42 replies to this topic

[diracdeltafunc]

ImAli, on 15 July 2012 - 11:26 AM, said:

More like was full of ego....she's dead by now.

Wow. You must be old!

[ImAli]

diracdeltafunc, on 15 July 2012 - 12:41 PM, said:

Wow. You must be old!

hahahahaha  

Well that was 24 years ago (4th grade....9 or 10 years old) and Madame "Dr." was just shy of 60....if she's not dead she is close to it .

[keys2paradise]

I got married and started my PhD at the same time. It was awful at times but I am pleased to say I have completed now, we are still together and my husband is very proud of me

Edited by keys2paradise, 16 July 2012 - 04:14 PM.

[Sapphire]

Dear Sister,

I am so proud of you. It is great that you are going for PhD. But there are certain responsibilities you can carry along with your PhD like marriage, husband and kids. It might seem difficult to do it. But INSHALLAH you will get through this stage. I hope you find a great understanding husband who would support you in your dreams and you two live a great fairy tale life together. INSHALLAH.

[I Believe]

Just for the record. I'm not saying it has to be either a phd or a marriage. I'm all for marriage and a happy family etc. However, the fact I'm an academic at heart and love learning and teaching shouldn't stop me from getting married.

Besides, I love smart sisters. We need more smart sisters who will make a change in their families and communities.

[YariAzQuran]

Go for the PhD!

But make sure that it is for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى, and not for personal gain, prestige, etc. It's desperately needed in our communities, and the more we represent Islam to many self-hating Muslims who look down on religious people as simple-minded and to ignorant Westerners, the better.

From your standpoint, if you were studying that PhD in pursuit of a high-endurance job, such as a medical doctor, then I would personally be catious of marriage with this type of person, as there won't be time during or after the PhD for raising a healthy family and devoting time to them. However, as your area of expertise (as I take it) lies closer to academia and iA a position as a professor, then you will have plenty of time during and after the PhD to spend with your husband.

Best of wishes iA

Edited by Zulfiqar14, 18 July 2012 - 01:10 AM.

[Marbles]

Zulfiqar14, on 18 July 2012 - 01:10 AM, said:

Go for the PhD!

But make sure that it is for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى, and not for personal gain, prestige, etc.

PhD fee sabeelallah?

How does one exactly do that? lol

[Darth Vader]

In the end, its the will that matters. If you want to polish your career then like everything else in this life there is a price to pay, a sacrifice for a gain.

You will definitely still be able to get plenty of willing would-be life partners.

[Chaotic Muslem]

if this will make any difference in how you do feel , my family men prefer a smart women with high degrees sometimes , one of them demanding an equal to him ,a PhD holder woman

i guess there is a man for each woman on this earth or as my friend put it , he who created you has created him as well

my concern regarding PhD  is  who will hire me instead of who will marry me ,also work nature might be more relevant to your marriage plans than the degree itself

( you are the first woman i meet who say she will not get a husband because of her degrees 0.0)

[kadhim]

If you do it, don't put the rest of your life on hold until it's over. Big mistake. Go in parallel. Pursue marriage at same time, don't wait. The support of a spouse is invaluable. Don't necessarily put off children either until after, unless you work at a deliberately accelerated pace. But even then, probably don't put it off, because even then there's always some other excuse to keep putting it off (Oh, I need to focus on establishing my career, etc).

[AR2011]

Quote

i guess there is a man for each woman on this earth or as my friend put it , he who created you has created him as well

that cant be true or else there wouldnt be people who pass away having never married.

[Gypsy]

I Believe, on 15 July 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

Salaam

Thank you all for the replies. I would like to eventually become a program director and college professor and these positions usually require a PHD or ED.D. I like my current job and will probably continue working throughought the PH.D until it's time to focus on my dissertation.

As for marriage, honestly a guy who is scared of 3 letters after my name is not worth my time. I also live in a community where many sisters do hold higher degrees. I just tend to overthink ( a lot).

My family really is indifferent about the situation, as long as they don't have to pay anything, they don't care.

PhD is a long commitment. It would take 4-5 years of your life. The only reason to do it is because it is something you always wanted to do and you see a bright future for yourself after gaining the highest degree possible.

[Pascal]

I Believe, on 14 July 2012 - 10:12 PM, said:

(Sorry if this is in the wrong forum...)

I'm wondering if getting a PHD was worth it to anyone that has done it or currently in the process. I'm almost done with my Master's degree in Child Development and Learning Disabilties. If I do go for a PHD I'd end up begining my program in 2013 and I'd be 23 so I know I'd be done before 30 (inshallah...).

My biggest concern is:

1. Feeling like I wasted my whole youth in college.
2. No one wanting to marry me because I'm "too smart."
3. Losing even more friends because right now I work full time and go to grad school. Most of my friends are in undergrad and living off their parents. I barely have time for anyone/anything anymore.

I have a high GPA (thank God) so I will probably earn plenty of grants for a PHD. I haven't really narrowed down what my field will be yet but I'm currently a special education teacher/interventionist and I enjoy my field very much.

