28 replies to this topic

[Aftahb]

Salam
FOr married PPL ONLY!!!!

a good friend of mine who is 25 just got married about 3 weeks ago and he loves the girl too much and shes 22.

But err....

on the weddin nite or the morning after that he discovered that she has a problem. A problem that ws hidden until now.

She faints frm time to time. Its vry random and unexpected. (He didnt want to tell everything to me.But thats the main ISSUE.)
Now he doesnt knw what to do. His family also found out.. so his mother is also kinda upset. He told me last nite. i asked him if he had asked her family.. His reply ws strange. he said wat will they do? but when i argued he said. he did ask her family and they denied knwing about it.. loll bloody lie.

HE is goin to take her for chek up but beside that i think its Genetics. Such thing doesnt start over a nite..

More about him..
HEs a simple religious guy. HE works 2 jobs n just bought a house. So hes in alot of tension finacilaly n frm Her aswell...

Point of Major fraud :

****A man over 2 days found out, but her family of birth didnt knw******


WHat would u do if ur spouse had such problem(god forbid) ?

THANk u

Edited by Aftahb, 25 July 2012 - 11:48 AM.

[Parto]

first of all he should ask doctor tht how comes tht she suddenly got this sickness! and if  he makes sure tht they have hidden this sickness, he can get divorce , because it is a big lie, who hides this important matter from her future husband is dishonest.

[Queen Yoda]

So what? She probably thought if she told her husband he would be put off her. Its not like he can catch it or anything.

A doctor can get to the bottom of the problem, she could have something as basic as amnemia (common among young women)

Tell your mate to behave like a man and look after his wife.

[wayfarer.]

vasovagal syncope? it could be anything..

http://www.webmd.com...fainting-basics

I would give her and her family the benfit of the doubt and try to get to the root cause of the problem first..

[UmmAhmad]

Maybe she is pregnant and if she is fasting, this might be the cause. Last year when I was pregnant and tried to fast I fainted many times. It could also be low blood pressure, low iron, it can be many things when it involves a lady. If he is looking at this as a way for divorce- not saying that he is, it's just how I perceived what you wrote- then that doesn't speak much for him as a man and a husband.

**I just realized that you said it was shortly after they married, so for sure it wouldn't be pregnancy.**

Edited by UmmAhmad, 25 July 2012 - 12:32 PM.

[Ruq]

What would i do? I'd do all i could to help them have the condition diagnosed and treated of course. There is no reason to assume it is genetic or anything necessarily to be overly concerned about, it could be to do with low blood pressure and somwthing non life threatening.  Im slightly concerned about the tone of your post to tbh, its almost as if you dont give a toss about this womans health and are more concerned that your friend has been landed with defective goods, to put it bluntly.

[lalala123]

So what if she faints?  Like other people have said, it could be something as simple as low blood pressure....Hardly something to go around asking for a divorce over.  It might even be heat stroke...it is the summer!!

He should take her to the doctor and get her diagnosed and treated.  Simples.

And what exactly is his mum upset about?  That her daughter-in-law faints?  

I have read some bizarre things on SC, but this has to be one of the bizarrest.

[BabyBeaverIsAKit]

Maybe she didn't think it was a big deal and that's why she didn't tell him! (She might not have intended to come off as hiding it.) A lot of these conditions are easily treatable! This isn't something like HIV where his health would be at risk!

~Ruqaya, on 25 July 2012 - 12:50 PM, said:

What would i do? I'd do all i could to help them have the condition diagnosed and treated of course. There is no reason to assume it is genetic or anything necessarily to be overly concerned about, it could be to do with low blood pressure and somwthing non life threatening.  Im slightly concerned about the tone of your post to tbh, its almost as if you dont give a toss about this womans health and are more concerned that your friend has been landed with defective goods, to put it bluntly.

Totally agree. SO selfish.

[Morning light]

Salam!

He should focus more on his wife than on anything else. That's the most important thing.
This could be some kind of epilepsy perhaps? As said in other posts, just go and check it up. It's not the end of the world if she faints now and then. The focus should be on her health, if he really cares about her.

One of my non-muslim friends' father has bipolar disorder and her mother found out after getting married. Or let say, she discovered it afterwards. But what  did she do? She stayed with her husband. Finito. There are so many couples who fight for each other in such situations, so why shouldn't two religious muslims do the same?

Wish the couple the best of luck,

[Abu Hadi]

Like Sis Ruqaya and other have said, don't assume she 'scammed' him and didn't disclose this in order to deceive.
That is a bad way to go about it. It shows lack of faith in Allah(s.w.a). He should have her see a doctor so that the condition can be properly diagnosed and then decide on treatment options. If he can't afford the best treatments available for her, then he should give her treatment with what he can afford and, if possible, ask his family and other who are in the position to help.

Also, it could be something simple, like low blood pressure due to fasting, etc. Get her checked by a doctor, then ask Allah(s.w.a) to help him and her to be able to deal with whatever it is.

[Goku]

not a big enough of  a reason to divorce her...

[Gypsy]

Go for the medical checkup and do blood work.

