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Amira00

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About Amira00

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    Islam
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    In the clouds

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  1. Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    I agree, but society doesn't encourage women to go into politics or other male-dominated sectors. That's why some view it as a problem because we're being told that we have equal opportunities but we're still discriminated against and ridiculed if we chose to focus on more STEM related careers. The same goes for men, except they're ridiculed for choosing careers that lean more towards the arts.
  2. Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    I'm lost here. Are you saying feminism leads to suicide which is "spoiled women who think they can have their cake and eat it too"?? When I asked you how it relates to your argument I was talking about the story about the girl who committed suicide- it was quite randomly thrown in there.
  3. Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    Firstly, this isn't a pro-life/pro-choice debate. So I won't get into that. Secondly, what are the realistic expectations? In my opinion, telling girls they can get an education and have successful careers just like their male counterparts isn't unrealistic. Finally, unless you somehow got into that girl's mind when she was committing suicide, I don't think it's fair to decide why she killed herself. Sure, with some suicides you can assume certain factors that could've led to it happeneing, but you can never be 100% sure about the reasons behind that persons choice. Also, I don't get how that relates to your argument.
  4. Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    Okay... so what is it you suggest? Should we raise all girls with the idea that women can only be housewives and work to serve their husbands so they never know about the inequality and sexism they're living in?
  5. Not allowed to eat

    In this instance, I dont see how the OP is making her mother's life difficult. Yes, it may be frustrating for her mother to see the OP look so ungreatful (when she actually has a mental disorder and she's not doing it out of spite), but the OP said she simply got up to wash the plate again. She hasn't mentioned that she constantly moans at her mother for the cleanliness of the plates, or starts fights because of them. The OP hasn't given us any reason to believe that she's making anyone's life difficult. The only thing she's doing is cleaning things more than necessary. Yes, it isn't ideal, and some may interpret the OP's behaviour differently if they didn't know that she suffered from a mental disorder. Also, although society does encourage and romatisise certain mental illnesses and disorders, people who actually suffer from them tend to be annoyed by the romanticisation and encouragement of an illness that has actually made their life harder and more frustrating. So most of the time, people with disorders like OCD don't appreciate the encouragement they get from Asian/Arab communities and try their hardest to get help that will allow them to deal with their OCD in a more constructive way.
  6. Not allowed to eat

    I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I always like to believe all mothers have at least a minimum amount of love for their children. At the end of the day, she carried you in her for 9 months then went through labor and then had to raise you etc. it's not an easy job at all. That doesn't justify her punishing you in such an extreme manner that you lost 10 pounds so quickly though. No matter what, you deserve basic needs and nutrition. Maybe try and sit her down. Speak to her, let her know how you're feeling. Idk if you've been diagnosed clinically with OCD, if you haven't, maybe try and see a doctor and get help dealing with it. In turn this would help you with your mum, because she'd realise that you're actually suffering from a mental illness and it's serious. It's not you just being fussy and ungrateful. Inshallah things get better for you
  7. Sharing expenses

