18 replies to this topic

[IFK]

Salam all,

So after many months of researching, I converted 3 years ago Alhumdulillah.

I was a university student at that time, and did not tell my parents. However, I started to dress very conservatively the summer after that, and then told them i wanted to study all the religions etc, and slowly by last year, they kind of already had a hint that I'm veryy interested in Islam, and started warning me that I should never convert. They told me I could believe whatever I wanted in my heard (they asked me to give them a full list of things that I believe in also -which i did, such as Day of Judgement, heaven and hell, angels, Prophets, etc etc.)
My parents are not religious, but originally born Hindu - only a lot into meditation, breathing, yoga etc. They don't believe in heaven and hell, and HATE HATE HATE the idea of organized religion. We live in the Middle East and nearly all my mums good friends are Muslims, so they know enough about them (though they only know the Sunni version, and hate it). So I have told my mum that the Shia version has a lot more spirituality and is closer to Sufism with the concept of irfan and stuff (she thinks sufism is the only  fairly decent version of Islam, so kind of had to get her pro-Shia neway, coz I know her hatred for Sunni Islam, and dont want to associate it with that- no offence meant to any Sunnis) She just feels its way too ritualistic, and they have funny ideas, and don't go within themselves, or that Islam doesn't have the concept of self-knowledge etc..

Anyway, the point is, I have completed my university, and Alhumdulillah also settled into a job. As per the culture here ofcourse, I still live with my parents, and my father is still the sponsor of his daughter. If he wants, he can send me to my homeland anytime (which would be the WORST THING EVER), or just do pretty much WHATEVER he wants with me, and noone can say a word to him.
Time has come that my 3rd birthday will come as a Muslim in the next few days, and I REALLY want to tell them. I've pretty much made up my mind, but others think I may not be able to do it. I've done enough fasting and praying secretly, and wearing hijab only when I leave the house etc..ofcourse I cannot begin with hijab soon, coz thats something they cannot stand (even their Muslim lady friends hate hijab and tell my mum that they think its too oppressive etc etc!!:S) So I'm surely not going to start that anytime soon in front of them, but I do want to tell them...
My younger brother is agnostic and lives abroad (hes studying abroad) - he has a completely "western" lifestyle with his drinks, parties, girls etc, and is at a very good, reputed uni..he also, like my parents, thinks all organized religion, and especially Islam is a crazy, organized religion which oppresses freedom..

My parents are open-minded, but for some reason I feel they aren't so cool about me being so conservative - and ofcourse, being a girl in a desi family, they just tend to be more careful and cautious with me, inspite of being very open-minded compared to most people. Their biggest fear is that I may want to marry a Muslim guy (even before, thats the biggest thing they always had a problem with)..theyve kind of indirectly told me that my belief is between me and God and in my heart, and as long as it remains that way...it doesn't matter...and also that all religions are great, but only take the good from them and make up your own unique belief system, or set of goods and bads..but Islam is a complete lifestyle on its own, not just a belief in the heart.
Also, they mainly have an issue that I shouldn't create concepts, coz that will remove the freedom from my mind...

I'm sure they will also ask me Why I converted. Unfortunately, I realy don't know how to answer something like that - I have sooo many reasons, that I cannot count each one and remember..its an accumulation of many years.

So please advise, how to deal with telling the parents..any advise is MOST welcome..

Much Appreciated
Please keep me in your duas. I don't think I have ever needed duas as much as I do right now. Oh and also, if anyone knows any duas to make my emaan stronger and make me more confident..or anything to recite/say/do before I tell them..coz sometimes I flip out, and at other times I feel I'll do it..lots of mixed emotions..

Wasalam..

[Fink]

''And mention in the Book (the Qur'an, the story of) Ibrahim. Verily! He was a man of truth, a Prophet. When he said to his father: "O my father! Why do you worship that which hears not, sees not and cannot avail you in anything O my father! Verily! There has come to me of knowledge that which came not unto you. So follow me. I will guide you to a straight path. O my father! Worship not Shaytan. Verily! Shaytan has been a rebel against the Most Beneficent (Allah). O my father! Verily! I fear lest a torment from the Most Beneficent (Allah) overtakes you, so that you become a companion of Shaytan (in the Hell-fire).'' He (the father) said: "Do you reject my gods, O Ibrahim If you stop not (this), I will indeed stone you. So get away from me safely before I punish you.'' Ibrahim said: "Peace be on you! I will ask forgiveness of my Lord for you. Verily! He is unto me, Ever Most Gracious. And I shall turn away from you and from those whom you invoke besides Allah. And I shall call on my Lord; and I hope that I shall not be unanswered in my invocation to my Lord.''


