Islandsandmirrors

Advanced Members
  • Content count

    638
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    2

Islandsandmirrors last won the day on May 9

Islandsandmirrors had the most liked content!

About Islandsandmirrors

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday 08/01/1995

Profile Information

  • Location
    Clouds of the Idealistic Mind
  • Religion
    Shia Islam
  • Mood
    Calm

Previous Fields

  • Gender
    Female

Recent Profile Visitors

13,535 profile views
  1. I've heard that as well, but I really think this also depends on context. If you are in public, then obviously you shouldn't be shaking your tail. If you're alone or around mahram people? Then that's different. and another thing with regards to modern day music. It's played all the time at malls and while I might bust a move at home, at work, although the top 40s are always playing, I never feel the urge to shake my body because I'm focused on work. So again, I really feel like it all depends on context and it's not as simple or as black-and-White as it might seem.
  2. The thing with music is that it's a tricky topic to discuss as many people will state their sources to back up their beliefs about why/why not it's haram. For example, a Marja said (I forget who. Perhaps Sistani.) that any music "which is played at entertainment gatherings is haram." As far as I know, music played at entertainment gatherings (nightclubs, mostly.) would be deemed haram because of the associations with it, such as drinking and "feeling the heat" with many strangers in close proximity. Some people (regular people, not usually marjas.) like to extend this ruling toward pop/current music as well, because most pop music sounds a lot like dance/club music, however, since most pop songs, and most songs in general would not be played at clubs, then we can't say for sure that it is haram. Same thing with Classical music. Beethoven and Operatic Arias might be played at, say, family gatherings, but the context/setting is different. Most people are not getting wasted while listening to Cecelia Bartoli, and never would Classical music be played at a nightclub, so Classical music is not haram. I listen to Opera all the time in my own home.
  3. I love Gwyneth Jones! HUGE, powerful voice.
  4. Inshallah @yashia you will be the least person on Earth to develop a hard heart.
  5. And what in the world was that Salafi going on about Taqiyya? The Shia man didn't even lie about the fact that he's a Shia Muslim. What trolls who don't even know anything about the Shia faith. Glad my Sunni SO calls people like him for what they are: utter and complete cancerous, useless people. Their aim is not understanding and peace, but spreading hatred and lies against the Shias-of-Ali (AS)
  6. I see your point, but what I meant by "sweet things" in public are typically addressing your SO as "Babe", "Honey," "Sweetie" not as in full sonnets of your undying love for each other. More like, "Sweetie, should we get some veggies while we are at the grocery store?" Less of: "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?"
  7. What a ridiculous video. Why would they (Wahabbis) spread lies about Shias? And putting someone on the spot for convertion in public is the worst. The Shia man should be applauded for trying to protect his SO from doing something out of force. His appproach wasn't the best, saying that she wasn't ready, but I think it was due to him wanting them to just leave and that he was ganged up by Salafis/Wahabbis. On another note, I was complaining to my SO about Bilal Philips lies about the Shias to which he said, "Not everyone knows the truth."
  8. There's a misconception that if a guy or girl is from a "good family" and is educated, then it means he/she is good match for you and has a decent personality. Here's a list of mistakes people make when searching for a spouse. 1. Focusing on the mostly the above example when trying to find a spouse. These things are important, no doubt about it, but just because a guy is a doctor/lawyer/whatever it does not mean he has the ability to emotionally connect with you or take care of you. The most abrasive man I'd met was before I met my current SO, who was studying to become a doctor. Not bashing on all doctors, but he had zero empathy and was emotionally unavailable, which brings me to my next point... 2. Choosing Mr./Ms. Unavailable There are various signs of an Emotionally Unavailable man or woman, such as blowing hot and cold, as in, when they fear that they are going to lose you, they suffocate you with attention, and when they are certain they've got you, they ignore you and don't put any effort. Unavailables are usually not in touch with their own emotions and promise you the moon and the stars in effort to "keep you in check" by manipulating your emotions and eroding your self-esteem in the process. They usually charm their way into your life, and through phoniness is how they manage to stay there so you're wondering what happened to that person and you waste your time trying to find that "loving, charming" person again by being with him/her. 3. Focusing about becoming what you think the opposite gender wants in a partner This is more common in guys under the idea of "self-improvement", as in, the notion that if you work out constantly and tend your appearance and be "confident and collected" that woman will come flocking to you. While fitness and wellness is important and can be a plus when trying to find someone, looks and keeping your guard up will not be important or very effective in the long run. Girls want different things in a man, and someone who is balanced and has a softer side to show, not a man who is brick wall and obsssed with appearing "manly" will usually end up finding the right partner faster. Being well rounded does not always mean being exceptionally well read about various topics, but rather, how willing and open you are to getting to know someone on a deeper level. If you're not comfortable with emotional intimacy, then you may not be ready to find someone. Being yourself is what really matters when finding someone, not conforming to a rigid idea of masculinity or femininity. 4. Not Complimenting Someone Enough there is the misconception that if you are aloof generally when you're trying to get to know someone, that it will increase attraction and mystery between the two people. And this is a topic that could be tricky because most men especially when they compliment a woman, they believe she will let it get to her head, and vice versa. Most woman LOVE and greatly appreciate GENUINE compliments, regardless of how often it is. If you use compliments for ingenuine reasons, then you need to stop. Right now. If you're a genuine person who makes her feel safe and loved, compliment her, because she will be more likely to appreciate you in the long run and it helps strengthen your relationship. 