Marbles

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Marbles last won the day on June 18

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About Marbles

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    علموں بس کریں او یار

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    Shabistan
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    Mussalman
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  1. I'm not advocating it but reporting from the point of view of the first wife who decides to go down that road! What people say they do and what actually happens are two entirely different things, aren't they. By making life miserable and gaining complete sympathy of the children (the older the children the better it works), the first wife makes sure the man knows this is the biggest mistake of his life. To assert control she also tries to have the man pass the inheritance/assets on to their children in case a new litter crops up from the second marriage and demands a share. The richer the man the more the emphasis on inheritance. When that happens the man is already living a miserable life, because both his wives are unhappy with him. He is at a point where if he doesn't divorce the first (which he won't due to children or loss of face), the second one threatens to divorce him. Polygamous marriages often spell a catastrophe for everyone involved. The first wife and children, the second wife, and the man himself, all of them are victims, but only seldom does a man realise that he is the biggest victim of his own choice! The man is Islamically within his rights to contract a polygamous marriage, but he needs to weigh up the consequences of his choice. Most often the consequences aren't pretty, not in contemporary desiland.. Making his life a misery is inversely proportional to the likelihood of his divorcing the first. A shrewd woman who wants to stay as legal wife with full rights would take care not to push the man beyond the tipping point. Divorce to first wife can happen, but it's tough when children are involved. The dad has already lost respect in the eyes of his wife and children, and at that point he would do everything to retain whatever little chance of improving the relationship he has with his children. In such a situation, it is often the second wife who is let go, because she is "new" and "expendable," and often a passing fancy for the man who married her in haste. The second wives often belong to lower socioeconomic strata, so she does not have the social capital to put up a stand against the onslaught of the first. @DigitalUmmah
  2. Don't divorce him. Instead make his life so miserable that he eventually divorces the second wife. Second ones are often a consequence of mid-life male crisis. Men realise their folly and tire of them rather quickly. You must have grown up children to 100% side with you. The man will soon realise what an idiot he'd been. Speaking from firsthand knowledge of having seen 3/4 cases in my social circle.
  3. Sehri for the last roza. Blessed are the men and women who invented the typical desi breakfast because everything else pales before it. This beautiful combo makes me salivate every time I look at it. Pity I can't eat it regularly if I don't want to have a heart attack.
  4. Dhakku is his name. Friends and foes both call him by this even though he doesn't use the name in writing. The pejorative word term which I've heard used as an insult is a spin on Dhakku, ie, some call him dhakkan. As you'd know, dhakkan is a slang term and is used as an insult. Anyway I like some of his points of reform but I've had a problem with the harsh and abrasive ways in which he communicates them. He wouldn't have got such huge opposition if he had developed better communication skills and showed a little tolerance to differences in opinion. But on some other issues, which @DigitalUmmah would understand, I completely disagree with him. I can't say how big an `aalim he is but plenty of people emulated him. I have always argued for resident maraaji, just as in the past, who know and understand the local/national situation and can be reached by the laypeople easily. It is a pity he is the only one who claimed that station but wasn't universally accepted.
  5. He doesn't kill the kid, because he realises that he has the the wrong guy. He slips off to find the real father of the technological revolution, but there are many who fit the bill. He drops the plan as he just can't kill them all and, like a Frankenstein's Monster, goes back to the future to kill the machine-master who had ordered him in the first place. Then he wakes up.
  6. This is not a legal matter so Ayatullah Sistani's reply is not binding. As others pointed out, you may marry her but it's better to help her find a single Muslim man. It is better if the new convert is not subjected to the drama that would enfold in the family if you do go ahead and marry her.
  7. Iftar dinner at my uncle's.
  8. Oyster sauce is vegetarian. There is no real oysters used in its preparation. I knew it but after I saw your post I thought I'd go and re-confirm. Real oysters are non-existent where I live and there's no one who would import and eat them. It's not part of the seafood menu. We don't get any seafood besides fish and it's been only recently that some people who have had exposure have begun to demand (and get) frozen prawns, shrimps and lobsters. As for Hanafi Sunnis deeming most seafood makruh, this might be so, but in my experience Sunnis over here eat everything from the sea. All kinds of fish, crabs, lobsters etc. Many Shias go out and eat the fish on menu without inquiring if it had scales or not. 80% the fish would be the right one for Shias but we still get other type. And guess what, sometimes the waiters and even chefs don't know if the fish had scales as it comes cut and cleaned in frozen boxes. Even if they could read fish's name they wouldn't know about whether it had scales or not.
  9. @DigitalUmmah I'd recommend a laptop with NVIDIA graphics card. It would certainly enhance your experience. Doesn't matter if you're not a gamer. I ain't either. A "gaming laptop" is just an advertising tool to say that the laptop is high spec because long hours of gaming requires fast processor, big ram, and good graphics card.
  10. I haven't checked the links but as a heavy user who would be using lots of application, you need a ram as big as you can find. Same with processor. Anything less than i7 would slow you down (sorry dunno about AMD and Apple). Also, please do yourself a favour and DO NOT buy a secondhand or refubbed machine. They are okay if you are a light user who checks his emails daily before going to bed or watch an odd 2-minute video on youtube wa bass.
  11. Like a phatta dhol... @starlight translate!
  12. While body language matters and, to an extent, tell the kind of relationship a couple is having, holding hands or generally showing affection is quite a cultural phenomenon and may not mean much in cultures where public displays of physical and verbal affection is uncommon and not given much importance. Even within a culture individuals differ from each other in how they display affection and communicate emotions to their spouses. So I wouldn't set much store by how much and whether or not an individual displays affection publicly (keeping the Islamic boundaries in mind). Personally, I'd be happy to hold hands if the situation calls for it, like when my male protective instinct are awakened such as when stepping on elevators, crossing the streets, hurrying through a crowd et cetera; but I wouldn't hold hands when we're seated for coffee and cake, or taking a stroll down by the corniche. I would have a full dictionary of sweet nothings to say to her in private but saying them in earshot or on social media is a no-no. And if she publicly said saccharine things to me, I'd probably die of sugar rush. I'm told that I'm an extremely romantic person but an outside observer wouldn't know it, because I'm also a very private person. My relationship with my spouse is liable to be misunderstood if you measure it by displays of public affection, or rather by the absence of the same.
  13. We have it all the time. It's not really something we miss living in Pak lol! When our relatives and friends from abroad come on a visit, we take them out to a nice restaurant with fancy international menus, just so that they can see how much our culinary habits have changed over the last couple of decades. But all they want to eat is roadside barbecue, chicken karahi, paaye, dahi bhallay and stuff like that. Anyway, I had chicken oyster sauce with garlic rice. Delicious....