88 replies to this topic

[Gypsy]

alimohammed,
the link I showed you have a fatwa from sistani stating that it is unproven that polygammy is mustahab.

also bear in mind that we already have fatwas from marja that allows women to have power of attorney to divorce herself from the man (in her marital contract) upon the man taking another wife. see the link in my earlier post.

Anyway, you can disagree all you want but as long as a woman clearly specify that she expects a monogamous marriage then that is the type of marital contract they have. If they don't agree then obviously no point in taking the relationship further.

[ImAli]

OneNoteSong, on 26 April 2012 - 10:10 AM, said:

the older woman get teach the younger boy what to do...as someone recently suggested in some marriage thread, except it was with a young virgin girl and a 50-year-old man.

Yes believe me 50 year old men....most of the young virgins want nothing to do with you so quit dreaming. I read that thread.....he was suggesting a woman be passed around until she reaches about 30 years old.

[alimohamad40]

gypsy
did you read the chapter about invalid conditions in marriage  contracts in wasael alshia ?

having a monogamy condition is invalid and haraam

having the power to divorce is not related to monogamy because even in any situation a woman can ask for khul even in the most trivial things and the judge has to grant her if she is determined and doesn't want the man anymore

but divorce being hallal in itself and in general doesnt mean whoever has a divorce is safe from  sins

divorce will be valid but destroying a good relationship due to your hate for what god has made lawful is a sin that you have to answer to god plus the destruction of your children's lives

[Waiting for HIM]

OneNoteSong, on 26 April 2012 - 10:10 AM, said:

Young men, if you want a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th wife, why don't you target the older divorcees or something? If you are, say, a 19-year-old boy, why don't you go for a 40-year-old woman instead of the 12-year-old girl? That way, the older woman get teach the younger boy what to do...as someone recently suggested in some marriage thread, except it was with a young virgin girl and a 50-year-old man.

Agree-- anything which would help solve the corruption in humanity. And solve it will, if people (specifically women in this case) follow the laws of Allah and not of the Satanic cultures that they inherited from their parents and society.

Sisters, you are not answering this. Do you have other ways of solving this very genuine, non hypothetical, real life problems that are so prevalent in our society, all over, in the UK, USA, in ME, in S.Asia etc. Would you be able to follow the wives of our Aimah and allow your husbands to marry your cousin sisters who are getting older and have no suitor etc? Would you have compassion for your own blood?

I've friends here whose wives have other female cousin sisters sitting home, getting older, having all kinds of psychological problems for not getting married because there are not many Shia men available (due to simple 45:55 women to men ratio and influx of Western and Hindu cultures). But these women still won't allow their husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles to get married to those women. Isn't it a show of ultimate "women greed", "selfishness", and "self centeredness"?

Why women can't feel the pain of other women? Why women are enemies of eachother? Where is their humanity? Who do they follow, Hinda (l) or Fatima ZAhra ? How come they can consume thousands of dollars worth of luxuries while their own blood, their cousins are living a life of hell in lonliness and depression?

Edited by Waiting for HIM, 26 April 2012 - 10:21 AM.

[ImAli]

Waiting for HIM, on 26 April 2012 - 10:19 AM, said:

Agree-- anything which would help solve the corruption in humanity. And solve it will, if people (specifically women in this case) follow the laws of Allah and not of the Satanic cultures that they inherited from their parents and society.

Sisters, you are not answering this. Do you have other ways of solving this very genuine, non hypothetical, real life problems that are so prevalent in our society, all over, in the UK, USA, in ME, in S.Asia etc. Would you be able to follow the wives of our Aimah and allow your husbands to marry your cousin sisters who are getting older and have no suitor etc? Would you have compassion for your own blood?

I've friends here whose wives have other female cousin sisters sitting home, getting older, having all kinds of psychological problems for not getting married because there are not many Shia men available (due to simple 45:55 women to men ratio and influx of Western and Hindu cultures). But these women still won't allow their husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles to get married to those women. Isn't it a show of ultimate "women greed", "selfishness", and "self centeredness"?

