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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/21/2018 in Posts

  1. 17 points

    missing someone

    Salaams All, I am a 25 year old girl, and I lost my dad on the 9th of June 2017. My Dad's death happened at home, His head on my lap, His hand in mine. His final moments with me. It has been so long, I have tried various amaal, various suras, but I still can not take the scene out of my head, nor can I accept the fact, that my dad is no more. I can not sleep, cannot eat. and I cry most of the time. Can anyone advice me what to do? How to stop from hurting?
  2. 15 points

    Divorcing infertile husband

    This type of thinking is toxic. You're justifying throwing him away because you assume he would do the same. Have you asked him what he would do if the shoe were on the other foot? Your family seems to be pretty hell-bent on getting you two divorced. This is surprising, considering the possibility that things can go terribly wrong. What if you can't remarry? What if you don't love your second husband the way you love your current husband? What if he too is infertile? What if you get a child with a birth defect, or in the example in Surat al-Kahf, an evil child? There may be a wisdom to his situation, and perhaps adoption can save a person's life, while divorce can very well destroy yours.
  3. 12 points

    Sayyed Ammar Naskhkawani done?

    It's no mystery that Nakshawani enjoys a luxury lifestyle, but these are disjointed out-of-context clips. Most if not all of us have done worse, and we ask Allah to forgive us and all mu'mineen. Just keep in mind that this is a preacher, not a scholar; and even if he were a scholar, we should not raise any fallible person above our heads. One section of our community reveres people on minbars, while another section of our community look for every reason to attack them. They are people. Take the khayr and leave the rest.
  4. 12 points
    Khadim uz Zahra

    Divorcing infertile husband

    I don't understand why you'd rather divorce your husband - who seems to be an incredibly awesome stand-up guy given that he's even willing to divorce you to make you happy - instead of just adopting a baby. Why do you need to have a biological child? I personally cannot see the reasoning behind leaving behind a man who truly understands and loves you for the sake of having a child when adoption is a completely viable option. Could you perhaps share why the two of you don't want to adopt?
  5. 11 points

    Shia and sunnis

    When you've tasted the pure teachings of Ahlulbayt (as), there is nothing that can replace it. When I was young, I use to have these random thoughts, that maybe we're wrong after all. I wasn't certain in the Imamate, Ahlulbayt (as) etc. However the more I gain knowledge the more I realize that the madhab of Imam Jafar Al Sadiq (as) is the only madhab which is based on rationality and truth. We Shias have absolutely nothing to lose by following the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)'s pure household. Allah will not punish us for not respecting the companions who didn't treat Ahlulabyt (as) in the best way. Our position is rational - to not respect those who didn't support Ahlulabyt (as). Sunnis have a lot to lose, by praising certain companions who have not been on the side of Ahlulbayt (as). Their position is not based on logic, as they support their enemies, relying on guess work that everything was alright after the demise of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). In addition, they reject Imamah which is a universal law created by Allah. In the Quran Allah says that he will raise us with the Imam of our time. What will Sunnis argue?
  6. 9 points

    Sayyed Ammar Naskhkawani done?

    Correct your brother if he is wrong, but hujjat al-islam is given to anyone who has finished the preliminary hawza program; so this would depend on our definition of scholar. In a very broad sense he may be considered a scholar, but his qualifications are more academic than traditional. Actually in the Ja`fari madhhab, there is no israf on clothing, and beautification is desirable, as is displaying Allah's bounty. In principle yes one should not waste money that can be better spent elsewhere, but we can barely make out what is going on in the video to justify comparing him to Mu`awiya. So far this thread has mentioned drinking, drugs, expensive food, but none of that is proven or even observable. As for the jacuzzi, you all know that the `awra in Shiism is not the same as in Sunnism right? No one is happy with the man's extravagant taste, but this is much ado. Did everyone really think that a rich single man in his 30s was in the mosque all day praying? As far as the sunna is concerned, the soo' ath-thann and gheeba in this thread is worse than anything in the videos.
  7. 9 points

    [Resolved]Starlight Unregistered

    Salam, Thank you everyone for your duas and wishes! I am back!!
  8. 9 points
    Abu Hadi

