40 replies to this topic

[ali1988]

ok so a few months ago i decided i wanted to get married but the problem is how do you find a wife???
i no allot of brothers are having the same problem as me i mean we cant exactally approach a random a sister and start speaking can we :s?

i no for sunnis its easier as they have a much larger community where i live the shia community is non existing

sister please give me some advice of what to do :/

and to those married share your storys of how you met your spouse

much appreciated jazkallah

[Love-Of-Islam]

shiaspouse.com look up the ad on here.

[Replicant]

[muslimah1]

ali1988, on 21 January 2012 - 07:25 PM, said:

i mean we cant exactally approach a random a sister and start speaking can we :s?

salam yes you can!! if u are genuinely interested in a sister for marriage then just approach her and starts speaking see if shes the type of girl you like then take it from there (of course making sure you dont turn it into a haram relationship and keep it serious) theres no room for shyness on the guys side when it comes to marriage if there is a specific girl from around you community that has caught your attention then find a way to speak to her or even ask a third party to speak to her for you like a shiekh or something they can let her know your interested...

[ali1988]

salam thanks for the replys im not too sure on muslim marrige sites :/.... and sister i meant like a random sister you see in a lecture or masjid or something i dont even no one shia sister in my city lol thats the problem am in theres no community here the closest place for me is London and due to work i cant go that often but insh Allah...

[Aabiss_Shakari]

ali1988, on 21 January 2012 - 07:25 PM, said:

ok so a few months ago i decided i wanted to get married but the problem is how do you find a wife???
i no allot of brothers are having the same problem as me i mean we cant exactally approach a random a sister and start speaking can we :s?

i no for sunnis its easier as they have a much larger community where i live the shia community is non existing

sister please give me some advice of what to do :/

and to those married share your storys of how you met your spouse

much appreciated jazkallah

Recite two Rak'at prayer with the niyah of Namaz e Hajat and pray to Allah for a good spouse. This is what is taught by Mola Ali a.s. You will be blessed with a good wife within six months Inshallah. (Experience is a good teacher ).

It has two benefits.

1. Your search will end soon that it is Allah only who decides and His decision is always best. It may happen that you do not like some one or some one do not like you but Allah will make best match of you.

2. As your spouse will be the gift of Allah after your prayer therefore, your spouse will be loyal and loving because Allah does not give defective gifts

[3laweyaZainabiya]

muslimah1, on 21 January 2012 - 07:49 PM, said:

salam yes you can!! if u are genuinely interested in a sister for marriage then just approach her and starts speaking see if shes the type of girl you like then take it from there (of course making sure you dont turn it into a haram relationship and keep it serious) theres no room for shyness on the guys side when it comes to marriage if there is a specific girl from around you community that has caught your attention then find a way to speak to her or even ask a third party to speak to her for you like a shiekh or something they can let her know your interested...

I don't know about the other girls but I would be uncomfortable if some random guy just came up to me for no reason. If he's gonna start talking about marriage then I would be even more uncomfortable lol

To the OP: it's best if you do not approach the girl herself, but you should have your parents talk to her parents and they should arrange a time when you two can sit down and talk.

Aabiss_Shakari, on 21 January 2012 - 09:44 PM, said:

Recite two Rak'at prayer with the niyah of Namaz e Hajat and pray to Allah for a good spouse. This is what is taught by Mola Ali a.s. You will be blessed with a good wife within six months Inshallah. (Experience is a good teacher ).

It has two benefits.

1. Your search will end soon that it is Allah only who decides and His decision is always best. It may happen that you do not like some one or some one do not like you but Allah will make best match of you.

2. As your spouse will be the gift of Allah after your prayer therefore, your spouse will be loyal and loving because Allah does not give defective gifts

Can I ask where you got this from and you wouldn't happen to know if it works for women too would you?

