97 replies to this topic

[Naz_]

I felt like you did and thats what motivated me to wear it, Alhamdulilah.
I was dressing modestly and following the laws of Islam but I knew by wearing an abaya I'd feel more comfortable and feel like my hijab was complete. Although a lot of people wear abaya's here I was still kind of hesitant to start wearing it but Alhamdulilah, I ignored that feeling and started wearing it!

Just cos no one wears it where you live, doesn't mean you can't/shouldn't. Maybe there's many girls that want to start wearing it too but are hesitant for the same reason as you. People might find it a little weird at first but once you tell them why you're wearing it then they'll be fine.
Like another member said, you can wear cardigans, bags, etc (accessorise)

Anyways, buy it online and start wearing it! Trust me, you feel 10000x better wearing it!
Good luck!

[ImAli]

I am thinking about wearing chador, but it is a big decision. I feel like if I start wearing it there is it no going back.....so I'm not rushing into it.

Edited by ImAli, 23 March 2012 - 01:07 PM.

[muslimah1]

ImAli, on 23 March 2012 - 12:27 PM, said:

I am thinking about wearing chador, but it is a big decision. I feel like if I start wearing it there is it no going back.....so I'm not rushing into it.

Inshallah u can start wearing it soon

You can maybe wear it to certain places first like when I started I only wore it to the mosk and Islamic gatherings now I wear it all the time but at the start it's better to start slowly, many many girls from my community wear it like to Islamic things and to work or shopping wear normal abayas, it's not something that you have to stuck to really you can wear it as u please lol

[ImAli]

muslimah1, on 23 March 2012 - 01:32 PM, said:

Inshallah u can start wearing it soon

You can maybe wear it to certain places first like when I started I only wore it to the mosk and Islamic gatherings now I wear it all the time but at the start it's better to start slowly, many many girls from my community wear it like to Islamic things and to work or shopping wear normal abayas, it's not something that you have to stuck to really you can wear it as u please lol

Everyone I know acts like this OMG OMG if you wear chador then remove it...
Some of them even act like you removed hijab completely. I don't see what the big difference would be if I wore chador because I already wear black abaya and black head scarf all of the time....but for some reason I am still having a difficult time with my decision.

[-Enlightened]

mashaAllah ..the sisters here are wearing a very modest hijab.

i wish i could wear a modest hijab too .

[muslimah1]

ImAli, on 23 March 2012 - 01:35 PM, said:

Everyone I know acts like this OMG OMG if you wear chador then remove it...
Some of them even act like you removed hijab completely. I don't see what the big difference would be if I wore chador because I already wear black abaya and black head scarf all of the time....but for some reason I am still having a difficult time with my decision.

What do u mean by the first part of ur comment?

It's takes time but some times u shouldn't really think to to much just do it and Allah swt will help with everything after

[ImAli]

muslimah1, on 23 March 2012 - 01:58 PM, said:

What do u mean by the first part of ur comment?

Those in my family and my husband think if you wear chador you have to always wear it...not sometimes on and sometimes off. So if I tried to wear it only occasionally they would say something and behave in the same way as if I was completely removing everything.

I have a difficult time with migraines and tension headaches too....and some sisters who wear it told me this can sometimes irritate the headache problem.

Edited by ImAli, 23 March 2012 - 02:03 PM.

[muslimah1]

Well yeh when you wear it for a long period of time it maybe better to wear it all the time but at he start when ur on,y beginning I think there's no problem with here and there,


Yeh people said that it would cuase head aches and that to me it's does it just depends on the material if you buy a heavy material, yes you will get head aches  but if u buy the good light material ur fine nothing will happen lol

[ireallywannaknow]

I think this type of chador (kind of like a cape) is sooo pretty (is it considered a chador?). I'd never known about this style of hijab before (I thought chadors were closed in the front and basically like an overhead abaya) until a couple of months ago these two Iraqi woman came over wearing something like this with pretty but simple hijabs underneath the chador and simple black abayas with minimal detailing. I was mesmerized by how beautiful they looked. In an ideal world I would wear my hijab this way, but I don't know if it would look right on me. Plus I don't even know where to get this type of stuff.