    Divorcing infertile husband

    I don't think you should divorce him, if you think he is an otherwise good guy. There are almost no couples who get everything they want out of the marriage. Some have children but they are poor, some are not poor but one or the other spouse is abusive, lying, cheating, etc. Some have a spouse that is much more / less religious and so they don't feel they are compatiple. So on the scale of relationship problems, this is not one of the major ones, IMHO. I know you might think, 'well you don't know what it's like'. You're right, I don't. I have three healthy children, Alhamduillah. At the same time if you want Sadaqa Jarriya and to contribute to society, there are lots of other ways, besides having children. You probably know of or are already doing a few of these. In the end, how happy or how miserable you are in life depends on how you react to the things which are under your control. The things which are not under your control, like the fact that you can't have children, is not one of the things you can control. You can control your reaction to it. You can turn it into a positive or a negative. I don't think divorcing your husband would qualify as turning it into a positive. After 19 years and all the things you have went thru as a couple, I don't think separating at this point would be a positive thing for either one of you.
  9. 9 points
    Abu Nur

    Advice from Imam (as)

    'In the Name of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى , the Beneficent, the Merciful. Having said that, l (as) ask your Lord سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى to grant you all good health. It is for you all to have tenderness, dignity and tranquility, and it is for you to be bashful and keep yourselves clear, just as the righteous people before you have done. It is for you to be courteous with the people of falsehood. You will bear injustices from them, and beware of disputing with them in what is between you and them. When you sit with them, and are alone with them and argue your differences with them, there is no way out for you but to sit with them and be alone with them, and argue with them by the dissimulation which Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى has Ordered you for, that you should take to it regarding what is between you and them. So if you are tested with that from them, that they wish to harm you and you can recognize abhorrence in their faces, and if Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى , the High does not Dispel them away from you, they would rob you. And what is in their chests of enmity and hatred is much more than what they display to you. Your gatherings and their gatherings are one and the same, but your spirits and their spirits are different. You will not reconcile with them and you will never lover them, ever, and they will never love you as well. Surely Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى the High has Honored you all with the truth and Made you to visualize it, and did not Make them to be deserving of it. Be courteous to them and be patient with them, for they have no courtesy to you nor do they have patience over anything, and some of them are obsessed with tricking the others, for the enemies of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى have the ability to keep you from the truth. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى Protects you from that, so fear Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and hold back your tongues except from the good, and beware of letting your tongues to slip into speaking that which is false, and the slanderous, and the sinful, and the violation. So if you were to hold back your tongues from what is disliked by Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى , from what He سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى has Forbidden you from, it would be better for you with your Lord سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى than letting your tongues slip into what is disliked by Him سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and what He سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى has Prohibited you from. Al-Kafi Chapter: 1, Hadith: 14449, Number: 1
  10. 9 points

    Advice from Imam (as)