[muslimah1]

3laweyaZainabiya, on 21 January 2012 - 09:55 PM, said:

I don't know about the other girls but I would be uncomfortable if some random guy just came up to me for no reason. If he's gonna start talking about marriage then I would be even more uncomfortable lol

i dont mean go and ask her to marry you straight away LOLL but if ur interested just simply introduce yourself and i did mention doing it through a third party to i duno i guess the context of every situation should be considered.....

[Quranist]

pray to Allah.........

[Murtada]

ali1988, on 21 January 2012 - 07:58 PM, said:

i meant like a random sister you see in a lecture or masjid or something i dont even no one shia sister in my city lol thats the problem am in theres no community here the closest place for me is London and due to work i cant go that often but insh Allah...

Perhaps speaking to the Shaykh at the masjid might also help. Inshaa'Allah you will find a great spouse quick!

[Light of Ali]

ali1988, on 21 January 2012 - 07:58 PM, said:

salam thanks for the replys im not too sure on muslim marrige sites :/.... and sister i meant like a random sister you see in a lecture or masjid or something i dont even no one shia sister in my city lol thats the problem am in theres no community here the closest place for me is London and due to work i cant go that often but insh Allah...

+1

muslimah1, on 21 January 2012 - 07:49 PM, said:

salam yes you can!! if u are genuinely interested in a sister for marriage then just approach her and starts speaking see if shes the type of girl you like then take it from there (of course making sure you dont turn it into a haram relationship and keep it serious)

How would you feel if a random guy that you have never met approached you and said that he is interested? I don't think this is the right approach but this is just my opinion.

[muslimah1]

Light of Ali, on 22 January 2012 - 03:07 AM, said:

How would you feel if a random guy that you have never met approached you and said that he is interested? I don't think this is the right approach but this is just my opinion.

i dont see what the problem would be ? but then again i guess thats just my opinion ...

[hossein]

(bismilah)

But dont you'r parents have any contact with shia communities? Your mom for instance? Havent they thought about you marrying?
Have you told your mom you want to marry. I mean she can find good girls better than you can.

If its something YOU have to do, without parent interference, i would say go to a shia community nearby, and ask the sheikh for help. He can ask you about your personality and then based on that, with the help of other people in that community introduce a girl to you.

Due to work you cant go to masjid all the time yes, but what about weekends? Cant go to london on weekends either?! So i would go to the community for some while so people get to know me, then talk to the sheikh.

Hope it helps

Wasalam

[Mushkil Kusha]

Replicant, on 21 January 2012 - 07:41 PM, said:

Great lecture! LOL at the islamic pick up lines haha

[ali1988]

hossein, on 22 January 2012 - 11:47 AM, said:

(bismilah)

But dont you'r parents have any contact with shia communities? Your mom for instance? Havent they thought about you marrying?
Have you told your mom you want to marry. I mean she can find good girls better than you can.

If its something YOU have to do, without parent interference, i would say go to a shia community nearby, and ask the sheikh for help. He can ask you about your personality and then based on that, with the help of other people in that community introduce a girl to you.

Due to work you cant go to masjid all the time yes, but what about weekends? Cant go to london on weekends either?! So i would go to the community for some while so people get to know me, then talk to the sheikh.

Hope it helps

Wasalam

basically im opening a buisness aswell so time is very limited but yes i think speaking to the sheiks a good idea, i could get a wife in Iran but i dont really no id prefer if they was living in the uk as i think there would be culture barrier.



and chatting to a random sister i wouldnt do tbh lol

[muslimah1]

ali1988, on 22 January 2012 - 05:38 PM, said:

basically im opening a buisness aswell so time is very limited but yes i think speaking to the sheiks a good idea, i could get a wife in Iran but i dont really no id prefer if they was living in the uk as i think there would be culture barrier.



and chatting to a random sister i wouldnt do tbh lol

you dont know any shia sisters so there all going to be random lolll jokes

and yeh just ask the sheikh he should be able to help and if worse comes to worse just get one from iran and teach her your culture ....

