23 replies to this topic

[Shiashiashia!]

Salamu3alaykum
This is a poem I have written I hope you like like, I'm open to any critismsm I'd appreciate your feedback (just be nice )

My tears fall from my eyes into an ocean full of more
Tears for my beloved master that died
Died is and understatement !
If they herd the way he was killed they would be in amazement 
Of how cruel a person could be 
To the one that was dear to me
But not just me many others
Many more father, brothers and mothers

They murder him
They slaughtered him 
They thought that they had defeated him 
They soon came to know his memory did not die 
It was proven to the world that Hussain was the truth and they were a lie !

Hussain may have died but him message survived 
After thousands of years his name is still revived 
As the one that put Allah (swt) desires above his own
He is hussain he is the truth he is a lantern for all the youth 

At the time of his death he was alone 
He called out "Is there a helper who would help me?"
There was no answer to his precious call 
But now his followers have GROWN 
We are here to answer your call oh Hussain! 
We are at your service oh my master! 
We shout at the top of our voices we are at your service ya hussain!!

We now  wait patiently for your grandson al Mahdi to come and take revenge for what happened on those lonely desert plains

SALAWAT! Wasalam

[Hamzi]

its very good!

[Hamzi]

Salam have yu written more poems?


WA Salam

[Shia_Debater]

MashaAllah it was good

[Shiashiashia!]

Shia_Debater, on 02 May 2012 - 06:14 PM, said:

MashaAllah it was good

Thank u

Hamzi, on 02 May 2012 - 06:35 AM, said:

Salam have yu written more poems?


WA Salam

Yeh I have I've got heaps! More but sorry not sharing anymore poems ...
Wasalam

Edited by Shiashiashia!, 02 May 2012 - 07:10 PM.

[Allahuakbar]

Good poem MashaAllah, emotionally appealing indeed. Is English your dominant language?

Shiashiashia!, on 02 May 2012 - 07:10 PM, said:

Thank u





Yeh I have I've got heaps! More but sorry not sharing anymore poems ...
Wasalam

Someone's getting possessive of his work

[Shiashiashia!]

Allahuakbar, on 02 May 2012 - 09:09 PM, said:

Good poem MashaAllah, emotionally appealing indeed. Is English your dominant language?


Someone's getting possessive of his work

Thanx, yeh it is why does it sound like its not lol

Nah not possessive lol it's a loooooong story

[Hamzi]

Shiashiashia!, on 02 May 2012 - 07:10 PM, said:

Thank u





Yeh I have I've got heaps! More but sorry not sharing anymore poems ...
Wasalam

and why not

[Shiashiashia!]

Hamzi, on 02 May 2012 - 09:21 PM, said:

and why not

I was only sharing my poetry because people didn't know who I am now they do so I'm not sharing anymore.

Edited by Shiashiashia!, 02 May 2012 - 09:24 PM.

[Allahuakbar]

Shiashiashia!, on 02 May 2012 - 09:14 PM, said:

Thanx, yeh it is why does it sound like its not lol

Nah not possessive lol it's a loooooong story

I hope you reconsider, unless you plan on publishing your poems.

Not at all, you have a certain style, I think. Maybe it's an age issue. But, I am not making negative comments about your skills by no means.

[Shiashiashia!]

Allahuakbar, on 02 May 2012 - 09:24 PM, said:

I hope you reconsider, unless you plan on publishing your poems.

Not at all, you have a certain style, I think. Maybe it's an age issue. But, I am not making negative comments about your skills by no means.

I know what u mean I'm very basic, I'm still a beginner the more poems I write the stinger the language comes off, I get better as I go


No lol not publishing I'm no where near as good for that haha

[Hamzi]

Shiashiashia!, on 02 May 2012 - 09:22 PM, said:

I was only sharing my poetry because people didn't know who I am now they do so I'm not sharing anymore.

so finally people knew ha

but there very good poems and u should post them

[Shiashiashia!]

Hamzi, on 02 May 2012 - 09:29 PM, said:

so finally people knew ha

but there very good poems and u should post them

Yeh I wouldn't  have posted any if I knew "people" knew because I had already told "people" I didn't want anyone to see my poems and know theyre mine but anyyyyyyway what ever

Thanx but there rest r just going to have to stay hidden unfortunately

[Allahuakbar]

Shiashiashia!, on 02 May 2012 - 09:22 PM, said:

I was only sharing my poetry because people didn't know who I am now they do so I'm not sharing anymore.

That's a creative way of introducing yourself!

Shiashiashia!, on 02 May 2012 - 09:27 PM, said:

I know what u mean I'm very basic, I'm still a beginner the more poems I write the stinger the language comes off, I get better as I go

No lol not publishing I'm no where near as good for that haha

It would be too harsh to state that plainly. But of course, practice makes perfect.

MashaAllah, why wouldn't you publish? You have potential and you let your heart speak.

[Shiashiashia!]

Allahuakbar, on 02 May 2012 - 09:49 PM, said:

That's a creative way of introducing yourself!



It would be too harsh to state that plainly. But of course, practice makes perfect.

MashaAllah, why wouldn't you publish? You have potential and you let your heart speak.

It's all good

Inshallah I'll get better then start thinking of making the public let alone publishing them lol

[Allahuakbar]

Shiashiashia!, on 02 May 2012 - 09:58 PM, said:

It's all good

Inshallah I'll get better then start thinking of making the public let alone publishing them lol

You're already good MashaAllah. I look forward to reading more of your poetry, InshaAllah!

[Shiashiashia!]

Allahuakbar, on 02 May 2012 - 10:20 PM, said:

You're already good MashaAllah. I look forward to reading more of your poetry, InshaAllah!

Thank u very much, inshallah

[Hamzi]

yea we all look forward to seeing them!

[Shiashiashia!]

Hamzi, on 02 May 2012 - 10:30 PM, said:

yea we all look forward to seeing them!

Don't get ur hopes up.

[Hamzi]

Shiashiashia!, on 02 May 2012 - 10:33 PM, said:

Don't get ur hopes up.

thats not very nice to say

[Shiashiashia!]

Hamzi, on 02 May 2012 - 10:41 PM, said:

thats not very nice to say

Im just saying don't expect any more
There's nothing wrong with saying that

Anyway wasalam

[Aly ReZa]

jazakallah

[pinkyaliya]

Labayk ya Hussain

[Karbla2eeAlhwa]

Dear poet
i like your poem

do you mind if i added it in the library of imam hussain AS website?

http://imamhussain-lib.com/en/