Congratulations sister

Edited by Fink, 25 April 2012 - 01:08 PM.

[Abu Hadi]

IFK, on 25 April 2012 - 12:54 PM, said:

Salam all,

So after many months of researching, I converted 3 years ago Alhumdulillah.

I was a university student at that time, and did not tell my parents. However, I started to dress very conservatively the summer after that, and then told them i wanted to study all the religions etc, and slowly by last year, they kind of already had a hint that I'm veryy interested in Islam, and started warning me that I should never convert. They told me I could believe whatever I wanted in my heard (they asked me to give them a full list of things that I believe in also -which i did, such as Day of Judgement, heaven and hell, angels, Prophets, etc etc.)
My parents are not religious, but originally born Hindu - only a lot into meditation, breathing, yoga etc. They don't believe in heaven and hell, and HATE HATE HATE the idea of organized religion. We live in the Middle East and nearly all my mums good friends are Muslims, so they know enough about them (though they only know the Sunni version, and hate it). So I have told my mum that the Shia version has a lot more spirituality and is closer to Sufism with the concept of irfan and stuff (she thinks sufism is the only  fairly decent version of Islam, so kind of had to get her pro-Shia neway, coz I know her hatred for Sunni Islam, and dont want to associate it with that- no offence meant to any Sunnis) She just feels its way too ritualistic, and they have funny ideas, and don't go within themselves, or that Islam doesn't have the concept of self-knowledge etc..

Anyway, the point is, I have completed my university, and Alhumdulillah also settled into a job. As per the culture here ofcourse, I still live with my parents, and my father is still the sponsor of his daughter. If he wants, he can send me to my homeland anytime (which would be the WORST THING EVER), or just do pretty much WHATEVER he wants with me, and noone can say a word to him.
Time has come that my 3rd birthday will come as a Muslim in the next few days, and I REALLY want to tell them. I've pretty much made up my mind, but others think I may not be able to do it. I've done enough fasting and praying secretly, and wearing hijab only when I leave the house etc..ofcourse I cannot begin with hijab soon, coz thats something they cannot stand (even their Muslim lady friends hate hijab and tell my mum that they think its too oppressive etc etc!!:S) So I'm surely not going to start that anytime soon in front of them, but I do want to tell them...
My younger brother is agnostic and lives abroad (hes studying abroad) - he has a completely "western" lifestyle with his drinks, parties, girls etc, and is at a very good, reputed uni..he also, like my parents, thinks all organized religion, and especially Islam is a crazy, organized religion which oppresses freedom..

My parents are open-minded, but for some reason I feel they aren't so cool about me being so conservative - and ofcourse, being a girl in a desi family, they just tend to be more careful and cautious with me, inspite of being very open-minded compared to most people. Their biggest fear is that I may want to marry a Muslim guy (even before, thats the biggest thing they always had a problem with)..theyve kind of indirectly told me that my belief is between me and God and in my heart, and as long as it remains that way...it doesn't matter...and also that all religions are great, but only take the good from them and make up your own unique belief system, or set of goods and bads..but Islam is a complete lifestyle on its own, not just a belief in the heart.
Also, they mainly have an issue that I shouldn't create concepts, coz that will remove the freedom from my mind...

I'm sure they will also ask me Why I converted. Unfortunately, I realy don't know how to answer something like that - I have sooo many reasons, that I cannot count each one and remember..its an accumulation of many years.

So please advise, how to deal with telling the parents..any advise is MOST welcome..

Much Appreciated
Please keep me in your duas. I don't think I have ever needed duas as much as I do right now. Oh and also, if anyone knows any duas to make my emaan stronger and make me more confident..or anything to recite/say/do before I tell them..coz sometimes I flip out, and at other times I feel I'll do it..lots of mixed emotions..

