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About yusur317

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    Level 2 Member
  • Birthday 02/19/1995

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    United Kingdom
  • Religion
    Shia muslim

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  1. yusur317

    Interfaith Marriage, what is your opinion?

    Death? Please reference your source... there is no death punishment in islam. at most, the punishment would be lashing. Clearly the two misunderstood the validity of their marriage. They are not committing zina if they're ignorant. So you need to clarify and convince them. If that doesnt do it, you leave them be. They're not in a muslim country and as such, are not subjected to sharia law. But the marriage remains void islamically. The lady is living a lie.
  2. yusur317

    Interfaith Marriage, what is your opinion?

    In my extended family, the children followed their father. There is one family with both shia parents, but an iranian mother and an iraqi father. Here, the children identify as iranian not iraqi and only speak farsi. So from my own observations, children are more likely to take after their father. Growing up, i also favoured my father's opinion over my mother's. Plus even when i didnt want to do something- like wear the hijab- i had to because he wanted me to. My mother didn't want me to wear it, but that didnt matter. Also, i didn't say they weren't religious. I said they weren't too religious. Their faith does not take the forefront in their lives. I had to clarify because i don't want you to misunderstand. I dont have a holier than thou attitude. I am not judging them. It just explains why their marriage worked out better. I just realised you are married to a sunni man. Please dont take this to mean that your marriage is destined for failure. There were other issues that lead to divorce/a second wife. It wasn't just the difference in belief. That just played a single part. It just added fuel to an already burning fire.
  3. yusur317

    Interfaith Marriage, what is your opinion?

    Salam, I always wonder whether it will last. Especially if one of the two is a revert. Did they revert with the right intentions or solely to be with the woman/man they love? In my family, many interfaith marriages occurred. Not only involving sunnis, but christians too. None but one lasted. There remains one sunni man married to an aunt of mine, but both aren't too religious. They pray and do wajibats (except my aunt doesn't wear the hijab), but they let their children do whatever they want. They don't seem to care much whether their children commit to islam or not. So do i think it works? If you're absolutely committed to your faith, no. Because you would want your children to share your truth. If you're tolerant and patient, sure. Because you're unlikely to panic, should your children chose a different path. So it depends: what do you want? Do you want your children to share your truth or have them find their own in time. Muslim women are prohibited from marrying non-muslim men. So in Islam, the woman's marriage to the christian man in the article is void. I believe that muslim women are only allowed to marry muslim men for the reasons discussed above. We still live in a patriarchal society (for the most part) today. A father's decision, often, still trumps a mother's. So if there was a conflict in fiqh/sharia/law, the father's decision precedes. Say a son attended mass and wanted to drink wine- in islam this is forbidden. In christianity, it's encouraged during mass. Children are more likely to listen to and take after their father than their mother's. This law is supposed to protect muslim women from unnecessary discomfort, conflict or even potential abuse (should disagreements escalate).
  4. yusur317

    Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    Brother, what you see on social media does not represent real life. Sit down and actually talk to married men/other women. With regards to bigger women/men, I think obesity is a result of more than just poor choices. There is an underlying cause, whether a medical or mental health problem. These need to be addressed. Both genders should have access to support communities. I think what needs special attention are male victims of domestic abuse....
  5. yusur317

    Double Standards

    Salam sister, I understand the trouble you have experienced while wearing your hijab. I have faced some too, though fortunately none of them were aggressive. But I have friends and family who've had the misfortune of running into sick minded people. I think within our community the purpose of our hijab has been placed in a false frame. I think it often focuses on men- it hides a woman's beauty, it protects her from assault, it protects her from a perverted gaze etc. In reality, I think a woman develops her own purpose for her hijab. Personally, I believe the hijab was gifted to us by God. God chose the delicate, nurturing, patient and softer gender to represent Islam. Humans are far more likely to approach a woman than they are a man. Women are simply more appealing, attractive and approachable. Note how I mentioned that everything in my life has become about religion, culture and politics. It opens a doorway to introduce Islam to strangers who would otherwise never ask and never hear its message. It's an honourable task assigned to us by God. The reason I don't believe this to be a universal purpose for women is because, individual women -like men- live under different circumstances. For example, many Muslim women live in predominantly Muslim countries. Long ago, many women rarely left their homes or walked further than their local market. These women would have their hijab serving a different purpose. vs. ....who would you approach? There are always two sides to a coin. The hijab has its burdens, but it also comes with gifts.
  6. yusur317

