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About Aflower

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  1. Ideal Looks of a Couple

    @Intellectual Resistance Do you seriously adhere to that routine? Impressive! Sorry I don't know if you are a guy or gal, but I've recently started the 14 step Korean skin care routine with Retinoid cream for added measure. Have you tried the before mentioned?
  2. SC Addiction?

    @hasanhh Good observation of the typo! Please do bear in mind that it's 3.27 am over here so I attribute the error to my lack of sleep.
  3. Stones

    JazakAllah khair @SIAR14 InshAllah I will watch this soon.
  4. SC Addiction?

    Salaam. MashAllah this is a fantastic website with invaluable information. On a very lighthearted note, does anyone think that they are addicted to Shiachat? I'm not saying it's a bad think BTW because it's a very constructive use of one's time. But be honest... are you itching to use the site a few times/multiple times a day?
  5. Stones

    Salam Brothers and Sisters. Could anyone please share any information (with sources) that they have pertaining to what stones we should have in our rings and most importantly WHY. In other words, what the benefits are of those stones. My parents are going on Ziarat soon and I wanted them to get me a ring from there. Also, I have been told that the stone in the ring must touch your skin when you wear it for namaaz in order for it to have the required benefits. But, I have never come across a ring where this actually happens. Thank you very much in advance.
  6. Would you marry her?

    Reading about your opinions without judgement has taught me a lot and it has allowed me see things in a different light. It interesting to try to put yourself, and then walk, in someone else's shoes, and then to try to understand how they came to their conclusions. However, I do think it's important to form your own opinions based on research and reflection. I have "liked" everyone's comments because I am grateful that you all contributed frankly and without any inhibitions. Thank you all for your honesty. My aplologies to @Be Human First. I can not "like" your comment on the basis that you outright disbelieve in Muttah. Even if on general principles you feel uncomfortable with this concept, I think may be you should consider that there may be exceptional circumstances where this is necessary because I don't think that we should draw a hard line on a matter that Allah has allowed.
  7. How did that happen?

    As always, a rational and balanced response from the perspicacious and perceptive @Irfani313. Thank you for your advise.
  8. Given that mutahs are allowed, would the brothers have an issue with having a Nikah with a woman who adhered to Islam in almost every way (i.e. wore a scarf, read namaaz etc), but had multiple mutahs previously? Would it bother you that your wife was not a virgin and had possibly had multiple partners; albeit in a completely halal and legit way? Please be honest.
  9. How did that happen?

    @Guest Account Ali Probably for the first time ever, I must accept that I agree with you on most of the points that you have raised. Especially your last sentence. But I must say that in all the years I've known her, I've never seen her even vaguely flirting with anyone and she definitely didn't want the baby.
  10. My close friend had a Nikah with someone when she was 18 and got divorced 6 months later. Since then she has been single as she chose not to remarry... or so I thought! This morning she told me that she was pregnant. Wow! I was in shock. This girl reads every obligatory and extra prayers that I have ever heard of. She is a walking talking Diniyat Encylocopedia who wears an Abba and a head scarf. Backstory - it turns out that she's had many mutahs. How? What? When? Where? These were just some of the questions that were spinning in my head. Cutting a long story short - she'd met all these shia guys either when she was travelling with a UK based group for Ziarah or on Islamic camps. The latest arrangement led to her falling pregnant and the guy said he wants nothing to do with her as his family would disown him and his fiance would leave him. I just want to warn all girls that although Mutahs are allowed - be very careful as the father of my friends child is now treating her like his dirty secret! Secondly, I just can't get my head around how a conversation between a guy and girl in an an Islamic environment transitions from discussing religion to asking someone to have a mutah with them!!! Are these guys preying on innocent and vulnerable girls under the guise of religion? Someone (or both) must be giving off some kind of signal or may be there is some flirting that goes on in the transition stage when they are communicating? It just beggars belief. I can outright tell you that if someone approached me for a mutah when I was single I would have given them a big tight slap. May be not physically, but I would have made sure that they wouldn't dare approach me again. How can anyone have the audacity to ask a complete stranger this? Is the practice of Mutahs now the norm? Is it just me that is living in Lala land? Views please.
  11. Dr Jordan Peterson thread *Change your life*