Wasalam..

Salam Alekum Sister,

I am a revert myself, though not from a Desi backgroud. I had to tell my father and grandparents, cousins, etc. and it wasn't easy.
The best way is to try to introduce them slowly to the idea. From what you have told me, it seems like one of the better /easier situations
as far a telling parents. Just make sure that you communicate to them that they are still your parents and that you love and respect them
and you thank them for raising you and giving you good values so that you could realilze the truth when you found it. Without their good upbringing
you may never have been able to recognize it. Then tell them that it is something you believe in firmly and you belive that your life should reflect your belief other wise you would be just a hypocrite with dead faith. Then see what they say. Always keep the door to dialogue open without compromising on your beliefs in any way. That is the happy path. Salam. If you need any further assistance, let me know.

Edited by Abu Hadi, 25 April 2012 - 02:08 PM.

[Shia_Debater]

^ The correct translation isn't father since Prophet Ibrahim's father wasn't an idolater, it was his uncle.

MashaAllah sister

Sorry I don't have much to add, I don't want to give any wrong information. As to what you can recite before speaking to your parents about your conversion if you go ahead and tell them;

Rabbish rahli sadri wa yas-sir li amri wahloul `uqdatan min-lisaani yafqahu qawli

O my Lord! expand me my breast; Ease my task for me; And remove the impediment from my speech, So they may understand what I say [Quran Chapter 20 Verses 25-28]

This is the dua Prophet Moses made (I think when he was going to challenge or speak to firaun (la))

Edited by Shia_Debater, 25 April 2012 - 02:07 PM.

[Aly ReZa]

needs courage

Wish u a luck mate

[md. ammar ali]

IFK, on 25 April 2012 - 12:54 PM, said:

Salam all,

So after many months of researching, I converted 3 years ago Alhumdulillah.

I was a university student at that time, and did not tell my parents. However, I started to dress very conservatively the summer after that, and then told them i wanted to study all the religions etc, and slowly by last year, they kind of already had a hint that I'm veryy interested in Islam, and started warning me that I should never convert. They told me I could believe whatever I wanted in my heard (they asked me to give them a full list of things that I believe in also -which i did, such as Day of Judgement, heaven and hell, angels, Prophets, etc etc.)
My parents are not religious, but originally born Hindu - only a lot into meditation, breathing, yoga etc. They don't believe in heaven and hell, and HATE HATE HATE the idea of organized religion. We live in the Middle East and nearly all my mums good friends are Muslims, so they know enough about them (though they only know the Sunni version, and hate it). So I have told my mum that the Shia version has a lot more spirituality and is closer to Sufism with the concept of irfan and stuff (she thinks sufism is the only  fairly decent version of Islam, so kind of had to get her pro-Shia neway, coz I know her hatred for Sunni Islam, and dont want to associate it with that- no offence meant to any Sunnis) She just feels its way too ritualistic, and they have funny ideas, and don't go within themselves, or that Islam doesn't have the concept of self-knowledge etc..

Anyway, the point is, I have completed my university, and Alhumdulillah also settled into a job. As per the culture here ofcourse, I still live with my parents, and my father is still the sponsor of his daughter. If he wants, he can send me to my homeland anytime (which would be the WORST THING EVER), or just do pretty much WHATEVER he wants with me, and noone can say a word to him.
Time has come that my 3rd birthday will come as a Muslim in the next few days, and I REALLY want to tell them. I've pretty much made up my mind, but others think I may not be able to do it. I've done enough fasting and praying secretly, and wearing hijab only when I leave the house etc..ofcourse I cannot begin with hijab soon, coz thats something they cannot stand (even their Muslim lady friends hate hijab and tell my mum that they think its too oppressive etc etc!!:S) So I'm surely not going to start that anytime soon in front of them, but I do want to tell them...
My younger brother is agnostic and lives abroad (hes studying abroad) - he has a completely "western" lifestyle with his drinks, parties, girls etc, and is at a very good, reputed uni..he also, like my parents, thinks all organized religion, and especially Islam is a crazy, organized religion which oppresses freedom..