    Anti-Semitic Attack on Israeli Arab

    Salam though this is sad what upsets me more is the fact that it had become international news. our sisters in hijab face such discrimination on a daily basis. Are their voices given a platform too? Liberal and reform jews don't regard the kippah as a compulsory command. It's optional. He can simply choose to take it off. A woman in hijab however, will continue to experience the abuse... He didn't even care to mention other people who've faced religious or racial discrimination. If he was actually wearing the flag around his body, it wasn't because he was a jew but because he was a zionist supporter.
  7. yusur317

    Men in the West are becoming Feminized

    Salam, would you mind clarifying some things? You say independent women are materialistic women who also lack faith, but encourage young men to engage in extramarital relationships? So you shame women for their independence, but encourage men to commit sins? Unless you mean to say, they should be marrying women at a young age. That would explain your frustration, considering an increasing number of young women choose to pursue a higher education and therefore opt for a later marriage. Because they are career driven and often well established in their working place, they also tend to become "pickier". She would want a man who can compete with her. So now, you're not only competing with your fellow man but the women too. Focus from a woman's beauty has also started to shift. People are now also interested in her career and education- her independence if you like. I think that is a very healthy change.
  8. yusur317

    Double Standards

    Salam I think a lot of brothers here are misunderstanding the purpose of this topic. Ignoring the grave sin of using Nakshawani as an example, she asks why there is little attention paid to a man's dress code. I will be digressing, but I just wanted to add some things. Because I don't think reflecting the treatment of women and projecting it onto men, will help either gender. I just wish for men to understand how difficult it is for a woman to accept or even love her hijab. We struggle a lot, ... we do. This is why I sometimes feel a little envious of men. So I just hope you come understand and empathise. Allow a woman to freely dissect, understand and develop her relationship with the hijab. We aggressively reinforce a female uniform, but there is none for a man to adhere to. A woman wears her religion like a banner, but a man is free to assimilate and even marry of different people (ahl alkitab). A man who is better/well received outside our community and with greater cultural freedoms within our community, can't begin to understand a woman's struggle. Wherever she turns, she is hurt. Hijab when forced, is no different to branding a girl. She won't associate it with worship. The Hijab will make her stand out among her peers, so she needs to posses confidence to tolerate that. If her skin colour didn't separate her, her hijab will forever remind her she is different. Her peers won't hesitate to help remind her either. Almost everything becomes about the hijab, the religion, politics and her culture. I see no problem for this if a mature teen/woman decides to wear the hijab, but a young girl of 9 years is still growing and barely understands. She still needs to establish her confidence and character without judgement from peers or society. If it's forced and she feels that isolation and discrimination, she will develop hate towards it and anger towards her parents. She hears mean comments from her peers and mean comments from her community. She's left stuck in-between pleasing neither and falling into a pit of spiralling confusion. Eventually she's left with one thought, "What's the point?" ... I think many of us have met women who have decided to remove the hijab. This is not a decision that would have been made over night. Hijab is a 'till death do us part' commitment. To remove it, is almost like a divorce; it's caused by a poor/dysfunctional relationship (with the hijab). Anyway.... I digress. I just wanted to voice some of my thoughts ...
  9. yusur317

    Women's Intimacy in Marriage

    I think that perhaps the 4 month period is to account for travel...? So a man can be away to trade, to deliver a message, to visit family etc. but he must return within 4 months...?
  10. yusur317

    Do looks matter to you

    Salam Marriage can happen in two ways within our community: arranged marriage or love marriage. With an arranged marriage, all your qualities- whether good or bad- will be put under a magnifying glass. Families will therefore care about your appearance, moreso if you're a woman. I'm not sure if the same applies in a love marriage. The saying goes, "Love is blind". You could be drawn to a person because you're attracted to their appearance, or their personality might intrigue you. Their humour, the way they light up a room, their passion for a certain subject, their love for children/family/animals etc. Or you might share a common interest. Anything besides appearance can also attract a person to another, imo.
  11. yusur317


    I don't get it.. It's just someone unkempt sat on a rooftop...?
  12. yusur317

    Anime, opening song.

