146 replies to this topic

[KimK]

Apparently, Islam places no burden or obligation of domestic duties on the wife. But what if she has children? Does she let them starve if she doesn't have to cook?

I want to know the main obligatory roles of the wife? Am I to believe it's catering sex to the husband and asking permission every time before going out?

[titumir]

I want to know the main obligatory roles of the wife? Am I to believe it's catering sex to the husband and asking permission every time before going out?

Those are the obligatory duties AFAIK. Let me guess... You feel it demeans women and makes them like useless things, good only for sex and who must be controlled, right?

[ילדת מלך]

Apparently, Islam places no burden or obligation of domestic duties on the wife. But what if she has children? Does she let them starve if she doesn't have to cook?

I want to know the main obligatory roles of the wife? Am I to believe it's catering sex to the husband and asking permission every time before going out?

What are you actually trying to say ?---

[KimK]

Those are the obligatory duties AFAIK. Let me guess... You feel it demeans women and makes them like useless things, good only for sex and who must be controlled, right?

If I get married to a disabled man in a wheelchair, who's slightly mentally retarded, what are my responsibilities then?

Also, if I have kids how do I feed them if I don't have to cook? What are my idiosyncratic responsibilities towards my children?

[Haydar Husayn]

Those are a wife's obligatory martial duties. Obviously you have other duties as a Muslim, such as caring for your children and husband (just as he has a duty to care for his wife and children). You even have duties towards your neighbours, let alone your family.

[KimK]

Those are a wife's obligatory martial duties. Obviously you have other duties as a Muslim, such as caring for your children and husband (just as he has a duty to care for his wife and children). You even have duties towards your neighbours, let alone your family.

Am I allowed to beat my husband with a miswak if he gets out of line?

Oh yeah, and how do I feed my kids if I don't have to cook?

Edited by KimK, 12 June 2012 - 11:31 AM.

[covertiman]

Apparently, Islam places no burden or obligation of domestic duties on the wife. But what if she has children? Does she let them starve if she doesn't have to cook?

I want to know the main obligatory roles of the wife? Am I to believe it's catering sex to the husband and asking permission every time before going out?

Allah knows best. Such laws are necessary in order to protect women who have historically always been mistreated and enslaved. Islam may mandate that women must only meet a man's needs so that he does not fall into sin but if she chooses to do more than of course Allah will reward her appropriately.

[KimK]

women must only meet a man's needs so that he does not fall into sin

If I don't meet his needs because I can't be bothered or don't feel like it, is this my one way ticket to hell?

[Haydar Husayn]

Am I allowed to beat my husband with a miswak if he gets out of line?

No.

Oh yeah, and how do I feed my kids if I don't have to cook?

Just because you don't have to cook, it doesn't mean that you can't, or shouldn't.

[ילדת מלך]

Do you know Kimk, there are many households where despite having ample resources, women cook themselves, and they feel neither exploited nor mistreated. whether it's a duty or not, it definitely is an expression of love. Women do love their parents, siblings, kids and spouse. It neither demeans them nor degrades them

What is your issue right now ?

Edited by ילדת מלך, 12 June 2012 - 12:34 PM.

[covertiman]

If I don't meet his needs because I can't be bothered or don't feel like it, is this my one way ticket to hell?

So, you disregard everything else I stated and focused on this one phrase?

I will answer your question directly, though you already know the answer, dear sister.

According to Grand Ayatullah Ali Sistani:

For a woman with whom permanent marriage is contracted, it is haraam to go out of the house without the permission of her husband, though her leaving may not violate the rights of the husband. Also she should submit herself to his sexual desires, and should not prevent him from having sexual intercourse with her, without justifiable excuse. Note here: if the wife knows her husband will allow her to leave her home, she doesn't have to ask.

Same responsiblities fall upon men: It is not permissible for the husband to abandon sexual intercourse with his youthful, permanent wife for more than 4 months, except when sexual intercourse is harmful to him, or involves unusually more effort, or when the wife herself agrees to avoid it, or if a prior stipulation to that effect was made at the time of Nikah by the husband. And in this rule, there is no difference between the situations when the husband is present, or on a journey, or whether she is a wife by permanent or temporary marriage.

[kadhim]

Am I allowed to beat my husband with a miswak if he gets out of line? Oh yeah, and how do I feed my kids if I don't have to cook?

There is "have to" in the sense of religious obligation.

And then there is "have to / need to" in the sense of logistical / physiological necessity.

The intelligent generally have no problem understanding the difference.

[Aliaabbas]

I think in every society there is an expectation for women to be some kind of superwoman. We are expected to have great careers, be fantastic mothers and wonderful wives. I could work a 11 hour day but know that I am still expected to make dinner for my husband, that said he is a kind and understanding man and I would like to think that if I was not able to fulfill my wifely duties once in a while - then I would not get cursed

Edited by Aliaabbas, 12 June 2012 - 12:54 PM.

[forte]

Women have a duty to their husbands and a role in the family. If the outside job is making it hard to do your duty to your husbands and to be good at your role as wife and mother you have to lessen your outside job. Family is first.

[KimK]

So, you disregard everything else I stated and focused on this one phrase?

I will answer your question directly, though you already know the answer, dear sister.