    Thanks for sharing brother. And here is a letter from your living Imam (ajtfs): خبرني جماعة، عن أبي محمد التلعكبري، عن أحمد بن علي الرازي، عن الحسين بن علي (1) القمي، قال: حدثني محمد بن علي بن بنان (2) الطلحي الآبي، عن علي بن محمد بن عبدة النيسابوري، قال: حدثني علي بن إبراهيم الرازي، قال: حدثني الشيخ الموثوق (3) به بمدينة السلام قال: تشاجر ابن أبي غانم القزويني وجماعة من الشيعة في الخلف، فذكر ابن أبي غانم أن أبا محمد عليه السلام مضى ولا خلف له، ثم إنهم كتبوا في ذلك كتابا وأنفذوه إلى الناحية، وأعلموه (4) بما تشاجروا فيه، فورد جواب كتابهم بخطه عليه وعلى آبائه السلام. بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم عافانا الله وإياكم من الضلالة (5) والفتن، ووهب لنا ولكم روح اليقين، وأجارنا وإياكم من سوء المنقلب أنه أنهي إلي ارتياب جماعة منكم في الدين، وما دخلهم من الشك والحيرة في ولاة أمورهم، فغمنا ذلك لكم لا لنا، وساءنا فيكم لا فينا، لان الله معنا ولا فاقة بنا إلى غيره، والحق معنا فلن يوحشنا من قعد عنا، ونحن صنائع ربنا، والخلق بعد صنائعنا. يا هؤلاء ! ما لكم في الريب تترددون، وفي الحيرة تنعكسون (6) ؟ أو ما سمعتم الله عزوجل يقول: (يا أيها الذين آمنوا أطيعوا الله وأطيعوا الرسول وأولي = الامر منكم) (1) ؟ أوما علمتم ما جاءت به الآثار مما يكون ويحدث في أئمتكم عن (2) الماضين والباقين منهم عليهم السلام ؟ أوما رأيتم كيف جعل الله لكم معاقل تأوون إليها، وأعلاما تهتدون بها من لدن آدم عليه السلام إلى أن ظهر الماضي عليه السلام، كلما غاب علم بدا علم، وإذا أفل نجم طلع نجم ؟ فلما قبضه الله إليه ظننتم أن الله تعالى أبطل دينه، وقطع السبب بينه وبين خلقه، كلا ما كان ذلك ولا يكون حتى تقوم الساعة، ويظهر أمر الله سبحانه وهم كارهون. وإن الماضي عليه السلام مضى سعيدا فقيدا على منهاج آبائه عليهم السلام حذو النعل بالنعل، وفينا وصيته وعلمه، ومن هو خلفه ومن هو يسد مسده، لا ينازعنا موضعه إلا ظالم آثم، ولا يدعيه دوننا إلا جاحد كافر، ولولا أن أمر الله تعالى لا يغلب، وسره لا يظهر ولا يعلن، لظهر لكم من حقنا ما تبين (3) منه عقولكم، ويزيل شكوككم، لكنه ما شاء الله كان، ولكل أجل كتاب. فاتقوا الله وسلموا لنا، وردوا الامر إلينا، فعلينا الاصدار كما كان منا الايراد، ولا تحاولوا كشف ما غطي عنكم ولا تميلوا عن اليمين، وتعدلوا إلى الشمال، واجعلوا قصدكم إلينا بالمودة على السنة الواضحة، فقد نصحت لكم، والله شاهد علي وعليكم، ولولا ما عندنا من محبة صلاحكم ورحمتكم، والاشفاق عليكم، لكنا عن مخاطبتكم في شغل فيما قد امتحنا به من منازعة الظالم العتل (4) الضال المتتابع في غيه، المضاد لربه، الداعي ما ليس له، الجاحد حق من افترض الله طاعته، الظالم الغاصب. وفي ابنة رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم لي أسوة حسنة وسيردي الجاهل رداءة (5) عمله، وسيعلم الكافر لمن عقبى الدار، عصمنا الله وإياكم من المهالك والاسواء، والآفات والعاهات كلها برحمته، فإنه ولي ذلك والقادر على ما يشاء، وكان لنا ولكم وليا وحافظا، والسلام على جميع الاوصياء والاولياء والمؤمنين ورحمة الله وبركاته، وصلى الله على محمد وآله وسلم تسليما (1). "In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful. May Allah protect us and you from misguidance and sedition, and give us and you the spirit of certainty, and deliver us and you from capsizing evil. I am prohibited from entrusting some of you with the religion; those who have entertained doubt and perplexity regarding the Masters of their Affairs. So we have shrouded it from you, not from us; and we have deprived you, not ourselves - for Allah is with us, and we are in need of no one other than Him. The truth is with us, so we are never alone no matter who sits with us. We are the invention of our Lord, and the creation came after our existence. O you! Why do you hesitate in doubt and contrast [the truth] in perplexity? Have you not heard the saying of Allah, 'O you who believe! Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger and the Masters of the Order from you' (4:59). Do you not know of the corpus that has come and the narrations of your Imams, past and present? Do you not see how Allah created secure strongholds for you, as well as guiding signs from the beginning of Adam to the end of the previous [Imam]? Whenever knowledge would disappear, knowledge would recommence, and whenever a star would set, a star would rise. So when Allah caused him to pass away, did you think that Allah abolished His religion, and severed the connection between Him and His creation? Nay, that did not happen, and that will not be until the Hour will rise and the Order of Allah becomes manifest even if they are averse. Surely, the previous [Imam] passed away happy, and he passed away upon the way of his forefathers, who followed in the footsteps of their predecessors. In us is his testament and his knowledge - his successor is from him. None will dispute our position to him except a sinning oppressor, and no one will call to him without us except an ungrateful disbeliever. The Order of Allah cannot be defeated, and His mystery does not appear nor is it announced. We will manifest what appears from our right through your intellects, and your doubts will fall, but whatever Allah wills shall happen, and every thing has its ordained time. So fear Allah, surrender to us, and return the Order to us. It is our responsibility to distribute [wealth to the needy], just as we would receive the revenues. And do not try to uncover what has shrouded you, and do not deviate from the right to the left. Make your intention towards us, and love the clear Sunna. I have advised you, and Allah is the Witness over me and over you. Had we not loved your well-being, been merciful towards you, and been compassionate towards you, we would have addressed you in full regarding our trials from this coarse oppressor (the Caliph), who follows his own desire, who contradicts his Lord, who calls to what is not his, who denies the right of he whom Allah has obligated obedience to; the unjust usurper. And in the daughter of the Messenger of Allah is a good example for me. The ignorant wishes to destroy his deeds, but the disbeliever will come to know who the house shall go to. May Allah protect us and you from destruction and evils, and all pests and impairments through His mercy, for He is the Guardian who can do whatever He wills, and He is our and your Guardian and Sustainer. Peace be upon all of the deputies, masters, and believers, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings. May Allah bless Muhammad and His Family, and grant them peace." (Shaykh al-Tusi's Kitab al-Ghayba, pages 285-287)
  11. 9 points
    Arrogant Muslims who think others are going to hell. Gosh I'm sick of these deluded people.
  12. 8 points
    shia farm girl