    Salam You can check the level of nudity and graphic violence using any parental guidance service available online. IMDb provides such service. If you're unsure regarding an anime, check the genre too. Some tags are good indicators. With regards to anime generally, some scholars claim even drawing out a complete human body is haram. So you could even argue, anime itself is haram. Generally speaking, if you're unsure whether something is wrong, in most cases, it is wrong. In order for you to recognise an oncoming bad scene, you must see a part of it or elements of it before you can skip it. It's easier to watch anime movies to avoid nudity, graphic violence and other unwanted elements. Most recently, silent voice was a good anime I've watched. It's not an action packed anime but it's very much worth the watch. Here's a trailer for anyone interested: As far as I can recall, AoT displayed giant rears. But otherwise, it lacked anatomy down below. Ajin didn't have any nudity or hypersexualised characters as far as I can recall, but the animation bothered me. I did some work for you, here is the parents guide on IMDb for AoT and Ajin respectively: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2560140/parentalguide http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5537534/parentalguide Here's one for One Piece: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0388629/parentalguide - that way, you can skip these scenes before they happen if you choose to continue watching One Piece.
  13. yusur317

    [Closed/Review]Iran hijab law change?

    @Guest Account Ali I'll cry only if you gift me a packet of soft scented kleenex. I will only ever allow myself to cry cherry blossom scented tears. My mum always taught me to reflect the language of people I speak to. Thought the [EDIT] might need some pictures to keep him engaged ... Elaborate, why is it justified? The fact that other countries use a minimum dress code is not enough. Note, I put minimum in bold before. Adhering to the exact dress code, is not the minimum. Also, I won't "suck it up". If I'm unhappy about anything, I'll do something about it. Other things I'm coerced to do?... like what? This is honestly cute! Really enjoying the sass! ... let me clarify though. You were talking about a minimum dress code. That judgement can made by a studied scholar. But I argue, even a scholar has his bias and shortcomings. I have no issue with the hijab, but I do have a problem with forcing its observance among women. Because that dulls or even strips them off of the full/true experience of the hijab. Their right to make free choices and their right to experience a form of worship blessed only onto them by God has been taken away. I don't see how this is a good thing... Maybe you'll like Gifs better... though considering you know this much about memes, I very much doubt it... palm ready? Her hair is her sexuality... I assume? I didn't learn this during middle school. Enlighten me. Again, subjective. A young girl is vulnerable and immature. Only sick men seek out children. The average man- I'd hope- wouldn't care for a female child in a short skirt. A grown woman is less vulnerable, more independent and much stronger. She can protect herself- though again, there's time and place for everything. She should dress accordingly, only to protect herself. A burden she unfortunately bears because of a few men's sick corruption. Though this should not be a reality. The issue does not lie with the woman's dress but the man's reaction to it. Her sex organs (primary and secondary), I would consider to be the minimum. Well, I am first-hand source. Do you know what that is [EDIT]? I didn't say all women in iran. I named cities. Qom is religious capital, so I understand why the observance of hijab is quite strict, just like in Kerbala for example. I may convey some of my emotions but it's your perception and assumption of my response that shapes them. If you're in an emotional state, you will read it as such. To help you understand how I felt reading your response: Me---> It takes quite a bit to offend me. I find sass amusing not condescending. Love it!
  14. yusur317

    [Closed/Review]Iran hijab law change?

