Jump to content


Basic Members
  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Profile Information

  • Religion
    Muslim - Shia

Previous Fields

  • Gender
  1. Parents Mistreat Wife and I - HELP

    Thank you all for taking time to respond. I feel better knowing that people understand my situation and agree that distancing myself is probably the best thing to do. Prayers and love to you all! @Ron_Burgundy - this is great: A Warning Islam has given parents so much right on their children. But it does not mean that the parents have been given licence to ill-treat their children. Tyrant parents are a danger to Muslim society and family. As a check against such high-handedness, the Holy Prophet has said: “Allah has cursed those parents who (by their behaviour) compel their children to disobey them.” How can this happen? If the parents themselves do not care about the rights of their children; if they do not give proper religious education; if they neglect their character-building; if they put so much burden upon them that is beyond their strength; if they behave towards the children tyrannically - then it is they who are compelling the children to revolt against them; and they will become candidates of the above-mentioned curse of Allah.
  2. Parents Mistreat Wife and I - HELP

    @Hameedeh - Thanks for your advice. Going to their home is out of the question at this time. Perhaps if things improve, I will attempt this. Unfortunately, ever time things improve, we go right back to having issues again. It's a vicious cycle and my parents just will not admit their faults or let go of the past. Please pray for me!
  3. Parents Mistreat Wife and I - HELP

    Yes, please...feel free.
  4. Parents Mistreat Wife and I - HELP

    @Hameedeh - I actually changed my door locks last week. This was very difficult for me, but I do not feel safe knowing they can just come in any time. I own my home...bought it by myself. I even sent my parents to Hajj a couple of years ago. I paid for 80% or so of the costs. My hope was that they would see the wrong in their ways and come back improved. They did not change A BIT! Its so sad. If Hajj doesn't change a man, are they beyond hope?
  5. Parents Mistreat Wife and I - HELP

    Thanks to those who responded. Some friends have also told me to limit my interaction with them. This is what I'll be doing for now...we'll see how it works. Perhaps my silence will show them that I do not appreciate their actions.
  6. Parents Mistreat Wife and I - HELP

    Any way possible, sadly. On the phone, when we visit them, when we run into them at gatherings. It's like any chance they get to hurt us, they do it. We even had an incident when my wife's cousin was visiting our home from out of town. My parents were upset that her cousin did not visit their home. They drove to our home, and barged in unannounced (they have keys to my house). They proceeded to speak disrespectfully about us to her cousin. The situation is a HUGE mess. I can write a book about incidents I have had. I'm really at the end of my rope with all of this after the most recent episode. This is why I posted here. I'm desperate for some direction on this. I have spoken to a couple of moulanas, but they give very politically correct answers always supporting my parents. I just find it hard to believe that I have no rights in the matter and my parents abuse their "power." They believe it is their haq, and have literally told me this.
  7. Parents Mistreat Wife and I - HELP

    WS - We do not live with my parents. We did, initially after marriage, but I moved out with my parent's permission. Truly, I needed to get out of there for our well-being.
  8. Salaam - I have been married for 6 years and God has given me a wonderful wife, Alhamdulillah. This was a semi-arranged marriage. My wife and I have a great relationship and a lovely daughter. The problem I have been struggling with since we got married is that my parents mistreat my wife. We dealt with it for a while ourselves, but after a couple of years of dealing with it, we told my wife's parents. My wife's parents confronted my parents and since then my parents have basically turned on my wife and I. My parents practically hate my wife and her family now and get upset with me for supporting my wife. My parents are wrong all the way around and refuse to admit they're ever wrong! My wife and I have tried everything we can to please my parents, but they are constantly upset with us. I am sick and tired of the situation! It's a constant source of stress and worry in my life and is having a negative impact on me and my wife's health. I'll also add that my parents don't get along with anyone in their own family. They find negativity in EVERYONE and cut them off over the smallest disagreement. Now they have done the same with my inlaws and wife. I say all this to ask...how much am I expected to bare? I know I should respect my parents, but shouldn't they respect us also? They keep mentally and emotionally abusing my wife and I. It's not fair that they can keep treating us like garbage and we're expected to behave and respect them. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Jazakallah.