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musti85

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About musti85

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  • Religion
    Muslim shia

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  1. Salam sister, I feel very bad with what your going through, i truly believe the anti psychotic medications play a role as most gay people you will find have received or continue to receive such medications, further to that its customization. However there is a lot of support here in London for you to be given the strength to cope. send me an email if you would like more detail. Its sad how our communities have come to this state of play. Also, Inshallah your financial situation also gets better.
  2. Peshawar

    sorry to sound so stupid, but i have not heard of these places before, are the in Afghanistan or iran? sorry for the dumbness!
  3. Urgent!

    I feel so sorry for you! I can imagine how hard this maybe on you. My advice may not be appropriated but WALLAH this is exactly what i would do... so here goes.... considering the circumstance where she chose not to get married as she wanted to "finish uni", and has past the most volatile years of her life, I would print the post with the pic, hang it in her room so she sees it as soon as she walks in. i will then confront her and tell her she can’t be trusted no more, as a results she is no longer allowed out the house and will be married off to a guy i see fit. Will then take her for a virginity check! Maybe harsh or old fashioned. But I don’t believe in more than one chance with these sorts of issues. All it takes it one too many chances and her life is ruined. I’d rather it be ruined through marriage then zina! oh and defo tell your parents!! Regards.
  4. Correct me if I am wrong people, speaking as a virgin male. I am pretty sure you can tell if the girl is a virgin. However as for advise, what’s been done has been done! And these types of stories sadden me as they are increasingly conman in our communities. Mainly amongst our youth. There is a hadeeth i read where it says, there will come a time where our woman will be wearing hijab and fully covered but they are not virgins. I think we are now living in this time. whatever the reasons. I say try get in touch with his wife to be and let her know what a scum he is. But its unfair to only blame him. you shouldn't have been doing anything with him in the first place for it to lead to zina! as soon as you did that, his respect for you fell. the key to keeping a guy is never letting go of your values and giving into haram. That way he will only respect you more and the anticipation will make him more keen! There is no magic solution to your issue. Apart from do towba and do not repeat. God is all forgiving!
  5. I’m an Arab, and I’m white. a bit too white some people may say, is that still considered handsome? :P. I think its preference; darker skinned people want lighter skin etc... I mean, I am white, but i prefer a slightly darker colored spouse, maybe tanned or slightly lighter. However my brother in law is dark, and loves my sister for being white. LOL. so I guess there is some validity in this post. We are all beautiful. Despite color!
  6. That’s sad!. If like you say his shy and has a low self-esteem. My instinct will tell me his not very confident and hence the change in opinion I think was based on family influence for whatever reason. Most likely wrong. An example would be me. I was introduced to a girl, we both accepted then day after doing the unofficial ceremony between families (no marriage contract) my family completely miss read the girls personality and made a huge issue out of it. They wouldn’t even let me defend her or give her the opportunity to defend herself. They later gave me an ultimatum, either her or my family! Harsh i know. But I can’t leave my family for her because what if it doesn't work out later. I will be the only one at loss of both. I'm Iraqi, and I find Iraqi families love to make issues and problems even in times of happiness, not all of course! The moral of this story is I’m still single :P hint hint. ha ha!
  7. from experience (my sister) her husband asked her for money, although he returned it it was later obvious he wanted to borrow my sisters money so that he can better his own finical wealth and give his parents most of it. big problems. my advise, you have a family for a reason, and you should tell them about such request. its your money and you have the right to seek protection. there is no harm in you helping your husband, but it seems to me his not got his priorities right. when does he expect to pay it back? when does he expect to move in with you? he should have made these all clear before the marriage. having said all that, i don't know him. he might be genuine but if you decide to lend him the money, defiantly make sure your parents are aware for your protection.
  8. I couldn't agree more. but lets not go to any extremes, Im talking about a couple of small tattoos. I might be wrong but i personally feel that even a guy with a tattoo will not want to marry a girl with a tattoo. Do the brothers agree or disagree? for argument sakes lets say she was a wonderful Muslim, very nice hijab, well mannered and been to hajj -> I think a guy will always in the back of his head think she will be a bad mother simply because he will feel the tattoo will be a bad influence for his kids, especially since the kids spend more time with there mother then the father. your thoughts.....?
  9. Thanks for your input but my question is more directed at the brothers with a wife or potential wife with tattoos.... Thanks.
  10. This is all extremely useful information. generally speaking would a brother be willing to marry a Muslim shia girl who has a maybe 3 small tattoos?
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