    Divorcing infertile husband

    Salaam, i agree with @Abu Hadi, that 19 years in a good marriage is not something to take lightly for many reasons. For one, in this day and age the divorce rate especially for Muslims is extremely high. People don't seem to know how to get along together anymore, how to compromise, how to forgive and forget, what to overlook, or what's really important in the whole big scheme of life and of being a married Muslim couple,so if you have found that, you both are EXTREMELLY BLESSED.. There's also another issue of breaking a believers heart. That is extremely frowned upon in Islam, especially if it's something that's done intentionally with the knowledge of knowing this is going to break another Muslims heart. I caution against this, as this existence operates according to an algorithm and the gears start turning the moment we form our intention regarding what we are going to do. What happens to us, good and bad, is aresult of many factors, the strongest ones being what we have contributed to the algorithm through our own actions. Be very careful what you do, because it may come back in a bad way, for example, you could divorce your current husband, marry someone else and have a kid with them, and that kid would be the biggest dhulum in your life ever. You may get your wish to have a child, but at the same time regret it later. Another thing to be aware of is that choosing to divorce your husband after Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى has granted you a perfect match is in a way being ungreatfull for what Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى has granted you.theres no guarantee you will ever find a more suitable man for you. One last thing I want to do is give you a reference to my past. My ex and I had the best relationship ever. We did everything together, we even worked together. We were really connected with each other and were a match on every level, and I loved him dearly. We were only together a year-and-a-half when I came home one night and found him dead from a brain aneurysm. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him or miss him and the relationship that him and I had...And we were only together a year and a half.. You have 19 years under your belt with a husband that sounds extremely good..I highly caution against leaving him because you may not be able to let him and your past with him go. This would not be fair to your new husband, nkr to yourself. Livinv with that deep regret does something to a person mentally emotionally and spiritually, especially to women. Please seriously consider what youre going to do, and consider other options regarding children. There are many children in this world who need parents, a close friend of mine and her husband were moving towards adopting a Syrian child. I'm not sure where they're at with all that, but when we look at the plight of infants and small children in other parts of the world, it may open our hearts up more to be coming of service to Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى in that way. W/s
  13. 8 points
    How do you find these people who are leaving Islam? Are you googling them? She is one unknown girl on Twitter! There are intelligent people who are becoming Muslim every day, you just haven't seen it.
  14. 8 points
    Bismillah Ta'la 1) Be Open This is the most important one. In my experiences, almost always the ones who stay single are the ones who have very narrow criteria for a spouse and they stick to those criteria. The Islamic criteria for a suitable spouse are well known (deen and aklaq, for a man the ability to give najaqat, etc). If you start adding others things on top of this (has to have so much money, has to be from my same village / area, has to be sayyid, etc, etc) the harder it will be and the longer it will take to find a spouse, if one is ever found. There is no evidence that I have ever seen that says someone who marries from a certain income level, a certain village, a certain culture, sayyid / non sayyid, etc have any better chance of having a good and long marriage vs someone who marries from a spouse that doesn't have these things. There will be trials and difficulties in a marriage, whether the husband and wife are cousins or whether they are from opposite sides of the earth. When the difficulties come, what will get you thru as a couple is following Islam by having good aklaq with each other and trusting and respecting each other, what your cultural background or family background is will not help you. 2) Who you marry is your choice, not your families choice. The only person in the family who has any role to play in spouse selection is the father or paternal grandfather. This role is limited to objecting to a man based on three things, and only three things. A ) Nafakha (permanent marriage only). He cannot support the wife financially. This means that he cannot provide for the minimum level of support, the nafakha, meaning a place to live, food, and two dresses. If the potential husband can provide that, then the father has no right to object B) Deen. If the man is not muslim, and some add to this if he is non shia, the father has the right to object. If he is muslim, and some say that if he is non shia but fulfills all the other criteria, then the father has no right to object. Also, if he is fasiq, meaning he openly violates a clear ordinance(for example he drinks alcohol publicly, does zina, steals from people, etc) or doesn't do the wajib(doesn't pray, doesn't fast during Ramadan) then the father has the right to object. Also, if there are three credible witnesses from the community that have witnessed him violating the religion, in a clear way, then the father has the right to object on grounds of deen, based on the famous hadith from Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) that says 'Any father who marries his daughter to a fasiq has done qataa' Al Rahim'. (severed the connections of the womb). C) Aklaq. If the man has a disagreeable personality, meaning he is not kind to his parents, not kind to others, is miserly, is a known liar, or he has a bad personality trait that is extreme so that everyone or almost everyone around him notices it, then the father