Salaam Fellow Members.
My S.Asian friend recently had guests at her house, not just for dinner but for an introduction meeting... the sort of meetings families have when they wish to introduce their son or daughter at the possibility that there maybe a marriage proposal...
Anyway my friend's meeting went terribly wrong and she is devastated. I wont go into any further detail because some members may not appreciate it. So all I request is some advice as to how I may cheer her up?
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My Friend's Marriage Proposal...
Started by
Mahdiyah
, Mar 13 2012 01:24 PM
becomes a tragedy!
34 replies to this topic
#2
Propaganda_of_the_Deed
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 01:27 PM
Now you've got me wondering what could have possibly gone that terribly wrong 
Chocolates fix all.
Chocolates fix all.
"If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled.
For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!"
Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
~ Charles Patterson
#4
jannahismygoal
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 01:31 PM
Does she like kids?
If so, take her to a location infested with them rascals! They always manage to draw a smile on your face, most of the time
If so, take her to a location infested with them rascals! They always manage to draw a smile on your face, most of the time
...And Among them are those who wait
#6
Propaganda_of_the_Deed
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 01:48 PM
~Ruqaya, on 13 March 2012 - 01:46 PM, said:
Is this the friend with the onion breath? =s
Would make sense.
"If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled.
For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!"
Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
~ Charles Patterson
#7
Aly ReZa
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 01:51 PM
hmm very caring friend
Hang out
Hang out
Haiderium Qalandram Mastam
Banda e Murtaza Ali Hastam
Peshwa e tamam Rindanam
Ke Sag e Koo e Sher e Yazdanam!
I am Haideri, Qalandar and Mast (intoxicated with inspiration)
I am a slave of Ali Murtaza
I am leader of all saints
Because I am a DOG of the lane of "Allah's Lion" Referring to ALI (as)
:yaali: :yaali: :yaali:
#8
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 02:31 PM
hhhmm buy her diamond, my mom says diamonds can make lady forget any thing 
Edited by yamolaAlimadad, 13 March 2012 - 02:44 PM.
#9
Alejandro Sosa
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 03:09 PM
Mahdiyah, on 13 March 2012 - 01:24 PM, said:
Salaam Fellow Members.
My S.Asian friend recently had guests at her house, not just for dinner but for an introduction meeting... the sort of meetings families have when they wish to introduce their son or daughter at the possibility that there maybe a marriage proposal...
Anyway my friend's meeting went terribly wrong and she is devastated. I wont go into any further detail because some members may not appreciate it. So all I request is some advice as to how I may cheer her up?
My S.Asian friend recently had guests at her house, not just for dinner but for an introduction meeting... the sort of meetings families have when they wish to introduce their son or daughter at the possibility that there maybe a marriage proposal...
Anyway my friend's meeting went terribly wrong and she is devastated. I wont go into any further detail because some members may not appreciate it. So all I request is some advice as to how I may cheer her up?
what's the point of this thread if you wont go into detail? surely she's your friend and you know her personality so u know how to cheer her up
#11
ImAli
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 03:33 PM
Please give us the gory details.....I live for your threads ROFL.
#12
UndercoverBrother
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 06:10 PM
Salam
What i would suggest is putting things into perspective Islamically maybe you could get relevant hadiths or verses of the Quran which would make her feel better about the situation she is in. Some of us find peace of mind in Islam when we are down and it gives us satisfaction and fulfills our religiousity (reverence) instinct, the same instinct all humans have to rever to something greater when we realise the limitations of our self.
What i would suggest is putting things into perspective Islamically maybe you could get relevant hadiths or verses of the Quran which would make her feel better about the situation she is in. Some of us find peace of mind in Islam when we are down and it gives us satisfaction and fulfills our religiousity (reverence) instinct, the same instinct all humans have to rever to something greater when we realise the limitations of our self.
[57.25] Certainly We sent Our apostles with clear arguments, and sent down with them the Book and the balance that men may conduct themselves with equity; and We have made the iron, wherein is great violence and advantages to men, and that Allah may know who helps Him and His apostles in the secret; surely Allah is Strong, Mighty.
Submission belongs only to Almighty Allah. If you agree, go to: http://www.mfp.org.au
Submission belongs only to Almighty Allah. If you agree, go to: http://www.mfp.org.au
#13
jannahismygoal
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 08:39 PM
UndercoverBrother, on 13 March 2012 - 06:10 PM, said:
Salam
What i would suggest is putting things into perspective Islamically maybe you could get relevant hadiths or verses of the Quran which would make her feel better about the situation she is in. Some of us find peace of mind in Islam when we are down and it gives us satisfaction and fulfills our religiousity (reverence) instinct, the same instinct all humans have to rever to something greater when we realise the limitations of our self.