My parents are open-minded, but for some reason I feel they aren't so cool about me being so conservative - and ofcourse, being a girl in a desi family, they just tend to be more careful and cautious with me, inspite of being very open-minded compared to most people. Their biggest fear is that I may want to marry a Muslim guy (even before, thats the biggest thing they always had a problem with)..theyve kind of indirectly told me that my belief is between me and God and in my heart, and as long as it remains that way...it doesn't matter...and also that all religions are great, but only take the good from them and make up your own unique belief system, or set of goods and bads..but Islam is a complete lifestyle on its own, not just a belief in the heart.
Also, they mainly have an issue that I shouldn't create concepts, coz that will remove the freedom from my mind...

I'm sure they will also ask me Why I converted. Unfortunately, I realy don't know how to answer something like that - I have sooo many reasons, that I cannot count each one and remember..its an accumulation of many years.

So please advise, how to deal with telling the parents..any advise is MOST welcome..

Much Appreciated
Please keep me in your duas. I don't think I have ever needed duas as much as I do right now. Oh and also, if anyone knows any duas to make my emaan stronger and make me more confident..or anything to recite/say/do before I tell them..coz sometimes I flip out, and at other times I feel I'll do it..lots of mixed emotions..

Wasalam..

mashaAllah sister


i also converted to shia islam from hinduism

i dont know how to do it .....


i also have to face that situation in near future

but atleast your parents know that you are inclined towards islam and they have some exposure to islam


what i thought ...just explain them , maintain relations as it is , love them even more ........may be after observing me(the lifestyle)  they too want to convert to islam inshaAllah


it is easier said than done


anyways all the very best ........have strong firm faith in Allah

think this is also a test of Allah swt


everything will be fine inshaAllah

[IFK]

Salam,

Thankyou all for the answers


Rabbish rahli sadri wa yas-sir li amri wahloul `uqdatan min-lisaani yafqahu qawli

O my Lord! expand me my breast; Ease my task for me; And remove the impediment from my speech, So they may understand what I say [Quran Chapter 20 Verses 25-28]

Thankyou for the dua:)

Brother Varun, Congratulations and MashaAllah to you too! Its nice to see someone in a similar situation - it seems very rare that people convert from Hinduism for some reason. Your idea sounds great, and inshaAllah it'll work for you. In my case, I was never rebellious or never went out and did what other teenagers did (Alhumdulillah), but thats not really a good thing for my parents..They are happy I never did anything silly, but they think I'm way too conservative as a person. Also, if I go out, I'm too particular that the dessert doesn't have alcohol, and I dress too covered up etc., so in my case, the changes in my lifestyle have kind of back-fired at me - lol. Though I do try to be a better daughter sometimes, and spend time with them etc (but sometimes, honestly, its just difficult, coz we're so different)
Being a guy however, I think it should be slightly easier for you. Btw, what do you do about your food?Since we can't eat food cooked by Hindus, my mum is VERY hurt that I don't eat something even if she cooks it being very careful (I've told them I won't eat what the houseboy makes due to hygiene reasons, so she agrees, but she takes a lot more care of washing her hands many times etc before cooking for me) I have had to eat her food when I'm unwell, or when she feels really bad. But I know its a continuous thing, and it hurts her more than anything in the world - i don't know what to tell her. If she gets to know that its due to Islam, she'll hate the religion alot more.

Everyone, thankyou all for your confidence, and please continue giving more advise:) I have a few more days to get through, and I need to learn as much as possible within these days to be able to get the confidence to answer their deep, philosophical, irfan-related questions..and more..lol

Thankyou,
Wasalam

[md. ammar ali]

IFK, on 27 April 2012 - 02:15 AM, said:

Salam,

Thankyou all for the answers


Rabbish rahli sadri wa yas-sir li amri wahloul `uqdatan min-lisaani yafqahu qawli

O my Lord! expand me my breast; Ease my task for me; And remove the impediment from my speech, So they may understand what I say [Quran Chapter 20 Verses 25-28]

Thankyou for the dua:)