has the right to object on the grounds of aklaq. Those are the three grounds. If the father's objection is based on anything else, he has no right to object. The other people in the family (mother, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles) have no say in the matter, even if they object based on these grounds. Anyone who stands in the way of a marriage and has no Haqq(no right to do it) and their objection isn't based on one of the above legitimate criteria, they are doing a sin by becoming a roadblock in the way of a brother or sister trying to complete their deen and their is accountability and possibly punishment for this in this world and the next. The husband and the wife are responsible and accountable for the decisions they make or don't make regarding marriage. They can take the advice of people if they wish, or don't take it but they are ultimately the one's responsible. Noone has the right to block or sabotage a potential marriage for their own personal reasons or their own personal gain. 3) Get Married Early, not Late There are so many hadiths regarding the merits of marrying early, that I don't feel there is any need to post them again, but if requested, I will do. The window for marriage opens when a man or women has met the criteria of being baligh(mature) and rushd(of sound mind). The criteria for baligh and rushd vary slightly depending on the society and lifestyle of the community but generally this is around 14 for girls and 16 for boys. Also, the laws of the country need to be taken into consideration regarding the age when girls and boys are considered 'able to consent to sexual intercourse'. In Western Countries, this is generally 16 years of age for girls and boys, and different ages in other countries. Once the marriage window opens, based on the above criteria, it has a period of time which it stays open. The purpose of this thread is not to debate how long it stays open, but to say that it is better to marry earlier in this window rather than later. This applies to men as much as it does for women. The main reason for this is that when people are young, they are more flexible as far as adapting to their partner. Spouses always have different thoughts, opinions, personalities, and life experiences. Because spouses have to 'join together' (zawaja), both physically, psychologically, and spiritually, there is an urgent need for them to be able to adapt to the others habits, thoughts, opinions, and personality. This is much, much easier when you are young, and then go thru life together vs marrying older when you are less flexible and less able to adapt in the thorough way you need to adapt to a spouse. If spouses marry when they are young and both are committed to following the religion of Islam and being honest, caring, and trusting of each other, there is nothing stopping them from having a long, happy, and sucessful marriage. This is not to say that someone who marries later in life is 'doomed' to a unhappy or failed marriage, but marrying later in life is a more difficult and challenging process and thus more prone to failure. Also, there are no hadiths that I have ever read that encourage someone to marry later in life. 4) Consider Mutah I am not saying this is the right option for everyone, but it is the right option for many single brothers and sisters. If you are in university, living away from your country, etc, this is a much better option than being single. Mutah is marriage and marriage is highly mustahab and encouraged in itself. According to all scholars, both Shia and Sunni, Mutah was a common practice in the early years of Islam, before it was prohibited by Omar, and it was not seen as a 'lesser' form of marriage by the muslims at the time of Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) and there was no stigma attached to women who engaged in this form of marriage. These opinions came about later and were a result of the actions of Omar plus Islam being mixed with other cultures in which women were seen as property. I think we need to encourage the practice of Mutah, practiced responsibly and within the context of Islamic ethics and aklaq, at least to revive the Sunnah or Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) and to give brothers and sisters who are in different situations this option and also to reverse the tide of social corruption based on large numbers of single brothers and sisters in our community. Also, being a second wife may be an option for certain sisters, if they are comfortable with this situation and the man has solid deen and aklaq and the other wife(s) are also comfortable with the situation. If a sister is considering this type of marriage, make sure that this is not a 'secret' marriage and that the other wives are aware and that your rights and dignity is protected in this situation. 5) Be Active Don't sit back and passively wait for someone to find you a spouse. Noone cares about you finding the right spouse for you more than you do. Be your best friend and your best advocate. From the Holy Quran, فَإِذَا قُضِيَتِ الصَّلَاةُ فَانتَشِرُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَابْتَغُوا مِن فَضْلِ اللَّهِ وَاذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا لَّعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ 62:10 And when the prayer is ended, disperse freely on earth and seek to obtain [something] of God's bounty; but remember God often, so that you might attain to a happy state! إِنَّ اللّهَ لاَ يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّى يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ 13:11...God does not change people's condition unless they change their own selves The generally accepted meaning of these two verses is that one should not be passive toward the things in life which bring to bounty of Allah(s.w.a), meaning the thing in life which one needs to be happy and prosper. We are commanded to go out and actively seek those things. Get involved in Islamic Projects in your community, Use online tools(but be safe and reasonable with these), talk to family, friends, let people know that you are looking, attend conferences, etc. Allah(s.w.a) helps those who help themselves when it comes to their needs.
  15. 7 points