What i would suggest is putting things into perspective Islamically maybe you could get relevant hadiths or verses of the Quran which would make her feel better about the situation she is in. Some of us find peace of mind in Islam when we are down and it gives us satisfaction and fulfills our religiousity (reverence) instinct, the same instinct all humans have to rever to something greater when we realise the limitations of our self.
Ahsent! works like a charm
...And Among them are those who wait
#14
Mahdiyah
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Posted 14 March 2012 - 12:47 PM
Salaam 
Well if you insist...
My friend told me the young lad came with his parents for a meeting etc... they served dinner (I hope it wasnt anymore of that cuchumbar think!) they were allowed a short while to conversate ie get to know if they had any interests then as the family were about to leave she went upstairs for something maybe the loo etc...
not wanting to miss saying goodbye she rushed towards the stairs only to get the shock of her life as she surprisingly fell from the very top all the way to the bottom of the staircase landing literally just a few cms away from the guy and his familiy's feet who watched the entire incident. Then after a few seconds all came to her aid as you can imagine what my poor friend must have gone through.
There wasnt much one could have done to save her as by the time everyone realised what was happining she had already reached the end of the stairs quite helpless situation really. Anyway soon the family left for their home and my friend was still experiencing alot of discomfort her Mum told her this is quite normal because she has had quite a fall! But by later night her symptoms were no better and her parents took her to A&E and hours later an x-ray confirmed she had infact slightly broke off the very end of her spine known as the tail bone a mild fracture mind you but by all means quite painful. But the good news is she was sent home and reasured that it will heal naturally over a few weeks...
other than that she got away with just a few bruises (on the you know where) and grazed elbows so you dont have to worry about that bit anymore.
Anyway I came to see her and asked if there was anything she liked about the boy and she replied he was the love of her life and at that point she burst into tears! Worse still she said as she was falling down the stairs her fancy Indian outfit called the Shalwaar-Kameez began moving upwards infact by the time she had reached the end of the stairs the bottom part had come upto her knees and her Indian fancy sandals called Champals had flung off from her feet and landed heaven knows where! Infact she thinks it was because of the dam Champals all this happend I mean the sandals where very flat anf slippy. I joked did you shave?... Trying to cheer her up but it didnt work and she is still very upset... she thinks that because of what has happened it may have effect on the boy's side of decision.
Now if you are a boy and this happened to a girl you had a meeting etc with and the poor thing fell down the stairs or similar, would it change or alter in any way your decision? Also how can I help her cheer-up as she has been sitting home miserable eversince, I think she is very embarassed (who can blame her)!
Well if you insist...
My friend told me the young lad came with his parents for a meeting etc... they served dinner (I hope it wasnt anymore of that cuchumbar think!) they were allowed a short while to conversate ie get to know if they had any interests then as the family were about to leave she went upstairs for something maybe the loo etc...
not wanting to miss saying goodbye she rushed towards the stairs only to get the shock of her life as she surprisingly fell from the very top all the way to the bottom of the staircase landing literally just a few cms away from the guy and his familiy's feet who watched the entire incident. Then after a few seconds all came to her aid as you can imagine what my poor friend must have gone through.
There wasnt much one could have done to save her as by the time everyone realised what was happining she had already reached the end of the stairs quite helpless situation really. Anyway soon the family left for their home and my friend was still experiencing alot of discomfort her Mum told her this is quite normal because she has had quite a fall! But by later night her symptoms were no better and her parents took her to A&E and hours later an x-ray confirmed she had infact slightly broke off the very end of her spine known as the tail bone a mild fracture mind you but by all means quite painful. But the good news is she was sent home and reasured that it will heal naturally over a few weeks...
other than that she got away with just a few bruises (on the you know where) and grazed elbows so you dont have to worry about that bit anymore.
Anyway I came to see her and asked if there was anything she liked about the boy and she replied he was the love of her life and at that point she burst into tears! Worse still she said as she was falling down the stairs her fancy Indian outfit called the Shalwaar-Kameez began moving upwards infact by the time she had reached the end of the stairs the bottom part had come upto her knees and her Indian fancy sandals called Champals had flung off from her feet and landed heaven knows where! Infact she thinks it was because of the dam Champals all this happend I mean the sandals where very flat anf slippy. I joked did you shave?... Trying to cheer her up but it didnt work and she is still very upset... she thinks that because of what has happened it may have effect on the boy's side of decision.