Brother Varun, Congratulations and MashaAllah to you too! Its nice to see someone in a similar situation - it seems very rare that people convert from Hinduism for some reason. Your idea sounds great, and inshaAllah it'll work for you. In my case, I was never rebellious or never went out and did what other teenagers did (Alhumdulillah), but thats not really a good thing for my parents..They are happy I never did anything silly, but they think I'm way too conservative as a person. Also, if I go out, I'm too particular that the dessert doesn't have alcohol, and I dress too covered up etc., so in my case, the changes in my lifestyle have kind of back-fired at me - lol. Though I do try to be a better daughter sometimes, and spend time with them etc (but sometimes, honestly, its just difficult, coz we're so different)
Being a guy however, I think it should be slightly easier for you. Btw, what do you do about your food?Since we can't eat food cooked by Hindus, my mum is VERY hurt that I don't eat something even if she cooks it being very careful (I've told them I won't eat what the houseboy makes due to hygiene reasons, so she agrees, but she takes a lot more care of washing her hands many times etc before cooking for me) I have had to eat her food when I'm unwell, or when she feels really bad. But I know its a continuous thing, and it hurts her more than anything in the world - i don't know what to tell her. If she gets to know that its due to Islam, she'll hate the religion alot more.

Everyone, thankyou all for your confidence, and please continue giving more advise:) I have a few more days to get through, and I need to learn as much as possible within these days to be able to get the confidence to answer their deep, philosophical, irfan-related questions..and more..lol

Thankyou,
Wasalam

i dont know that

i eat the food prepared by my mother

but i say bismillah before eating (is that sufficient ?)

i cant help it

but thats what all i can do for now

[IFK]

I'd love it if someone can give an answer to the above.

I've contacted Ayatollah Sistani's office, personally spoken to his representative, asked lots of aalimas etc etc etc...and its all the same answer: No its not allowed. Some give a little flexibility that you can eat only if forced, and only eat as much as required (not to overeat or enjoyyy eating the food) and it shouldnt ruin the mother-child relationship, because cutting relationships/ ties is way worse in Islam..
But if it can be avoided, it surely should, because I have heard that it invalidates 40 days of namaz to eat the food of non-Ahlul kitaab.
So I only do it if she really insists or she'll feel bad about it, or if I'm unwell (with lots of Bismillahs ofcourse, and praying that its ok and trusting that Allah swt understands the situation) otherwise I try to cook saying that I want to learn and also I don't want anyone else to touch my food for hygiene reasons..

If anyone else can shed light on the above matter, would be greatly appreciated, because I'm struggling with it quite a bit..and its way worse if I go to India, coz can't eat in most of the Hindu restaurants there either..I can avoid Indian restrants here, but not there..

Thanks,
Wasalam

Edited by IFK, 27 April 2012 - 04:30 AM.

[IFK]

Salam..
Is there any way i can delete all my threads? thx
atleast these ones which are very obvious...

tx

[md. ammar ali]

IFK, on 27 April 2012 - 04:29 AM, said:

I'd love it if someone can give an answer to the above.

I've contacted Ayatollah Sistani's office, personally spoken to his representative, asked lots of aalimas etc etc etc...and its all the same answer: No its not allowed. Some give a little flexibility that you can eat only if forced, and only eat as much as required (not to overeat or enjoyyy eating the food) and it shouldnt ruin the mother-child relationship, because cutting relationships/ ties is way worse in Islam..
But if it can be avoided, it surely should, because I have heard that it invalidates 40 days of namaz to eat the food of non-Ahlul kitaab.
So I only do it if she really insists or she'll feel bad about it, or if I'm unwell (with lots of Bismillahs ofcourse, and praying that its ok and trusting that Allah swt understands the situation) otherwise I try to cook saying that I want to learn and also I don't want anyone else to touch my food for hygiene reasons..

If anyone else can shed light on the above matter, would be greatly appreciated, because I'm struggling with it quite a bit..and its way worse if I go to India, coz can't eat in most of the Hindu restaurants there either..I can avoid Indian restrants here, but not there..

Thanks,
Wasalam

i cant cook - so i eat the food prepared by my mother



dont worry there are a lot of muslim restaurants out there which serve halal food

IFK, on 30 April 2012 - 12:54 AM, said:

Salam..
Is there any way i can delete all my threads? thx
atleast these ones which are very obvious...

tx

why??

