46 replies to this topic

[Abu Hadi]

Here is the scenario,

You meet a girl in school (or at work ) who you think has a good personality. She is practicing the religion, is muhajibat, and you have had a few relgious based discussions with her. So this goes on for a few months, then one day she asks you about the topic of marriage generally, and then drops some hints so you get the message that she is interested in marrying you. So you consider it, and say you will go talk to the father.

You talk to the father, and he gives his enthusiastic approval . Before you 'take the plung' you ask him if you can see her in normal cloths, without hijab. He resists at first but finally agrees. So you see her in jeans and a t shirt and notice that she is a little on the hefty side of things. You do the calculations in your head and figure that after a couple of kids she will blow up like a water baloon. So after ,this you give some lame excuse to leave and later tell her that 'you are just not ready to get married' and that you will revisit the idea in a few months. She gets the message.

You see her a few years later at the shopping mall and she has taken off her hijab, is dressing trashy and flirting with guys. You come to find out that she stopped doing salat, going to the masjid, etc. So same question. Would you feel bad ?

Sisters don't answer or I'll send my little annoying cousins over to your house to break your lamps and get everything messy.
BTW, I already voted. Yes, I would feel horrible. This is not a real scenario (that I know of)

Edited by Abu Hadi, 26 June 2012 - 06:23 PM.

[Shia_Debater]

Yes I would feel bad - the reason for not marrying is a non islamic criteria (looks) and besides it's not like it's impossible to lose weight

[Mutah_King]

LOL FLIRTING WITH MEN?? THANK GOD OH LORD YOU SAVED ME FROM A ******

***goes down in sujood and performs 10000 rakat mushtahab prayer*

[Bonafide Hustler]

Mutah_King, on 26 June 2012 - 06:36 PM, said:

LOL FLIRTING WITH MEN?? THANK GOD OH LORD YOU SAVED ME FROM A ******

***goes down in sujood and performs 10000 rakat mushtahab prayer*

Haha.

[ImAli]

You can't expect people (male or female) to marry someone they are not attracted to....nor should they have to feel guilty about it. Also if this hypothetical girl starts dressing like a hooker and throwing herself at men because of rejection she is weak and only she is responsible for her bad behavior.

[AR2011]

^ ImAli, if u need help with tidying up, ani bil khidma. i can be round in a few hours.

Abu Hadi, on 26 June 2012 - 06:02 PM, said:

Sisters don't answer or I'll send my little annoying cousins over to your house to break your lamps and get everything messy.

[Love-Of-Islam]

Abu Hadi, on 26 June 2012 - 06:02 PM, said:

Here is the scenario,

You meet a girl in school (or at work ) who you think has a good personality. She is practicing the religion, is muhajibat, and you have had a few relgious based discussions with her. So this goes on for a few months, then one day she asks you about the topic of marriage generally, and then drops some hints so you get the message that she is interested in marrying you. So you consider it, and say you will go talk to the father.

You talk to the father, and he gives his enthusiastic approval . Before you 'take the plung' you ask him if you can see her in normal cloths, without hijab. He resists at first but finally agrees. So you see her in jeans and a t shirt and notice that she is a little on the hefty side of things. You do the calculations in your head and figure that after a couple of kids she will blow up like a water baloon. So after ,this you give some lame excuse to leave and later tell her that 'you are just not ready to get married' and that you will revisit the idea in a few months. She gets the message.

You see her a few years later at the shopping mall and she has taken off her hijab, is dressing trashy and flirting with guys. You come to find out that she stopped doing salat, going to the masjid, etc. So same question. Would you feel bad ?

Sisters don't answer or I'll send my little annoying cousins over to your house to break your lamps and get everything messy.
BTW, I already voted. Yes, I would feel horrible. This is not a real scenario (that I know of)

bold part 1: There is always diet
bold part2: which girl in their right mind will stop namaz because a guy rejected her? That would mean her imaan was weak to begin with and the guy is just a excuse to get her out of the religion..

[Gotham]

the brother should realize that he's probably gonna swell up like a balloon himself in a few years, and be a typical bot-bellied old man.

but yeah, if i was that guy, i wouldnt feel guilty.