She could be anemic. But you wouldn't know unless you go for a check-up.

[Kamranistan]

Help her maybe..

Then find out what's what, even so if I was in his position it wouldn't matter to me. God chose it so, maybe as a test for him? Think of it that way if he finds it hard to deal with, although that's the way we should always be thinking. Insha'Allah works out for the best. But seriously I don't think he needs much advice.. It's simple Insha'Allah. No big deal imo.

[ImAli]

lalala123, on 25 July 2012 - 03:13 PM, said:

And what exactly is his mum upset about?  That her daughter-in-law faints?  

She is upset that her does no wrong perfect son has a wife with real world human problems. I mean common her son deserves nothing less than the personification of an angel accompanied by the looks of Miss Universe.

Yeah it sounds like she is one of those mother in laws.

[Darth Vader]

I wish my wife would faint and give everyone some downtime to relax every now and then.^^^ Your friend is blessed, I tell you. But on a serious note, take her to a doctor immediately and get her fixed.

[Wahdat]

Aftahb, on 25 July 2012 - 11:46 AM, said:

he loves the girl too much

some kind of love that must be as the whole world knows the secrets of his marriage just after 2 days.
tell your friend to man up.

[Kismet110]

Has he thought the tension/anxiety of suddenly being married may have bought this condition on?

If it was pre-existing (and serious) then it's a little dishonest to not mention it beforehand but I'm sure her positive attributes outweigh this one 'negative' and no family highlights 'defects' in their daughters. Unless they're blindingly obvious in which case they have no choice.

25 years old is not a child though. He should be a man about it and get her medically checked then sit down with her and discuss their joint future based on the seriousness (or otherwise) of her condition.

ALI

[MOHIB E AHLAYBAIT]

He might be upset now, but eventually he'll be happy about it, will give him some time by himself.... (blessing in disguise)

Jokes apart but its no big deal, look after her and don't even think of this as an issue, there are people going thorugh stuff a million times worse.

[fightingsoul001]

It is a beautiful opportunity for him to be happy, and prove that he is indeed thankful to Allah and that Allah has associated someone with him that needs his help. He can gain both worldly happiness and akhira by beautifully handling this situation.
If these things are not source of happiness than what else are?

Edited by fightingsoul001, 26 July 2012 - 11:09 AM.

[I Believe]

Why does the title say for married people only? It should say: "for anyone with decency and a conscience" because they would all tell you she's his wife and he better stand by her while they get this figured out. And he needs to figure out that he's destroying the sacredness of their relationship by telling others about her PERSONAL health issues.

Edited by I Believe, 27 July 2012 - 12:13 AM.

[Walkin' Fashion Statement]

That husband doesn't sound caring.

[Martyrdom]

I'm pretty sure he hasn't told her everything about him.

[Aftahb]

Martyrdom, on 29 July 2012 - 02:10 PM, said:

I'm pretty sure he hasn't told her everything about him.

i knw bro .. he didnt i dont knw why ppl here jump on assumptions n evil predictions loll ----- > TYPICAL SHIA MIND

Edited by Aftahb, 29 July 2012 - 03:06 PM.

[Tima]

He told his parents? What a wimp. I had a fainting problem too, had something to do with low iron. My husband didn't go cry to his mummy or his daddy. Your friend sounds like a complete pancake. No offense, and you, what have you got to say for yourself? You think her parents hid a fainting problem purposely? LOL, sorry, let me just grab my popcorn. This gets better and better. In fact, I will tell my family about this tragedy over dinner. You know, for a couple of laughs, maybe fits of hysteria too.

No in all seriousness, are you serious? LOL

Okay, seriously for real this time, I'll break it down to you sugar pie. Fainting isn't a deformity. It's very common amongst young ladies, and easily treated. Now, as a sister though... I am completely worried about his wife. Your friend might be the problem, I mean, she fainted after she saw him. LOL. Oh this is good buddy, I'll give you that.

I feel really sorry for the wife, really sorry that she married such a pancake. Give her my regards.

Cheers

LOL

[Forgive]

Tima, on 29 July 2012 - 03:51 PM, said:

He told his parents? What a wimp. I had a fainting problem too, had something to do with low iron. My husband didn't go cry to his mummy or his daddy. Your friend sounds like a complete pancake. No offense, and you, what have you got to say for yourself? You think her parents hid a fainting problem purposely? LOL, sorry, let me just grab my popcorn. This gets better and better. In fact, I will tell my family about this tragedy over dinner. You know, for a couple of laughs, maybe fits of hysteria too.

No in all seriousness, are you serious? LOL

Okay, seriously for real this time, I'll break it down to you sugar pie. Fainting isn't a deformity. It's very common amongst young ladies, and easily treated. Now, as a sister though... I am completely worried about his wife. Your friend might be the problem, I mean, she fainted after she saw him. LOL. Oh this is good buddy, I'll give you that.

I feel really sorry for the wife, really sorry that she married such a pancake. Give her my regards.

Cheers

LOL

the best comment i have heard in ages, good one LOL