Salamun Alaykum,
I was wondering what is the general opinion according the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) on marriage and money. I mean I know that even Imam Ali (a.s.) didn't have much when he was being married to Fatima Zahra (s.a.). But I am looking for how that would translate to NOW.
I am only 19 but I am (and have been for a while now) quite mature for marriage. My problem is that I am in University so I can't exactly afford to give my wife a nice $10000 ring, a nice house or anything of that sort. I can, however, offer premium quality love and compassion (I think)...=).
I don't hear about a lot of Shia couples being married in University so I am wondering if it is even doable? Perhaps I should wait like 5 more years and ignore my God-given legitimate desires....*sigh*
Thanks and please keep me in your Duas
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Money And Marriage: The Deal Breaker
Started by
AspiringToBeShia
, Jul 04 2012 03:28 PM
3 replies to this topic
#2
DoubleAgent4
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 03:36 PM
If your parents are willing to financially support you then by all means get married at this age. I know plenty of Shia couples married whilst in uni. With marriage comes responsibility so if you think you're ready then there's no problem getting married if you find the right person.
Your deeds alone are faithful: make them your refuge, for they alone will accompany you into the depths of the tomb - Rumi
حرفم حقِّ و حق هم مرگ
Check out this link for lectures in London: http://www.shiachat....ents-in-london/
حرفم حقِّ و حق هم مرگ
Check out this link for lectures in London: http://www.shiachat....ents-in-london/
#3
tahiraansari
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 03:42 PM
Salams
I'm happy to keep you in my Du'a. Be sure much more imporrtantly to ask the Ahlu Bayt a.s. to pray for you and ask Allah for you!
You are right about Imam Ali a.s. and his a.s. truth is good for all times.
I'ma woman who has traveled overseas and known the women in many countries. I was soooo disappointed to hear them all talking about money, money and more money. They talked more about their husband's money or the lack of it.
In the states I quit going to Du'a Kumayl with one group... someone called and asked why... i told them, it was not Du'a Kumayl but the time for women to talk about money and what their husbands were going buy them.
I hate to be negative all the time, but we have to be realistic!
Of course you can marry while in the university... and money is hard for most students but that doesn't last forever. If a woman can't see you for the real important characteristics of one's belief, honorable character etc. then let them go marry some rich man!
When i married before and if I do again, my maher will be inshaAllah the same as Adam's was to Hawa which is for the husband to repeat 'Allah humma salle ahle Mohammadan wa ahle Mohammad' ten times.
Also, i know you are thinking of your physical needs by your post, but also think of the long lasting qualities you want in a wife.
just advice, take it or leave it!
I'm happy to keep you in my Du'a. Be sure much more imporrtantly to ask the Ahlu Bayt a.s. to pray for you and ask Allah for you!
You are right about Imam Ali a.s. and his a.s. truth is good for all times.
I'ma woman who has traveled overseas and known the women in many countries. I was soooo disappointed to hear them all talking about money, money and more money. They talked more about their husband's money or the lack of it.
In the states I quit going to Du'a Kumayl with one group... someone called and asked why... i told them, it was not Du'a Kumayl but the time for women to talk about money and what their husbands were going buy them.
I hate to be negative all the time, but we have to be realistic!
Of course you can marry while in the university... and money is hard for most students but that doesn't last forever. If a woman can't see you for the real important characteristics of one's belief, honorable character etc. then let them go marry some rich man!
When i married before and if I do again, my maher will be inshaAllah the same as Adam's was to Hawa which is for the husband to repeat 'Allah humma salle ahle Mohammadan wa ahle Mohammad' ten times.
Also, i know you are thinking of your physical needs by your post, but also think of the long lasting qualities you want in a wife.
just advice, take it or leave it!
#4
AspiringToBeShia
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:47 PM
Thank you Hawra and thank you tahiraansari your words were very inspiring. I absolutely agree with you. And no its not JUST about the physical needs (though yes that is a big factor). I also consider the emotional and mental aspect of it.
Firstly, I don't exactly have someone to EMOTIONALLY connect with and open up (like REALLY emotionally open up) so I think a wife is perfect for that. I believe that is the case with most guys but they (like myself) are often very good at hiding those things.
Also, I hope that after getting married I can focus on the improving my spiritual character because right now it is at level 0 (honestly lol). If the 12th Imam (ajtf) was here, he would definitely NOT consider me as one of his Shia so I hope to change that with this marriage.
By the way, I did not know that about Hazrat Adam and Huwa. Perhaps I will mention that someday to a potential wife, offer that as the mahr and see how she reacts lol. It would be a good indicator of her piety, I guess (or that she has succumbed to my charms muhahahahah).
Thank you for your advice!
Firstly, I don't exactly have someone to EMOTIONALLY connect with and open up (like REALLY emotionally open up) so I think a wife is perfect for that. I believe that is the case with most guys but they (like myself) are often very good at hiding those things.
Also, I hope that after getting married I can focus on the improving my spiritual character because right now it is at level 0 (honestly lol). If the 12th Imam (ajtf) was here, he would definitely NOT consider me as one of his Shia so I hope to change that with this marriage.
By the way, I did not know that about Hazrat Adam and Huwa. Perhaps I will mention that someday to a potential wife, offer that as the mahr and see how she reacts lol. It would be a good indicator of her piety, I guess (or that she has succumbed to my charms muhahahahah).
Thank you for your advice!
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