Why women can't feel the pain of other women? Why women are enemies of eachother? Where is their humanity? Who do they follow, Hinda (l) or Fatima ZAhra ? How come they can consume thousands of dollars worth of luxuries while their own blood, their cousins are living a life of hell in lonliness and depression?

What are you talking about consuming 1,000's of dollars of luxuries? Do you realize some people are on a very strict budget? For example I lowered my standard of living when I married my husband. I stay home because he doesn't want me to work outside of the home....so I agreed to this to make him happy even though I would love to go back to work. If I did go back to work I would even earn more than him giving us more financial leeway...but no he doesn't want this so I stay home to make him happy. If we did bring in another woman there isn't any way we could do it without going on public assistance (thanks but no thanks), trust me it is not like you are trying to make it seem.

Edited by ImAli, 26 April 2012 - 10:31 AM.

[Propaganda_of_the_Deed]

ImAli, on 26 April 2012 - 10:27 AM, said:

What are you talking about consuming 1,000's of dollars of luxuries? Do you realize some people are on a very strict budget? For example I lowered my standard of living when I married my husband. I stay home because he doesn't want me to work outside of the home....so I agreed to this to make him happy even though I would love to go back to work. If I did go back to work I would even earn more than him giving us more financial leeway...but no he doesn't want this so I stay home to make him happy. If we did bring in another woman there isn't any way we could do it without going on public assistance (thanks but no thanks), trust me it is not like you are trying to make it seem.

Because you would be baws.

[Gypsy]

alimohamad40, on 26 April 2012 - 10:18 AM, said:

gypsy
did you read the chapter about invalid conditions in marriage  contracts in wasael alshia ?

having a monogamy condition is invalid and haraam

having the power to divorce is not related to monogamy because even in any situation a woman can ask for khul even in the most trivial things and the judge has to grant her if she is determined and doesn't want the man anymore

but divorce being hallal in itself and in general doesnt mean whoever has a divorce is safe from  sins

divorce will be valid but destroying a good relationship due to your hate for what god has made lawful is a sin that you have to answer to god plus the destruction of your children's lives

Divorce is halal. And if the women already specify upfront her requirement, it's not really her fault is it.

The marjas already stated the permissibility of including that clause.

Edited by Gypsy, 26 April 2012 - 10:59 AM.

[OneNoteSong]

80-yr-old widowa have needs, too. A  19-yr-old boy can learn from her, then drive her back to her assisted living facility.

[OneNoteSong]

*widows

And then you can hold her hand after her hip replacement.

Edited by OneNoteSong, 26 April 2012 - 01:21 PM.

[hubbe_hussein110]

^^
HAHAHAHAH




NOOO ur not funny!

Edited by hubbe_hussein110, 26 April 2012 - 04:29 PM.

[Ugly Jinn]

alimohamad40, on 26 April 2012 - 06:39 AM, said:

Fatwas of Scholars who Encourage polygyny:

But what do you have to say about certain Marjas allowing the woman the freedom to have a stipulation on a marriage contract?

OneNoteSong, on 26 April 2012 - 11:16 AM, said:

80-yr-old widowa have needs, too.

We'll let our grandfathers know.

[Hasan0404]

Hahaha, a wife might be headache but sweet, worth feeling. Man and woman cant live without each other. Each one is incomplete without the other. Well polygamy depends what scenario a man is in.

[Fatima Hussain]

I definitely would have a problem if my husband wanted another wife for a few reasons. 1) Polygamy is condemned in both our cultures and only a certain type of person would have more than one woman in our culture.  2) He is in no position to have another wife.  3) I would feel hurt.

[ShahBano_BZ]

I have as such no problem with it, I even tried to make my husband go for an other one, but he did not listen to me as usual. Maybe in future, he would, I won't mind at all.