69 replies to this topic

[Labayka Ya Hussein (a.s)]

Salam sisters,
i am soon to get married alhumdulileh, he is the perfect man   
but as i have never been with someone of the opposite sex i am extemely nerveous... i even get scared to hold his hand! i dont want to ruin this amazing life becuase of my inhability to kiss someone..... help please

[Gypsy]

You'll figure out how to kiss someone after you get married. So, don't worry.

[lover of Mola]

wasalaam

After marriage things get normal automatically
u r now nervous mostly every girl is before marriage but after marriage when u will b with him all da time, slowly u will b go with flow

just try to be friendly with him after marriage things will be okay

Best of Luck

[AR2011]

ah i have also wondered about such things.

gypsy is a wise lady. take her advice.

congrats on finding the perfect one for u. all the best to u sis.

[Maryaam]

Interesting first post.  Talk to married sisters, they are very helpful and check out you tube.

Edited by Maryaam, 29 April 2012 - 10:41 AM.

[Endless Emotion]

Actually, marriage relationships aren’t a high priority for me, so I’m not sure if I’m even qualified to help you..
you remind me of my little sister she was afraid too, but el7mdollilah after marriage u'll learn everything step by step ...
relax, take it easy and don't hurry things up!

Edited by Silent Waves, 29 April 2012 - 10:42 AM.

[~Zee Zee~]

Or just go check out the brother's forums.....i heard they discuss everything from under the sun

[Aqua]

Don't be nervous - but if you are, don't let that deter you. After you're married, just follow your instincts and everything will be fine.

[Endless Emotion]

 LebanesePrincess, on 29 April 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

Or just go check out the brother's forums.....i heard they discuss everything from under the sun

Behind the scene in the brother's forum ---- looks much like this!  

[ImAli]

[hameedeh]

 Labayka Ya Hussein (a.s), on 29 April 2012 - 10:21 AM, said:

Salam sisters,
i am soon to get married alhumdulileh, he is the perfect man   
but as i have never been with someone of the opposite sex i am extemely nerveous... i even get scared to hold his hand! i dont want to ruin this amazing life becuase of my inhability to kiss someone..... help please

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[Shakir 30:21] And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.

He doesn't know how to kiss either, so you both will figure it out. InshaAllah
May Allah SWT bless you both as you step forward into the straight path together. ♥

[-Enlightened]

congratulations   insha'Allah all the best !!!

[25:74] And they say, "Our Lord, let our spouses and children be a source of joy for us, and keep us in the forefront of the righteous."

[40:8] "Our Lord, and admit them into the gardens of Eden that You promised for them and for the righteous among their parents, spouses, and children. You are the Almighty, Most Wise.

[fahimah18]

Congratulations, hope both you have a wonderful future life. Don't worry about kissing, all the stuff will come by itself as the other sisters mentioned.

[1472Maryam]

Salam alaikum,

Best wishes for the both of you.  As the other sisters have said, things will start to flow normally as you get to know each other.  The important thing is to keep lines of communication open so that each of you can find out what makes the other happy.

[_JuGNii]

 Maryaam, on 29 April 2012 - 10:40 AM, said:

Interesting first post.  Talk to married sisters, they are very helpful and check out you tube.

.





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_JuGNii

Edited by _JuGNii, 29 April 2012 - 06:13 PM.

[Inception]

Assalaam aleykom

Congratulations sister, inshaAllah the best future for you together and lots of babies



about being nervous...its ok, dont be nervous of being nervous..and if you awkward things becuz of that, let him know..better he knows that u r nervous than he thinks u r "weird"..

if you spill hot coffee on his shirt...tell him u r nervous

if you dont remember something he told u to do..tell him u r nervous

if you meet his family and u r too shy to talk and be ur social...tell them, dont let them think u dont like them..

just be ok with urself being nervous and I think he understands that..

cheers

[ImAli]

I hope the original poster with only 1 post is a sister and not one of the guys playing with us. I have been wondering this for a couple of days now.

[Gypsy]

ImAli,
Doesn't the font color speaks for itself?  

[ImAli]

 Gypsy, on 01 May 2012 - 08:21 AM, said:

ImAli,
Doesn't the font color speaks for itself?  

I guess....unless it is a crafty brother LOOOOOL

to original poster, sorry but forums creep my out sometimes and I get paranoid of other users with only a few posts

[La fata illa Ali]

sorry sorry i shouldnt be in here but someone needs to guide u women folk.

Not a single hadith mentioned so far just shows ur lack of development on SC...tsk tsk


to the OP, one hadith should clear up ur doubts:


"The best woman
among you is the one
who discards the armor of shyness
when she undresses
for her husband,
and puts on the armor of shyness
when she dresses up again."



Imam Muhammad al-Baqir

Edited by La fata illa Ali, 01 May 2012 - 12:34 PM.

[ImAli]

 La fata illa Ali, on 01 May 2012 - 12:34 PM, said:

sorry sorry i shouldnt be in here but someone needs to guide u women folk.

Not a single hadith mentioned so far just shows ur lack of development on SC...tsk tsk


to the OP, one hadith should clear up ur doubts:


"The best woman
among you is the one
who discards the armor of shyness
when she undresses
for her husband,
and puts on the armor of shyness
when she dresses up again."



Imam Muhammad al-Baqir

That is easier said than done for an inexperience young woman about to be married and alone with the opposite gender for the first time ever. Ahadith is great and all but you obviously don't understand the complex nature of a woman....it isn't so easy to turn shyness off just like that.

[Allahuakbar]

 ImAli, on 01 May 2012 - 08:19 AM, said:

I hope the original poster with only 1 post is a sister and not one of the guys playing with us. I have been wondering this for a couple of days now.

I think everyone handled the situation maturely, it doesn't matter.

[_jen_]

Wow this is a very unhelpful thread.

[Allahuakbar]

 _jen_, on 03 May 2012 - 02:55 PM, said:

Wow this is a very unhelpful thread.

Sometimes, there is little one can say... InshaAllah, the sister's husband will understand and not rush her.

[zameena]

You don't have to be scared. I was like you. Don't take advices from people who tell you to practice with males before marriage. You will learn once you start having emotional bond with your husband. Initially he will be doing all the work, you will just reciprocate involuntary. It will be a reflex action to something you feel good about. You are worrying about a very foolish thought. Possibly because you don't know. Once you experience you will laugh at yourself. My worry is don't get involved in sins before marriage, just because you are scared and want to prepare yourself. You don't need any preparation.