9 replies to this topic

[mehmur]

Salam,

So, here is my problem..

I know him for the last 4-5 years (net friends), he is REALLY good when it comes to religious practices, I always seek his help whenever i need any help related to relegion. Plus he is very caring etc. Cutshort, he proposed me 4-5 months back, I am confused because:

1) He was engaged for few months, which was later turned own by his in laws to be ( because HE wanted to get married soon, and her parents turned down) .

2) Few months later he asked me to do Mutah (which I turned down), then he asked for permanent marriage, I turned down this as well. (Because I thought he is way better than me w.r.t. Relegion and propably he would say Oh, u don’t knw this, u don’t knw that etc etc, after marriage).

3) When I refused him, he was OK with that. Somehow, we end up fighting and quit chatting for 3 months.

4) When we resume talking, I got to knw that he was in Mutah (his first mutah). which ended up because his wife wanted to have a child and he dint.


He STILL wants to marry me. But Idk what should I do.
Guys I REALLY need your help..

Salamunalaikum

[Najafia.]

I'm sorry for being kinda hard and straight, but it sounds for me like you're his last option of all the options he had.

[mehmur]

Najafia., on 15 February 2012 - 06:42 PM, said:

I'm sorry for being kinda hard and straight, but it sounds for me like you're his last option of all the options he had.

Same was my thinking as I did share with him, but I know he has many options.

[mehmur]

Najafia., on 15 February 2012 - 06:42 PM, said:

I'm sorry for being kinda hard and straight, but it sounds for me like you're his last option of all the options he had.

But I know the fact that he has many options..

[Inception]

Salaam aleykom

if he sees you as a good wife, why start with mutah? why not start asking for permanent and see what your situation is, which he already knows???

so somehow, he didnt want to commit with you a longer time..I think!

so, now define your feelings about this...how much does he like you, how much does he think you are a good wife and really wants you?? does he want to make a real effort to make this marriage work??

better than you or not, he knows you very well to look away from this particular issue. so don't think about it!!!

hope this helps
cheers

[Awaiting_for_the12th]

Salam alikum,
I will try to give the guys perspective in this. If you are of age to get married and you think he is the right guy (as in a momin) then get permanent marriage. He did few things you described that raised some red flags (religiously he didnt do anything wrong) but since he ran away from a responsibility of having a child, you should clear that out with him. Unless, you dont want any children too. And go only for permanent marriage, and Mutah only if both families parents get involved so he doesn't leave you too.

[mehmur]

Awaiting_for_the12th, on 17 February 2012 - 07:50 PM, said:

He did few things you described that raised some red flags (religiously he didnt do anything wrong)

How this is a red flag?

[Awaiting_for_the12th]

mehmur, on 18 February 2012 - 02:12 AM, said:

How this is a red flag?

"When we resume talking, I got to knw that he was in Mutah (his first mutah). which ended up because his wife wanted to have a child and he dint"

[mehmur]

Awaiting_for_the12th, on 18 February 2012 - 11:17 AM, said:

"When we resume talking, I got to knw that he was in Mutah (his first mutah). which ended up because his wife wanted to have a child and he dint"

yes because he dint want any trouble for the girl as she was divorced (and dint hv the permission of her waali)

[Jafariyya]

He seems unstable