Ok. I know the benefits of a PHD, but what could be some of the draw backs?

Help?

I'm considering going down this path.

(Depressingly) enough, the general consensus in my field is that with a bachelors degree, you're stuck doing "lab monkey" work, so i can definitely relate. I'm better off than most since if i dont go any further, the companies i will probably wind up working for tend to be money cannons (take a guess).

As for (1), Maybe it's because i'm not a muslim but i don't feel like i wasted my youth in university. I feel like it is pretty much youth to me. The people i know who didn't go to university or dropped out and got jobs seem to be living a much less youthful life so to speak.

If you explain the situation to your friends, i'm sure they might be able to adapt.

I'm quite amazed you can manage graduate school and full time work. As i'm sure you know from your masters, the work load isn't light. It'll probably get harder with a PhD, on the upside (at least in my country) you get staff rights and office space.

A few things to consider first of all:

(1) The cost. I discussed this in detail with a lot of people in my field before. In the 4-5 years it takes you to get a PhD full time, you could of been using your previous degree, earning more money and working your way up the ladder in those 4 or 5 years. Maybe got a promotion or two. The "opportunity cost" mentioned here (https://en.wikipedia...e_and_criticism) makes a very good point.

This is from a discussion i had quite some time ago, even though the PhD will result in a salary increase (you'd hope so but i've heard some real horror stories), it can take quite sometime:



As you can see, using the numbers i admittedly just roughly guessed all that time ago, it is reasonable to say that it could take something like 15 years (assuming your PhD nets you an extra 50 000 which is an overestimate maybe) to finally get some economic value on it.

(2) The process. Doing Masters, i'm sure this is at least in your mind. Here, it takes 4-5 years part time, you seem to be implying part time so it could be anywhere from 5-10 years. Looong time. It'll be a battle (a worthy one though). You'll be working your current job (perhaps) for all those years, making that salary, in addition to all your PhD work.  Here you actually get paid to do a PhD, so, i'm not sure if you'll no longer need to work once you have started, if so, i guess you can ignore that.

(3) Jobs. If you're doing it just for the pursuit of knowledge, great! If you're doing it to make a whole bunch more money or get a much better job, I'd look into that. Sometimes I've heard a PhD can be a disadvantage because you're seen as overqualified for a certain position and might be bored, feel too entitled, etc.  If you're doing it to go into academia, here, one or two professors supervise many more PhD students than one or two, its quite clear everyone can't become a professor. Some will lose out. Universities are irresponsible in this regard in my opinion. Especially in Fields like the Arts. They flood the market with students, the universities don't really care, they get the money in the end but it ruins it for the average honest person.

Sometimes in incredibly specialised fields (thankfully yours doesn't sound like one) you're waiting for an expert to die or retire to take his job.

Not to discourage. Just playing the devils advocate. Life is full of opportunities and chances, its up to us to seize them. A good rule i adapted from one of my favourite philosophers is this: If you were forced to live your life over and over and over and over to infinity, is there anything you would do different? is there anything you would change? are there any regrets? Go out and achieve all these things (well not the regrets)! We only get one shot here on this earth. "Good" is the enemy of Best after all.

Edited by kingpomba, 18 July 2012 - 04:28 PM.

[Haji 2003]

ImAli, on 15 July 2012 - 11:24 AM, said:

This reminds me of one of my grade school science teachers. She used to have a seizure, scream, and send you out of the room if  you addressed her as Ms. instead of Doctor .

OK. Who here has a Ph.D. and didn't immediately write to their banks, credit card companies etc. asking for their title to be changed?

[OneNoteSong]

I can name several doctors (PhD and MD kind) who don't want to be addressed as Dr. unless it is necessary in a professional situation. So, all docs do NOT have big egos. That is a common misconception.

[Darth Vader]

A good friend and class fellow of mine went to UK on scholarship after doing BSc engineering and did MSc and got offered a job with a company that also payed for his PHD. He must be in his mid twenties (around 27) when he completed the whole damned thing, got married, and is now set up for life as people would say.

Higher pay scales come with higher education or PHDs and with more experience. If I had the stomach to be an employee I would most definitely go for a PHD or two or a M.Phil or whatever. It would at least give me enough extra money to get creative with life and eventually start my own business and be an employer. Because, why be an employee for life and get bogged down with chronic to-the-death issues like mortgage and retirement funds. Life will only get more and more expensive as you travel down the road. But may be its just me.

[keys2paradise]

Haji 2003, on 18 July 2012 - 04:43 PM, said:

OK. Who here has a Ph.D. and didn't immediately write to their banks, credit card companies etc. asking for their title to be changed?

Me. What are the benefits in that? One of my banks still writes to me as 'miss' I am considering putting it on my next passport though, as a muhajjabe customs may be more easy going if they know i'm an academic travelling for work related events, dunno

Edited by keys2paradise, 20 July 2012 - 08:16 AM.

[wayfarer.]

No, a phd is not worth it. Look what this guy did --> http://gma.yahoo.com...topstories.html

j/k

go for it.