    In my opinion, I think it's fair to a certain extent. Firstly, why is the wife not working? If she didn't want to work simply because She didn't want to and expected the husband to pay for all living expenses, I think that's very unfair. If the wife has a disability or illness hat prevents her from working, then maybe the husband should be a little more considerate. If the benefits the wife is receiving are more than enough for her to pay for necessities I think it's fair for the husband to ask the wife to contribute some of her allowance to the household.
  8. I agree 100%. But then that supports the whole gender neutrality / non-binary debate. Since there are no boundaries between being "masculine" and "feminine", and a man can in fact have traditionally "feminine" characteristics and vice versa, where does it come to an end? So, is gender in fact not binary? I find the whole idea of suddenly waking up one morning and "feeling" like a different gender doesn't make sense. But so far, we've come to an understanding that men and women share both masculine and femine traits. So...gender isn't a binary idea?
  9. Depression has nothing to do with independence. Well, for some people, lack of independance may cause depression because you feel trapped and used etc. But, alot of women are in fact independent but still depressed. The causes of depression are many, but the symptoms are often very similar. I dont get how its ironic though, do you mind explaining what you mean by that? I agree that society is hypocritical, men do suffer alot emotionally and in silence. But that also should not belittle female suffering, and all the inequality and sexism that takes place even in western countries. Both men and women suffer and both men and women are suffering because of the ignorance and hypocricy of the opposing gender. We should all support each other and accept we all fight our own battles, although some may be forced and pressured into suffering silently.
  10. I think alot of people on this thread have put alot of emphasis on wealth. If the guy isn't that rich, I dont think it would sway a girl if he had all the attributes she wanted/found attractive. In my opinion, at the end of the day, women want a guy who will make her feel happy, and treat her a his equal and not belittle her or treat her as simply a child-bearing machine. Especially for Muslim women in the west, it is most important for a guy to accept her independence and allow her to be. In my opinion, it is very unattractive if a guy (no matter how rich or good-looking) bosses his wife around, dictating what she does from the way she smiles to the way she dresses and speaks, when he himself is not the best Muslim, nor is trying to be.
  11. Ummm "women are more attractive when they are weak"??? I mean, I get where you're coming from, it feeds the male ego when a woman is vulnerable. I get how it makes a man feel strong when he needs to take care of and restore the strength of a wilted flower of a girl etc... But i think it is damaging for men to just always treat women as if theyre half broken and incomplete without their man to protect them. Firstly, men too are vulnerable and this suggests that men don't need nurturing and emotional support. This also suggests to women that they must always rely on their father, brothers, uncles, then husbands and sons. It's like were always being passed around from the possession of different men in our lives.
  12. Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    I do agree that some radical feminists are going too far and have distorted the actuall meaning of feminism. Feminism means the equality between men and women. We know they are not the same physically, but feminism demands that men and women are treated equally, I.e they both have a right to education, to work, to earn the same etc. But some radical feminists have taken it too far and have ironically become sexist themselves against men. Linking back to the physical differences between men and women, it's only natural that men take the labor intensive jobs because they are better equipped for them physically. That doesn't mean that only men take the labour intensive jobs, it just that only a minority of women consider themselves fit enough to do them. I don't understand where the unfairness is here. Also, being emotional is not a feeling restricted only to women. Men cry too, they get upset and angry too. Men go through the same emotions, but society has taught them to silence those emotions because it's "unmanly". Encouraging men to express their emotions can only be seen as right. I don't understand what you mean by "that advice doesn't work".
  13. Salam, In this day and age, gender has become very malleable. Characteristics traditionally associated with men are now also associated with women and vice versa. In my opinion, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it blurs the hard lines between the two genders. For example, men were traditionally the breadwinners of the family- we know that women can also be breadwinners of a family and that independence is celebrated. Men were traditionally thought of as very strong - women can also train physically to achieve the same physique. Women were traditionally the more emotional sex - we now know that its even harmful for men to suppress their emotions and we're seeing the idea of male vulnerablity being embraced and not just buried away. So, what exactly differentiates a man from a woman other than his sex? Note, I am talking about masculinity and femininity here (gender) I already know about the physical differences between the two sexes. In Islam, what is the definition of masculinity and femininity if even within the boundaries of Islam these ideas are being tested?
  14. Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    Where is the proof for all the statements you've made? Firstly, there are people who "don't value relationships" in every group of people and in both genders. I live in the west myself, so I dont really know where you're getting all this info from. Women do want relationships but unfortunately not many men accept a driven and powerful women, and it just hurts their ego. I'm not generalising; of course there are men out there who appreciate an independent woman, but at the same time alot of them don't. That explains why a woman may not necessarily marry at such a young age. Secondly, I assure you, in the west especially, it has been so much more accepted for women to marry/be in relationships with younger men than themselves. Hence it is also more acceoted for a woman to marry a man who is less educated than her, and earns less money than her. In the west, of all places, women are encouraged to continue working even into motherhood, so really I dont know where you're getting all these statements from. However, there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man with a similar intellectual capacity as her. You'll find that alot of marital problems arise when two people dont understand each other because of the difference in the level of their education. Sometimes - not in all cases - if the couple are not of the same/similar intellectual capability, then they won't get along, because they view things differently and may not necessarily get along.
  15. Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    How has independence suddenly become materialistic? Relying on one's self makes you strong. Not materialistic. When men become millionaires because they have been independent and determined from the beginning it supposedly makes them "inspirational" and "powerful". But when a woman wants to be independent and not rely on the charity of her husband then she is materialistic and power hungry. It's so hypocritical. in fact if a woman becomes "well-off" she will truly appreciate the gifts Allah has bestowed upon her. Once again, just generalising that only the women who become well-off suddenly lose their piouty and religiousnes. Men too lose their closeness to Allah (if they had it to begin with) when they become rich. It's human nature, everyone becomes infatuated with materialistic things when they do well financially, some people succeed in dealing with it and some don't. But being independent does not mean you're suddenly a millionaire and lose all connection with god. I think you've mixed the idea of independance and financial success. The two do not amount to each other. One may lead to another but they are not that closely linked.
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