[Aly ReZa]

IFK, on 30 April 2012 - 12:54 AM, said:

Salam..
Is there any way i can delete all my threads? thx
atleast these ones which are very obvious...

tx

admins

[zulfeeqar]

very nice, this thing i did not see on any nasibi forum. but understanding muslims like this sister come and proclaim their belief in shia islam. very inspiring indeed.

IFK, on 25 April 2012 - 12:54 PM, said:

Salam all,

So after many months of researching, I converted 3 years ago Alhumdulillah.

I was a university student at that time, and did not tell my parents. However, I started to dress very conservatively the summer after that, and then told them i wanted to study all the religions etc, and slowly by last year, they kind of already had a hint that I'm veryy interested in Islam, and started warning me that I should never convert. They told me I could believe whatever I wanted in my heard (they asked me to give them a full list of things that I believe in also -which i did, such as Day of Judgement, heaven and hell, angels, Prophets, etc etc.)
My parents are not religious, but originally born Hindu - only a lot into meditation, breathing, yoga etc. They don't believe in heaven and hell, and HATE HATE HATE the idea of organized religion. We live in the Middle East and nearly all my mums good friends are Muslims, so they know enough about them (though they only know the Sunni version, and hate it). So I have told my mum that the Shia version has a lot more spirituality and is closer to Sufism with the concept of irfan and stuff (she thinks sufism is the only  fairly decent version of Islam, so kind of had to get her pro-Shia neway, coz I know her hatred for Sunni Islam, and dont want to associate it with that- no offence meant to any Sunnis) She just feels its way too ritualistic, and they have funny ideas, and don't go within themselves, or that Islam doesn't have the concept of self-knowledge etc..

Anyway, the point is, I have completed my university, and Alhumdulillah also settled into a job. As per the culture here ofcourse, I still live with my parents, and my father is still the sponsor of his daughter. If he wants, he can send me to my homeland anytime (which would be the WORST THING EVER), or just do pretty much WHATEVER he wants with me, and noone can say a word to him.
Time has come that my 3rd birthday will come as a Muslim in the next few days, and I REALLY want to tell them. I've pretty much made up my mind, but others think I may not be able to do it. I've done enough fasting and praying secretly, and wearing hijab only when I leave the house etc..ofcourse I cannot begin with hijab soon, coz thats something they cannot stand (even their Muslim lady friends hate hijab and tell my mum that they think its too oppressive etc etc!!:S) So I'm surely not going to start that anytime soon in front of them, but I do want to tell them...
My younger brother is agnostic and lives abroad (hes studying abroad) - he has a completely "western" lifestyle with his drinks, parties, girls etc, and is at a very good, reputed uni..he also, like my parents, thinks all organized religion, and especially Islam is a crazy, organized religion which oppresses freedom..

My parents are open-minded, but for some reason I feel they aren't so cool about me being so conservative - and ofcourse, being a girl in a desi family, they just tend to be more careful and cautious with me, inspite of being very open-minded compared to most people. Their biggest fear is that I may want to marry a Muslim guy (even before, thats the biggest thing they always had a problem with)..theyve kind of indirectly told me that my belief is between me and God and in my heart, and as long as it remains that way...it doesn't matter...and also that all religions are great, but only take the good from them and make up your own unique belief system, or set of goods and bads..but Islam is a complete lifestyle on its own, not just a belief in the heart.
Also, they mainly have an issue that I shouldn't create concepts, coz that will remove the freedom from my mind...

I'm sure they will also ask me Why I converted. Unfortunately, I realy don't know how to answer something like that - I have sooo many reasons, that I cannot count each one and remember..its an accumulation of many years.

So please advise, how to deal with telling the parents..any advise is MOST welcome..

Much Appreciated
Please keep me in your duas. I don't think I have ever needed duas as much as I do right now. Oh and also, if anyone knows any duas to make my emaan stronger and make me more confident..or anything to recite/say/do before I tell them..coz sometimes I flip out, and at other times I feel I'll do it..lots of mixed emotions..

Wasalam..

sister,

what my granfather told me that in every difficulty i recite. i have full belief in this dua, and it helps me a lot in difficult times.

Ya hai o Ya quyum astageeso barhmateka Ya Arhamar Rahmeen.