Now if you are a boy and this happened to a girl you had a meeting etc with and the poor thing fell down the stairs or similar, would it change or alter in any way your decision? Also how can I help her cheer-up as she has been sitting home miserable eversince, I think she is very embarassed (who can blame her)!
Edited by Mahdiyah, 14 March 2012 - 01:06 PM.
#15
Abu Hadi
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Posted 14 March 2012 - 01:12 PM
That sounds like a comedy sketch from some American or British T.V. show, loooool. The good thing is that she is o.k. If it was me, I think it would actually increase the chances of me wanting to pursue the marriage possibility, unless she is a habiltually clumsy person in real life and it is not related to the sandles. I'm thinking it is probably a combination of the sandles and adreniline, nervousness about the situation. In America, we have the saying 'He / she really fell for you'. Well now he can say that quite literally, 
Hadith #32.
With my continuous chain of transmission reaching up to Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulaynl, from al-Husayn ibn Muhammad, from al-Mu'alla ibn Muhammad, from al-Hasan ibn 'All al-Washsha', from 'Abd Allah ibn Sinan, from Abu 'Abd Allah, may Peace be upon him, which he said:
"Among the things pertaining to the soundness of a Muslim's certitude [in faith] is that he would not please people while displeasing God, nor blame them for something that God has not given him. For, verily, [God's] rizq (provision, sustenance) is not brought about by anybody's greed, nor is it withheld by anyone's disapproval, and were anyone of you to flee from his rizq like he flees death, his rizq would overtake him in the way he is overtaken by death." Then he added, "Indeed Allah with His justice and fairness, has put joy and comfort in certainty (yaqin) and satisfaction (al- rida) and He has put sorrow and grief in doubt and dissatisfaction."
http://www.al-islam.org/40hadith/
With my continuous chain of transmission reaching up to Muhammad ibn Ya'qub al-Kulaynl, from al-Husayn ibn Muhammad, from al-Mu'alla ibn Muhammad, from al-Hasan ibn 'All al-Washsha', from 'Abd Allah ibn Sinan, from Abu 'Abd Allah, may Peace be upon him, which he said:
"Among the things pertaining to the soundness of a Muslim's certitude [in faith] is that he would not please people while displeasing God, nor blame them for something that God has not given him. For, verily, [God's] rizq (provision, sustenance) is not brought about by anybody's greed, nor is it withheld by anyone's disapproval, and were anyone of you to flee from his rizq like he flees death, his rizq would overtake him in the way he is overtaken by death." Then he added, "Indeed Allah with His justice and fairness, has put joy and comfort in certainty (yaqin) and satisfaction (al- rida) and He has put sorrow and grief in doubt and dissatisfaction."
http://www.al-islam.org/40hadith/
#16
Propaganda_of_the_Deed
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Posted 14 March 2012 - 01:24 PM
Mahdiyah, on 14 March 2012 - 12:47 PM, said:
Anyway I came to see her and asked if there was anything she liked about the boy and she replied he was the love of her life and at that point she burst into tears!
Are you for real? They literally just met once and spoke probably a few minutes.. how on earth did she deduce such a thing?
Mahdiyah, on 14 March 2012 - 12:47 PM, said:
Now if you are a boy and this happened to a girl you had a meeting etc with and the poor thing fell down the stairs or similar, would it change or alter in any way your decision?
Well sure it would be Awkwaaaaard!.. and I'd probably think of her being a bit of a ditsy lol
But in all honesty it depends how attractive and if she had an ok personality...then I don't think falling down the stairs would put me off so much. Depends on the individual of course.
"If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled.
For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!"
Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
~ Charles Patterson
#17
Aqua
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Posted 14 March 2012 - 05:38 PM
Sorry to hear about your friend. Bring ice cream, chocolate, cake (heck, bring chocolate cake!), fudge, brownies, Skittles (gelatin free of course), Twix, Snickers, Whoppers, 3 Musketeers, stuff 'em all in a basket along with comfort films (I recommend Nemo, the Lion King, Toy Story - things that avoid the subject of marriage), and a big box of tissues just in case, and be there to comfort and listen to her when she needs it.