MAY Allah SWT SEND YOU THE BEST WIFE SOON INSHALLAH !!!

[Abu Hadi]

Attend as many majalis, conferences, Shia events as possible. I find these are the best places to look for a wife. Allah(s.w.a) is blessing the gathering because His(s.w.a) name is being remembered and also you will find the quality of sisters at these events higher than at some random place. The internet is not bad as long as you are careful, meet the family, do some background investigation before marrying. There are alot of single sisters on ShiaChat. As long as you are respectful and don't harass them (one pm that is not responded to doesn't need a follow up). I can't openly encourage that but nudge, nudge, wink, wink, its one of many options, but seriously there are better ones.

Edited by Abu Hadi, 22 January 2012 - 07:10 PM.

[muslimah1]

Abu Hadi, on 22 January 2012 - 07:10 PM, said:

I can't openly encourage that but nudge, nudge, wink, wink, its one of many options, but seriously there are better ones.

LOLLLLL

[shiaaliibrahim]

Try http://simplyshia.com.  I have used this site and Shia sisters are very picky.  Make sure that you match their criteria before reaching out because they will shoot you down in a heart beat.

[ali1988]

shiaaliibrahim, on 19 June 2012 - 06:14 PM, said:

Try http://simplyshia.com.  I have used this site and Shia sisters are very picky.  Make sure that you match their criteria before reaching out because they will shoot you down in a heart beat.

salam bro im thinking i might have to do a back home thing in Iran i work 6/7 days atm so dont even have much time to attend islamic events and such
i know theres allot of sisters looking to get married aswell there must be a way other then marrige sites to get everyones second half of there deen complete :/

[Gypsy]

Try online matrimonial websites like ShiaMatch. Enrolled in match making activities like heavenly match. Get in touch with your local mosque. Ask them if they knows unmarried and unattached girls/women.

Did you ask your family to look for one?

[ali1988]

Gypsy, on 19 June 2012 - 09:32 PM, said:

Try online matrimonial websites like ShiaMatch. Enrolled in match making activities like heavenly match. Get in touch with your local mosque. Ask them if they knows unmarried and unattached girls/women.

Did you ask your family to look for one?

i spoke to one of the sheihks at the masjid he said he will let me know this was like 2-3 months ago

i have allot of family in iran and contacts but to be honest wanted to find someone in the uk..

[UmmAhmad]

ali1988, on 21 January 2012 - 07:25 PM, said:

ok so a few months ago i decided i wanted to get married but the problem is how do you find a wife???
i no allot of brothers are having the same problem as me i mean we cant exactally approach a random a sister and start speaking can we :s?

i no for sunnis its easier as they have a much larger community where i live the shia community is non existing

sister please give me some advice of what to do :/

and to those married share your storys of how you met your spouse

much appreciated jazkallah

Kudos for you! I am glad you think that way. When I was single I had got a lot of proposals by men personally. I did not appreciate it, but any man that went through a woman I knew that he respected me.

I was working in a Muslim grocery store, I had been Muslim for only 5 months when a family that regularly came to the store asked me if I was interested in marriage. They had a cousin that they thought would suit me. A few days later I went to their house for supper and he did to, it was like love at first sight. I liked everything about him, how he dressed, how he held himself, how you could tell he was being himself. He was very humble and had something special about him. I accepted his proposal and we married 5 days later. We have been married for 1 1/2 years and haven't had one argument, sometimes disagreements, but that is only because of cultural misunderstandings.  

I don't know your age, but my husband was 24 when we married, in his country this is old. (His brother Kadhim who was 18 married only a few months after us). Sometimes you just have to be patient and make lots of dua. If you find a sister you are interested in, go through your mother or your sister, and if you are over seas without a sister or a mom, have one of your close friends who is married, and go through his wife- if that is your friend accepts. If there's a will there's a way.

[Hasan0404]

All of u pray for me too

[Sapphire]

I do not know how to find a Shia Spouse. If I knew I would have been married by now.