Rough translation (O who is omnipotent and powerful, i cry for help and assistance through your mercifulness, who is most merciful)

Note:- I dont know about shiite background of this dua, but i see some hadith in sunni literature that this similar dua was taught to Fatima as by Rasullalah saw.

IFK, on 27 April 2012 - 04:29 AM, said:

I'd love it if someone can give an answer to the above.

I've contacted Ayatollah Sistani's office, personally spoken to his representative, asked lots of aalimas etc etc etc...and its all the same answer: No its not allowed. Some give a little flexibility that you can eat only if forced, and only eat as much as required (not to overeat or enjoyyy eating the food) and it shouldnt ruin the mother-child relationship, because cutting relationships/ ties is way worse in Islam..
But if it can be avoided, it surely should, because I have heard that it invalidates 40 days of namaz to eat the food of non-Ahlul kitaab.
So I only do it if she really insists or she'll feel bad about it, or if I'm unwell (with lots of Bismillahs ofcourse, and praying that its ok and trusting that Allah swt understands the situation) otherwise I try to cook saying that I want to learn and also I don't want anyone else to touch my food for hygiene reasons..

If anyone else can shed light on the above matter, would be greatly appreciated, because I'm struggling with it quite a bit..and its way worse if I go to India, coz can't eat in most of the Hindu restaurants there either..I can avoid Indian restrants here, but not there..

Thanks,
Wasalam

IFK, on 27 April 2012 - 04:29 AM, said:

I'd love it if someone can give an answer to the above.

I've contacted Ayatollah Sistani's office, personally spoken to his representative, asked lots of aalimas etc etc etc...and its all the same answer: No its not allowed. Some give a little flexibility that you can eat only if forced, and only eat as much as required (not to overeat or enjoyyy eating the food) and it shouldnt ruin the mother-child relationship, because cutting relationships/ ties is way worse in Islam..
But if it can be avoided, it surely should, because I have heard that it invalidates 40 days of namaz to eat the food of non-Ahlul kitaab.
So I only do it if she really insists or she'll feel bad about it, or if I'm unwell (with lots of Bismillahs ofcourse, and praying that its ok and trusting that Allah swt understands the situation) otherwise I try to cook saying that I want to learn and also I don't want anyone else to touch my food for hygiene reasons..

If anyone else can shed light on the above matter, would be greatly appreciated, because I'm struggling with it quite a bit..and its way worse if I go to India, coz can't eat in most of the Hindu restaurants there either..I can avoid Indian restrants here, but not there..

Thanks,
Wasalam

i think in Quran we have verses which deal with exceptions. cant remember exactly and will not go in to accurate tafseer of those, but just believe that Islam is felxible to accomodate your situation.

Edited by zulfeeqar, 30 April 2012 - 02:27 AM.

[Maryammm]

Salam, regarding food, I believe I have seen a fatwa from sayed sistani(ha) that says that you can eat the food of non-ahlul kitab if you don't see them touch it with bare skin or wet hands, especially in your circumstances of it being family. You could also insist on cooking for the whole family, at least a few times a week, just to show that you are trying to be a loving and helpful daughter inshallah, try to make it out that way rather then letting them know about the najasah thing(difficult to explain adiquetly, although I do believe that there are some hindus who have a similar belief about muslims) Also, some mujtahids have different rulings about non-ahlul kitab made food being haram and najis, they don't believe in the physical najasah of human beings and interpret the Qur'anic verses on this issue to mean that mushrikeen and non-ahlul kitab are spiritually impure, not physically. I tend to agree with this view, but I am still searching on this, I just don't understand why trinity believing christians are tahir, and hindus, buddists, sikhs etc are not, when they are both guilty of shirk. The qur'an only mentions jews, christians, sabians and some say zoroastrians as ahlul kitab, clearly prophets and books were sent down to the whole world and not just the middle east where these religions cam down too. However the Qur'an wouldn't list all the books, prophets etc because it would take too long, so because of this, I believe that there are other 'religions' that can be included in Ahlul kitab, but I guess we need to see if the Ahlul bayt(as) elaborate on this in hadith more, giving tafseer on the verses about ahlul kitab and who that includes. I also hear the excuse that non ahlul kitab don't do ghusl or other practical and spiritual acts for cleanliness, but then I argue that neither do most christians, and only orthodox jews do and even then they don't follow all the same rules that we do about it, so this can't be the reason. Neither can shirk be the reason, many christians do shirk by believing that Jesus(as) is god, is the son of god, is part of the trinity etc, some jews believe that god has a human form in the realm outside this world(similar to some wahabis) and some zoroastrians believe in two gods, or one god split into two...