I know you didn't give us any details, but I think in a lot of situations, time makes things better. Inshallah with the passing of time, hopefully a few months, things will get better for your friend and she will be able to move on. I think the best thing you can do for her right now is to just be there for her.
I know you didn't give us any details, but I think in a lot of situations, time makes things better. Inshallah with the passing of time, hopefully a few months, things will get better for your friend and she will be able to move on. I think the best thing you can do for her right now is to just be there for her.
Edited by Aqua, 14 March 2012 - 05:38 PM.
"The best thing [about hijab] is that at night, when you're alone, you see your beautiful hair and beautiful body and know that Allah swt has blessed you with such beauty. And you feel proud of that beauty, it's all yours since you don't have to share it with anyone. But when you put on that hijab of Fatima Zahra and Zaynab sa, this beauty isn't yours. This beauty is theirs and it makes you feel elevated and honored. It makes me feel even more beautiful.
And when I observe my hijab, it makes me feel like the most courageous soldier on this Earth. To have the hijab of Zaynab!!! Dear Lord, it gives me power! No one can understand the energy running through my veins."
-Shiasoul
And when I observe my hijab, it makes me feel like the most courageous soldier on this Earth. To have the hijab of Zaynab!!! Dear Lord, it gives me power! No one can understand the energy running through my veins."
-Shiasoul
#18
UndercoverBrother
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Posted 14 March 2012 - 08:17 PM
Some men find clumsy, shy and insecure women attractive, Men like to be confident and in control so see themselves as superior had there been a role reversal and the boy fell down the stairs it would have been worse as the women would have been completely putt off. This my make the boy like here even more
Bottom line is it could all have been avoided if Proper Hijab was observed i.e. khimar and jilbab, never heard of anyone tripping over thier khimar!
Bottom line is it could all have been avoided if Proper Hijab was observed i.e. khimar and jilbab, never heard of anyone tripping over thier khimar!
[57.25] Certainly We sent Our apostles with clear arguments, and sent down with them the Book and the balance that men may conduct themselves with equity; and We have made the iron, wherein is great violence and advantages to men, and that Allah may know who helps Him and His apostles in the secret; surely Allah is Strong, Mighty.
Submission belongs only to Almighty Allah. If you agree, go to: http://www.mfp.org.au
Submission belongs only to Almighty Allah. If you agree, go to: http://www.mfp.org.au
#19
Mahdiyah
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Posted 14 March 2012 - 08:29 PM
UndercoverBrother, on 13 March 2012 - 06:10 PM, said:
Salam
What i would suggest is putting things into perspective Islamically maybe you could get relevant hadiths or verses of the Quran which would make her feel better about the situation she is in. Some of us find peace of mind in Islam when we are down and it gives us satisfaction and fulfills our religiousity (reverence) instinct, the same instinct all humans have to rever to something greater when we realise the limitations of our self.
What i would suggest is putting things into perspective Islamically maybe you could get relevant hadiths or verses of the Quran which would make her feel better about the situation she is in. Some of us find peace of mind in Islam when we are down and it gives us satisfaction and fulfills our religiousity (reverence) instinct, the same instinct all humans have to rever to something greater when we realise the limitations of our self.
Salaam.
You are a gentleman Bro
#20
Aqua
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Posted 14 March 2012 - 09:33 PM
Mahdiyah, I just read your reply about what happened.
That sure does sound embarrassing but I don't think it would really affect the boy's decision in any way. I mean why would it? I think everything will be okay, inshallah. Your friend is probably still really embarrassed and upset about the whole thing, so just tell her it will all be okay, as I'm sure it will.
That sure does sound embarrassing but I don't think it would really affect the boy's decision in any way. I mean why would it? I think everything will be okay, inshallah. Your friend is probably still really embarrassed and upset about the whole thing, so just tell her it will all be okay, as I'm sure it will.
"The best thing [about hijab] is that at night, when you're alone, you see your beautiful hair and beautiful body and know that Allah swt has blessed you with such beauty. And you feel proud of that beauty, it's all yours since you don't have to share it with anyone. But when you put on that hijab of Fatima Zahra and Zaynab sa, this beauty isn't yours. This beauty is theirs and it makes you feel elevated and honored. It makes me feel even more beautiful.
And when I observe my hijab, it makes me feel like the most courageous soldier on this Earth. To have the hijab of Zaynab!!! Dear Lord, it gives me power! No one can understand the energy running through my veins."