[Propaganda_of_the_Deed]

Hefty? There would just be more of her to love.

Edited by Propaganda_of_the_Deed, 26 June 2012 - 08:01 PM.

[Fink]

I guess Im the only one who likes them a little hefty??

[Ruq]

^ lol, P of the D wants to be prom king.

[awaiting_for_the.12th]

...if only she would have been making sandwiches none of this would have happened.
/i joke

[awaiting_for_the.12th]

^ well for some guys its hard to be attracted to that. I take a weighing machine when searching for my soul-mate. Anything over 120lbs and its not happening.

[Haydar Husayn]

Assuming she is otherwise good looking, it would make more sense to get her to lose weight after the marriage, rather than to just turn her down. Good wives don't grow on trees, and you'd have to be pretty stupid to turn a potential one down based on something that is relatively easily rectified (or that can possibly even be overlooked in light of her other qualities). On the other hand, if she did start acting like that after the rejection, then clearly she wasn't very religious in the first place.

[Ali Musaaa :)]

This may sound like a dumb question, but I have heard that when you are looking to get married (as in the case above) you are allowed to see the girl you are interested in, without her hijab in 'non Islamic clothes' in this case, t-shirt and jeans. I thought its not permitted for a Muslim woman to take off her hijab infront of men who are not part of her family?

I am not even a year old (of being a Muslim ) so I don't much about this subject nor have I taken time to study this area so forgive me for asking.

[Gotham]

Haydar Husayn, on 26 June 2012 - 09:58 PM, said:

Assuming she is otherwise good looking, it would make more sense to get her to lose weight after the marriage

dont most brides-to-be undergo dieting before the marriage anyway?

[Haydar Husayn]

Ali Musaaa , on 26 June 2012 - 10:00 PM, said:

This may sound like a dumb question, but I have heard that when you are looking to get married (as in the case above) you are allowed to see the girl you are interested in, without her hijab in 'non Islamic clothes' in this case, t-shirt and jeans. I thought its not permitted for a Muslim woman to take off her hijab infront of men who are not part of her family?

I am not even a year old (of being a Muslim ) so I don't much about this subject nor have I taken time to study this area so forgive me for asking.

There is an exception in the final stages of agreeing to a marriage.

[Ali Musaaa :)]

Haydar Husayn, on 26 June 2012 - 10:06 PM, said:

There is an exception in the final stages of agreeing to a marriage.

Ah okay. Thanks Brother

[Haydar Husayn]

haidernyc, on 26 June 2012 - 10:01 PM, said:

dont most brides-to-be undergo dieting before the marriage anyway?

Possibly, but there isn't much point if she is just going to put it back on soon afterwards, which would likely be the result if she crash-dieted before the wedding, for example..

[Mutah_King]

Haydar Husayn, on 26 June 2012 - 09:58 PM, said:

Assuming she is otherwise good looking, it would make more sense to get her to lose weight after the marriage, rather than to just turn her down. Good wives don't grow on trees, and you'd have to be pretty stupid to turn a potential one down based on something that is relatively easily rectified (or that can possibly even be overlooked in light of her other qualities). On the other hand, if she did start acting like that after the rejection, then clearly she wasn't very religious in the first place.

LOOOL! You have a better shot at working your wife overtime compiling hadiths than shedding some pounds.

The only sure shot way that works 50% of the time is introducing slimer and younger co-wives, even then,  half of them eventually go all bitter feminazi on you.

[Fink]

Zahratul_Islam, on 26 June 2012 - 09:45 PM, said:

I groaned at that part too though. I was expecting some really compelling physical deterrent.. like a seventh toe or the body analogous to that of a 12 year old male.

But nope. Homegirl just knows how to fill out her jeans. The horror

Perhaps if we can get the five toed ladies to get married first, we can then work on the 7 toed ones.

Now ladies just being on shiachat increases your odds of marriage by atleast 25%,

and if you stay a little hefty maybe one day you'll be fortunate enough to have one of us cool shiachat boys.

[Gotham]

awaiting_for_the.12th, on 26 June 2012 - 09:57 PM, said:

Anything over 120lbs and its not happening.

you want an anorexic wife then.