    Sayyed Ammar Naskhkawani done?

    To the person who mentioned that Sayyed Ammar Nakshawani might be drinking alcohol or taking drugs, that is an accusation that is highly unlikely and we should not entertain such thoughts. The camera focused on a can (it's not even clear enough to read the label) so it's probably a soft drink, but if someone claims it's alcohol, then we should also notice that the can has not been opened. It's just sitting there and it's not even in front of SAN but way off to the side, where someone else was sitting.
  16. 7 points
    What a bunch of whining losers, what is the purpose of this thread?
  17. 7 points
    they are resistance groups they dont kill sunnis they kill terrorists only
  18. 6 points


    Hi I am a shia convert Alhamdulilah since the past 4 years and honestly it has been incredible at the same time it has been difficult aswell. I just wanted to know why is it so diffcult for shia community to take a revert and make him/her a part of their family and even takes them time to make him/her a part of their community. Especially seeing that a convert already faces the bigger challenge of going against their parents and entire family to believe but these difficulties I would suppose would dishearten several individual who would like to convert. Any comments on this?
  19. 6 points
    Why is the child being punished if the parents deviate from guidelines of love making ?
  20. 6 points
    Abu Hadi


    It is difficult to make a general statement about muslim 'communities' since there are so many and so many different types of people within those communities with various agendas and levels of Iman. The one thing I have found to be pretty consistent across the communities I have participated in (I am a revert also) is that most of the leadership within Islamic Organizations (masjids, non profits, etc) are composed of older, first generation immigrants who are wealthy. They set up the organizations as 'culture clubs' for other immigrants from their particular country and region and for the children of these immigrants. Since a revert is usually not from their region and not connected to them (the leaders) by culture or family ties, they think of them as an 'outsider' and not to be trusted. So these centers and organizations are not set up to help or integrate reverts, unless you are a young, attractive female then you will be flooded with marriage proposals, then after marriage, the same issue(s) will be there. If you want my advice, I would say that you should try to find individuals within the community who understand the struggles and challenges you are going thru and are willing to give you some help and support, person to person. Preferably, these should be women if you are a women. Once you are 'sturdy' and knowledgeable and confident in your faith (this will probably take five to ten years), then you can interact with these centers of organizations as will benefit you based on your knowledge. Also, I would not rush into marriage as a new revert as you are vulnerable to being exploited and manipulated. Unless there is an urgent need (i.e. your faith is being affected as a result of not being married) I would wait until at least a few years to give yourself time to study and learn and adjust to the religion before marriage. The other thing I would like to say is that don't make any assumptions about someone (either good or bad) because they are a muslim or because they are Shia, or even because they hold a leadership or prominent position within the community. There are many people who claim to be muslim and followers of Muhammad(p.b.u.h) and Ahl Al Bayt(a.s). There are very few that actually follow the religion in a consistent way. Most take the 'shopping cart' approach where they follow the religion in areas where they like, and disregard it in other areas, but when you find those people who truly attempt to follow the religion in every aspect of their life (even though they may not be perfect), that more than makes up for the disappointments. Those true momineen and mominat (the faithful and trustworthy ones) are unique and special.
  21. 6 points

    The Gods of Man

    لَوْ كَانَ فِيهِمَا آلِهَةٌ إِلَّا اللَّـهُ لَفَسَدَتَا ۚ فَسُبْحَانَ اللَّـهِ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ عَمَّا يَصِفُونَ ﴿٢٢﴾ If there had been in them any gods except Allah, they would both have certainly been in a state of disorder; therefore glory be to Allah, the Lord of the dominion, above what they attribute (to Him). (22) http://tanzil.net/#trans/en.shakir/21:22 Also in Arabic text it refers to Goddess with female attributes because if they existed so they would born other gods.
  22. 6 points
    He never said it. He said that a donkey only thinks of its economy (what it eats and other things are not important for it).
  23. 6 points

    Donating Blood instead of Tatbir

    1.Tatbir doesn't has any religional base its just a bad tradition. 2.the best thing is donating blood for Ahlubayt (as) & is a great sacrifice.
  24. 6 points

    Tell me something about you!

    Salam! I am a Pakistani Khoja living in the States. I am a very reserved introvert, Myer's Briggs: INFJ, Zodiac Sign: Taurus, Enneagram: 6, and I am currently engaged in battle with the melting pot that is America to retain my identity and my religion. Dont have any hobbies that are worth mentioning and no talents that I know of as of yet. I really do love following International Politics though. My future is unknown at the moment, but I would very much like to go to Iran and study at the Hawza in my lifetime. I am a long time lurker here. I may have unpopular opinions, but please bear with me
  25. 6 points

    Not allowed to eat

    @5araName A lot of people here have NO idea about how OCD works, so this reply is all about that: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. Compulsions are behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease his or her distress. Obsessions are thoughts, images or impulses that occur over and over again and feel outside of the person’s control. Individuals with OCD do not want to have these thoughts and find them disturbing. In most cases, people with OCD realize that these thoughts don’t make any sense. Obsessions are typically accompanied by intense and uncomfortable feelings such as fear, disgust, doubt, or a feeling that things have to be done in a way that is “just right.” In the context of OCD, obsessions are time consuming and get in the way of important activities the person values. This last part is extremely important to keep in mind as it, in part, determines whether someone has OCD — a psychological disorder — rather than an obsessive personality trait. My advice is, you should sit down with your Mom and explain to her in detail about OCD. If she truly understands, then she will be sympathetic towards you... Ali~J