-Shiasoul
And when I observe my hijab, it makes me feel like the most courageous soldier on this Earth. To have the hijab of Zaynab!!! Dear Lord, it gives me power! No one can understand the energy running through my veins."
-Shiasoul
#21
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Posted 15 March 2012 - 12:30 AM
lol what is there to get upset? I mean she just fall down thats it....if boy is little educated and understanding I dont think this is a reason to reject a girl.infact he shud have concern about her,and come to visit her in hospital.
#22
Aqua
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Posted 15 March 2012 - 12:34 AM
Some people are a little more sensitive than others - that situation must have been really embarrassing for her and yeah I agree, the guy should care if he has any sense at all, and I don't see how the fall could have had an effect on his decision in any way. But inshallah with time the girl realizes that this was really nothing to worry about.
"The best thing [about hijab] is that at night, when you're alone, you see your beautiful hair and beautiful body and know that Allah swt has blessed you with such beauty. And you feel proud of that beauty, it's all yours since you don't have to share it with anyone. But when you put on that hijab of Fatima Zahra and Zaynab sa, this beauty isn't yours. This beauty is theirs and it makes you feel elevated and honored. It makes me feel even more beautiful.
And when I observe my hijab, it makes me feel like the most courageous soldier on this Earth. To have the hijab of Zaynab!!! Dear Lord, it gives me power! No one can understand the energy running through my veins."
-Shiasoul
And when I observe my hijab, it makes me feel like the most courageous soldier on this Earth. To have the hijab of Zaynab!!! Dear Lord, it gives me power! No one can understand the energy running through my veins."
-Shiasoul
#23
The Canuck
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Posted 15 March 2012 - 02:02 AM
It seems like just an accident. Why would that affect his decision? ... if I was the guy...I'd be feeling a little better about myself, I got the 1-up in this situation. Time to feel a little cocky. That and I'd be feeling bad for the girl so I'd be forcing myself into saying yes anyways.
It shouldn't affect his decision. And if it does, then your friend has nothing to worry about because he wasn't suited for her in the first place.
Lastly, take your friend out and laugh about it over a few non-alcoholic halal beers.
ws
"one amongst you believes (truly) till one likes for his brother or for his neighbour that which he loves for himself." Prophet Muhammad (saw)
Imam Ali (as) on the Prophet Muhammad(saw): Fear Allah, to your affairs in order, and maintain good relations amongst yourselves for I have heard the Prophet (saw)say "Improvement of mutual differences is better than general praying and fasting".
Hova Aziz:
www.shaheedfoundation.org
Imam Ali (as) on the Prophet Muhammad(saw): Fear Allah, to your affairs in order, and maintain good relations amongst yourselves for I have heard the Prophet (saw)say "Improvement of mutual differences is better than general praying and fasting".
Hova Aziz:
www.shaheedfoundation.org
#24
Aqua
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Posted 15 March 2012 - 02:10 AM
Quote
Lastly, take your friend out and laugh about it over a few non-alcoholic halal beers.
"The best thing [about hijab] is that at night, when you're alone, you see your beautiful hair and beautiful body and know that Allah swt has blessed you with such beauty. And you feel proud of that beauty, it's all yours since you don't have to share it with anyone. But when you put on that hijab of Fatima Zahra and Zaynab sa, this beauty isn't yours. This beauty is theirs and it makes you feel elevated and honored. It makes me feel even more beautiful.
And when I observe my hijab, it makes me feel like the most courageous soldier on this Earth. To have the hijab of Zaynab!!! Dear Lord, it gives me power! No one can understand the energy running through my veins."
-Shiasoul
And when I observe my hijab, it makes me feel like the most courageous soldier on this Earth. To have the hijab of Zaynab!!! Dear Lord, it gives me power! No one can understand the energy running through my veins."
-Shiasoul
#25
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Posted 15 March 2012 - 10:28 AM
... 
... 
... 
... 
... 
...Mahdiyah, its a rollercoaster ride of emotions reading your posts! Your friend shouldnt worry about being a bit clumsy, i am clumsy (always spilling food over me, breaking stuff, falling over) but my hubby finds it charming for some reason xD and if she finds a nice guy he will too =)
... ... ... ... ...Mahdiyah, its a rollercoaster ride of emotions reading your posts! Your friend shouldnt worry about being a bit clumsy, i am clumsy (always spilling food over me, breaking stuff, falling over) but my hubby finds it charming for some reason xD and if she finds a nice guy he will too =)
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