    What would we do without Amazon Prime?
  12. Judgmental Shias

    I'm so glad that this is being discussed because this is something that really irks me. "I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener" or the "grass is greener where I water it" are two of my favourite idioms. If only everyone focused on their own lives (and that of their nearest and dearest ones). At the end of the day; both in this world and in the hereafter that is all that is going to matter. In today's day and age where people can google information and fancy words in an instant; everyone wants to claim intellectual superiority in every aspect and wish to be recognised as an expert in all matters. Truth is that ignorant comments can be spotted from a mile off by those that are more well read/versed in a particular matter. I would personally rather stay silent (and educate myself later), than speak mindlessly (and subsequently come across as being a complete nincompoop), if I wasn't knowledgeable about a certain subject. As the saying goes, it's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt! I've noted that many wish to argue/debate for the sake of arguing/debating; irrespective of whether what they are saying is value adding or not. Furthermore, some people are more interested in "having the final say" even if it has no merit. The more discerning individual (be it in real life or the net) must learn to simply walk away politely from such individuals because there is no grace in this mindless banter that some people engage in/try to entrap you in, and one only serves to lose their own dignity by responding to people like this. When dealing with such folk there is actually more class in not rising to the bait; and simply smiling and wishing them the best before making a quick exit. Else one runs the risk of lowering oneself to the standard of the ignorant/hypocrite.
  13. Dr Jordan Peterson thread *Change your life*

    @Intellectual Resistance WOWZA... and to think that I've been "incriminated", so to speak, of micromanaging and over planning things all my life! Now this guy is the real deal and puts me completely to shame. I've only just watched the first 2 mins of the video and I'm on a complete high already (his energy and enthusiasm is magnetic and contagious); so I just had to comment that so far it's mind blowing. I can't wait to watch the rest of the videos in due course. Thanks you for sharing. I think I may just annoy the life out of a certain member of my family (who is rather laid back in life to put in nicely and tries to delegate everything to me), by spamming her with these links. HAHA. P.S. Thank you for responding to my other post so lucidly and sagaciously. I will respond properly when I sign in next IA.
  14. What advice would you give your younger self

    Young Pre-Marriage self Even though I've always had very strong instincts, and I was perfectly in tune with my mind and heart, I always put my parent's happiness/wishes/desires before mine and I've always followed all the advise they gave me (even if it conflicted with my views). With hindsight I realise that I'm the one whose had to live with the consequences of those decisions (such as pursuing a career that I find boring just because it was my father's dream). My parents always say that I'm the most perfect daughter that they could wish for so my sacrifices haven't been in vain; but I do wish I'd put my own happiness/wishes/desires first (at least occasionally) and pursued my own dreams too. Post-Marriage self (at the beginning of the journey) I consumed myself in trying to be the perfect wife, daughter-in-law and mother. I know that everyone gives me a lot of credit for being a great multi-tasker who brings light, happiness, organisation, purpose and direction to their lives - so my efforts haven't been wasted. My mum is so proud of me when people from the mosque/community tell her in awe that my children are exemplary both in deen, etiquette, academics and sports. My children are balanced individuals who adore me. My husband tells me that I am like gravity that keeps everything in it's place and without me they'd all fall - so, in that regards - yes I've got my dues. Yes, I've accomplished what I'd aimed to and got full credit for it too. But with hindsight I wish that I'd made more time for myself. Whenever anyone falls, I'm like their safety net - already prepared to catch them. Be it family or friends. Everyone knows I'll be there unconditionally. Sometimes I want to fall, and I want someone to catch me too. But everyone assumes that I'll help myself up because I know how to - so I suspect that no-one will ever think that they NEED to run to catch me (metaphorically speaking). This is the problem with being self sufficient and the rock in everyone's life! With reflection I wish that I hadn't filled all the voids and that I'd left space for a rock of my own. Religion I wish I'd mastered arabic sooner. Sorry - for the long message. I feel like I'm in therapy. Note to self - must do this more often!
  15. When the women is jealous

    @Guest Account Ali You stated: "And what theory do you disagree with? That men don't spontaneously cheat on their wives for the sake of it? That most men seek another wife since the current one is not meeting all of his expectations? Seriously, you disagree with this? I am a man, and I can assure you that we are not Hollywood villains that like to cheat on our wives for the thrill of it, or because we like emotionally torturing our wives. And I agree that most Muslim men and women seem to lack even basic knowledge of how to communicate with their spouses. And the whole spiel after that I also agree with". I know it happens in theory! That is exactly my point - it shouldn't happen and I don't agree with the practice of the above. Do you even read what you write? You yourself wrote: "And what theory do you disagree with? That men don't spontaneously cheat on their wives for the sake of it? You then go on to state: "Also, seeking another wife is not "cheating". You yourself described this as cheating. May be it was a Freudian slip because you yourself subconsciously do consider this to be cheating? This is a speculative observation - I'm not accusing you of this. You later said: "Also when I said "not doing enough", I meant in general behavior. I have no idea why such a statement of mine would remind you anything remotely sexual." Where, when and how did I say/indicate/suggest that your comment had "sexual" connotations? I did NOT. May be this is another Freudian Slip? Again simply speculative! You further state: "...be prepared to be insulted back. How very manly and noble of you... NOT! I'm sure that it is against SC rules to insult other members and if you dare to do so I will report you to the moderators. Please debate politely and fairly... and as the saying goes: if you have nothing good to say.. say nothing at all. I'm sure you've heard the idiom: If you can't take the heat then get out of the kitchen. Au revoir!