In any case, I wish you all the best with your struggles and as a revert I really understand where you are coming from(though I am not of a hindu background, but I do have some hindus in my extended family) I hope you do find the courage to have a good chat with them, I suggest preparing yourself for any questions that may come up inshallah and would suggest reading du3a makarim al akhlaq to help you be strong and know how to deal with it in the best of ways. With regards to you worrying that your father may send you back to his country of origin due to the parental laws where you live, do you know what the parental laws of your father's country of origin are? if they are more lenient and would give you more choice and freedom of faith? Hopefully inshallah it wont come to that, but I do suggest that if you can, don't live with them for too long, I had to live with my parents for 10 years of my muslim life, and only recently left that through marriage, it's hard enough to develop and follow Islam if you live in your own muslim home, let alone your parents non muslim home, and some distance can make things easier. In my experience, reverts who became muslim in adulthood, whilst no longer living at home with family who aren't muslim, found their relationship with their parents was much better then people like me that had to live in close quaters with my non muslim family, therefore having to explain my every move as a muslim. I hope that you have a much more positive experience then me inshallah, and I will pray for you inshallah.
Salams and du3as

[rjannati]

Salam alaykum Sister,

  I am also a convert from Hinduism to Shia Islam.  I converted to Islam 21 years ago at the age of 14.  It seems as though we have been having a lot of queries lately regarding new converts/reverts from Hinduism.  I felt like I was the only hindu who accepted islam back when i was younger and its good to see I am not the only one.  Makes me feel a little less crazy.   Anyway, with respect to food, I asked my Marja-e-Taqleed about my situation and I got a specific response that applies here.  I really don't want to post it here since it may cause confusion with the general ruling.  However please feel free to contact me and I can let you know of the response I got from my Marja.

  I also see that there are a few hindu converts/reverts here.  Not to sound like a separatist, but I think it would be a good idea if we keep in touch with each other to help us through issues like these, marriage, tabligh and dawah to hindus, etc.  I could have used the support of others when I recently accepted islam.

[Hassan5785]

Salam alaikum, I'm a revert to Shi'a Islam from Catholicism from a Thai/Mongolian background. I was adopted in the West by an American family. Telling my family was hard for me, I didn't tell them right away the moment I became Muslim. It's best to wait till you know what you are talking about. When it came  to telling my family about it was the hardest thing ever for me, the relationship I had with them changed forever, being called names and some sort.

We were not very religious at first and I was never for religion at first but when I was first looking at Islam and became a Muslim it all changed.

[Hassan5785]

It might not be as bad as some may put it or else I would have been kicked out of the house. I try to explain Islam to my mom anytime I get a chance to or when it feels right. Telling her how unique that Islam is from any other religion, like my old religion which is Roman Catholicism. If I can, I will give her books and some sites to look at, or maybe some video lectures from excellent scholars.

[Koshaan]

Uff, you guys are ah-mazing, masha'Allah. May your faith grow stronger than even you dream, and mine too, ameen:) I can only imagine how tough it must be, trying to avoid food cooked by your mom without hurting her. I hope you find an easy way around it. Not that my opinion matters, but as Maryamm said, I can't understand how people outside those of the Book are different from those of it, and even us Muslims. Spiritually, ok, but this seems plain wrong otherwise. How can people hope to spread the word of Islam amongst other faiths, with such strict and seemingly prejudiced practices? People like several here, who live with non-Muslim families, and don't want to hurt them, let alone sever ties, yet follow their Deen? Best of luck to you all, from the bottom of my heart

[Hassan5785]

We can't spread the faith through any type of prejudices in any way shape or form. It won't get us anywhere religiously or anything. We're supposed to be remaining in contact with our non-Muslim families regardless.