[ImAli]

tazaabha, on 23 March 2012 - 04:38 PM, said:

I think this type of chador (kind of like a cape) is sooo pretty (is it considered a chador?). I'd never known about this style of hijab before (I thought chadors were closed in the front and basically like an overhead abaya) until a couple of months ago these two Iraqi woman came over wearing something like this with pretty but simple hijabs underneath the chador and simple black abayas with minimal detailing. I was mesmerized by how beautiful they looked. In an ideal world I would wear my hijab this way, but I don't know if it would look right on me. Plus I don't even know where to get this type of stuff.

Yes this is the style I like...I don't like the overhead abaya with arms.

[-Enlightened]

tazaabha, on 23 March 2012 - 04:38 PM, said:

I think this type of chador (kind of like a cape) is sooo pretty (is it considered a chador?). I'd never known about this style of hijab before (I thought chadors were closed in the front and basically like an overhead abaya) until a couple of months ago these two Iraqi woman came over wearing something like this with pretty but simple hijabs underneath the chador and simple black abayas with minimal detailing. I was mesmerized by how beautiful they looked. In an ideal world I would wear my hijab this way, but I don't know if it would look right on me. Plus I don't even know where to get this type of stuff.

wow ! subhanAllah

i love it . this is the same hijab as lady mariam

i want it ! anyone knows where i can buy it from ?

I'll even wear it in school !

[ImAli]

Same style on a real person

Edited by ImAli, 23 March 2012 - 05:30 PM.

[jannahismygoal]

^ beautiful.

Guys, if anyone picks on you...just continue walking and then turn around and to this:

[Allahuakbar]

He-Man, on 22 March 2012 - 08:00 PM, said:

I started wearing abaya exclusively at the age of 15 and stopped at 19ish, which was the year I wore it off and on depending on circumstances. I guess 18 was the year I stopped wear it exclusively.

With internships, job opportunities, and school functions it became difficult to remain fully immersed in these activities while observing the abaya correctly. You could make the argument that observing the abaya is more important than these things collectively, but i think this can be overrode depending on whether or not you believe it is possible to remain modest without it. From my understanding of Islamic jurisprudence it is also very much permissible to not wear abaya provided the shape of your body is covered, etc.. but there is wiggle/interpretation room here in terms of its scope.

Now you stated that you were sure of this, so God bless and best of luck. I know a girl who wears abaya but always accessorized it quite nicely with cardigans, matching hijabs, bags, etc. She doesn't look like a "black monster" but she doesn't really involve herself in any extra curricular activities and she doesn't intend on building a career for herself after marriage.

I am sure there are very strong woman who force people to take them seriously in the fields of medicine, law etc who wear abayas exclusively. I commend them on being stronger than I am in that sense. I am sure you have what it takes to do wonderful things while overcoming these very real obstacles and I am really impressed with your consciousness. If you are convinced and remain convinced that what you are doing is critical to your spiritual and social well being than I have no doubt that you will be able to deal with obstacles gracefully.

I feel so saddened when I meet or hear about Muslimahs who choose to change their manner of dress after observing proper Islamic attire. While I certainly do not agree with embellished and eye attractive abays/jilbabs, I strongly believe that it is more than possible to wear jilbab/abaya while observing and participating in on and off campus activities, research opportunities, internships, career related functions. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, I have been able to participate in any field of my choosing on and off campus and I feel that I am respected by non-Muslims because of my mannerism and modest attire, however, I feel like I am looked down upon my Muslims do not dress to the extent that I do...

It is not enough to say that other Muslimahs are stronger than you are because they are able to wear jilbabs while living out their daily lives in the Western world. If it is a matter of whether or not we can do it, then I believe all Muslimahs can do it. It is more a matter of whether or not we want to take extra effort. If one decides to begin wearing hijab in order to please Allah (swt) then why not do in a way that she knows 100% sure is permissible??

[Gotham]

ahh, ive been thinking that i might start as well... how does one start? i dunno if im going to do it though. for some reason, it seems kind of scary..

and why are abayas so expensive? 70-80$ is a bit much

Edited by haidernyc, 24 March 2012 - 04:24 PM.

