likely it will get worse. This stuff tends to escalate. You don't want to take that risk. Don't gamble with what is most valuable. If you feel like you life or mental stability are at risk, you need to physically remove yourself from that situation, period. Whether that means staying with a relative, friend, shelter, etc. A close relative who is not directly connected to your father is the best option. Even if you have to leave school for a little while or go to a different city. And if this is the case, forget about what your family, friends, community, etc with think or what non muslims will think about Islam, your health and safety are more precious and important than those things. If your worried about your college being delayed, colleges will always be there, you may not be. Allah(s.w.a) says in the Holy Quran, 'Allah will never change the condition of a people until they change what is in their own selves'. In other words, if you show that you value your own life, which Allah(s.w.a) gave you as a precious gift, then Allah(s.w.a) will help you thru others (you may not know who those others are at this point). If you don't show care and regard for your own life and health, then this is equivalent to showing ingratitude and disrespect toward Allah(s.w.a), since it is Allah(s.w.a) who gave you life and continues to sustain your life, and put you on this earth for a purpose and for a reason, although you may not know what this reason is yet.
  2. Salam, I just wanted to give my heartfelt and sincere apologies to the brothers and sisters for not being in contact with them over the past months regarding this project. I think I took on too much with this. It was really affecting my work and also my marriage due to all the time it was taking, many messages that I had to respond to(I won't go into how exactly that part worked, but you all can probably take a good guess). When it started to affect my marriage, I decided that I really couldn't carry on with it. I had to make an 'executive decision'. Although this project was important to me, my marriage and my family were more important. I still think the project is a good idea, but I think there are some details that need to be thought thru a little more, like how the work will be distributed amoung the members of the team, and how and who will respond to messages. If anyone would like to continue the project, I could act as a 'consultant' but as far as 'day to day' operation, this would have to be done by someone else. The personal issues I had because of this project actually lead me to believe that I shouldn't be advising anyone on topics of marriage (or anything else for that matter) since it seemed to me that I can't even handle my own marriage, which was in a downward spiral at that point (alhamduillah things are better now).
  3. Where are you brother? The project is lost?

  4. As Mumin and Muminat, we should give others the benefit of the doubt. If she says she was only with Mahram and it wasn't beer, then we should believe that. Some people will say that's being stupid and naive and from the image it's clear what she is doing. But we don't know the context of the photo. So better to be on the safe side. And spreading around information about haram things people do in private (if they are muslims) is gheeba (if what she was drinking was actually beer, she wasn't doing it in public, according to her).
  5. We had another session Last night. Went much more smooth than the first one. The problem was we couldn't all get on at the same time, like I planned. So we did multiple sessions in smaller groups. For those who participated, I am going to be contacting all of you, iA, regarding potential matches.
  6. And people wonder why we , as muslim, say alcohol is haram. This is a good example of why it is. Because I am quite sure that there is not one of these addicts that didn't start out with alcohol, then escalated to drugs. In American society, becoming intoxicated with alcohol is acceptable in certain situations, and those situations are not 100% clear cut, so the situations expand until sometimes, someones whole life becomes ruined and their children's lives also. In Ashtabula County, in Ohio’s northeast corner, the number of children in court custody quadrupled from 69 in 2014 to 279 last year. “I can’t remember the last time I removed a kid and it didn’t have to do with drugs,” says Mongenel, a quick-witted redhead. Her clients range from preschoolers who know to call 911 when a parent overdoses to steely teenagers who cook and clean while Mom and Dad spend all day in the bathroom. Often, the kids marvel at how quickly everything changed—how a loving mom could transform, as one teenager put it, into a “zombie.” http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/07/children-ohio-opioid-epidemic/ We would like to think that this epidemic is limited to non muslims or maybe non shia, but it isn't. Although it is less, it is still there. That is why I tell all brothers and sisters that if they have surgery or a procedure and they are prescribed opiates by a doctor, they should not take them unless the pain is unbearable and they are unable to function. Once the pain is at a level where they can go on with their life, then stop taking the opiates immediately and throw them away in the garbage. Don't think that you have to take all the opiates that the dr prescribes to you. Also, you should educate yourself about what medications you are taking and how they affect your body and if you have chronic pain, it is very unlikely that opiods will solve your problem in the long term. You need to do research and consult knowledgeable people until you find the root of the problem. And have patience, for truely Allah(s.w.a) is with the patient ones.
