I read from many of the brothers in the brothers forum as well as others subdirectories of shiachat.org that a lot of young(and older married)men suffer with the problem of controlling the lust of sexual desires(and others) which tends to lead to masturbation(for the non married) or for adultery haram acts(for the married)
Now i am talking from experience here and i hope you take my advice sincerely as i have sincerely tried to convey to you and show respect towards what i am about to say for i speak with good intention to my brothers sufferings from the the evil of these effects and tests
Firstly lust is a strong desire in men, and it can feel so overwhelming that it feels like nothing in this world can stop you from falling into sin, no matter how much Quran you read, how much nasheed you listen to, and sometimes how much even you cry and pray to God for help, that no matter what you do the lust returns back to you and makes feel like it completely weighs you down and overwhelms on you as if the world is on your back when you are faced and affected by it
Sometimes the sisters don't understand what it is like to be a man growing up, with all of your healthy natural testosterone juices flowing in order that you may grow into a healthy strong young man to fulfil your service and purpose in reality of dunya, and they cannot empathize with the hardship of the trial of lust that gets imposed upon us
These feelings(strong feelings) of lust come at you at all angles and at all times that sometimes even when you are not thinking or doing anything particular which might cause and arouse these feelings within you or have any kind of logical revere or inference within your imagination that lead to these ideas coming up and about within yourself.
Do not fear, and do not panic or be afraid or think that God has abandoned you to fail in this life and to fall into sin for there is an answer to this problem we face.
The easiest option and the option recommended highly by the prophet and imams(pbut) is to get married no doubt and to satisfy this requirement of the human body is the most ideal and simplest and best solution to the problem. However unfortunately in this day and age due to social standards and our own prejudice and understanding, and even sometimes arrogance and inclinations we have accumulated , as well as our extremely high standards(due to media and all of its insistent evil they portray) we make up all kinds of excuses as to why we dont want to get married(or why we dont accept any humble sisters that may come our way by God's will) furthermore society which we are influenced by greatly in addition to our bigotry and indoctrination that the western media plays a major part, leads to our excuses upon excuses not to find ourselves a wife, or a wife to find us. So we are greatly to blame for this mishap we have allowed ourselves to fall into and thus suffer the consequences.
now to the point of my post, fear not, there is a solution to your problem...............
Turns out your problem has come as a blessing in disguise and as a an guidance from God almighty most gracious most merciful calling you to him via the medium of your own self
But you must know and realize very important point before you decide to face it or to attempt to grasp the solution and succeed in it inshallah
with change and with resistance there is always causalities, and the reality is that there is no pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow, nor is the grass greener on the other side, because the reality of life and situation we are in is that we are NOT in heaven yet(inshallah we make it there), and that this life IS meant to be hard, this life IS going to put you through trials, tests, and tribulations to the point that you will be broken and traumatized and scarred and scared all the way unto judgement day where you will finally reach ultimate and permanent relief, for this life is and will and must be hard in order for you to be successful and enter the pure gardens of bliss
i quote this verse of the Quran to warn you before you progress further because for those of us living in the west, we seem to have forgotten the basis of our principals of religion and the purpose of our life here in dunya
Yusuf Ali:Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? they encountered suffering and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the Apostle and those of faith who were with him cried: "When (will come) the help of God?" Ah! Verily, the help of God is (always) near!
Zohurul Hoque:Or do you reckon that you will enter the Garden, until there has come to you the like of that upon those who preceded you? Distress and affliction befell them, and they were shaken, ultimately the Rasul and those who have believed with him said: "When the help of Allah?" Is it not that the help of Allah is near?
T. J. Irving:Or did you reckon you will enter the Garden when the same thing never happened to you such as [happened] to those who have passed away before you? Suffering and hardship assailed them, and they were battered about until the Messenger and those who believed along with him said: "When is God's support [due]? Is not God's support near?"
T.U. Hilali-M. Khan:Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, "When (will come) the Help of Allâh?" Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allâh is near!.
M. Pickthall:Or think ye that ye will enter paradise while yet there hath not come unto you the like of (that which came to) those who passed away before you ? Affliction and adversity befell them, they were shaken as with earthquake, till the messenger (of Allah) and those who believed along with him said: When cometh Allah's help ? Now surely Allah's help is nigh.
Or do you think that you would enter the garden while yet the state of those who have passed away before you has not come upon you; distress and affliction befell them and they were shaken violently, so that the Apostle and those who believed with him said: When will the help of Allah come? Now surely the help of Allah is nigh!