According to Grand Ayatullah Ali Sistani:

For a woman with whom permanent marriage is contracted, it is haraam to go out of the house without the permission of her husband, though her leaving may not violate the rights of the husband. Also she should submit herself to his sexual desires, and should not prevent him from having sexual intercourse with her, without justifiable excuse. Note here: if the wife knows her husband will allow her to leave her home, she doesn't have to ask.

Same responsiblities fall upon men: It is not permissible for the husband to abandon sexual intercourse with his youthful, permanent wife for more than 4 months, except when sexual intercourse is harmful to him, or involves unusually more effort, or when the wife herself agrees to avoid it, or if a prior stipulation to that effect was made at the time of Nikah by the husband. And in this rule, there is no difference between the situations when the husband is present, or on a journey, or whether she is a wife by permanent or temporary marriage.

According to Ayatullah Sistani:


2425. If the husband who is responsible for the wife's maintenance, does not provide her the same, she can draw her expenses from his property without his permission.  And if this is not possible, and she is obliged to earn her livelihood, and she cannot take her case to the Mujtahid, who would compel him (even by threatening him with imprisonment) to pay the maintenance,
it will not be obligatory upon her to obey her husband while she is engaged in earning her livelihood.

Sistani says that, as I'm working, I have no obligation to obey my husband in any matter whatsoever.

[ImAli]

And everyone likes to call ImAli a feminist

[Aliaabbas]

Women have a duty to their husbands and a role in the family. If the outside job is making it hard to do your duty to your husbands and to be good at your role as wife and mother you have to lessen your outside job. Family is first.

Not always very practical though, especially in these days of financial insecurity.

[ילדת מלך]

According to Ayatullah Sistani:


2425. If the husband who is responsible for the wife's maintenance, does not provide her the same, she can draw her expenses from his property without his permission. And if this is not possible, and she is obliged to earn her livelihood, and she cannot take her case to the Mujtahid, who would compel him (even by threatening him with imprisonment) to pay the maintenance,
it will not be obligatory upon her to obey her husband while she is engaged in earning her livelihood.

Sistani says that, as I'm working, I have no obligation to obey my husband in any matter whatsoever.

Good,

now what else do you want to get clarified ?

Edited by ילדת מלך, 12 June 2012 - 01:08 PM.

[forte]

Not always very practical though, especially in these days of financial insecurity.

Finances are up and down and we have to live as we can afford. Family is more important and the investment is for a lifetime.

Edited by forte, 12 June 2012 - 01:14 PM.

[KimK]

No.

Sorry, dude, according to Sistani the husband can't beat me with a miswak either because he has no authority over me if I'm working

Just because you don't have to cook, it doesn't mean that you can't, or shouldn't.

But God, the Divine Authority, says I don't have to. If my kids die from hunger, it wouldn't really be my fault would it?

And everyone likes to call ImAli a feminist

Hey, I'm not a lesbian.

Edited by KimK, 12 June 2012 - 01:17 PM.

[ImAli]

Hey, I'm not a lesbian.

Good for you

Now you need to stop making life harder than it has to be. Getting all worked up over these things will only make you old and bitter.

[ילדת מלך]

But God, the Divine Authority, says I don't have to. If my kids die from hunger, it wouldn't really be my fault would it?

It's not even bitterness, for bitterness has its own grace; it's plain myopia paired up with obstinacy , which is not likely to serve any purpose.

Edited by ילדת מלך, 12 June 2012 - 01:36 PM.

[kadhim]

According to Ayatullah Sistani: 2425. If the husband who is responsible for the wife's maintenance, does not provide her the same, she can draw her expenses from his property without his permission. And if this is not possible, and she is obliged to earn her livelihood, and she cannot take her case to the Mujtahid, who would compel him (even by threatening him with imprisonment) to pay the maintenance, it will not be obligatory upon her to obey her husband while she is engaged in earning her livelihood. Sistani says that, as I'm working, I have no obligation to obey my husband in any matter whatsoever.

What? No. Read the first line. This is specifically in the context of a husband not providing maintenance. It does not say in general that your duties are waived if you work.

But God, the Divine Authority, says I don't have to. If my kids die from hunger, it wouldn't really be my fault would it?

Are you stupid or what?

[KimK]

What? No. Read the first line. This is specifically in the context of a husband not providing maintenance. It does not say in general that your duties are waived if you work.

O, so if a husband shirks and refuses to perform his duties there's no problem up above. But if the wife refuses to perform her duties, she gets divine wrath poured on her head.

Yeah, great patriarchal logic you got there. Niiice.

Are you stupid or what?

Nope, it's the husbands fault. He's supposed to provide. But then again, if he refuses to provid, he's not cursed by angels..

Wow, so many plot holes.

[Gepetto_Zapata]

O, so if a husband shirks and refuses to perform his duties there's no problem up above. But if the wife refuses to perform her duties, she gets divine wrath poured on her head.

Yeah, great patriarchal logic you got there. Niiice.



Nope, it's the husbands fault. He's supposed to provide. But then again, if he refuses to provid, he's not cursed by angels..

Wow, so many plot holes.

Your views are kind of understandable, but you do know that a man having a frigid wife is similar to necrophilia don't you now? It's just wrong...