  7. Female Shia revert Marriage Rulings

    Salam. It depends on which marjaa you follow. (I am assuming since you are Shia, you follow one, if not, you should try to do this ASAP). Sayyid Sistani(ha) says it is intiyyat wujubiyyat (it is wajib out of precaution) to get fathers permission, whether father is Shia or Sunni. Imam Khameni(ha) says either wajib or ihtiyyat wajib (not sure but these are almost the same) to get fathers permission, whether Sunni or Shia. There are other marjaa, such as Sayyid Rouhani, that say it is not wajib but mustahab(recommended). The exception to the rule would be if one of the three cases apply to you 1) You father and paternal grandfather have both died. 2) Your father has told you explicitly that he doesn't want to be involved in your marriage or choice of partner 3) A man has proposed to you and asked your father's permission, and you find his Deen(religion) and Aklaq(manners) to be acceptable to you, and wish to marry him, but your father refuses to give you permission to marry him for reasons other than his Deen and Aklaq. In those three above cases, his permission is not required (wajib) or even mustahab(recommended).
  8. In the late 1990s, pharmaceutical companies reassured the medical community that patients would not become addicted to prescription opioid pain relievers, and healthcare providers began to prescribe them at greater rates. This is called 'plausible deniability'. That is all the pharma companies and the doctors were looking for. They didn't want to get sued. There was never really any solid scientific evidence for the case that patients wouldn't become addicted. Like was said above, opiodes have been around for more than 1000 years, and a large percentage of people who begin using these on a regular basis have been getting addicted for more than 1000 years. Medicine is a business in the US, period. Pharma and doctors have the same main concern, which is making a profit. Everything else is so secondary it's almost irrelevant. Opiods make a patient temporarily docile, which means hospitals spend less resources on them in the hospital, and in an outpatient setting directly after surgery or some other medical procedure. Less resources spent on the patients means more money for them. They know fully that after that short period, when the patient is out of their care (and can no longer sue them), a certain, maybe large, percentage of the patients will suffer with addiction, but when your only concern is the bottom line, you don't spend much time thinking about that. It is the nature of the current version of capitalism currently practiced in the US that is the problem, and that is destroying not only the US but the whole world.
  9. Salam, I sent you a pm ^ We had some technical issues setting up the first meeting. It was my fault. I was not familiar with how to set up a group conversation on skype. I am attempting to contact all those who registered for the session to see if we can do another one next Friday, Aug 4 at the same time, 9 pm
  10. The brothers registration is now closed for this session. 5 have been verified and approved. The registration is still open for the sisters, there are two slots left. Let's say 1 1/2 (There is a sister who is in the process of registering but we haven't received complete information yet). Sisters, this might be your last chance to seize this good opportunity to meet your future spouse !! For the brothers, I can give brief stats to encourage the sisters. All are single. All live in the US or Canada. 2 are South Asian, 2 Arab, and 1 convert / revert American Brother.
  11. Yes. There is also another sister who is also involved in answering emails. If you want to send something to me personally, you can send me a pm thru this site, shiachat
  12. We are considering having a seperate session for those living in the UK, and in the future, for those in Australia. It is not actually by country, although all of those who signed up so far live in the US. Anyone is welcome to participate, but the timing is the thing. The session is going to be at 9pm EST. In London, that would be 3 am (when most people are asleep). The philosophy of the project is this, Basically it doesn't matter where you live, as long as you are upfront with your potential spouse about where you live, and if your potential spouse accepts the fact that say he lives in the UK and you live in Bahrain (for example) and he is willing to go thru the steps necessary to bring you to the UK, then there is no problem with that. As many of you know, I was born and live in the US and my wife was born and raised in Lebanon. So I think people should be open, as far as geography, as long as potential spouses are honest and upfront with each other about their situation.
  13. We have three open slots left. The guys are winning, we need more sisters to register.....
  14. Br. Khalil Jaafar gave a good speech about this subject. I will see if I can find it. He said there are two types of Kafir, the fiqi kafir and the aklaqi kafir The fiqi kafir is the one who rejects the Shahadatayn (No God but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of God). The aklaqi kafir is the one who rejects any part of the Message of Islam which is clear (such as the prohibition against homosexual acts which is very clear). The aklaqi kafir may in fact be a kafir in reality, but we cannot say they are kafir in terms of fiqh and this is in Islam to preserve the social order and peace and stability in the community. But if someone openly rejects the sharia or parts of the sharia and it gets to the point where they are doing haram openly (as is the case with this 'couple'), the are fasiq. There are many provisions with dealing with fasiqeen, which basically, for all practical purposes, isolate them from the rest of the community (the cannot marry into the community, there testimony is not accepted, others in the community should avoid doing business with them because they are not considered trustworthy, etc). So probably what would happen is that they would leave the muslim community and go be with their kind, the kufar, LGBTQ..(not sure how many letters it is now, lol) and they could continue to claim to be muslim, but would have no connection to the muslim community in reality. This is the extent of our responsibility as muslims living in a non muslim country and having to deal with situations like this, which will probably become more and more frequent as we reach near the time of the Zuhoor and Faraj. May Allah(s.w.a) hasten the return of Al Qaim(a.f.s), inShahAllah.