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Rayhana80

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  1. Divorce grounds

    But there are only few gentlemen who would give that liberty to their wives. With my husband it’s an everyday argument and he refuses. He says it’s haram to ask for divorce only on the basis of husband’s second marriage.
  2. Divorce grounds

    I know I was thinking the same.. how can that be possible??
  3. Justice between 2 wives

    I partially agree to what you said.. If a husband wants to take second wife or more, there should be some rules or checklist he has to follow: 1. Don’t just assume that your wife wouldn’t have a problem. 2. Stay upfront and open about it rather than being secretive and hiding it from your wife. 3. Consider your wife a human being and not a commodity, give them some respect and right to make decision whether she wants to stay or not. 4. Do not share one wife’s personal and private story with another wife just to make her happy. That’s another reason they want more wives so they can vent it out. How absurd! and so on, unfortunately men think it’s their right so they do not need wife’s permision and they can be just and fair with them. If being just and fair wouldn’t have been a big deal then why in Quran it says that you can’t do justice and Allah knows the best how mean and selfish men are.
  4. Justice between 2 wives

    So true.. I second that.. I have been going through the similar situation.. where first of all my husband secretly married someone without my knowledge for years and when I found out, he is not even ashamed and says it’s his right and he can afford it. His other wife knows about it from the beginning and he would talk about me behind my back to her and whenever we fight he would go and narrate the whole story to her to get her sympathy. I can’t even imagine how can a woman destroys someone else’s house like that. Now, my debate is if he wanted to have more wives he should have informed me at least, shouldn’t have assumed that I wouldn’t have a problem with it. He expects me to tolerate it and when I ask or divorce he says he will never do that.
  5. Justice between 2 wives

    JazakAllah khair
  6. Justice between 2 wives

    Can you please let me know the website or email address where we can post questions directly to the mujtahid? I asked them questions but never got any reply.
  7. Justice between 2 wives

    What!! None of the things you say make any sense. FYI Allah Subhana watala detest people who are proud and talk too highly of themselves. Where on earth the modest and humble people go? If you are debating on male taking another wife without his wife’s knowledge, is not cheating, then I will ask you of your input when your daughter’s husband takes another wife or two. It’s easy to comment on someone else’s situation sitting on your couch, but when your actually go through it, then you will wake up. May Allah guide us all to the right path!
  8. Justice between 2 wives

    Of course it is. Why does a man want more wives if he has one already? When you confront a man with multiple wives they start defending themselves saying that they can afford it or they have needs. What makes you think if a person intents to keep more wives he is serving the humanity? It’s pure lust. This world is full of selfish and insensitive men.
  9. Justice between 2 wives

    Well! Men like you use Islam according to what suit them. I have seen men hardly sticking to their daily prayers or obligatory duties and would focus more on their selfish needs. Women are human too, don’t treat them like doormats. If you have 4 wives I pity them, how can they tolerate a person like you who is so full of himself. There is a lot more in our religion beyond marriages.
  10. Divorce grounds

    JazakAllah for your input.. really appreciate it. My case is beyond that, he has a second wife and she has replaced me in his life.. I have never seen him doing thing he does for her which breaks my heart. Believe me I have always tried my best to keep him happy in whichever way I could. Some people are just ungrateful. I have left my case in Allah’s hand now, I know I did nothing wrong InshaAllah nothing bad will happen to me as well, and even if it did, I know it’s a trial from Allah and I will be patient.
  11. Divorce grounds

    My kids love their father because I do not talk bad about him in front of them. I want them to respect him not for what he did but for who he is. They surely do not like when we argue or fight so I keep them away from it and striving hard to work it out. It’s not easy! The thought of him cheated on me kills me everyday. I know i am not alone, there are many women going through similar situation everyday. May Allah give us all patience. Thank you for the input, and understanding really appreciate it.
  12. Divorce grounds

    Yes Alhumdulillah I am blessed with two beautiful daughters and one son.
  13. Divorce grounds

    Yes I am working right now.. I don’t need my husband’s money to support myself and my kids but he is still willing to do it.. it’s not an easy decision .. I have kids, can’t deprive them of their father love.. I believe in the saying when Allah brings you to it, He will get you through it ..I am being patient..
  14. Justice between 2 wives

    What are you talking about? Makes no sense at all. You can have as many kids as you want, you love them equally because it’s your own flesh and blood, how can you compare it to a man’s lust for more women? All I am trying to make clear is, if he really wants to have more wives he can go for mutah not a permanent marriage.
  15. Divorce grounds

    I appreciate your input but how will I able to trust him again? He has been lying to me for so long. I feel like cheated and disgusted as he has used me for his own selfish reasons. I am trying hard to make this relationship work but it’s not easy to share your husband, believe me. Had he informed me of his intentions before marriage I would have not pursued his proposal. I feel like he has ruined my life.
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