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About TheGreenWanderer

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    Level 1 Member

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  • Religion
    Muslim [Revert]
  • Mood
    'Smile even though your heart is bleeding'

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  1. TheGreenWanderer

    Revert Name Change Rant

    As-salaam alaikum I need to rant about this as a revert and find out if anyone else deals with this I'm finding frustrations with cultural Muslims once again. Because I'm a revert from a European heritage side, this question keeps appearing from born Muslims, 'what's your Muslim name?' Apparently to fit better into the community, I should compromise on my heritage to take an 'Muslim' sounding name Don't people realise names are cultural, not religious! This man made construct idea of 'Muslim names', that to become Muslim, you should have to take a new name, it's not Islamic based and I find it really insulting myself, especially coming from people you speak to the first time and it's one of the first things they bring up. Don't these people realise Allah has created nations and languages to be different, not to mention, when life is given your parents decide ones name and its respectful to your parents to accept this. None of the Prophets (PBUT) changed their cultural names when they received their revelations. The brother who proposed this today, he didn't even have a 'Muslim' name (I take comparison to names from the Quran here) himself, rather he was just from a cultural background with a history of Islam. Us reverts come into Islam through faith, not by culture and for myself, I'm not giving up my culture to fall into 'Arabisation', I'm proud of my history who has made me what I am and where I'm going. I take time to learn and correctly pronounce others names, they should show me the same respect. Has or does anyone else experience this same issue?
  2. TheGreenWanderer

    Wearing hijab to work for the first time

    Jazak'Allah sister! Although I'm a brother, I'm a revert as well and I recall when I 'put it out there' that I'm Muslim, which actually came through one of my coworkers talking about another who was observing Ramadan and how he had asked to have his times altered to leave early and that's when I revealed I was also observing it as well, that I'm Muslim and proceeded to request the same from my manager. Honestly, it takes courage and at first you may feel quite uneasy about it and the questions you're going to get asked or the reactions from people, you'll most likely experience some anxiety or uncomfortable moments, but it becomes a lot easier and then you'll feel stronger as you don't have to hide yourself anymore.
  3. TheGreenWanderer

    My First Ramadan

    I forgot to mention as well, you should look at keeping a journal through Ramadan and write down your realisations and learnings, so you can reflect on them at a later stage
  4. TheGreenWanderer

    Advice needed

    It's a sad day when a future father fears the opinions of his family rather then Allah, when he was able to commit the act without fear to create this unborn child with you in the beginning. He needs to step up and take responsibility. He made this choice with you and has resulted in your pregnancy, masha'Allah. It's not right that he expects to be able to just walk away from this, leaving you and the future child on your own, and just contribute financially. IMO, it would be correct for him to marry you, given the circumstances and step up to responsibility of supporting you and the child. The child is priority. I would discuss with him and set a time-frame where he needs to inform his family of what's happened, otherwise get involved with his family directly about the situation. This isn't about his reputation anymore, this is about the needs of a child that will be and the life which it grows up in, it's a long term consideration you need to think about. I understand you're not Muslim, but act honest, truthful and righteous in your intentions and actions here, do everything you can for the future of this child now and you'll have nothing to regret, even if at least it doesn't work out as planned, you know in your heart you tried your best and from our perspective he and the family will have to answer to this
  5. TheGreenWanderer

    My First Ramadan

    Wa alaikum salaam! I observed my first Ramadan last year, a few things I found myself... Meat was way too heavy to consume for suhoor and I would also avoid bread or other dry foods. Actually last Ramadan I had a consistent suhoor diet of wraps with salad, so much my friends got agitated by it It was light, but I found it worked better then trying to consume a heavy meal quickly and then feeling uncomfortable for the day. Make sure to drink a few glasses of water for suhoor too. I found around 2-3pm and onward concentration falls away if you're working, if you're studying start early morning. Buy dates for iftar, they are great. I also found coconut water is nourishing. This Ramadan I want to try some other things, I came across a few ideas Yoghurt blocks - add in nuts, fruit and other things you want and freeze them. Easy prepared snack. I heard its better for the body to drink water in small quantities rather then gulping glasses down like some do (or I did last Ramadan too) after fasting, so I'm going to get a bottle and rehydrate with sips over the time after iftar, or a glass here and there. I would say try at least one day prior to Ramadan to get used to the schedule
  6. TheGreenWanderer

    Tell me something about you!

  7. TheGreenWanderer

    Tell me something about you!

    M, Revert New Zealander - European with slight West African heritage INFJ, Studying political science Enjoy photography, writing, reading and travel Think about this 'What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?'
  8. TheGreenWanderer

    why men cant wear shorts in iran

    I like Iranian people even more, I don't like shorts What's opinion towards pants above ankle cut though? For example:
  9. TheGreenWanderer

    Recommended gifts for mom

    Thought - You could take her someone special, get someone to photograph the trip and then professionally get them printed & framed for to her. At distance, it would give her something to smile at each time she sees it at home. You could also add an enhanced touch when giving them over in telling her what she means to you.
  10. TheGreenWanderer


    As-salaam alaikum sister, May Allah reward you, I'm also a revert and I've been through the same challenges with those around you. But, I haven't found local Shia near my town to be able to discuss with in the first place..... but so far I've found the Shia community on here (Shiachat) have been very friendly. I'm still awaiting that opportunity to engage with Shia in person. Though I have experienced 'cultural Muslims' otherwise and they can make you feel like an outsider.
  11. TheGreenWanderer

    Most handsome Pakistani man attends Hajj

    Just looks like another 'Omar Borkan al gala' Do ladies really like this artificial look? To me, it looks designer feminine for a man
  12. Why are her family bad? You realistically have 2 options: Stay with her and do your best to improve your situation. Communicate with her about the problems you are facing. Communication is very important and goes a long way. I would recommend this first. Have a meeting, sit down and talk through the issues and listen to her thoughts on them. You have children now and must consider how consequences will affect them. Maybe you can both grow closer together through this and in faith, improving your situation. Don't run, talk to her. Divorce - only go down this option after you have tried everything else and there is nothing else you can do. But know, it's going to be difficult for your children.
  13. TheGreenWanderer

    Any Shia Gamers?

    I used to play video games at times, such as Arma 3 Crusader Kings II Total War (Medieval II, Empire, Attila) Amnesia: The Dark Descent, SOMA, Outlast... Rise of the Tomb Raider Elder Scrolls
  14. TheGreenWanderer

    Your everyday outfit?

    Long sleeve shirt (can include kurtas) or polo (usually wear something over polo though) Hoodie or wool top Relaxed fit trousers or jeans Long winter coat Flat Tennis shoes (my legs hate anything with an unnatural raised heel) Preferably have been shifting my colours primarily towards black with the addition of a few green items. Sometimes I'll wear a shemagh as well. When it comes to headwear, I like my diversity of hats (kufis, ushankas, beanies, caps etc.,)
  15. TheGreenWanderer

    Need prayers to get married

    Where to find sisters who are willing to talk? Some that I just greet with a general friendly 'as-salaam alaikum' give me the reaction like 'what? really, did you just speak to me' negative vibe