42 replies to this topic

[Queen Yoda]

Replicant, on 16 July 2012 - 09:03 AM, said:

If the potential candidate listens to mainstream music, will it be unwise to ask her to quit before marriage? I don't want my children growing up listening to ANY music...

You are in general rather picky arent you lol?

Let's hope your future wife is not as picky

[HellHound]

Yoda1, on 16 July 2012 - 05:26 PM, said:

You are in general rather picky arent you lol?

Let's hope your future wife is not as picky

If trying to raise your children the way the Imams did is referred to as "picky" then I gladly accept that term...

[Queen Yoda]

Replicant, on 16 July 2012 - 10:05 PM, said:

If trying to raise your children the way the Imams did is referred to as "picky" then I gladly accept that term...

Then let's hope you are a good husband who treats his wife with kindness just like the Imams did.

[Darth Vader]

KILL YODA!

[Queen Yoda]

Bring it on!

[HellHound]

QUIT DERAILING MY TOPIC

[ילדת מלך]

Yoda1, on 16 July 2012 - 05:26 PM, said:

You are in general rather picky arent you lol?

Let's hope your future wife is not as picky

Let's hope that she is ----

HellHound, on 17 July 2012 - 10:30 AM, said:

QUIT DERAILING MY TOPIC

if it's not personal, may I ask you why did you change your username ?

[HellHound]

^Because I'm gay.


Jokes aside, you will see why in a bit...

[Queen Yoda]

HellHound, on 17 July 2012 - 10:30 AM, said:

QUIT DERAILING MY TOPIC

Vader started it.

[Queen Yoda]

ילדת מלך, on 17 July 2012 - 10:32 AM, said:

Let's hope that she is ----

Nice one lol


if it's not personal, may I ask you why did you change your username ?

[Against oneself]

Against oneself, on 11 July 2012 - 02:10 PM, said:

how about askin a woman if she wont mind quitting work and do an islamic course instead? is that rude?

anyone?

[ImAli]

Against oneself, on 17 July 2012 - 10:11 PM, said:

anyone?

Is it rude?

Well it depends on how you react if she doesn't give you the answer you are hoping for.

[1472Maryam]

None of the things you have mentioned are rude.  When you are considering marriage and meeting someone, both you and she will have conditions that you think are important to consider before getting married.  Each of you will then have to decide whether you agree with or can live with the other's conditions.  If yes, alhamdullilah.  If no, then it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with either of you as a marriage partner, just that you are not right for each other.  So long as you don't react as if there is something wrong with her position, then it's not rude.  It's just a difference in outlook.

[syedasanna]

Salaamun Alaykum all,
InshAllah we will all find spouses whom complement us.
Essentially Brother, I think that all these traits you want you should look for in a potential spouse,not be attracted to a women and then intend on changing her. Rather be attracted to a women- potential spouse who would fit with these qualities so choose carefully and marry a pious women with a strong eiman it should then all work out.
And no I do not think you are being unreasonable, one can tell that your taking this marriage thing seriously and really thinking ahead rather than jumping in which is wise. Best of luck!

[Replicant]

Just want to point out that the 'Replicant' being quoted on this thread is not me lol.

[PureRose]

None of questions you have mentioned are rude. Also, a true pious woman would share most of your views when it comes to these issues. But make sure to never be TOO picky. Like if she has all the views and qualities you like, but there are one or two things you don't like about her, then that should not make you break up the marriage, because no one is perfect and everyone has faults. However if those "one or two" things that you don't like about her are hated by Allah SWT, then yes it would be appropriate to break it off.
InshaAllah we all find the right spouses that help us get closer to Allah SWT.

[fidhong]

salaam, i'm new here
i agree with most commenters that those are traits of pious woman and it's reasonable for a man to asks those things from his wife-to-be. personally i hope that my future husband requires those traits from me because i think it indicates that he would want to nurture a sakinah family.
oh and i heard this rule of thumb somewhere: when we're looking for a spouse, find one who different from us in a way that he/she fills where we lack, but have to be similar in a way that they hold the same set if values that we do, i think this applies

[N G]

Let your child go to a good school. They need to learn social interaction with other people, don't deny them this.

Just make sure they are mature  and know what is right or wrong.

As for the scarf...

let me go even further back.

I would only marry a women i know very well, and have seen her in her best and worst times.

I.E temporary marrige or some sort to get to know her.

You can't force a woman to wear a scarf. Just look for someone else. That will NOT end well.