[muslimah1]

haidernyc, on 24 March 2012 - 04:23 PM, said:

ahh, ive been thinking that i might start as well... how does one start? i dunno if im going to do it though. for some reason, it seems kind of scary..

and why are abayas so expensive? 70-80$ is a bit much

U just start lol just put it on and walk out

Trust me that's the cheapest there is for those types of abayas

[shiasoul]

My problem is that I want to wear an abaya but my parents don't let me . They actually stopped me from wearing a scarf when I was 8. I'm not saying they're awful, it's just very frustrating and I don't know what to do.

[-Enlightened]

haidernyc, on 24 March 2012 - 04:23 PM, said:

and why are abayas so expensive? 70-80$ is a bit much

they want to make sure that once you buy it, you'll wear it for real ..so that u don't feel bad about wasting money

[muslimah1]

shiasoul, on 24 March 2012 - 06:32 PM, said:

My problem is that I want to wear an abaya but my parents don't let me . They actually stopped me from wearing a scarf when I was 8. I'm not saying they're awful, it's just very frustrating and I don't know what to do.

My parents were against t to bu oh well just wear it n they will eventually get used to it

[shiasoul]

muslimah1, on 24 March 2012 - 07:07 PM, said:

My parents were against t to bu oh well just wear it n they will eventually get used to it

I just can't do that, I feel it'll be disrespectful and respecting them is wajib while an abaya is not. Perhaps it's not the right time for me, so Allah (swt) hasn't given them the okay in their hearts.

MadeehaBatool23, on 22 March 2012 - 01:26 PM, said:

the only problem is, it gets really hot in the summer if you're wearing a black abaya and clothes underneath as well

Wear technical clothing underneath, like wicking

[muslimah1]

shiasoul, on 24 March 2012 - 07:13 PM, said:

I just can't do that, I feel it'll be disrespectful and respecting them is wajib while an abaya is not. Perhaps it's not the right time for me, so Allah (swt) hasn't given them the okay in their hearts.

Well inshallah by agree soon, but show then that u really wanna wear it talk to them about it

[shiasoul]

-Enlightened, on 22 March 2012 - 05:38 PM, said:

by the way,  just to make it clear ..it's abaya the one that goes on the head that i want to wear...not the normal one

When you start actually wearing one inshAllah, please let me know how it's going! That's an amazing goal you have there

[Maryaam]

I like the idea of wearing anything you want under it so you dont have to worry so much about what you are wearing.

Edited by Maryaam, 24 March 2012 - 07:46 PM.

[Naz_]

haidernyc, on 24 March 2012 - 04:23 PM, said:

ahh, ive been thinking that i might start as well... how does one start? i dunno if im going to do it though. for some reason, it seems kind of scary..

and why are abayas so expensive? 70-80$ is a bit much

Its not scary at all. If you have enough passion to put it on then you will automatically have the will power to go out there with an abaya on!
You can get cheap ones too, just need to find the right shop.
How do you start? Buy an abaya. Wear it. Go out. - You might be a bit uncomfortable at first but you'll eventually grow to love wearing it.

shiasoul, on 24 March 2012 - 06:32 PM, said:

My problem is that I want to wear an abaya but my parents don't let me . They actually stopped me from wearing a scarf when I was 8. I'm not saying they're awful, it's just very frustrating and I don't know what to do.

I had a similar problem with my parents however they finally allowed me to wear it so Alhamdulilah. My advice is not to wear it (yet) and dont go against what your parents say. Wearing an abaya isn't wajib and listening to your parents is, so youre doing a good thing by listening to them. It does get frustrating because you feel as if theyre getting in the way of you being a better person/muslim. Be patient, try to have a chat with them (tell them why you wanna wear it) try to convince them. With time, I'm sure they will agree and inshaAllah you'll be wearing one soon Good luck!

[shiasoul]

Naz_, on 24 March 2012 - 08:20 PM, said:

It does get frustrating because you feel as if theyre getting in the way of you being a better person/muslim. Be patient, try to have a chat with them (tell them why you wanna wear it) try to convince them. With time, I'm sure they will agree and inshaAllah you'll be wearing one soon Good luck!

Thanks, ugh actually I think I'm getting in my own way by not controlling my anger. Talking with my parents is close to impossible, lets just say theyre very traditional. Any unique hints on how to hold your anger? I tried biting my tongue today, it worked...until I let go and that's when I burst :'(.