12 replies to this topic

[Aqua]

This is my understanding of how to love someone, be it a wife or husband or anyone else you love:

1. Always put their needs ahead of yours.
2. Try to see things from their perspective often.
3. Always listen to their concerns and opinions and take them seriously.
4. Be there for them when they are upset.
5. Always support them.
6. Encourage them (as long as it's not about something that will harm them).
7. Show that you love them often - hugs, kisses, say "I love you." etc.
8. Do special things for them, even if they ask you not to (ex. birthday, anniversary etc.)
9. Try to make up immediately after a fight, even if you are still mad.
10. Don't go to bed angry at them (cliche but true).
11. Smile at them when they walk into the room.
12. Remember the little things, like what their favorite food/color is.
13. Make the house a happy, loving place to be when they come home.
14. Be thoughtful and helpful (ex, help around the house, help with work related problems when you can)
15. Try not to add to their stress.
16. Be as selfless as you can towards each other.
17. Learn to compromise/let things go.
18. Keep your promises to each other.

That's all I could think of right off the bat. I'm sure there are tons more stuff, but I think those are the basics. Did I miss anything? What do you think? How do you show someone you love them?

[Quranist]

I dont know,yet I am not able to sustain my self with a single LOVE.

but your list is excellent,thanx

[Aqua]

Thanks! I'm not married yet (hoping to be soon), but I'm probably going to be the cheesiest, corniest and most annoyingly romantic wife ever lol.

This list isn't really exclusive to just husband or wife - it can apply to your kids, parents, siblings, friends, etc.

[Ali_Hussain]

And if the question was 'how to be considerate', how different would the list have turned out?

It's a bit of a loaded question really, no doubt your list would lead to an atmosphere where love could flourish, but with something so heartfelt, I'm not really sure it is possible to list out the things that it comprises, and that lead to it. For example, sadly many people may have an awful mother, but they will often still love her no matter what, so there is the kind of love you have for a relative, where you look past their flaws (though of course we don't all do this), then the love you have for another person, a partner for example, where, even though it could be strong, it can also die down for what ever reason, the love you have for someone for the sake of Allah is also another form of love, and so on - each have their own special circumstances.


I think it was Imam Sadiq (a) who said 'when you love someone, you criticise them'

Edited by Ali_Hussain, 11 March 2012 - 01:58 AM.

[Forgive]

very good list Aqua this list also helps us be better people if we treat everyone how we would like to be treated the world will be a better place.

[worshiper]

Aqua, on 11 March 2012 - 12:34 AM, said:

This is my understanding of how to love someone, be it a wife or husband or anyone else you love:

1. Always put their needs ahead of yours.
2. Try to see things from their perspective often.
3. Always listen to their concerns and opinions and take them seriously.
4. Be there for them when they are upset.
5. Always support them.
6. Encourage them (as long as it's not about something that will harm them).
7. Show that you love them often - hugs, kisses, say "I love you." etc.
8. Do special things for them, even if they ask you not to (ex. birthday, anniversary etc.)
9. Try to make up immediately after a fight, even if you are still mad.
10. Don't go to bed angry at them (cliche but true).
11. Smile at them when they walk into the room.
12. Remember the little things, like what their favorite food/color is.
13. Make the house a happy, loving place to be when they come home.
14. Be thoughtful and helpful (ex, help around the house, help with work related problems when you can)
15. Try not to add to their stress.
16. Be as selfless as you can towards each other.
17. Learn to compromise/let things go.
18. Keep your promises to each other.

That's all I could think of right off the bat. I'm sure there are tons more stuff, but I think those are the basics. Did I miss anything? What do you think? How do you show someone you love them?

all this is true. but these can be done when u r contented. and when u  are not; u cannot go for these things coz ur mind or heart will not help u doing the mentioned things against ur desires.
i tried all these things for a long time but these things made my beloved prone to me and away from religion. lastly i was blamed for being a bigot.

[md. ammar ali]

very good post

[ghazi]

Imagine how much your mother loves then imagine how much Allah loves you.

Now apply that in your life and love others through those eyes and see what love is.

[Endless Emotion]

Aqua, on 11 March 2012 - 12:34 AM, said:

1. Always put their needs ahead of yours.
2. Try to see things from their perspective often.
3. Always listen to their concerns and opinions and take them seriously.
4. Be there for them when they are upset.
5. Always support them.
6. Encourage them (as long as it's not about something that will harm them).
7. Show that you love them often - hugs, kisses, say "I love you." etc.
8. Do special things for them, even if they ask you not to (ex. birthday, anniversary etc.)
9. Try to make up immediately after a fight, even if you are still mad.
10. Don't go to bed angry at them (cliche but true).
11. Smile at them when they walk into the room.
12. Remember the little things, like what their favorite food/color is.
13. Make the house a happy, loving place to be when they come home.
14. Be thoughtful and helpful (ex, help around the house, help with work related problems when you can)
15. Try not to add to their stress.
16. Be as selfless as you can towards each other.
17. Learn to compromise/let things go.
18. Keep your promises to each other.

What a nice list, thanks for sharing it with us sis Aqua, you will for sure become a lovely caring wife, good luck with your marriage.
But some part of it sounds like a fairytale, how should we show ''romantic'' love for someone if we don’t completely understanding what it stands for?  Is love a decision, an emotion, a biological urge or just spiritual? There are so many sides of love; it's so complicated to define them.

For instance, there are people who orient their whole life according to love. They neglect many other important parts of life because of their feeling of love, like not hanging out with friends and so on. Besides, love for family and friends are always there, but what if a family member die let say *in cancer* Inna lillah wa inna illeyh rajion, or when we lose a close friend in a car accident!!  We never truly stop loving that person; we just learn to live without them. Does that mean that love is merely a human emotion that fades away with time?
Then what makes the love for Allah/god so strong, if we come closer to death it gets only stronger. All of these questions circulating around  my head, with no answers. Well, my advice to young girls is to not think of ''romantic'' relationship or even getting married during study period, because it takes a lot of energy and time to reflect on this subject. In addition, I believe there are many other extremely important things in life than relationship. If you're not ready or mature enough to take this major responsibility then DON'T FALL IN LOVE.

[Golden-crowned]

the first thing you should know abt love is:

Love your beloved one for sake of Allah. if your love is a ray of eternal love (which belongs to Allah and Ahlebayt ) then it will shine till the time that Allah wants and it will not die for ever.
due to this reality that every worldly matters will change and it will be faded a day, If you love someone for any other worldly reason, your love to that person wont be able to survive during lots of hardships , arguments and misunderstandings between you and your beloved one...

so the first point abt love is:

Love your beloved one for sake of Allah and also teach her/him to Love you for sake of Allah.

[md. ammar ali]

Aqua, on 11 March 2012 - 12:49 AM, said:

the cheesiest, corniest and most annoyingly romantic wife ever

then your husband(would be) is very lucky

[annum_x]

I believe that its impossible to make a complete list of things because its really endless on how you would show your love to someone.. Everyone has they own personalities and own ways.. Some may show it with simple words or others my show it with only their actions..
It varies with the individual..
Allah fills our heart with love so we may love our partner for the sake of Allah and completing half our deen.. So let it be natural and thank Allah for what your blessed with and surely the love and affection would come out naturally

[Aly ReZa]

have money have honey

no money no honey