Now as you can see this test you face you face with reason and with purpose and i hope it clears up the question as to why this is happening to you, for the problem cannot be addressed until the problem is identified and understood, and i hope this verse has identified and manifested to you the reason as to why you face it
it is not there to send you astray, nor is it there to make your life eternally miserable, nor are you punished, nor are you hated by God, or despised and turned away, for the fact that you are facing the difficulty is proof in it self that God is calling you to himself, and God is calling you to be free and successful to receive the ultimate gift which is pure pleasure of heaven
Now as i have stated earlier above that the best way to deal with this problem is marriage, however if you are the rouge sole adventurer full of strength and vigour, and a striving for the best rewards of God then you are going in the right direction, your natural rejection for the lower pleasures of life for something far greater and better and something which is so pleasurable that it is undeniable and inconceivable and irresistible, as well as the complete success in this world and in the next, then you have come to the right place seeking ultimate victory in life of dunya as well as akhira, for the rewards are both earthly as well as heavenly in its success, and the pleasure you will receive can never be matched by anything this short life can offer, no matter how amplified and intense it may come an in what degree of potency
Your first natural and beautiful guidance from God is that natural tendency within you seeking to eliminate and destroy this self inclination to cause you to sin and be inclined towards the short lived and pathetic pleasures of this pathetic life, so you rejected marriage, and you rejected satisfying the low desire within yourself and you wanted to do all in your power to eliminate it and go for something far greater and beautiful that the eye cannot perceive, the heart cannot understand, and the imagination cannot imagine, you want permanent ultimate pleasure which Allah rewards those who attain this self elimination of the nafs, so here it is i give it to you just as it was given to me, and i alas i call you to come to this banquet of ultimate beauty and pleasure which is with God that can be attained here in this life, and ultimate power bestowed upon its practiser
So eliminate this nafs, and do it for it can be attained, and the doors of the next world will open to you, and true and beautiful guidance will come, and real and ultimate knowledge will burst from your heart, and beautiful and ultimate pleasure will be given as a reward
all you have to do is what the Holy Quran instructed us to do, and it start with one key number 40
40 is the first step in eliminating the habit of the human being, any habit in this life you have developed no matter whether it is religion related or life related can be eliminated by abstaining from this practise for forty days, in fact even good deeds which are not practised for forty daya get eliminated from you, and you no longer possess their benefits or blessings if you do not practise them, but that is for another discussion
now the aspect of forty is a very important number for the human being, for by practising it, you will have overcome and eliminated anything which might have clinged onto your heart, mind, or body
so with the intention of dealing with the issue originally addressed, i speak on how to deal with the issue which is the first step in a greater call of God to you
so you are faced with the difficult of lust(regardless whether it be man or women) and you want to eliminate this feeling
the simple and easy solution to do so is as simple as this one line i am about to write(and you read in the next sentence)
for 40 days fast, and during this time, do not do any exercise, or eat at night more then a slice of bread, or a spoonful of rice as well as 3 dates and a glass of water(in normal circumstances in circumstances such as you are a labourer contact me for some advice as to how you can aim to fast from food while having to endure a hard job which involves physical work)
so for forty days do as i have instructed above, and you will see how your desires will slowly dissipate to nothing and eventually completely disappear. For some it might take a little longer, but the stages should normally be 3 days, then 7 days, then 14 days and finally 40 days which your desires will slowly slowly weaken and eventually disappear
now the great part to all of this is that as your desires disappear(with others arising and also eventually disappearing for as long as you do not answer them) you will eventually become and open up yourself witnessing yourself to yourself(now i know this sounds strange but once experienced it will be easy to understand) and God will begin to reveal to you who you really are
the eyes and ears of the akhira and barzakh will open inside you and you will begin to witness the stages which at this point will not need be mentioned but definitely promised to you to be a witness of them
how much is revealed to you depends on your spirituality and also depends on how much of the other shiaria is practised and other sins abstained from
what i much more beautiful is that you mind and body will become to be purified
your sense will become sharpened and your intellect will become vigorous and pertinent as time goes by and you will unlock the genius within you
now to mention the details of all of these after effects has no reason and is not purposeful or helpful at this time
so to reiterate, your intention is to purify yourself from lust, and your goal will be absolutely unimaginable and grand when you reach it, it will unlock all kinds of potentialities and you will reach ultimate perfection and freedom, and will reach the stages off mumineen, muslim, and mujahid, and eventually sehid
but bear in mind you will first have t go through the stages of hypocracy, and polytheism , and even kufr, for until we fully purify ourselves, the reality of us is not that which we think, and there are many veils of disbelief caught up in our hearts that we are completely unaware of, and only until and when we attempt to eliminate them, will we enter perfection and true belief and faith in Allah inshallah
so good and luck and may Allah have mercy on us all and may you be successful inshallah