5. Never Saying Sorry to never admit that you are wrong is what tears relationships apart. If you cannot put aside your ego and say sorry, you will go nowhere with the opposite gender. When healthy couples fight, they both apologize and don't hold grudges and may even talk about what went wrong. Putting aside your ego will help you find love. 6. Putting the Other Person Down/Not Fighting Fair Arguments happen, but how you deal with opposing views and arguments says a lot about your character. Do you explode? Do you resort to screaming at each other and endless "shut the hell up!" Instead of talking to each other? Does the person make jokes that attack your self-worth and self-esteem? While excessive arguments and tempers can be a sign of incompatiblity, these arguments can be greatly lessened if both people are willing to change and improve themselves by admitting their faults. 7. Settling for Someone/Being in Denial because you're Lonely i get it, it's hard sometimes, but never settle for a mediocre relationship (not the same as a stable or comfortable relationship.) just because you want to feel good about yourself. If you can't love yourself, if you don't believe that someone good is out there for you, how will you expect to find it? It's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe there are no good men/woman out there, for example, and all the people you've met were jerks because of your mindset, and you eventually settle or remain distant, then don't become angry when you find that people are how you think they are. It may take time to find the right person, but giving up entirely and settling for Mr./Ms. Blah can have a serious effect on your mental health and perception of yourself and feeds into the negative mindset. These are just some mistakes people make from my observations. Your thoughts? What were some mistakes you've made when trying to find someone?
  9. Oh, that's nice that their names are engraved in the ring. I think many Persians especially like rings and necklaces with engravings like that.
  10. No problem, ah, yeah it was my mistake then because I can't read the writing on ring. It's a nice idea for your wedding band. Does your wife also have one like that? The reason I'm asking is because some spouses engrave both their wedding bands and the engagement ring to add a personal touch, so I'm guessing it's the same concept?
  11. ^thats a nice ring @Ya_isa (as) but I don't think it's supposed to be on your ring finger.
  12. Like a voice recording thread? There's already a thread like that I made a few months ago.
  13. I sound decent I guess. I've been classically trained. My voice type is, in terms of classical voice types/categories, Lyric Coloratura Soprano. (There are two types of Coloratura Sopranos--Dramatic and Lyric. Dramatic Coloratura Sopranos are like Joan Surtherland, meaning, more power and weight to the voice, but not heavy enough to be Mezzo-Sopranos.) Think Natalie Dessay or Roberta Peters, whom both are Lyric Coloratura Sopranos. People say I have a nice voice, and when I had school performances growing up, I would get solos. I sing a lot in the house, and generally I might respond to someone by singing my answers, just for fun.
  14. They may have not figured you out and maybe they are not in touch with emotions in general, but from the way you write, you are just not very empathetic and are always angry. This is my perception of you. Your avatar also shows that you are defensive and like to keep people at arm's length for various reasons, mostly to protect yourself. And until I see a different side to you, which I'm sure is there underneath it all, I'm going to stick with this judgement. People around you might not care about figuring people out in general, and only care about themselves, and maybe they don't want to tell you anything to your face for the walls you've build up and fact that you'll be prepared to attack them, but I care about people and the reading between the lines of undercurrents of how a message is communicated. for me, it's less of a strategy to "figure someone out" and more "intuition".
  15. It's not brilliant when it comes to developing and keeping an emotional bond with a woman. And some woman are just not emotional. And your phrasing of being stoic "while woman can be emotional" - what does that mean exactly? If you're speaking in terms of wanting an intense relationship where the two people are blasting emotions like anger and crying spells, then that is your preference and I'm not going to judge. But if your intention is to suggest that woman are emotional wrecks than you're wrong. My SO and I both talk about our feelings within the relationship, but none of really cry in front of each other. Yes, I have cried, and he's been my rock in those moments, but he's not JUST my rock, he supports my emotions and makes me feel loved and accepted. Gender roles in the sense that men should never talk about their emotions and that woman are over emotional wrecks is an incredibly inaccurate and stifling. Why can't men and woman just be who they are without conforming to a box? Youre talking, once again in extremes. What happened to being BALANCED? Knowing when to be strong and knowing when to be soft. Just because a guy can defend himself doesn't mean he should carry that same defensive attitude with his wife. There's a time and place for both. My SO knows how to defend himself through martial arts and would protect the people he loves from harm, but he also knows how to treat me kindly and in a way that makes me want to really open up with him (and vice versa) and everyone's happy. We both do relationship checks every so often and both try to fulfill each other's emotional needs and when he's weak, I'm there for him, and when I'm weak, he's there for me. It's not supposed to be one-sided. Bottom line, like @notme said: treat others the way you want to be treated. Most woman don't want men who won't open up to them and are always angry. And it's not men's fault, they've been raised that way because of psychological and environmental/societial expectations of what it means to be "a real man" because sadly, society would be more likely to accept a man's anger than his sadness. Same thing with woman. They are told to "keep the peace, never get angry, and never rock the boat."