    @Abu Hadi So you're suggesting men understand the reason/purpose of the hijab, just not what it's like to wear it, but women don't...? Let me put it into perspective for you. Forget about the gender. In fact, let's turn the tables. Assuming, buddhism commands all men to become monks... If I force a razor to a monk's head and shave his hair/beard off, is this monk practicing a form of worship? He wants to grow his hair and beard, but everytime I see the slightest stubble, I force him to shave it. If he doesn't, he receives a form of punishment. Be it prison, fines, verbal/emotional abuse- he'll be punished. Do you think the purpose of the monk's dress code, to let go of the material world, has been achieved? Do you think he will cease to think about his hair or obsess over it? When you force a human to do something, he will naturally want to rebel against it. This monk won't see a shaved head as a sign of worship. There is a difference between submission and subjection/subjugation. Though you put it nicely, these are still restrictions imposed on personal freedoms. A minimum standard is good enough. Strictly adhering to the exact dress code of a single religion is unfair. Choosing to practice should be exactly what it is... a choice. The only reason many women wear it loosely in Iran, is because the government cannot cope with the overwhelming dissatisfaction from many women within Iran. In that case, civilisations with women that did not observe the hijab (and considering the hijab is not the most important of islamic laws) or islam, lacked decorum, order and humanity. Considering, most societies/countries with women observing the hijab, are chaotic with ghastly people committing all sorts of atrocities, I hope you realise how unreliable your point is. Invalid. This has got nothing to do with the hijab. Merely your media exploiting and thereby enhancing the primitive residue instincts among humans. There far too many factors influencing what's happening in America. You can't blame your peoples' electing a reality TV celebrity as president on the hijab too, can you? Your shortcoming is not for a woman to bear. It's your responsibility to fight whatever desires you may have, your test not hers. Faces are just as attractive as bodies, so why do they remain uncovered? If it's to prevent a male's gaze/lust, a woman is to remain at home. A hijab doesn't protect you. Have you seen a woman walk in a hijab among muslim men? It serves no such purpose. Plus, it takes two to tango. For a woman to join in the act, wouldn't she have felt a certain something towards a man? What did a man do to prevent her lust? Did he wear a hijab? A beard is most often attractive, not a hijab. Everything in a man is limited to his speech, act and demeanor. Shouldn't it be the same for a woman? Rape, like murder, is not the responsibility of the victim but the aggressor. That's the result of poverty and low socioeconomic status. I was 7 years old when I went to egypt. 7. I was catcalled. Even here, among muslim communities, no matter time of day, in a hijab or without it, you're approached/catcalled. You can look like a cockroach, it won't stop certain men. Speaking of egypt... What does STD have to do with not wearing the hijab? No hijab= STD... how did it even get to that? lol I repeat, I encourage the hijab. But for it to serve its purpose, it needs to be a free choice.
  15. yusur317

    [Closed/Review]Iran hijab law change?

    You don't know that actually. It's not about whether I like it or not. It doesn't matter, because that argument is irrelevant to my point. You're a smart guy. Surely, you can see the problem with what you've written... Oh. My. Allah. No coercion comes from the many stories of women forced to wear it. Fortunately, you can't deny it. I come from the same community. I was personally forced to wear it. I was given the choice only a year ago. A little too late. How do you know that? Cite a source. I have been to Iran (tehran, shiraz, qom). In shiraz and tehran, women didn't observe the hijab properly. In fact, tehran was a total mess. I am not saying the hijab is wrong or should be discouraged. I encourage it! I think it's beautiful once its true purpose is fulfilled. You won't appreciate its purpose until you wear it yourself out of your own free choice. I hated it for 7 years. Have you heard of pavlov conditioning? If you attribute a negative feeling/memory to the hijab, it no longer serves its purpose. When observing the hijab, you should feel a nearness to God not a resentment towards your father, sibling or regime. It's not a political tool to mark a country as an islamic state, to put it on public platform. It's not a burden for women to bear at the hands of lacking lusting men. It's not to mark your lack of freedom and the power of "male" guardianship. It's not a punishment for being born a woman. It's a form of worship. A personal choice, a growth in nearness to God, a spiritual milestone.